Work birthday - I'm a jerk for not eating pizza and cake
Options
Replies
-
Perhaps you're being too sensitive. It was kind of the co-worker who said he would have purchased something dairy-free for you. And, it's doubtful people saw you as a jerk for eating healthy. It might have simply been a compliment.
It wasn't a compliment. I am too sensitive but it's also because I'm a very private person. I don't like discussing dieting in front of a room full of people. What happened in the room was rude and made me feel bad and I don't know why people think that its okay to discuss other people's private business.
When someone loses weight and makes big changes, people around him/her notice. It sounds like you work in a small office (12 people?) and in those types of environments, people really notice the big changes others make. Having a co-worker say you're a healthy eater may have made you feel uncomfortable because it focused the spotlight on you, but saying someone is a healthy eater is really not insulting or rude. Nor is it (IMO) discussing someone's private business. You were at a work party where food was provided. You did not want to eat it. (All fine). When people started asking you about it (probably because they felt bad they didn't get something you could eat), someone spoke up that you're a healthy eater. Really, what's the problem with that? How is that sacred, private business?
It's rude to try to talk someone into eating something that they have declined, to force them to defend their choices to accept or decline certain foods, to draw other people's attention to someone's food choices, or to make someone feel uncomfortable about their food choices (with exceptions for family, close friends, and medical personnel that have an informed basis for being concerned about the individual's health, or if the individual brings the issue up and solicits comment).0 -
Oh wow, so sorry your coworkers made you feel like this. My last office job they were huge on the birthdays thing and did the same thing and I was doing some serious running then and eating right. I Always got grief but our local vegetarian and vegan were getting it along with me so it was more like "us" vs "them" so I had a little strength with me. I'm hopeful that they'll get a "safe" list from you ahead of any other party situations that makes it less awkward.
Ours changed after one of the gals in HR went on a diet and really saw firsthand what we were going through. She thought my vegetarian friend was being too sensitive. So the reality of it had to hit home vs the perception of "Oh that won't hurt".0 -
As a girl, I think it's easier. Especially if you're working with guys. Just tell them you're watching your figure, they usually don't argue.
I know my boyfriend is constantly pressured to eat unhealthy things at his job though. He's already thin, so they just don't understand. But he's thin because he doesn't eat a bunch of junk!
Basically, it's your body. Don't get defensive, just say no thanks and that you're watching your figure. End of convo. And don't worry about what other people think.0 -
Political correctness has killed the traditional office party, which consisted of eating decent food, downing cocktails, and having interesting conversations, so all we really have left is crappy potlucks, ordering pizza and cake, and mindless chatter about the weather or reality TV. The least we could do is adapt the eating to something healthier. I usually just take as little of the food I don’t want as possible, excuse myself like I need to make a call, get rid of the stuff, and come back 10 minutes later.
What's healthier than pizza? Pizza has all three macros and as many micros as you care to add!0 -
potlucks aren't crappy here, actually. again, i'm really lucky. we have a wide variety of foods contributed from people from a wide variety of backgrounds so it's always interesting and delicious.
also, we drink at our office parties.
y'all don't hate! :flowerforyou:
I have worked primarily for large corporations and the government – no legal / HR department in their right minds would allow company sponsored drinking, there is just too much litigiousness and no one wants to get sued over some office party nonsense.
And I don’t hate – have fun at your party!
I work for a multi-national corporation, and we recently had an event called "Beers with Bill." (Bill is the the CEO) They *did* send out an email reminder that people should not be returning to work intoxicated, but they had lots of different beers, mixed nuts, popcorn, and cookies.0 -
I was very diligent when I first started counting my calories and I really had to limit myself but my coworkers noticed and were very polite about it ("you're so good at this!", etc.) When I actually fell off the wagon they were like "oh, you're having a donut?" and then I had to nod and tell them that I've been bad. Back on track now but I'm thankful my office wasn't judging of me.
0 -
Unless eating things is part of the job description, then actually consuming the food - or not - at an office party does not affect one's employability. And since it was an office PARTY, it's a social event, and one is free to skip all the food should they not want to or be unable to eat it.i don't understand why people feel the need to make a scene about not eating cake or pizza or whatever at work. just take a bite. show your appreciation. stop being a martyr. it's not hard to figure out... one bite never hurt anybody. unless you are risking going into anaphalactic shock (such as with a severe peanut allergy), it's only one bite to show your appreciation and participation.
Yep. If you want to get anywhere in any organization, you need to get along. That means making compromises for the sake of being a "team player".
Doing otherwise doesn't make someone a hero, it makes them unemployable.0 -
I politely say no thank you.
Then after more why why why I have to explain (AGAIN) that I can't eat dairy. Then whoever orders stuff says they feel bad they would have ordered me some without cheese.
I say thank you, but I'm not a pizza eater much anyway. No really it's okay.
Someone blurts out that I always eat HEALTHY - and suddenly everyone wants to know why I don't TREAT MYSELF. Then suddenly I'm a jerk and think I'm better than everyone.
I treated myself all weekend thank you and crappy cheese pizza without cheese is not all that good! The lunch I brought is way better.
Sometimes you just have to shrug and let them think whatever they think.0 -
It was marble cake with a huge layer of frosting. Store bought - didn't look all that great.
TY! :flowerforyou:0 -
it does not matter what your co- worker think or say. I understand you are a private person . Just stick to your bounderys and be proud that you did. Most people are jealous and more insure, when someone has the courage to do what is best for their own health. If you feel good about yourself and your choices don't let others try to bring you down. as it is up to you how you respond to this situation. I do know how you feel ,as where I work it is just a few of us early mornings the bring in donuts, cake, and candy I always politely say no. As not only am I trying to lose weight ,l am also diabetic. JUST BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. THEY WILL EVENTUALLY LEAVE IT ALONE. YOU CHOOSE HOW TO RESPOND!!!!!!0
-
Hmm, you're not a jerk but I would have participated in the lunch with my colleagues and adjusted my evening calories accordingly. One or two slices wouldn't have hurt blown the calorie budget. In future they may just not invite you if you're just going to stand there nibbling lettuce...0
-
Hmm, you're not a jerk but I would have participated in the lunch with my colleagues and adjusted my evening calories accordingly. One or two slices wouldn't have hurt blown the calorie budget. In future they may just not invite you if you're just going to stand there nibbling lettuce...
It's not the calories. She's allergic to dairy.0 -
For the record I totally explained why I didn't eat cake.
I don't like sweets much, don't have a soft spot for cake, AND ICING IS DAIRY DAIRY DAIRY.
I'm not perfect. Want to watch me act like a pig? Offer me bread, pasta, or booze.
It was marble cake with a huge layer of frosting. Store bought - didn't look all that great.
Oh, and if I ate it to "appease" people I would have had severe "gastrointestinal distress" the kind that has you running to the very public bathroom nearly in tears. Not happening.
I get that you're not fond of cake, and I'm not trying to convince you to eat any, really. I usually don't eat store cakes because the majority taste nasty. But there is the possibility of taking a piece - maybe have a nibble of the cake avoiding the icing, maybe not - and then toss it at the end of the party.
Also, FYI, there are many different types of icing. Some of the most popular have zero dairy. One of the most common store icings is just shortening and powdered sugar (no, I wouldn't eat it, myself, but if you had some it wouldn't cause you an issue). Seven minute frosting is just egg whites and sugar (plus flavorings/cream of tartar), but you're not likely to see that on a store cake.0 -
Same thing happened at my previous job, a girl who had been trying to lose weight (and was succeeding) passed on birthday cake and one jerk commented on her "not being a part of the group" despite the fact that she participated in every part of the celebration, except eating cake. I do not think the guy's intent was to be insensitive or hurtful, but she was hurt and embarrassed.
When that same girl's birthday rolled around - she said she did not want cake. Because she had been there to help celebrate every other employee's birthday and to be sure her special day was recognized too, instead of cake we had one of our local restaurants prepare one large tray of cookies & brownies and a second tray of fresh fruit. She was moved to tears that we had been so considerate and supportive of her healthy lifestyle. She opened up to everyone that she had struggled since childhood with her weight and had struggled with self-confidence issues as a result. From that day on, we always included a small tray of fresh fruit when we celebrated a birthday so that everyone could participate and feel included.
I think it is important to be supportive of everyone's choices - you never know what drives them.0 -
This thread delivers
The OP's problem has never been one for me despite having spent years and years on a very restrictve diet. I go to the office lunches and so on. "No thanks, I have food allergies that make me really sick - I came along for the company and the celebration, not for the food. I'll order an iced tea (or have a cup of that soda, or this bottle of water) so I can sit and chat." That with a pleasant smile usually ends the topic. Because everyone knows these events are not ABOUT the food; it's just a prop for the companionship. If anyone acts like a jerk after that, he's the jerk, not me, and it's obvious to onlookers.0 -
Hmm, you're not a jerk but I would have participated in the lunch with my colleagues and adjusted my evening calories accordingly. One or two slices wouldn't have hurt blown the calorie budget. In future they may just not invite you if you're just going to stand there nibbling lettuce...
It's not the calories. She's allergic to dairy.
Right you are. Substitute the word pizza for cake in that case. Eat the darn cake woman. she can't be allergic to everything.0 -
i don't understand why people feel the need to make a scene about not eating cake or pizza or whatever at work. just take a bite. show your appreciation. stop being a martyr. it's not hard to figure out... one bite never hurt anybody. unless you are risking going into anaphalactic shock (such as with a severe peanut allergy), it's only one bite to show your appreciation and participation.
Yep. If you want to get anywhere in any organization, you need to get along. That means making compromises for the sake of being a "team player".
Doing otherwise doesn't make someone a hero, it makes them unemployable.
Not eating food that makes you physically ill makes you unemployable?0 -
Hmm, you're not a jerk but I would have participated in the lunch with my colleagues and adjusted my evening calories accordingly. One or two slices wouldn't have hurt blown the calorie budget. In future they may just not invite you if you're just going to stand there nibbling lettuce...
It's not the calories. She's allergic to dairy.
Right you are. Substitute the word pizza for cake in that case. Eat the darn cake woman. she can't be allergic to everything.
My daughter is allergic to dairy. When her first birthday came around, baking her cake was a NIGHTMARE of epic proportions because dairy is in 99.9% of icing and cake recipes. I imagine op doesn't want to explode the contents of her bum all over her place of business. I know I wouldn't.0 -
I feel ya. I was "donut shamed" yesterday. I don't eat dairy as I have an intolerance. I was offered a chocolate cream filled donut and I replied that I don't eat donuts much anymore and that I can't have dairy. I was told that intolerance was a myth and that I was entitled to a treat. I am aware, but this isn't the treat that I want. And as far as that myth goes, I will eat that donut with the dairy and in about 20 minutes we can sit in a closed room together alone. You will never want me to eat dairy again lol!0
-
I had pretty much the same thing happen to me today. The social committee at work does a once a month take out day that you can pay 5$ and the social committee will arrange pizza, or subs, or whatever. Today was Pizza day and I declined. I treat myself on the weekends so during the week I'm not going to blow it on something that I really don't crave or feel the need to have. As I was walking my laps in the shop people were commenting on the fact that I wasn't participating, and shouldn't I have some pizza because I'll walk it off. UHM....NO. The walking is for the RUM I intend to drink on the weekend! :drinker:0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.7K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 394 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 945 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions