Anybody still feel ugly after losing weight?

ziggiezambi

I think it's because we see losing weight as a cure for all our problems. But in the end nothing changes except the fact that you’re a few pounds lighter.

IvanyMerk2012

i still feel ugly when i look in the mirror i see fat when im actually not but i see it all the time

Wilhellmina

I still think bigger then I truly am and I feel like I look older then before with the extra pounds...

Bernadette60614

Other things which helped:

Stop looking at celebs and comparing yourself. First, these women are paid to look a certain way, and many times (e.g., Victoria's Secret models), they represent less than 1% of all women.

I focus on what I can do with an improved body rather than the looks. I have way more energy, I've far more able to do things I couldn't do before. I turn my focus on my accomplishments.

cursiny

I weigh less now then I can actually remember. Have lost nearly 80 pounds from my highest weight but still have a horrible opinion of myself. I just know I have so much left to go and continue to think that I should be doing this faster.

seltzermint555

I've also found that when I was bigger I never REALLY LOOKED at myself in the mirror. I NEVER looked at myself naked and wore the same outfits over and over again because I knew I could put them on and didn't have to worry about my stomach sticking out or something.

Oh yeah. Totally this. I used to purposely avoid mirrors and reflective glass, for several years. I was well versed in the art of denial and avoidance. I started looking at myself properly when I was around 230 lb. Now I'm 208 so there's not a MASSIVE difference...but if I'd really *seen* myself at 307 or even 262, I think the difference would be more noticeable for me.

flyawayrach

I had always fantasised about what it would be like to be skinny, and how good I'd look.

I hadn't been a "healthy" weight since I was about 9 maybe, so I often romantisized the idea of being skinny throughout my teenage years, and always tried to depict what I'd look like or hazzard a guess. And even through the thrill and happiness of exceeding my goal weight and everything, it isn't AT ALL what I thought it would be like.

Thankfully I'm still young so I wasn't left with any excess skin, and it all snapped back rather nicely. But parts of me just don't feel full anymore, if you know what I mean? I still feel like "that fat girl" even though I don't look like "her" necessarily on the outside. It's a real pain in the bum. >:(

dorkof82

i feel this way when i look at myself naked, because im not as toned as i would like and have a lot of loose skin. but in clothes, im very happy with how far ive come

SapiensPisces

I don't feel that I'm ugly, but I don't see myself as average size (which I am now). I look in the mirror and still see a really fat woman. I think it's just going to take time for me to readjust to a new normal. In the meantime, I'm just going to focus on sticking to my goals every day/week/month.

AprilMae1975

This is an issue that I am fighting to overcome. There are days that I feel totally pretty and very sexy and other days I feel like a fat and ugly person. I am learning to look at every little change going on with my body and find the things that make me smile and focus on those. I still have a long way to go but things are much better than they were a year ago.

devilsdare

I still see the old me in the mirror sometimes. I'm 5kg away from what I was before I gained all the weight but when I look in the mirror all I see is what is still wrong. On a good day I think I look ok and get a picture taken of me and then all I can say is god I still look huge after losing 27kg.

jkowula

anyone still feel ugly after losing weight???......all the time....

Me too, but that's cause I am ugly! Cant help a face that looks like a tractor ran over...

NRSPAM

Since I've lost so much weight, I can definately see a difference, although sometimes when I see pictures of myself, it's hard for me to believe it's me I'm looking at. I don't realize how much smaller I am now. I still have that belly that I can't seem to get rid of, and I have some loose skin that I just can't stand, and I've still got work to do. I'm still not happy with what I see in the mirror, so I will keep going and working hard until I am. I will continue to lift weights until I see the definition I'm looking for, and do my cardio until enough fat is lost for me to see my muscles. Hopefully one day I will meet my expectations for myself.

Lld320

I focus too much on what I have left to go instead of what I have already overcome, but overall I feel like I have become more attractive. However, I do not expect some of the extreme reactions I get when I see people I have not seen for a couple of months - they clearly think I have undergone a more extreme transformation than I do (probably because I see myself every day), but they act like I am not who I used to be, which really weirds me out..

I have started to see more than anything else how ugly other people are. For some terrible messed up reason the only people it is okay to hate or make fun of these days are overweight people. For some reason it is okay for people to look down on others just because of their weight.. It makes me really sad to realize how shallow and judgmental all these people we see everyday and think are 'normal' act. It is totally INSANE to me that I get treated differently just because I weigh less. I am the same freaking person I was 50+ lbs ago. But for some reason it is like I am not to them, and that is really pathetic..

I think no matter where my journey ends I will always identify more with overweight individuals because I do not have to worry about this deep seeded hatred that exists in people that have never had weight problems and are so instinctively derogatory towards those that do.

fitgirlandfoodie

Never felt pretty, probably never will. The weight loss has made it less all-consuming, but I never like how I look.

HypersonicFitNess

I won't say I feel ugly but I still feel fat and it's been 6 years since I lost "the weight". When I look in the mirror I still see what I don't like about myself and I still have to remind myself where I used to be.

That being said, I was overweight all my life until age 38 when I finally lost the excess baggage. When you look at it that way it may take a little longer to wrap my head around the "new me".

Try to remind yourself how far you've come.
Look in the mirror daily and pick out 10 things you DO love about yourself (things that have changed since you lost the weight)
I am actually training another woman now and she is having the same issues with things she doesn't like about herself...this helps reinforce the positive mental things I'm trying to learn.

EDIT: what is especially hard for me, is people I just meet think I have always been thin...they look at me as if I have never faced what they are.....

odddrums

Finally have time to jump on the bandwagon!

Yes, though I personally feel more fat than ugly. As I lose weight I find my face, shoulders, arms and legs to look better, but I still see that same pudgy stomach that always made me feel unattractive. It's going down and I'm definitely in the best shape of my life, and only getting healthier! But I still see it when I look in the mirror. I got to my goal weight about a month ago, the scale said I was 179.6! I've never been below 200, let alone below 180, since i hit 5'9" in 8th grade! but then I looked in the mirror and I just looked the same. That's when I knew no matter how much I lose I'll probably still have a belly that sticks out. I just have to accept that my father was a pirate and left me with a sunken chest. :laugh:

It's funny, I'll find pictures of myself that other people take and I can really see the difference there, but every morning and evening in the mirror I look at myself shirtless and just see a fat slob. It also doesn't help that all the other guys at my gym seem to have that inverted triangle body and I'm stuck with this cylinder but it's getting better.

I'm still going to work as hard as I can to lose what's left of the pudge, get stronger and healthier, but the biggest part for me now is I need to start accepting myself and being okay with the fact that this is how I look. I'm really glad I lost the weight though, because now I can start working on things to keep me healthy and focus on what really matters.

rle2512

I was never drastically over weight, I have been pretty confident as long as i can wear clothing, (ie not 100 degree summer months) ive lost 40 lbs in the last year, and i am more self concious than ever. I see every "roll" and little thing i'd like to work on. I think seeing what we can do do our bodys for the good makes us look for more to improve on, intentionally or not. I just remind myself giving up will NOT improve how i feel. Just keep swimming=]

happysherri

Not so much outside. But I have that negative voice saying 'your not good enough, you're stupid, you're sloppy, compared to her you're less, etc...'

MickeyBoo

I think this is why it's important for you to love yourself for who you are before you reach your goal weight. This does not happen automatically because you hit a specific weight or body fat percentage or clothing size.

Accepting yourself for who you are doesn't mean being satisfied with how you are if your body's in an unhealthy state. However rather than trying to lose fat out of self-loathing and self-disgust, you're trying to lose it out of kindness to yourself because you love yourself and know you deserve to be fit and healthy.

it's not too late to learn to love and accept yourself, but it's totally normal for someone who does not accept themselves for who they are, to still feel the same way about themselves when they hit their goal weight/bf%/size.

Agree with this, I lost 50kg (110pd) back in 2006, thought I did a fantastic job and felt great but I soon realised when I had to stop focussing on the losing that the only thing left to focus on was me and why I was so overweight to begin with and why I was still uncomfortable looking in the mirror. My head and self esteem were a mess. It took me gaining back 20kg (40pd) to then stop and maintain for a while and get my head around it all. I ended up in a much better head space and learnt how to accept myself warts and all, but it took time.

I did end up gaining more weight due to injuries and more stress than any sane person could deal with without a vice, and it took a lot to get my head back in the game. But I'm 30pds down now and the journey has been noticeably different. I don't beat myself up, don't call myself names to get myself motivated, my thought process is positive and I can see changes and accept them for what they are, clothes are looser, measurements are smaller and it's not 'if' I get to my goal weight but 'when'.

If I had of taken time the first time around to figure out why I hated myself so much then I wouldn't have re-gained the weight, and I'd have a much healthier relationship with food

moya_rargh

Some powerful stories and great advice on this thread.

moya_rargh

Not so much outside. But I have that negative voice saying 'your not good enough, you're stupid, you're sloppy, compared to her you're less, etc...'

Yep, that's me alright!

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bushidowoman

I've felt ugly my whole life. It's an issue that has nothing to do with weight, and losing weight/gaining muscle/whatever else I do will never change it.
But I have changed my focus to where I care much less about being attractive and much more about being kind and generous, treating others with love, and extending others grace. If I can do those things, and then exercise for my health and happiness, then I'm happy.
In the end, how we look(ed) won't matter a hill of beans.

paulperryman

I've always been really self hating, withdrawn yet very open with people i am confortable with but above all no self worth, that has nothing to do with weight perse tho the weight just adds ontop., Since i started this weight loss 9months in, 30-31kgs lighter but i still feel fat and ugly, i have loose flab in my belly and to top it off all the scales and tape measure are screwing with my head, i can visibly see a huge difference and clothes are getting looser and looser despite buying smaller and smaller but those numbers don't seem to add up with the tape measure and fat measurements saying i'm still overweight and have nearly 24% which is down from over 35% but hasn't changed in several months seems i'm gaining some muscle and losing weight but not fat %

as for the mental side, i dont have the voice saying you're a failure in this atleast, but it does say it's not good enough and i will never be truly at peace. I'm comfortable where the weight is atm and have backed off to not lose anything signifigant anymore but it feels like i can't stop now aswell.

on the positive side i'm proud of what i managed to achieve and have more self worth now tho the majority of me has only changed on the outside. Same with coming up on 41years old next february and i still feel like a kid inside but outwardly i'm not.

Nicola1944

Yep, always have and probably always will !

AllyCatXandi

Mm-hmm. Except now I'm not overweight on top of that, haha.

I guess I've come to terms with the fact that I'm never going to be happy with the way I look. But I've learned to not derive my sense of self-worth from that. I could resemble a blobfish and that wouldn't change the way I perceive my value as a human being. As my grandma would say, "My face - I don't mind it, I'm always behind it" xP

It doesn't mean I don't get...uncomfortable when my appearance does come into focus. Receiving compliments becomes an awkward blush-and-mumble affair.

moya_rargh

Thanks for the replies everybody. I think it's safe to say that I have rather severe self-esteem issues!

tylercreighton

I lost 190 lbs, got to 19% bodyfat, and maintained that body fat % whilst gaining 30lbs (so all muscle). And yes, I still look in the mirror every day and see a big person. My friends and family all tell me how great I look. I know I should feel the same way, I post pictures of my progress and act the part, but, inside, I still feel very inadequate. I think this is a very common problem. We wouldn't have gotten morbidly obese in the first place if we didn't have self esteem issues. Just know you are not alone. It helps to know I am not.

Calliope610

A very wise friend once told me "If you want good self esteem, start doing esteemable things; If you want self worth, start doing worthy things." Yep, very wise. And if you are already doing those esteemable and worthy things, start consciously acknowledging that to yourself.

No one can give you self esteem. If others could do that, it would be called "others esteem". Sure, what others think of you can influence the way you think about yourself, or esteem yourself or how you value yourself.

But achieving a good sense of esteem or worth for one's self is very much like achieving your weight/health/fitness goals. Others can supply inspiration, suggestions, encouragement, advice, etc, but unless you put in the effort to make a change, nothing changes. Sure, it's easy to say "acknowledge the good about yourself" just as it is easy to "just get up early and go to the gym", but results are not seen until you actually put in the effort.