Fat people ambassador

FitnFeistyLyness

most would never know i was ever 370 pounds.. you cant judge a book by its cover. skinny people.. or thin people may have issues you dont know about it.. they could be thin and in shape because they put in the work and dedication to shape themselves that way.

First off your entire post was incredible. A very motivational and inspiring journey you've had.

I wanted to single this out for it's utter truth. You really can not judge a book by it's cover. When I was fat I was one of those people who "carried their weight well". I SEEMED confident in my skin and the rare time I would mention to anybody that I wanted to lose weight they would look surprised and say something along the lines of "Why? I can't even see you skinny. You look great".

I lost a load of weight in the past and again now. And people who know me now don't have any idea that I was once clinically obese, over 300 lbs. Without fail every single reaction upon finding out is "What?! I can't even picture you fat!". They had no clue. You just often have no clue where people are coming from.

ty!.. wow looks like we both started over 300 and both have 30 some pounds left!! lets finish this together! i know what you mean when i show people my before pics they are like no way thats you.. not anymore that woman is gone, but im glad she loved herself enough to change to help me become the person i am now.

fattymcrunnerpants

You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.

shmerek

I hear where you're coming from. I do. But I want to submit to you, for your consideration, this:

What if I told you that a lot/many of the "skinny" people you see also have thyroid and other hormone issues, also battle depression, also have injuries that limit them. Knowing that they fight the same emotional battle as you every day, would you see them differently?

Interdasting isn't it?

It's a common narrative. I was fat because I got injured, I got sick, I had a thyroid problem, I was depressed, I was anxious, I lost a loved one, I was dealing with stuff nobody understands, etc, etc, etc.

As if all thinner people are just coasting around life dealing with nothing. No, some people deal with those difficulties...they just don't consistently eat above their TDEE while doing so.

^^ THIS

SunofaBeach14

You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.

Why are you angry? Did every single skinny person on the planet really do something to you, or are you upset because you want so badly to be skinny that your view of them has morphed into one of oppressor? Do tell us why you are angry and why it's acceptable to lash out at strangers.

3dogsrunning

You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.

MFP does have a blog section. It would likely be a better place for that kind of venting. When you post stuff on the public forums, you are inviting people to comment freely. A public blog would also leave you open to this, but you would likely get fewer responses.

I also don't think that getting feedback on this, particularly the negative feedback is a bad thing. Perhaps some of the points made will cause OP to reflect a little and help come to terms with/understand the anger and deal with it.

SteampunkSongbird

is this real life right now??

fattymcrunnerpants

You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.

Why are you angry? Did every single skinny person on the planet really do something to you, or are you upset because you want so badly to be skinny that your view of them has morphed into one of oppressor? Do tell us why you are angry and why it's acceptable to lash out at strangers.

Nah, 'I'm not generally an angry person. But I do get frustrated. It's a really long and boring story, honestly. I think her anger is somewhat misdirected, but I think it's OK for it to be there. I think if we empowered people to feel better about themselves you will empower them to take care of themselves. If you hate yourself, you're less likely to make good choices about what you do. You're more likely to be sitting on the couch *****ing about the world than doing something.

I have some chronic illnesses and am in pain every.single.day. Moving hurts. I can't even sit on the ground because I'll need someone to pull me up. Far cry from the woman I was a year ago when I pulled myself out of a truck full of ice then proceeded to run several miles covered in mud, sweat, and some icky green stuff. I think I'm allowed to be angry about that. When I experience those feelings, though, it's not directed at a group of people. Just at the universe in general. Although I think I'm allowed to be angry when I walk into a movie theater with a bucket of popcorn and someone says "Wow, look at her, that's a lot of popcorn! That's why she's so big! What a fat *kitten*" (this happened today). So I guess in some ways it can be directed at a person or situation. I have no wish to be skinny. I have a wish to be healthy, active, and feeling great. Especially in the last year it's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel. No way out. And then I've said "screw it, I know I'll have a massive flare up but I'm going to lace up my shoes and go for a run anyway, even if I won't be able to walk without a limp the rest of the day". It's really hard to describe.

fattymcrunnerpants

You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.

MFP does have a blog section. It would likely be a better place for that kind of venting. When you post stuff on the public forums, you are inviting people to comment freely. A public blog would also leave you open to this, but you would likely get fewer responses.

I also don't think that getting feedback on this, particularly the negative feedback is a bad thing. Perhaps some of the points made will cause OP to reflect a little and help come to terms with/understand the anger and deal with it.

Maybe she thought she would get some encouragement? Although anyone who's been on MFP for even a nano second would know that posts like this generally end badly. My blog is generally where I let it out but maybe she didn't know there's a blog section? IDK, I don't have an insight into her head LOL.

riirii93_

lol SIT DOWN.

SunofaBeach14

You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.

Why are you angry? Did every single skinny person on the planet really do something to you, or are you upset because you want so badly to be skinny that your view of them has morphed into one of oppressor? Do tell us why you are angry and why it's acceptable to lash out at strangers.

Nah, 'I'm not generally an angry person. But I do get frustrated. It's a really long and boring story, honestly. I think her anger is somewhat misdirected, but I think it's OK for it to be there. I think if we empowered people to feel better about themselves you will empower them to take care of themselves. If you hate yourself, you're less likely to make good choices about what you do. You're more likely to be sitting on the couch *****ing about the world than doing something.

I have some chronic illnesses and am in pain every.single.day. Moving hurts. I can't even sit on the ground because I'll need someone to pull me up. Far cry from the woman I was a year ago when I pulled myself out of a truck full of ice then proceeded to run several miles covered in mud, sweat, and some icky green stuff. I think I'm allowed to be angry about that. When I experience those feelings, though, it's not directed at a group of people. Just at the universe in general. Although I think I'm allowed to be angry when I walk into a movie theater with a bucket of popcorn and someone says "Wow, look at her, that's a lot of popcorn! That's why she's so big! What a fat *kitten*" (this happened today). So I guess in some ways it can be directed at a person or situation. I have no wish to be skinny. I have a wish to be healthy, active, and feeling great. Especially in the last year it's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel. No way out. And then I've said "screw it, I know I'll have a massive flare up but I'm going to lace up my shoes and go for a run anyway, even if I won't be able to walk without a limp the rest of the day". It's really hard to describe.

Getting angry at one's situation seems pretty normal to me. Lashing out at random strangers is no more justified though than the insensitive comment by that *kitten* in the movie theater. We all have problems. How we deal with them is what matters.

fattymcrunnerpants

You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.

Why are you angry? Did every single skinny person on the planet really do something to you, or are you upset because you want so badly to be skinny that your view of them has morphed into one of oppressor? Do tell us why you are angry and why it's acceptable to lash out at strangers.

Nah, 'I'm not generally an angry person. But I do get frustrated. It's a really long and boring story, honestly. I think her anger is somewhat misdirected, but I think it's OK for it to be there. I think if we empowered people to feel better about themselves you will empower them to take care of themselves. If you hate yourself, you're less likely to make good choices about what you do. You're more likely to be sitting on the couch *****ing about the world than doing something.

I have some chronic illnesses and am in pain every.single.day. Moving hurts. I can't even sit on the ground because I'll need someone to pull me up. Far cry from the woman I was a year ago when I pulled myself out of a truck full of ice then proceeded to run several miles covered in mud, sweat, and some icky green stuff. I think I'm allowed to be angry about that. When I experience those feelings, though, it's not directed at a group of people. Just at the universe in general. Although I think I'm allowed to be angry when I walk into a movie theater with a bucket of popcorn and someone says "Wow, look at her, that's a lot of popcorn! That's why she's so big! What a fat *kitten*" (this happened today). So I guess in some ways it can be directed at a person or situation. I have no wish to be skinny. I have a wish to be healthy, active, and feeling great. Especially in the last year it's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel. No way out. And then I've said "screw it, I know I'll have a massive flare up but I'm going to lace up my shoes and go for a run anyway, even if I won't be able to walk without a limp the rest of the day". It's really hard to describe.

Getting angry at one's situation seems pretty normal to me. Lashing out at random strangers is no more justified though than the insensitive comment by that *kitten* in the movie theater. We all have problems. How we deal with them is what matters.

But criticizing her is really no better, IMO. To me I can see that she has trouble placing her anger. Especially in a society that is notoriously unfriendly to fatties. I don't necessarily see this post as directed to anyone in particular, just a general "**** you society".

BinaryPulsar

You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.

Why are you angry? Did every single skinny person on the planet really do something to you, or are you upset because you want so badly to be skinny that your view of them has morphed into one of oppressor? Do tell us why you are angry and why it's acceptable to lash out at strangers.

Nah, 'I'm not generally an angry person. But I do get frustrated. It's a really long and boring story, honestly. I think her anger is somewhat misdirected, but I think it's OK for it to be there. I think if we empowered people to feel better about themselves you will empower them to take care of themselves. If you hate yourself, you're less likely to make good choices about what you do. You're more likely to be sitting on the couch *****ing about the world than doing something.

I have some chronic illnesses and am in pain every.single.day. Moving hurts. I can't even sit on the ground because I'll need someone to pull me up. Far cry from the woman I was a year ago when I pulled myself out of a truck full of ice then proceeded to run several miles covered in mud, sweat, and some icky green stuff. I think I'm allowed to be angry about that. When I experience those feelings, though, it's not directed at a group of people. Just at the universe in general. Although I think I'm allowed to be angry when I walk into a movie theater with a bucket of popcorn and someone says "Wow, look at her, that's a lot of popcorn! That's why she's so big! What a fat *kitten*" (this happened today). So I guess in some ways it can be directed at a person or situation. I have no wish to be skinny. I have a wish to be healthy, active, and feeling great. Especially in the last year it's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel. No way out. And then I've said "screw it, I know I'll have a massive flare up but I'm going to lace up my shoes and go for a run anyway, even if I won't be able to walk without a limp the rest of the day". It's really hard to describe.

Getting angry at one's situation seems pretty normal to me. Lashing out at random strangers is no more justified though than the insensitive comment by that *kitten* in the movie theater. We all have problems. How we deal with them is what matters.

:flowerforyou: For both of you

SunofaBeach14

You know, I think it's healthy to get the anger out. I really think that what this post was all about. It can be infuriating to be trying and keep getting set back. To live with Chronic issues. But no one wants to hear bout that. We're all supposed to be happy little calorie counting, gym going machines. No emotions allowed! Anger is a perfectly acceptable way of being in the process of changing, imo.

Why are you angry? Did every single skinny person on the planet really do something to you, or are you upset because you want so badly to be skinny that your view of them has morphed into one of oppressor? Do tell us why you are angry and why it's acceptable to lash out at strangers.

Nah, 'I'm not generally an angry person. But I do get frustrated. It's a really long and boring story, honestly. I think her anger is somewhat misdirected, but I think it's OK for it to be there. I think if we empowered people to feel better about themselves you will empower them to take care of themselves. If you hate yourself, you're less likely to make good choices about what you do. You're more likely to be sitting on the couch *****ing about the world than doing something.

I have some chronic illnesses and am in pain every.single.day. Moving hurts. I can't even sit on the ground because I'll need someone to pull me up. Far cry from the woman I was a year ago when I pulled myself out of a truck full of ice then proceeded to run several miles covered in mud, sweat, and some icky green stuff. I think I'm allowed to be angry about that. When I experience those feelings, though, it's not directed at a group of people. Just at the universe in general. Although I think I'm allowed to be angry when I walk into a movie theater with a bucket of popcorn and someone says "Wow, look at her, that's a lot of popcorn! That's why she's so big! What a fat *kitten*" (this happened today). So I guess in some ways it can be directed at a person or situation. I have no wish to be skinny. I have a wish to be healthy, active, and feeling great. Especially in the last year it's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel. No way out. And then I've said "screw it, I know I'll have a massive flare up but I'm going to lace up my shoes and go for a run anyway, even if I won't be able to walk without a limp the rest of the day". It's really hard to describe.

Getting angry at one's situation seems pretty normal to me. Lashing out at random strangers is no more justified though than the insensitive comment by that *kitten* in the movie theater. We all have problems. How we deal with them is what matters.

But criticizing her is really no better, IMO. To me I can see that she has trouble placing her anger. Especially in a society that is notoriously unfriendly to fatties. I don't necessarily see this post as directed to anyone in particular, just a general "**** you society".

I'm not so sure it's so general. I could be wrong, but it came off as pretty directed at a certain group of people. I also think "society" can be pretty ****ty to everyone. Case in point: my wife went to grocery store last night and bought donuts (for our kids*), beer (for me), and ice cream (so she could measure out her 1/2 cup serving), and while standing in line a rather large woman quite literally started yelling at her about "how can you eat that and still be skinny" as the woman was loading her groceries onto the checkout conveyer. Was that society or some random *kitten* being a *kitten*?

* Okay, okay, I may also have eaten a donut.

fattymcrunnerpants

I'm not so sure it's so general. I could be wrong, but it came off as pretty directed at a certain group of people. I also think "society" can be pretty ****ty to everyone. Case in point: my wife went to grocery store last night and bought donuts (for our kids*), beer (for me), and ice cream (so she could measure out her 1/2 cup serving), and while standing in line a rather large woman quite literally started yelling at her about "how can you eat that and still be skinny" as the woman was loading her groceries onto the checkout conveyer. Was that society or some random *kitten* being a *kitten*?

* Okay, okay, I may also have eaten a donut.

IDK, I just read it that way. Sometimes we can be so caught up in whatever anger we're feeling it comes out wrong. Yep, society is pretty ****ty to everyone. At least, for me, though I've noticed it's extra crappy when you don't fit into the mold. For example, unless you go to one of the few shops that cater to bigger people, you're relegated to the back of the store with some of the ugliest clothes ever in a space that takes up a small closet. Hard to feel good about yourself when even the store hates you LMAO.

SunofaBeach14

I'm not so sure it's so general. I could be wrong, but it came off as pretty directed at a certain group of people. I also think "society" can be pretty ****ty to everyone. Case in point: my wife went to grocery store last night and bought donuts (for our kids*), beer (for me), and ice cream (so she could measure out her 1/2 cup serving), and while standing in line a rather large woman quite literally started yelling at her about "how can you eat that and still be skinny" as the woman was loading her groceries onto the checkout conveyer. Was that society or some random *kitten* being a *kitten*?

* Okay, okay, I may also have eaten a donut.

IDK, I just read it that way. Sometimes we can be so caught up in whatever anger we're feeling it comes out wrong. Yep, society is pretty ****ty to everyone. At least, for me, though I've noticed it's extra crappy when you don't fit into the mold. For example, unless you go to one of the few shops that cater to bigger people, you're relegated to the back of the store with some of the ugliest clothes ever in a space that takes up a small closet. Hard to feel good about yourself when even the store hates you LMAO.

The bolded part I agree with it. The fact that the OP's anger came out wrong has been pointed out. Hopefully, she'll find a way to direct it in more productive way. As for the mold, I'm still not entirely sure what that entails but I do know that many people see themselves as not fitting it, which leads me to believe that self esteem is part of the problem. I also know plenty of confident overweight people who are quite happy with their lives. On the other hand, I don't think someone who is overweight and angry is going to suddenly become happy when he/she loses weight.

Iwishyouwell

Everyone has assumptions made about them based on appearance. Everyone.
Everyone has obstacles, tribulation and difficulties to overcome. Everyone.
Everyone has something about their image that they struggle with. Everyone.

Many (not all) fat people really don't seem to recognize that thinner people might be dealing with their SAME issues, or even worse, yet still manage not to handle their problems with food, at least not to a degree that causes obesity.

I was fat most of my life. I can not understate the hatred I had for being fat. Being fat, and for so long, cost me more in life than I care to share, to a heartbreaking degree. The self esteem damage it did, that I did to myself, was astronomical and has taken me years to correct and I'm still a work in progress.

Damn right I was angry. But NEVER at the world. Never at "skinnies". This is a voluntary condition for the overwhelming majority of us. I did this to myself. Most of you did this to yourself. Direct that anger to the proper source and let it fuel you to a healthier body and mind.

BinaryPulsar

Everyone has assumptions made about them based on appearance. Everyone.
Everyone has obstacles, tribulation and difficulties to overcome. Everyone.
Everyone has something about their image that they struggle with. Everyone.

Many (not all) fat people really don't seem to recognize that thinner people might be dealing with their SAME issues, or even worse, yet still manage not to handle their problems with food, at least not to a degree that causes obesity.

I was fat most of my life. I can not understate the hatred I had for being fat. Being fat, and for so long, cost me more in life than I care to share, to a heartbreaking degree. The self esteem damage it did, that I did to myself, was astronomical and has taken me years to correct and I'm still a work in progress.

Damn right I was angry. But NEVER at the world. Never at "skinnies". This is a voluntary condition for the overwhelming majority of us. I did this to myself. Most of you did this to yourself. Direct that anger to the proper source and let it fuel you to a healthier body and mind.

Hearts_2015

Everyone has assumptions made about them based on appearance. Everyone.
Everyone has obstacles, tribulation and difficulties to overcome. Everyone.
Everyone has something about their image that they struggle with. Everyone.

Many (not all) fat people really don't seem to recognize that thinner people might be dealing with their SAME issues, or even worse, yet still manage not to handle their problems with food, at least not to a degree that causes obesity.

I was fat most of my life. I can not understate the hatred I had for being fat. Being fat, and for so long, cost me more in life than I care to share, to a heartbreaking degree. The self esteem damage it did, that I did to myself, was astronomical and has taken me years to correct and I'm still a work in progress.

Damn right I was angry. But NEVER at the world. Never at "skinnies". This is a voluntary condition for the overwhelming majority of us. I did this to myself. Most of you did this to yourself. Direct that anger to the proper source and let it fuel you to a healthier body and mind.

nicely written

AsaThorsWoman

Ditch the excuses and stop looking at as fat vs skinny, as if that's the only two things a person can be.

That's right.

The only person worth comparing yourself too is who you were yesterday.

And ditch media.

I've been quite content with no television in my home for over two years now.

You'd think all those sexy bodies would be inspirational, but I'm not feeling it.

My TV watching friends gain and gain, and they're all like, Hey Asa, you looking great!

But with no TV around to make me feel insecure, depressed or anxious about my self-image, I have far more time to get off my butt and workout!

Don't be so sensitive. It's just an ad. But there is truth in it, you are what you eat. I didn't become fat from gorging on salad and fruit. I'd be a liar if I said I was.

I ate junk food at restaurants over and over and over with a sedentary lifestyle.

THAT's how I got fat.

fattymcrunnerpants

I'm not so sure it's so general. I could be wrong, but it came off as pretty directed at a certain group of people. I also think "society" can be pretty ****ty to everyone. Case in point: my wife went to grocery store last night and bought donuts (for our kids*), beer (for me), and ice cream (so she could measure out her 1/2 cup serving), and while standing in line a rather large woman quite literally started yelling at her about "how can you eat that and still be skinny" as the woman was loading her groceries onto the checkout conveyer. Was that society or some random *kitten* being a *kitten*?

* Okay, okay, I may also have eaten a donut.

IDK, I just read it that way. Sometimes we can be so caught up in whatever anger we're feeling it comes out wrong. Yep, society is pretty ****ty to everyone. At least, for me, though I've noticed it's extra crappy when you don't fit into the mold. For example, unless you go to one of the few shops that cater to bigger people, you're relegated to the back of the store with some of the ugliest clothes ever in a space that takes up a small closet. Hard to feel good about yourself when even the store hates you LMAO.

The bolded part I agree with it. The fact that the OP's anger came out wrong has been pointed out. Hopefully, she'll find a way to direct it in more productive way. As for the mold, I'm still not entirely sure what that entails but I do know that many people see themselves as not fitting it, which leads me to believe that self esteem is part of the problem. I also know plenty of confident overweight people who are quite happy with their lives. On the other hand, I don't think someone who is overweight and angry is going to suddenly become happy when he/she loses weight.

You're 100% correct, you just don't magically become happy when you lose the weight. I was reading an article not too long ago that talked about making a resolution to be happy NOW, not "when I lose the weight" or "when I get that promotion". And that I can totally agree with.