Anybody still feel ugly after losing weight?

moya_rargh

The thread title says it all. All that work trying to get in shape and your life is still a tale of brutal rejection and wondering what is wrong with you?

Am I the only one who can only see the 'old' me in the mirror?

agalassie

I feel the same way. I'm still not done with my weight loss journey, but I feel like I still look the same. People say I look great, but I still feel like I'm the same size I was when I started. Even when looking in the mirror, I know I'm wearing clothes 4 sizes smaller, but I still feel big. Don't know how to not feel that way.

mylife4eva

wow, i thought i was the only one! like today, i looked at myself in the mirror and thought, i lost 21 pounds but i still look as fat as i used to' though ppl say i look slimmer, i dont see it.

endorphinqueen

Yeah I get you. Losing weight is one thing but it does bring all the other issues to the surface. It did for me anyway.

tidesong

Nope, you're not alone. I feel the same way. Everyone thinks I should be happy, losing 120 pounds. But they don't realize how emotional of a journey it is. How I still see the fat woman in the mirror, how I still FEEL like the fat woman. Or how I hate how my body looks now because of all the loose skin. You most certainly aren't alone. But it sucks to have come this far only to feel this way.

fragilegift

I'm another one who still feels the same. Ask me to describe myself, and I will still say 'short and fat' as I have done for many many years. This of course, gets claims of 'no you're not!' But I don't believe them, regardless of what the tag in my jeans says. :ohwell:

moya_rargh

You all look great, let's start a movement to tell mirrors that they are wrong!

BaconWagon

Yeah I get you. Losing weight on one thing but it does bring all the other issues to the surface. It did for me anyway.

I personally wouldn't say so but i couldn't agree more with what she said ^

Tffanie4712

Yes I feel like that every second.I feel like that girl in the LIFETIME movie THE PERFECT BODY no matter how define my body becomes I will always feel fat.I guess cause I was teased in school and it still hasn't wore off even though I'm 25.

Jewlz280

I have days like that. But for the most part, I feel much better. And it's the little things. And I've made a conscious effort to recognize those little NSV's. For example, it was a big deal to me the first time I went to a public restroom and I fit in the stall with no issues or feeling squished when I had been to that same bathroom before and felt like it was this teeny tiny box. Squeezing between things that before, I just couldn't. Realizing that I shop in the 'normal' section and not plus sized. But in doing those, I realized I had to take a bit more time for myself. I'm a girl, so obviously this would be a bit different, but I've taken the time to buy a new wardrobe. I didn't just go and grab anything -- I'm buying slowly things that I LOVE and not just because they fit. I got new shoes that before wouldn't fit my *ahem* chubby feet. I've changed my hair and I even bought new perfume. I've decided that it's time that I get some new workout gear and I don't want just some random shorts and T, I want some great fitting workout pants. I'm taking time for ME. I'm having downtime and just making ME a priority again. Appreciating ME and what my body has done and realizing that not one single person on this EARTH is perfect and that I'm darn good just as I am. I think in the end that's what it is all about. Learning not just to lose weight, but to REALLY care about yourself and stop only thinking of yourself as a number but as a whole. I rarely have times where I think I'm ugly anymore. I have them and have bad days -- we all do. But overall, I feel like I have something to be proud of and admire and to honor. And I hope that by doing that, I do more good things and spread it out in the world. Whimsical and mushy, I know. But.... still true. When you're happy, you spread happy.

ETA: I'm not at goal on here, but I lost 50lbs. before ever joining MFP.

alaynavee

Moya, I just checked out your before and after pics, and I can't believe they are of the same person!! You had a sweet look before, but now you have added powerful, too. You have worked very hard and deserve so much credit. Don't listen to the ugly voice in your head that says otherwise! It's lying to you

emilypink573

Well i feel fatter believe it or not but it doesnt upset me because I know its not true but idk i feel it!

moya_rargh

I have days like that. But for the most part, I feel much better. And it's the little things. And I've made a conscious effort to recognize those little NSV's. For example, it was a big deal to me the first time I went to a public restroom and I fit in the stall with no issues or feeling squished when I had been to that same bathroom before and felt like it was this teeny tiny box. Squeezing between things that before, I just couldn't. Realizing that I shop in the 'normal' section and not plus sized. But in doing those, I realized I had to take a bit more time for myself. I'm a girl, so obviously this would be a bit different, but I've taken the time to buy a new wardrobe. I didn't just go and grab anything -- I'm buying slowly things that I LOVE and not just because they fit. I got new shoes that before wouldn't fit my *ahem* chubby feet. I've changed my hair and I even bought new perfume. I've decided that it's time that I get some new workout gear and I don't want just some random shorts and T, I want some great fitting workout pants. I'm taking time for ME. I'm having downtime and just making ME a priority again. Appreciating ME and what my body has done and realizing that not one single person on this EARTH is perfect and that I'm darn good just as I am. I think in the end that's what it is all about. Learning not just to lose weight, but to REALLY care about yourself and stop only thinking of yourself as a number but as a whole. I rarely have times where I think I'm ugly anymore. I have them and have bad days -- we all do. But overall, I feel like I have something to be proud of and admire and to honor. And I hope that by doing that, I do more good things and spread it out in the world. Whimsical and mushy, I know. But.... still true. When you're happy, you spread happy.

ETA: I'm not at goal on here, but I lost 50lbs. before ever joining MFP.

Wow, what a great post!

CassieReannan

Still feel somedays like I am 115kg... I still automatically shop for my old sizes then realize I'm not them anymore. I don't really feel ugly though, just still the same.

ProgressNotPerfection32

I have heard it takes awhile (up to a year) for your brain to catch up to your body changes. I never saw myself as obese.........so what I see now is depressing since everything that was filled out with fat is now just flabby. I lost my butt and boobs.......have bat wings for arms and a deflated balloon for a belly. I like how I feel. I like that I'm Ina. Size I haven't worn since I was 16 yrs old. But seeing the new body at this weight and remembering what it USED to be at this weight is downright depressing.

However- the little things still hit me, even after 72 lbs gone. Today I was sitting in the car and noticed the big tendon behind my knee. Don't remember those before! Noticed how muscular my inner thigh is, totally caught me off guard a few weeks ago. Being able to wear heels after years of pain because I was too fat. Those small things make the bigger, harder things seem a little less big.

Slrajr

Yeah. I don't see "the old me" but I do see the me getting older:)

neandermagnon

I think this is why it's important for you to love yourself for who you are before you reach your goal weight. This does not happen automatically because you hit a specific weight or body fat percentage or clothing size.

Accepting yourself for who you are doesn't mean being satisfied with how you are if your body's in an unhealthy state. However rather than trying to lose fat out of self-loathing and self-disgust, you're trying to lose it out of kindness to yourself because you love yourself and know you deserve to be fit and healthy.

it's not too late to learn to love and accept yourself, but it's totally normal for someone who does not accept themselves for who they are, to still feel the same way about themselves when they hit their goal weight/bf%/size.

moya_rargh

It goes to show that the problems in here *taps head* are harder to overcome.

princegamiz

Yea there are some days (I call fat days) when I feel very heavy but I try to remind myself that I look fabulous. Remind yourself everyday that you are not as heavy and hard work pays off and your looking damn good.

laurynwithawhy

I have suffered from this my whole life. Even when I can recognize my weight loss, even if I think my body looks good, I still find something about myself to hate. It's all in my head. I started what I call "Walmart Therapy" (it's really mean but stick with me here). I go to Walmart and look at all of the people and their spouses. I routinely see obese, ugly, mean, dirty, etc. people with fairly attractive spouses. It tells me that a) there are 7billion people in this world and you will find someone no matter what, and b) even if you are flawed it's okay to be yourself and own it.

1longroad

Yes, some days more so than others!!

ohellotheresa

I think this is pretty common. BUT
It can be a red flag for something more serious:
body dysmorphic disorder.
here's a thing about it: I hope it's helpful!
(not trying to say anyone in this thread has this, I just figure knowledge is power)
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181960/

moya_rargh

I think this is pretty common. BUT
It can be a red flag for something more serious:
body dysmorphic disorder.
here's a thing about it: I hope it's helpful!
(not trying to say anyone in this thread has this, I just figure knowledge is power)
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181960/

Yep - been there all of my life. I used to get bullied throughout my childhood/adolescence for having LOADS of spots and being really small and skinny. This affected my confidence greatly and I used to shy away from girls (and later women) - I didn't even get my first partner until I was 25!

I've always felt that I'm too ugly for anything and even getting in shape hasn't helped. I feel that I need to look like Jeff Seid before anybody will look me at me with a look better than contempt. What my mirror shows me is a far cry from the positive feedback that I've had on here.

goodnamegone

I don't feel ugly but I do still see a fat person when I look in the mirror. I know I lost a lot of weight and look tons better but I'm not where I want to be yet. I'm wanting to work on having a positive image of self so wear clothes where I feel that I look my best in.

bregalad5

your life is still a tale of brutal rejection and wondering what is wrong with you?

I get rejected more now than I did before. I think it's because I try more now, but it actually hurts worse than it did. I still have a long way to go weight loss wise, but it's annoying that I have worse luck than I did when I was bigger

I didn't even get my first partner until I was 25!

Same here!

kawaiifurby

I feel the same way a lot, and I either end up overeating or undereating when I feel like this. It feels like a massive cycle of doom because whenever I lose weight I think 'wow, I still look gross, what's the point' and end up gaining it back again

moya_rargh

I feel the same way a lot, and I either end up overeating or undereating when I feel like this. It feels like a massive cycle of doom because whenever I lose weight I think 'wow, I still look gross, what's the point' and end up gaining it back again

I just get determined to hit the gym whenever I feel like that.

padams2359

Hell No! Like getting noticed, and now that I am the size I am, never realized that the vast majority of people that live in my area are very over weight. They walk around in their stretchy pants stuffing cookies in their mouths. I have had them look at me, then look down like they can't look me in the eye while walking past me in the mall. That is definately Not My Problem!

zyxst

Yep, because losing weight doesn't automatically make me pretty/beautiful/sexy/etc.. The only way to change my ugliness is with surgery.

Dpurcell924

I think everyone has that issue... they always find something they don't like about themselves and sometimes it changes by what catches your eye in the mirror....my hangup is the scale more than the mirror...I am at the point where I'm actually gaining because it is turning to muscle however mentally it makes me think I'm getting fat...if that makes sense...So to avoid it I don't weigh myself anymore I just go by how my clothes fit.

shannongoneau

I 90% of the time feel pretty, even 50lbs ago I still felt pretty I'm still about 60lbs away from my goal weight, but I never really think of myself as being ugly in person. I'm very critical when it comes to pictures of me though. Its like I see something different when I look in the mirrior, but if the same image is captured in a picture I hate it and rip it apart. I guess thats kind of a double answer. Pretty in person but not in a picture.