Not bothering to date.. Its all frankly worrying..

KateGifford

I've got an account on OkCupid, but I have yet to meet any of the guys in person. I have given my number or to a couple of them, but they tend to creep me out before I can decide to meet them. Mostly, they just end up asking for "racey" pictures, and then I just stop responding.

The creepiest, though, I was texting for literally no more than four days. He ended up saying "I want us to be official". I was just like, I haven't even met you in person yet, and you want to be official? I didn't text him back after that, and it took him a week of unanswered texts before her finally got the hint.

I'm starting to feel there really may be no hope for me, haha.

togmo

I don't know, relationships aren't all there cracked up to be, even the good ones. There are perks but being married or being single has its advantages. I kinda wish I did more dating and had a little more fun because once you are married you miss meeting that person that tells you a story about taking a dump somewhere inappropriate and then taking them home for the night. Is it strange that as a man I would like to hear a woman tell me that story, yet a woman finds it vulgar?

Richard Jeni says it best when he says;

"Relationship are tough. Sex is easy. We take a good idea - sex - and turn it into a bad idea - marriage. Statistically the divorce rate is fifty percent and climbing. The "I just had an orgasm and I didn't like it" rate is holding steady at zero"

He also says;

"Married or single? There is no good choice. It's like when your doctor says Ointment? or Suppositries?"

There are a million great lines out there but I thought of him talking about being single and lonely or married and annoyed when I read this post...

cicisiam

If it is meant to be it will be with no dating. It will just happen.. just my belief..why take life so seriously..Enjoy!

RaggedyPond

It just happens. You will know.

smc864

Another prime example of why I'm not going to date ANY time soon...

The other day at the gym a guy asked for my phone number and wanted to take me out. First off, I'm not a huge fan of conversing while I'm trying to work out but he was handsome so I figured, eh what the hell, and gave it to him. We've talked a few other times and he seemed like a nice guy.

I am a single mother and would have had to find someone to watch my 1.5 year old so I could go out with this guy and I told him that. I've really been giving it a lot of thought the last couple days and decided that I'm not ready to date yet. It has nothing to do with him, I'm just not ready. Last night I texted him and told him that and I hope we can still be friends. I wake up this morning to find a text message of him ripping me a new one... talking about how I like to play games, I'm full of s***, etc. This is EXACTLY why I don't want to date. A seemingly "nice" guy can't take the honest truth. Would he have rather me waste both of our time and his money for me to come to the same conclusion?

And now I get to see him everyday at the gym, because we work out at the same time. Yay! Looks like I'll be picking a new time to go...

MM_1982

Another prime example of why I'm not going to date ANY time soon...

The other day at the gym a guy asked for my phone number and wanted to take me out. First off, I'm not a huge fan of conversing while I'm trying to work out but he was handsome so I figured, eh what the hell, and gave it to him. We've talked a few other times and he seemed like a nice guy.

I am a single mother and would have had to find someone to watch my 1.5 year old so I could go out with this guy and I told him that. I've really been giving it a lot of thought the last couple days and decided that I'm not ready to date yet. It has nothing to do with him, I'm just not ready. Last night I texted him and told him that and I hope we can still be friends. I wake up this morning to find a text message of him ripping me a new one... talking about how I like to play games, I'm full of s***, etc. This is EXACTLY why I don't want to date. A seemingly "nice" guy can't take the honest truth. Would he have rather me waste both of our time and his money for me to come to the same conclusion?

And now I get to see him everyday at the gym, because we work out at the same time. Yay! Looks like I'll be picking a new time to go...

Why did you give him your number in the first place if you weren't ready to date? His temper tantrum via text was uncalled for, but it sounded like you were leading him on.

rml_16

Dating feels more like a checklist thing now anyways, if you tick all the boxes then you have a chance etc lol....I guess i'm old fashioned but I personally like the romance, flirting, fun and shyness that comes with meeting someone for the 1st time...

Hopeless Romantic to the end!

~Charlie

Is more of your dating online or in person? Online is more checklist oriented.

That is my biggest issue with online dating. I think people overlook and dismiss people they might actually give a chance to in person. You miss so much through a computer or texting. And I think people probably dismiss some pretty awesome people because there's an unchecked box.

amy1612

LMAO!!! Get yourself down the Big Market pet

smc864

Another prime example of why I'm not going to date ANY time soon...

The other day at the gym a guy asked for my phone number and wanted to take me out. First off, I'm not a huge fan of conversing while I'm trying to work out but he was handsome so I figured, eh what the hell, and gave it to him. We've talked a few other times and he seemed like a nice guy.

I am a single mother and would have had to find someone to watch my 1.5 year old so I could go out with this guy and I told him that. I've really been giving it a lot of thought the last couple days and decided that I'm not ready to date yet. It has nothing to do with him, I'm just not ready. Last night I texted him and told him that and I hope we can still be friends. I wake up this morning to find a text message of him ripping me a new one... talking about how I like to play games, I'm full of s***, etc. This is EXACTLY why I don't want to date. A seemingly "nice" guy can't take the honest truth. Would he have rather me waste both of our time and his money for me to come to the same conclusion?

And now I get to see him everyday at the gym, because we work out at the same time. Yay! Looks like I'll be picking a new time to go...

Why did you give him your number in the first place if you weren't ready to date? His temper tantrum via text was uncalled for, but it sounded like you were leading him on.

I should have known this would turn around and be my fault again... Because at the time I had every intention of going out with him. After a couple of days of thinking about it I changed my mind. I'm pretty sure going out to dinner with him even though I knew I wasn't interested in dating him or anyone else would be the true definition of leading someone on.

At least I know I'm really not ready to date and won't be giving out my number anymore... heaven forbid another man gets butt hurt after mild rejection. :bigsmile:

smc864

Another prime example of why I'm not going to date ANY time soon...

The other day at the gym a guy asked for my phone number and wanted to take me out. First off, I'm not a huge fan of conversing while I'm trying to work out but he was handsome so I figured, eh what the hell, and gave it to him. We've talked a few other times and he seemed like a nice guy.

I am a single mother and would have had to find someone to watch my 1.5 year old so I could go out with this guy and I told him that. I've really been giving it a lot of thought the last couple days and decided that I'm not ready to date yet. It has nothing to do with him, I'm just not ready. Last night I texted him and told him that and I hope we can still be friends. I wake up this morning to find a text message of him ripping me a new one... talking about how I like to play games, I'm full of s***, etc. This is EXACTLY why I don't want to date. A seemingly "nice" guy can't take the honest truth. Would he have rather me waste both of our time and his money for me to come to the same conclusion?

And now I get to see him everyday at the gym, because we work out at the same time. Yay! Looks like I'll be picking a new time to go...

sometimes thats just the chance you take and the outcome you get. People forget about how others feel and only think about how valuable their time is.......and take offense when they feel like they wasted it.

Ummmmm how did I waste his time? Oh I'm sorry, he'll never get the 15 seconds back it took to read my text message. Jeezus.

NessaWilde

Once I was meeting up with a guy after class to go catch a movie, I met up with him at the agreed upon time and place and he was with a couple of his friends. I went into the bathroom to touch up my makeup and when I returned he and his friends had done a couple of lines of coke.

JONZ64

Last night I texted him and told him that and I hope we can still be friends. I wake up this morning to find a text message of him ripping me a new one... talking about how I like to play games, I'm full of s***, etc. This is EXACTLY why I don't want to date. A seemingly "nice" guy can't take the honest truth. Would he have rather me waste both of our time and his money for me to come to the same conclusion?

And now I get to see him everyday at the gym, because we work out at the same time. Yay! Looks like I'll be picking a new time to go...

ROID RAGE:mad: , you're lucky you got out sooner than later:laugh:

geebusuk

While I wouldn't act like that regardless and definitely wouldn't be burning bridges with someone I saw regularly...
Consider that it does take courage and probably a fair bit of emotional investment for many men (certainly for me) to ask a random pretty woman out. And having had it confirmed, it'll likely seem very much like a rejection of him after that.
It is going to hurt and some unfortunately will retaliate.

Of course, the trick is to work out to choose the ones that won't be like that - but in my experience as a bitter 'nice guy', the ones like that are exactly the sort that women believe aren't .

smc864

Ummmmm how did I waste his time? Oh I'm sorry, he'll never get the 15 seconds back it took to read my text message. Jeezus.

calm down, now I can see why you are single. I just stated that he believed he wasted his time because he was feeling like you were starting something. and apparently it was more than one text.

I'm single because I choose to be... great use of a clichéd phrase though. :drinker:


(edited to fixing coding)

LuLuChick78

I just want to know where to meet quality guys when you're living somewhere suburban, hit the gym at "mom" time, not interested in the bar scene, and would love someone gainfully employed, in my age range, fitness-minded, straight, unmarried, and preferably with kids. Muscles and tattoos preferred.

I've tired a few online sites with no luck. All my friends are married. Sigh.

I found one just like that (sorry, he is taken now lol) on my friend list here on MFP. Serious. Maybe take another look around you and you may be surprised who you see. I don't necessarily mean here on MFP, just in general.

Good luck! :drinker:

smc864

cliched? I was just speaking the truth......not about your behavior toward him but your behavior toward me stating how HE might have felt,.,.,.,.,not saying I care about his feelings but we must see things from others perception to understand their responses and or behaviors

After reading the text I couldn't care less about his perception or feelings. He seems crazy... If you would have read it I bet you would be a lot less likely to defend him.

And I haven't displayed any behavior towards you... I typed responses on the internet, which you have interpreted a certain way. How about you calm down... It's only a MFP forum :bigsmile:

smc864

cliched? I was just speaking the truth......not about your behavior toward him but your behavior toward me stating how HE might have felt,.,.,.,.,not saying I care about his feelings but we must see things from others perception to understand their responses and or behaviors

After reading the text I couldn't care less about his perception or feelings. He seems crazy... If you would have read it I bet you would be a lot less likely to defend him.

And I haven't displayed any behavior towards you... I typed responses on the internet, which you have interpreted a certain way. How about you calm down... It's only a MFP forum :bigsmile:

I am calm, haha I don't care about the guy LOL I was just aggravating and relaxing at work =P

oh be quiet :flowerforyou:

truce :flowerforyou:

Celtic_Ace

guys get a room

Razz_Baby

cliched? I was just speaking the truth......not about your behavior toward him but your behavior toward me stating how HE might have felt,.,.,.,.,not saying I care about his feelings but we must see things from others perception to understand their responses and or behaviors

After reading the text I couldn't care less about his perception or feelings. He seems crazy... If you would have read it I bet you would be a lot less likely to defend him.

And I haven't displayed any behavior towards you... I typed responses on the internet, which you have interpreted a certain way. How about you calm down... It's only a MFP forum :bigsmile:

Haters gonna hate, girl. Don't worry about it.



There was one guy I met off of PoF. He was a really cute cop, an adorable little girl, and just bought his own house. Anyway, I met him and we hit it off. We were on the phone for hours. The more time I talked to him the more I realized how judgmental and racist he was. Probably a product of being a cop in the New Orleans area, I don't know. But I couldn't tolerate it. I called him on it one day (after we dated for about two weeks) and told him that I really don't care for that kind of talk. He completely blew up on me. Told me I have an attitude problem and he is going to need to correct that.

Thankfully, he lived nearly 2 hours from me at that time...I haven't heard from him since.

DMZ_1

Dating feels more like a checklist thing now anyways, if you tick all the boxes then you have a chance etc lol....I guess i'm old fashioned but I personally like the romance, flirting, fun and shyness that comes with meeting someone for the 1st time...

Hopeless Romantic to the end!

~Charlie

Is more of your dating online or in person? Online is more checklist oriented.

That is my biggest issue with online dating. I think people overlook and dismiss people they might actually give a chance to in person. You miss so much through a computer or texting. And I think people probably dismiss some pretty awesome people because there's an unchecked box.

There is merit to letting things develop naturally and I believe that better quality dates from initially seeing someone in person, then going on a date. I would say that a lot of online dates would never have happened if the two people met in person somehow before some extended 60 minute or more drinks date.