Fat people ambassador
Replies
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Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
*stands up and applauds*
OP, you did a great thing, just now.
I'm sorry you are in pain, and I how that things will turn around for you. This site has a lot of people who have run the gambit of weight loss experience... And while a lot of them may he blunt, the majority do care about seeing you achieve your goals!
Connect with some of them. Look to them for guidance, and support. You've GOT this!
+fiddy
Dude, Way to be accoutable. That's AWESOME! I love open minds and you are cool in my book!0 -
You think thats bad, imagine if you logged into a dating site and got this message
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Wow, a thread where the OP took the time to listen to the community and learn from it rather than to come back more combative than ever? Virtually unheard of!
OP: :flowerforyou:
The OP is going to make it! You GO OP!
(No I did not write "You Goop" :laugh: ) 0 -
I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
It's interesting that you brought up jealousy, because I often get scathing looks from heavy people, comments like "it must be so nice to be skinny" as if this was the body I was born with. I've had to work damn hard...wait, correction, I WORK DAMN HARD to look this way. I've lost 52lbs this year. You really need to put jealousy behind you and just move forward with your own goals.
In your original post you brought up how people stare at you with pity (or obese people with pity) and you're right. I do that sometimes, (not the staring part, but the pitying part). I know how hard it was to lose the weight and I can't help but think about how much longer and harder the struggle will be when someone is starting from morbidly obese. So it's not that I necessarily pity the person, but I do pity the situation.
I will make one other comment about stereotyping that may not be well received, but whatever, going for it; last weekend I was grabbing groceries at the local Walmart and as I'm standing in line STARVING I thought to myself, why not hit the McD's right there and grab some lunch. As I stood waiting for the teller to finish I look over at McD's to see how busy it was and all I saw were overweight people....I know, that's probably not a fair thing to say, but it was enough to make me not want to go in there and eat. Now i'm not saying that all obese people eat McDonald's, but when you become conscious of everything you eat and start tracking your food and changing your eating habits you become more aware of all the contributing factors to your weight gain.
So in general, be careful what you say about thin people because one day it will be a cross you to will have to bear!
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Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
If I was handicapping your odds of success, this post just shortened them significantly. Well done.
Best of luck. :flowerforyou:0 -
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
You certainly came off as a clever person by your response to the feedback. You read and reflected and did an inventory and picked up what worked for you and what didn't. That is smart. A wise person will continue taking in knowledge. (I didn't come up with that saying).
You are right. Being overweight is not a sign of being an intellectual slouch. Just like with thin people, there are the geniuses and... (thinking of a nice word for it...) not so smart.
I am past shaming, blaming, and criticism myself or others. People are doing the best they can. I like what Maya Angelou put so well, "We do better when we know better." In fact, many who shame people think they are doing them a favor. (then there are also self serving bullies) But really, it is all wrong.
I thank you for your O.P. good job putting it out there. Not a mistake by any means.0 -
Thanks for coming back, OP.
Great follow up post.0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
*stands up and applauds*
OP, you did a great thing, just now.
I'm sorry you are in pain, and I how that things will turn around for you. This site has a lot of people who have run the gambit of weight loss experience... And while a lot of them may he blunt, the majority do care about seeing you achieve your goals!
Connect with some of them. Look to them for guidance, and support. You've GOT this!
^^This.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Awesome...thanks for saying it!!!0
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Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
Huh well I have to say I am pleasently suprised. Cheers OP and best of luck. We all have our rough days, understood completely. The fact that this is your response to a lot of harsh critisisms of your original post speaks loads for your character and gives me faith that you are going to do alright in whatever you set your mind to.0 -
Wow, a thread where the OP took the time to listen to the community and learn from it rather than to come back more combative than ever? Virtually unheard of!
OP: :flowerforyou:
The OP is going to make it! You GO OP! (No I did not write "You Goop" :laugh: )
+1 :flowerforyou:0 -
Not all people are fat because they eat to much.
The ONLY way to get fat is to eat too much.0 -
OP - so glad to see you come back and respond. Like many of the others, I have to applaud you for being able to take all of the feedback (some of it even a bit harsh) and see where you can change and improve. That kind of attitude will get you far.
Don't give up on yourself, you can do this!0 -
1. you might try watching less tv.
2. i am a skinny person who has never had a weight issue. i did, however, trash my health with inactivity for 10 years, compounding my chronic fibromyalgia pain and depression to the point that i tried to kill myself. so i can totally relate to anyone who has trashed their health with inactivity. i'm, like, the queen of that.
3. NEWSFLASH**** human beings are turds, and not just to 'fatties'. it used to bother me when people looked at me pityingly years ago when i was hobbling around with a cane, disabled. people are still looking at me pityingly, because i'm too skinny or boobless or my hair's too short or whatever. I've since filled my life with so many satifying things that need my fvcks that i have no fvcks left over for any stupid crap, period.
4. see #1
5. nicely done OP! :flowerforyou::flowerforyou: i'm late to the party, as usual :blushing:0 -
not sure what I have missed...0
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:flowerforyou:0
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Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
If I was handicapping your odds of success, this post just shortened them significantly. Well done.
Best of luck. :flowerforyou:
^ This. Pretty awesome of you, OP. The mind is the first thing you have to change in order to successfully lose weight and it sounds like you're well on your way there.0 -
Takes a lot to read through a thread like this and admit that you may need to change your mindset. Kudos, OP. :flowerforyou:0
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Takes a lot to read through a thread like this and admit that you may need to change your mindset. Kudos, OP. :flowerforyou:
Exactly.
This was a really great outcome.
(I am also surprised that people aren't coming in and commenting on the OP without seeing the follow up)0 -
Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
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Lady I appreciate the sentiment I really do. To be honest i agree with a lot of what both you say and the people who oppose you say. As in many cases in life no one is completely wrong or right.
Personally for me yes I got fat because I was lazy. And I was gluttonous. But where people make their mistakes is they don't look beyond that. People need a reason to care about themselves and about how others see them and about their health strength and longevity.
I had stopped caring. Oh I wasn't suicidal I didn't want to die. But I begrudged every ounce of work I was forced to put into the society of humans. That I considered a stinking cesspool of violence hatred and vapid self absorption. I had kind of a rough start in life and by the time the good bits of humanity came along I had become so jaded that all I saw by then was deception.
It is also true that cruel and ignorant people shame fat people into continuing to feel this way. It can be soul destroying to have complete strangers stop to call you names. And believe me that does sometimes happen. Fat people are also accuteley aware of how they are perceived as lazy and gluttonous. And while this assessment is usually true we resent that people judge us it. When more often than not a more complicated and painful story is behind someones condition.
This often makes being fat into a vicious cycle. We had already separated ourselves from people on some level and how people treat us serves to further separate us. Hell I even used to eat out of resentment to thin people. I would think while stuffing my face with food. So THERE thin people all you idiots counting your calories and running on your treadmills I can do what you can't! Our need to prop up our own self esteem sinks that low that we are prepared to accept any pathetic victory our minds can come up with. Even false ones.
There are also people who just plain love food and don't care what people think about it. I don't think this is a bad choice to make as long as you are prepared to live with the consequences of your actions. Just like smoking ... or mountain climbing for that matter. You make your decision to do something dangerous because it's what makes you happy in life. This totally valid choice however is not acknowledged by most people. They confuse a love of food with an inability to stop eating. Some people just don't want to. They know they are fat. They just don't care. Of course it comes with drawbacks but these individuals accept them as the price to be paid. These individuals however do not account for the majority of the obese. And finally there are a small amount of people that really do just have zero self control. They do exist. But if you look at how fat people are treated you would think that almost all fat people fall into this demographic. When in fact I believe they account for very few obese individuals.
So yeah people here are right in they say that fat people usually don't get that way because they want to. They over eat and it happens. But I would be very interested in seeing some real studies on the correlation between obesity and childhood trauma or bullying. Food is a readily and easily available coping mechanism soothing emotional pain long before drugs are attainable. And for many this is what they end up with for the rest of their lives. A guilty pleasure to mask their absolute lack of any interest or faith in the human race entirely.
And I am not saying just fat people have it rough. A Kid can easily go the other way how many cases of anorexia originate from a desperate need to be acceptably thin? Which in the end is also the result of bullying and trauma by playground friends or even family members.
Edit : :Lol I was typing all of that then the OP came around herself. Well bloody done. And remember people probably aren't as bad as you think they are.0 -
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Here I am... The OP. Took me a while to read all the comments. This is what I have learned... Fat people ambassador - bad career move as there are few people around that actually need my services. (Really, I am the only one that needs my services).
First of all, thank you for all the comments - harsh, supportive, on the fence..... I appreciate the input. Yes, I am over sensitive because I am very bitter. Generally, I am a very happy person, but recently a bunch of (irrelevant) events rubbed me the wrong way - maybe because I feel guilty or maybe because I am sick of feeling like an inferior being. And yes, feeling inferior is also a choice. I don't think for one moment that shinny people don't have issues, I know they do. I accept that jealousy probably came into play here.... Life just seems so muck easier for people that do not constantly struggle with weight. Yes, I am guilty of stereotyping.
The point I was trying to make with IQ, is that I am not stupid, BUT fat. I have people in my life treating me as if I did not have a brain at all. It infuriates me!
Yes, my original post was in many ways unfair and I did not realise that I was telling the world that I'd rather be a victim than fight, that I'd rather make excuses than work hard. This is not who I am and I need to prove that to myself. I still believe that some assumptions are a bit unfair and that some comments are mean. What I feel one day, might not be what I feel the next.
Basically, so I am tought by you (people I do not know from a bar of soap) where I am to adjust my way of thinking and to take responsibility.
Thanks....
Wow, I'm impressed. Please know that in most of these responses, it was tough love. I definitely did not anticipate this kind of response, but it is very mature, well thought out, and reasonable.
I've been there, spouted off after I've had enough without truly thinking it through. You said what you needed to get out and it was good for you.
I'm glad you feel better, OP. And I'm glad that this turned out to be a learning experience.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I know where this is from! (that never happens) ... awww, now I got distracted and can't remember why I was here. *sigh*0 -
I'm going to honest, this ended much more gracefully than I expected it to.0
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Well done. Thanks for coming back and not deactivating your account or starting a thread about how everyone sucks. This was classy and really says a lot about who you are. Don't give up. It's a hard, hard battle. I have faith in you, though.0 -
I have decided to become a self-proclaimed 'Fat People Ambassador'. The reason? Some things just frikkin gets to me. I might be a little sensitive, but here follows my explanation...
1. I saw an advert for a weight loss product. There was an outline of a skinny person filled with veggies and an outline of a fat person filled with hamburgers and fries etc. NEWS FLASH***** Not all people are fat because they eat to much. There are hormone problems etc. etc etc. And those who DO eat too much, might not know that they are OR have emotional issues to deal with that other people no nothing about! Ads like these are degrading, uninformed and miss-leading.
2. Skinny people whom have never had a weight issue, should stop pretending to know what us fatties go through on a daily basis PLUS.... Why do skinny people think that fat people are stupid. NEWS FLASH***** I have an IQ of 126 - which is above average. Yes, I am an under-archiever because of some emotional stuff AND weight stopping me from doing what I really am capable of. The fat did not cover my brain though and it did not make me stupid. Guilty skinnies, wake up!
3. I HATE the pittiful glances I sometimes get from people. NEWS FLASH**** I am overweight, not disabled. I have many disabled people in my life, including my mom. We are all people.... Able-bodied, disabled, skinny, fat. IT DOES NOT DEFINE YOU!!!!!!
4. I recently read a VERY disturbing article by KAI that was on Biggest Loser. I always knew it was a crap show, but I am amazed that the trainers are that mean and causing contestants to dehydrate and excersie through injuries. I thought that Jillian Michaels, that used to be fat, would actually be more understanding of what fat people are going though... (She was not on the show when KAI was a contestant, but sure she followed in BOB's footsteps.) - I apologize for this comment if Jillian turns out to be the saint and saviour of fat people on Biggest Loser.
I am dedicating my time - from now on - to destroy myths abouth fat people. I have a mirror, thanks... I know what I look like. I have PCOS and Insulin Resistance and I have already managed to lose 50+ pounds. I am smart. I am funny (sarcastic). I know my current weight is unhealty and I am busy losing it.
You have too much time on your hands, hope you received the kind of attention you were looking for with this post.0 -
Takes a lot to read through a thread like this and admit that you may need to change your mindset. Kudos, OP. :flowerforyou:
Yes, I agree! ♡0 -
You know what OP, you're pretty alright. If you've learned nothing else from this thread, I hope you now know that assuming that all "skinnies" are "naturally" so is extremely unfair and you'll stop doing that forever.
But to be honest: I saw this thread back in the first page and thought it was going to be a drama bomb. Kinda disappointed.0 -
I was fat most of my life. I can not understate the hatred I had for being fat. Being fat, and for so long, cost me more in life than I care to share, to a heartbreaking degree. The self esteem damage it did, that I did to myself, was astronomical and has taken me years to correct and I'm still a work in progress.
Damn right I was angry. But NEVER at the world. Never at "skinnies". This is a voluntary condition for the overwhelming majority of us. I did this to myself. Most of you did this to yourself. Direct that anger to the proper source and let it fuel you to a healthier body and mind.
You, sir, articulated something I have never been able to put into words. Thank you.0
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