Fat people ambassador
Replies
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Ummm... An IQ of 126 wasn't sufficient enough to tell you that you need to consume less calories in order to benefit your life?
IQ tests really are over-rated.
But apparently it DOES enable one to be a bit psychic... They know the skinny people haven't had weight issues and don't understand. (Yeah, I've actually had two "friends" make remarks to me about that...totally dismissing that I have counted calories, boned up on good nutrition facts, AND gotten up extra early nearly every morning to work out the past couple of years.)
That IQ also apparently allows one to "read" a pitiful look. Huh? I have friends of every flavor, color and stripe (including different body shapes), and I'd best learn what a pitiful look "looks like" so that my friends don't act, think or talk about me this way. Oh wait, I guess I wouldn't consider them friends if they did...
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Maybe if I had an IQ of 126 I could know everything about everyone just by looking at them. Does MENSA know about this?
I know many people with super high IQ's like this and it is not abnormal for them to be very disfunctional in certain aspects of their lives.0 -
You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.
If I may address your points...it IS healthy to get the anger out. But directing your anger at another person (or persons) undeservedly is counterproductive and leaves others with the feeling that one is a bit unhinged.
Lots of people live and deal with chronic issues. My husband suffers from an excruciatingly debilitating disease that will take his life. He gets up and goes to work every morning-thankful he has another day with his children and wife. And that he has a job. And a home waiting for him at the end of his day. He is thankful for every stinkin' minute he has. My son also suffers from a painful debilitating disease and was told 2 years ago that he was dying (by a specialist)...again, he goes to work, has graduated university (and is 8 months away from his second bachelors) and is living life until he drops. I am mom and wife-and you don't think I hurt? (Or understand anger?) Some people use chronic illness as their excuse to be miserable, and others seek to find joy and make the most of what they have.
I guarantee if the OP had spoken of her challenges, asked for advice from the fit people (who have lost their weight) instead of making unfounded accusations to the people on MFP that work so hard at being healthy, the responses would have been vastly (and deservedly) different.0 -
You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.
If I may address your points...it IS healthy to get the anger out. But directing your anger at another person (or persons) undeservedly is counterproductive and leaves others with the feeling that one is a bit unhinged.
Lots of people live and deal with chronic issues. My husband suffers from an excruciatingly debilitating disease that will take his life. He gets up and goes to work every morning-thankful he has another day with his children and wife. And that he has a job. And a home waiting for him at the end of his day. He is thankful for every stinkin' minute he has. My son also suffers from a painful debilitating disease and was told 2 years ago that he was dying (by a specialist)...again, he goes to work, has graduated university (and is 8 months away from his second bachelors) and is living life until he drops. I am mom and wife-and you don't think I hurt? (Or understand anger?) Some people use chronic illness as their excuse to be miserable, and others seek to find joy and make the most of what they have.
I guarantee if the OP had spoken of her challenges, asked for advice from the fit people (who have lost their weight) instead of making unfounded accusations to the people on MFP that work so hard at being healthy, the responses would have been vastly (and deservedly) different.
Maybe she didn't want advice, maybe she just wanted to get it out? Get encouragement from people who can relate and have the same issues? I just saw it as a general "**** you", addressing some things that she may go through every day. I don't think she really thought about how it was coming out. Definitely misguided.
Sometimes I've considered myself somewhat of a "fat ambassador". I'm more into body positive things vs. skinny, fat, weight loss, etc. Focused more on active living than losing weight. Hell, losing weight isn't even my main goal just more of a side effect of trying to stay active again. Honestly, this isn't really the right forum for all body positive messages.
I don't see being chronically ill as black and white. It's OK to be angry, and joyful. It's OK to get upset with the situation, the comments, the criticism, AND be thankful that you're here every day regardless of what you're going through.0 -
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Agreed that an IQ is a poor assessment of overall intelligence, so we don't have much to disagree on here.
And yes. I would nominate all of those people as ambassadors. But the OP self-appointing herself and posting a ragey fit that grossly contradicts her overall message (all people deserve to be treated like people, then proceeds to discriminate against "skinny" folk) is what I have a problem with.
We can both agree there ... the ragey fit and discrimination against "skinny" folk is really off-putting. Guess I got my own little bit of nerd-rage there. :ohwell: :blushing:0 -
Everyone has assumptions made about them based on appearance. Everyone.
Everyone has obstacles, tribulation and difficulties to overcome. Everyone.
Everyone has something about their image that they struggle with. Everyone.
Many (not all) fat people really don't seem to recognize that thinner people might be dealing with their SAME issues, or even worse, yet still manage not to handle their problems with food, at least not to a degree that causes obesity.
I was fat most of my life. I can not understate the hatred I had for being fat. Being fat, and for so long, cost me more in life than I care to share, to a heartbreaking degree. The self esteem damage it did, that I did to myself, was astronomical and has taken me years to correct and I'm still a work in progress.
Damn right I was angry. But NEVER at the world. Never at "skinnies". This is a voluntary condition for the overwhelming majority of us. I did this to myself. Most of you did this to yourself. Direct that anger to the proper source and let it fuel you to a healthier body and mind.
so true.. i was angry myself for allowing myself to reach 370 pounds so i did just that i took my anger and let it fuel me. fill me with determination.. just like tonight i didn't feel like going to the gym. i waited till later. was relaxed.. i could have said i dont feel like it, but i dont feel like it wont get me to my goals..so i went and had a kiler workout.
people have to own their choices.. yes there are medical conditions and meds that can increase appetite like the steroids did with me, but i used it as a free for all.. oh the meds are making me hungry so i ate..when i started owning my choices is when i changed my life. people have to take control of their lives noone can do it for them.0 -
You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.
If I may address your points...it IS healthy to get the anger out. But directing your anger at another person (or persons) undeservedly is counterproductive and leaves others with the feeling that one is a bit unhinged.
Lots of people live and deal with chronic issues. My husband suffers from an excruciatingly debilitating disease that will take his life. He gets up and goes to work every morning-thankful he has another day with his children and wife. And that he has a job. And a home waiting for him at the end of his day. He is thankful for every stinkin' minute he has. My son also suffers from a painful debilitating disease and was told 2 years ago that he was dying (by a specialist)...again, he goes to work, has graduated university (and is 8 months away from his second bachelors) and is living life until he drops. I am mom and wife-and you don't think I hurt? (Or understand anger?) Some people use chronic illness as their excuse to be miserable, and others seek to find joy and make the most of what they have.
I guarantee if the OP had spoken of her challenges, asked for advice from the fit people (who have lost their weight) instead of making unfounded accusations to the people on MFP that work so hard at being healthy, the responses would have been vastly (and deservedly) different.
Wow! Thank you for sharing. I just didn't want this to go unnoticed.0 -
8 pages of quoting and re-quoting but... Where is our self proclaimed ambassador gone?0
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8 pages of quoting and re-quoting but... Where is our self proclaimed ambassador gone?
Scared her off, obviously, ha!0 -
8 pages of quoting and re-quoting but... Where is our self proclaimed ambassador gone?
One gander at her posting history shows she barely posts here. Yep, what a great ambassador.0 -
genes have nothing to do with it. Also unless you have some metabolic disorder or a history of eating disorders your metabolism will be in normal bounds . Too many people play the metabolism card when it's just an excuse. I've made excuses in the past and the way I lost weight was I stopped with the excuses and got control of my food and activity.You have my support, Ambassador
I wish I could see all these born skinny smart *kitten* if they had my metabolism. Half of them would be beyond morbidly obese, no disability needed. I envy the genes but they have no right to say anything.
These mythical people who can eat all they want and not exercise are that just a myth like a unicorn
^^^^ this this so much this
my mum is someone that's never had a weight problem in her life, never been on a diet, always been thin....
Well, what are two of her favourite hobbies? gardening and hiking. How did she travel to work each day before she retired? walked 3 miles each way, and took the stairs to her office, not the lift. What are her eating habits? she never ate big meals, got full easily and doesn't like sweets much - she'll have one or two, but not eat any more than that.
She's not genetically blessed, she's simply been in good habits her entire life.
These people who stay thin while living the life of couch potatoes are a myth... "naturally thin" people are either extremely active, or very good at portion control, or both. They may not make any conscious effort to do this to stay thin, they often don't think about their weight at all, they just like being active and don't like eating big meals. But they're not staying thin while eating more food than they burn off.
ETA: also, I have 50% of my genes from my mother, (and my father's not obese either)... well guess what, I got fat in my 20s because I wasn't doing any physical activity and I was eating too much... so I didn't inherit any ability to stay thin while being a couch potato.. when I was a couch potato I got fat. And my mum has never been a couch potato, so she never got fat.
ETA#2: standard disclaimer about genuine medical issues that make people fat when they're eating an amount of calories that shouldn't make them fat... yep... but that only applies to a small number of people... most obese people are obese because they habitually eat more than they burn off.0 -
126 isn't super high, though. It's not even two standard deviations from the mean.I know many people with super high IQ's like this and it is not abnormal for them to be very disfunctional in certain aspects of their lives.
I think we're just dealing with projection, lack of self-awareness, and a profound inability to apply to others the standards she wants applied to herself.0 -
I have decided to become a self-proclaimed 'Fat People Ambassador'. The reason? Some things just frikkin gets to me. I might be a little sensitive, but here follows my explanation...
1. I saw an advert for a weight loss product. There was an outline of a skinny person filled with veggies and an outline of a fat person filled with hamburgers and fries etc. NEWS FLASH***** Not all people are fat because they eat to much. There are hormone problems etc. etc etc. And those who DO eat too much, might not know that they are OR have emotional issues to deal with that other people no nothing about! Ads like these are degrading, uninformed and miss-leading.
2. Skinny people whom have never had a weight issue, should stop pretending to know what us fatties go through on a daily basis PLUS.... Why do skinny people think that fat people are stupid. NEWS FLASH***** I have an IQ of 126 - which is above average. Yes, I am an under-archiever because of some emotional stuff AND weight stopping me from doing what I really am capable of. The fat did not cover my brain though and it did not make me stupid. Guilty skinnies, wake up!
3. I HATE the pittiful glances I sometimes get from people. NEWS FLASH**** I am overweight, not disabled. I have many disabled people in my life, including my mom. We are all people.... Able-bodied, disabled, skinny, fat. IT DOES NOT DEFINE YOU!!!!!!
4. I recently read a VERY disturbing article by KAI that was on Biggest Loser. I always knew it was a crap show, but I am amazed that the trainers are that mean and causing contestants to dehydrate and excersie through injuries. I thought that Jillian Michaels, that used to be fat, would actually be more understanding of what fat people are going though... (She was not on the show when KAI was a contestant, but sure she followed in BOB's footsteps.) - I apologize for this comment if Jillian turns out to be the saint and saviour of fat people on Biggest Loser.
I am dedicating my time - from now on - to destroy myths abouth fat people. I have a mirror, thanks... I know what I look like. I have PCOS and Insulin Resistance and I have already managed to lose 50+ pounds. I am smart. I am funny (sarcastic). I know my current weight is unhealty and I am busy losing it.
What a load of crap.
The time old hormone/medical excuses...these people are in the MINORITY.
If you want to be fat, be fat.
If you want to be slim, be slim.
End of story0 -
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Nice .. waking up on a Saturday to this.0
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126 isn't super high, though. It's not even two standard deviations from the mean.I know many people with super high IQ's like this and it is not abnormal for them to be very disfunctional in certain aspects of their lives.
I think we're just dealing with projection, lack of self-awareness, and a profound inability to apply to others the standards she wants applied to herself.
I agree with both statements. I have a son with a much higher IQ than 126. For the most part...he functions quite well but there are a couple of areas that he struggles with. Fortunately he knows this and works on those areas.
The OP seems a bit disturbed by the stereo type that have been given to overweight people. Yet...she herself has done the same with "skinny" people. Not all people of average or below average weight people are as the OP has described them.
Plus she herself has assigned labels...the very thing that upsets her...by referring to "fat people" and "skinny people". If she truly wants to change the perception of others she might want to start by just calling all of us..."people".
I dislike the term..."fatties".0 -
This could be off topic a bit...I was watching a documentary last night called "Thin"....it was heart wrenching...0
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i started my journey years ago at 370 pounds.. i was diagnosed wuth uc.. put on steroids and i ballooned to 370..doc wanted to operate give me a bag for life.. was it the meds that made me gain weight.. the meds played a factor it made me feel hungry. increasing my appetite..did the meds put me at that high weight alone.. no my choices did. i was 16 . i choose to eat crap.. i choose not to exercise..i choose not to care until one day a 370 pound woman i no longer recognized looked back at me from my mirror.
it wasnt until i got off my *kitten* took responsibility for my actions. started eating healthy.. exercising.. my family calls me a obsessive health nut now.. i exercise 6 days a week.. i hate rest days.. i make all my own foods. i cant eat things that dont work well with my body.so i dont eat anything processed, no dairy, meat, eggs, gluten.. yes im a veg head other than fish and my body loves it.. my uc is now in remission..i eat plant based.. green smoothies love them.. salad my best friend.. nuts, healthy fats..
SIDE effect.. i have tons of energy..my uc is in remission.. i have dropped 204 pounds.. .. 160 i have kept off for years than lost my dad gained weght back.. so i started again in 2013 . went from 250 pounds back to 168 .now im back at 204 pounds released working on my last 31pounds to my goal weight of 135
i have gotten emotional eating under control with a great book called beck diet solution. most would never know i was ever 370 pounds.. you cant judge a book by its cover. skinny people.. or thin people may have issues you dont know about it.. they could be thin and in shape because they put in the work and dedication to shape themselves that way.
so fat people dont need you as a ambassador.. why dont you focus on you.. get your health under control and let others do whats best for them..
im still working on my last 31 pounds, but being healthy, living a long life.. setting a example for others is my motivation.i dont need someone to hold my hand.
i know what to do.. the key is doing it .. everyone really knows how to release weight. its not rocket science so dont think you have the key for them.. they are the key to their own lives.
the love and spirit they have within them to change their life is all they need to motivate them.
I am sorry that you have to take steroids and they do make it hard. However you do have to eat the food to gain the weight. I take prednisone. Some times 1000 MG IV with in 15 min. They make you crazy hungry. I had to learn ways not to give into the desire to eat everything in site. But in order to gain weight I still had to eat the Calories. I am lucky that Iced Coffee helped me to not over eat with the steroids. I will be taking them on and off for the rest of my life. I Hate prednisone!0 -
i started my journey years ago at 370 pounds.. i was diagnosed wuth uc.. put on steroids and i ballooned to 370..doc wanted to operate give me a bag for life.. was it the meds that made me gain weight.. the meds played a factor it made me feel hungry. increasing my appetite..did the meds put me at that high weight alone.. no my choices did. i was 16 . i choose to eat crap.. i choose not to exercise..i choose not to care until one day a 370 pound woman i no longer recognized looked back at me from my mirror.
it wasnt until i got off my *kitten* took responsibility for my actions. started eating healthy.. exercising.. my family calls me a obsessive health nut now.. i exercise 6 days a week.. i hate rest days.. i make all my own foods. i cant eat things that dont work well with my body.so i dont eat anything processed, no dairy, meat, eggs, gluten.. yes im a veg head other than fish and my body loves it.. my uc is now in remission..i eat plant based.. green smoothies love them.. salad my best friend.. nuts, healthy fats..
SIDE effect.. i have tons of energy..my uc is in remission.. i have dropped 204 pounds.. .. 160 i have kept off for years than lost my dad gained weght back.. so i started again in 2013 . went from 250 pounds back to 168 .now im back at 204 pounds released working on my last 31pounds to my goal weight of 135
i have gotten emotional eating under control with a great book called beck diet solution. most would never know i was ever 370 pounds.. you cant judge a book by its cover. skinny people.. or thin people may have issues you dont know about it.. they could be thin and in shape because they put in the work and dedication to shape themselves that way.
so fat people dont need you as a ambassador.. why dont you focus on you.. get your health under control and let others do whats best for them..
im still working on my last 31 pounds, but being healthy, living a long life.. setting a example for others is my motivation.i dont need someone to hold my hand.
i know what to do.. the key is doing it .. everyone really knows how to release weight. its not rocket science so dont think you have the key for them.. they are the key to their own lives.
the love and spirit they have within them to change their life is all they need to motivate them.
I am sorry that you have to take steroids and they do make it hard. However you do have to eat the food to gain the weight. I take prednisone. Some times 1000 MG IV with in 15 min. They make you crazy hungry. I had to learn ways not to give into the desire to eat everything in site. But in order to gain weight I still had to eat the Calories. I am lucky that Iced Coffee helped me to not over eat with the steroids. I will be taking them on and off for the rest of my life. I Hate prednisone!
oh im not on prednisone anymore i am in remission through Gods grace and nutrition, but your right i was 16 and didnt care what i put in my mouth, but i took responsibility for my actions. i have released 204 pounds.. congrats on your 203!! keep up the great work!0 -
Lots of people live and deal with chronic issues. My husband suffers from an excruciatingly debilitating disease that will take his life. He gets up and goes to work every morning-thankful he has another day with his children and wife. And that he has a job. And a home waiting for him at the end of his day. He is thankful for every stinkin' minute he has. My son also suffers from a painful debilitating disease and was told 2 years ago that he was dying (by a specialist)...again, he goes to work, has graduated university (and is 8 months away from his second bachelors) and is living life until he drops. I am mom and wife-and you don't think I hurt? (Or understand anger?) Some people use chronic illness as their excuse to be miserable, and others seek to find joy and make the most of what they have.
I agree with your post, but I mainly just wanted to say that I'm so sorry that your family struggles with such an unbelievably hard situation, that was heartbreaking to read; your husband, son and yourself are very brave, selfless people. I have no words strong enough for how much I admire you all.0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
*stands up and applauds*
OP, you did a great thing, just now.
I'm sorry you are in pain, and I how that things will turn around for you. This site has a lot of people who have run the gambit of weight loss experience... And while a lot of them may he blunt, the majority do care about seeing you achieve your goals!
Connect with some of them. Look to them for guidance, and support. You've GOT this!0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
*stands up and applauds*
OP, you did a great thing, just now.
I'm sorry you are in pain, and I how that things will turn around for you. This site has a lot of people who have run the gambit of weight loss experience... And while a lot of them may he blunt, the majority do care about seeing you achieve your goals!
Connect with some of them. Look to them for guidance, and support. You've GOT this!
I couldn't agree more.
You can do it, OP. Don't let the negative hold you down and just do you!0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
You get some serious points in my book, whatever that's worth, for your brutally honest self awareness. A lot of people couldn't have written this post and copped to those feelings.
An attitude like this puts you closer toward the front of the pack of people who can conquer this thing, because obesity and delusion are often partners in crime.0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
Welcome back! I know you got a lot of advice. And I don't know what helps or doesn't for you. But I wanted to share something with you that I've learned. I used to think "Oh, I never get angry." But I do. I get very angry at *kitten* and jerks and, in particular, people with double standards. But I realized what I do is I don't rant, I don't kvetch. I channel that anger into determination and tenacity. It's almost like everything that makes me angry gets translated in my mind into a new challenge.
Jerk at the grocery story is insensitive about what's in my cart? That's a challenge for me to build tougher skin and be the "bigger person".
Completely ludicrous advertising or reality shows raising my ire? That's a challenge for me to watch less TV.
Family insensitivity/ignorance? That's a challenge for me to educate them on tolerance.
Anger is fine. Just focus it into productive activities that help you become a better, more tolerant, healthier citizen who contributes to the well being of society.0 -
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Thanks....
Hi OP - I Applaud you because you are introspective and you have the tools, the intellect, and I feel the guts to succeed.
Your comment about the IQ thing.
My father was really really smart, a member of Mensa, extremely well read, cultured, razor sharp wit. But he had some really messed ideas about health and fitness. He thought that because he read a lot of books people should see through the exterior and idolize him. He felt it was almost "beneath him" to stoop to the pedestrian levels of health and fitness - that was for only vapid shallow people.
He got diabetes, CPD, and a whole host of other weight related issues and died relatively early in his sixties.
His best friend told him very harshly once "Who gives a damn if you are this and that in the brains department when you can't master your own body and health!"
Good luck to you - and once again I applaud you on your post!
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I'm just gonna say this.
The worst thing you can do when trying to lose weight is be hyper-sensitive about things. You're gonna get comments you hate. You're gonna read things you don't like. You're going to hate other people and yourself on a regular basis.
If you get fired up about something, good, you're supposed to. But ranting is a waste of energy. Save it for the gym.
^^^ 100%
I definetly agree with this guy! Use all that pent up anger and sadness as fuel to help you acheive your goals. I not saying keep it in and get over it. No! What I am saying is that its okay to cry and get mad, but don't stay that way...Don't dwell in that dark place. It does no good and actually, in the long run, makes your situation worse. Prove the naysayers wrong!!!0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
*stands up and applauds*
OP, you did a great thing, just now.
I'm sorry you are in pain, and I how that things will turn around for you. This site has a lot of people who have run the gambit of weight loss experience... And while a lot of them may he blunt, the majority do care about seeing you achieve your goals!
Connect with some of them. Look to them for guidance, and support. You've GOT this!
+fiddy0 -
Wow, a thread where the OP took the time to listen to the community and learn from it rather than to come back more combative than ever? Virtually unheard of!
OP: :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm just gonna say this.
The worst thing you can do when trying to lose weight is be hyper-sensitive about things. You're gonna get comments you hate. You're gonna read things you don't like. You're going to hate other people and yourself on a regular basis.
If you get fired up about something, good, you're supposed to. But ranting is a waste of energy. Save it for the gym.
Good answer Brett.0
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