Most embarrassing thing you're willing to admit

RainRedfield

Let me start by saying I have a seafood allergy that causes things to liquify and travel through my body at high rates of speed.

I was visiting Alaska and decided it would be alright to enjoy a Halibut filet before going deep sea fishing on a speedy little fishing vessel. They didn't bother to let me know the restroom (AKA the "head") wasn't functional. So a short while after our departure (and at a high rate of speed) my body was not happy. Well, the captain was under a time constraint so he wouldn't turn back (he didn't even want to slow down) so I dropped trou and hung off the ladder on the back of the ship and just let loose. Happily, everything cleared myself and the vessel, but I was ever so slightly embarrassed by my rectal pyrotechnics.

sadiebrawl

So, I had just started on a high protein diet........as some of you might have experienced........it gives you terrible stinky gas. I work in a very small office of women and we have what we refer to as the "fart closet" a small little utility where we tend sneak in when we feel like we need to let one rip. Well after spending a big portion of my day either clenching it up or hanging out in the closet, it was finally time to leave, yayyy! I couldn't wait to get in my car and let it all out! The moment i got in my car in was on......it was the most amazing ( and smelly lol) fart i ever experienced! A second later I hear a knock on my window.......the cute doctor down the hall is outside, crap! I waited a moment, hoping the that somehow the smell would go away. He kept looking at me like" what the heck is wrong with this girl?" I finally decided to roll down the window, what else could i do? I was hoping he would keep his distance, but no, he literally leans into my car!! I know he could smell it!!! i was mortified, I still feel embarassed when I see him lol.

you should have laughed and asked if he had a match. :laugh:

guys appreciate fart humor...

hee hee this one made me laugh... i love the walk of shame to my care at the end of the day.... R E L I E F

BrainyBurro

I'm a moderator of an anon community which is considered one of the wrost place on the web.

Everybody knows about it, everybody reads it, but nobody admits they post there.

OaklandRaidersNation.com ??? :huh:

sadiebrawl

I'll add to the poop party. story I have never told anyone except my husband.

I was pregnant and constipated. A winning combo BTW. I was at a baby shower at a hotel. I ate a good amount of food an suddenly started sweating... I knew it was coming.... I had to waddle to the hotel lobby's bathroom because I was scared of using the one in the hall since it had been quite a few days.....

I clogged the toilet. Do you know how hard it is to clog a hotel toilet? Very! It was like the toilet exploded. I just ran back to hall. A few minutes later I heard people yelling outside "close down that bathroom!!!!"

ugh.

ashandstuff

REALLY GROSS:
Back in 6th grade (must have been 11 years old) I started my TOM during class. The class was very long and I was too paranoid to move, so it just...kept...happening.

By the time the class ended there was blood EVERYWHERE.

Everyone saw, and no one helped. My male teacher had no idea what to do. I just walked around the rest of the day with blood soaked pants.

Pretty mortifying for an 11 year old.

veggievixen79

Some of these stories are killing me!

I work for a construction college, teaching English and Math to construction workers in their 20's. One day I put on my favourite pair of skinny work pants and realised that the last time I wore them, the whole butt had split from crotch to waist. I have no idea how much of the lesson I taught with my neon-green thong (along with the rest of my booty) hanging out of those trousers! And the little jerks didn't say a word.....

Needless to say, split trousers = back on MFP, stat!! And I'll be wearing boyshort undies to work for the rest of my life.

missmuse1

I was in college, in a cafe ranting about one of my friends on the Internet when I suddenly realized that friend was silently standing behind me, looking at the screen.

I spun it somehow.

meganjcallaghan

I can only think of things that are completely inappropriate TMI. they shall remain my secrets....you will be spared.

The_Aly_Wei

I'm afraid of balloons. And I have a crush on Optimus Prime and Archer....

I have a crush on Archer too!

BarbellBlondieRuns

I'm afraid that a ghost will grab my ankle from under the bed when I go to sleep at night :indifferent:

Orion782

REALLY GROSS:
Back in 6th grade (must have been 11 years old) I started my TOM during class. The class was very long and I was too paranoid to move, so it just...kept...happening.

By the time the class ended there was blood EVERYWHERE.

Everyone saw, and no one helped. My male teacher had no idea what to do. I just walked around the rest of the day with blood soaked pants.

Pretty mortifying for an 11 year old.

That might be the worst thing. EVER.

jchap389

REALLY GROSS:
Back in 6th grade (must have been 11 years old) I started my TOM during class. The class was very long and I was too paranoid to move, so it just...kept...happening.

By the time the class ended there was blood EVERYWHERE.

Everyone saw, and no one helped. My male teacher had no idea what to do. I just walked around the rest of the day with blood soaked pants.

Pretty mortifying for an 11 year old.

You poor thing. I can't decide if this one wins, or the guy that sh** himself in the gym....

megnay

One time I was so drunk, I peed the bed LOL

BlueBombers

I pee everytime I do jumping jacks ..lol

^ This, but everytime I jump on a trampoline, cough or sneeze.

Ah, love what pregnancy has done to my bladder control.

GC527

If I have to pee in the middle of the night I run to the bathroom and then fly onto my bed upon return to prevent any monsters from grabbing my feet as I am getting in or out of the bed. I know.

BlueBombers

Women will understand the horror of this one....my worst fear ever happened:

When I was in labour with my second son and I was at the start of the "pushing" stage, I crapped all over the delivery table spread eagle right in front of the doctor and nurse. The aroma filled up the room. I just wanted to DIE.

My labour came on so fast that I didn't have a chance to clean myself out prior.

Reedern

When I was a teen we went to Lagoon (the amusement park close by) and while riding one of the rides the spins and squishes you up against the outside edge, I peed myself. I had denim on which as you know stays wet FOREVER. Needless to say the next ride I went on was one that gets you very wet to try to hide it!

KCoolBeanz

I still play Dungeons and Dragons

I also collect Magic Cards...

Although I'm not really embarrassed by all that.

I used to have an awesome blue deck - with Unglued cards. People hated playing with me. :P

crashdolly

These are hilarious!

One that still affects me all the time - including today in the supermarket - I'm scared of mushrooms. I'm ok with the factory farm style closed-cup but anything else creeps me out - even just slightly different. I have been known to scream and run away on opening the fridge to find my husband had put one out of place where I wasn't expecting it.

I have also fallen out of a portaloo drunk at a festival with my trousers down! Luckily I had chosen to wear men's boxers that day and they were firmly up!

The more I think about it, the more ridiculous things I remember!

KeepGoingKylene

I wanted to be Zack Morris and be in the Zack Attack. Friends forever....lol

Awesome! I always wanted to be Kelly lol