Why did the person above you dump you?
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I look too innocent0
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her hips didnt fit..0
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She said I ate like a child.
How would I know? Your diary is closed.
He didn't like it when I tried to eat his thighs because they look so delicious.0 -
Because I'm not a cat person0
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I look too innocent
I have been known to change that.0 -
Cus I don't have any tattoos...0
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Because she ALWAYS has gas from her "healthy diet" and denies farting in her sleep so I recorded her nightly explosions and used a lighter to set one aflame as proof, burning down the curtains and the sheets her mother gave us for the wedding.0
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LMAO!!! U promise you wouldn't tell!!!0
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Look, baby, I am trying to prepare the next person who takes you in. It was not easy!! I mean, you killed the parakeet the night we had Chinese takeout AFTER a Mexican lunch!!!0
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Cus I don't have any tattoos...
Nobody is perfect..
JK0 -
Look, baby, I am trying to prepare the next person who takes you in. It was not easy!! I mean, you killed the parakeet the night we had Chinese takeout AFTER a Mexican lunch!!!
LMFAO!!!!
I do miss Skeeter0 -
My chameleon bit her......I think it thought it was going to be lunch.0
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I was fed up with all the Reptiles and Amphibians!0
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She really exploded when my bird pooped in her soda pop.0
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I couldn't stand kissing a frog, totally a turn off, oh and the bird...disappeared0
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She was Horizontal and I Fancied Verticals!0
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Hilarious, the real pic is so vertical, don't know what's up with mfp.
she told me vertical was her thing, it was kinda mutual0 -
She found out my real age and ran screaming.0
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Didn't approve of our age gap!0
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It was time for me to go back to my home planet. She didn't want to go.0
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She wanted me to wake up from my nap on the couch.0
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i refused to lay on the floor with her, the bed was much more comfy!0
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He had hair that wouldn't stay down ^_^ I was jealous0
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She found out I had a collection of stuffed animals in the wardrobe0
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Dunno. Every time I'd ask, I gotta glass of water in the face. :grumble:0
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I didn't like his friends0
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I spilled red wine on her white sofa.
![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
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I wasn't Hot enough0
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I drew googly eyes on her sunglasses.0
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I kept drinking the milk directly from the container.0
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