OOOH I SERIOUSLY NEED TO VENT!!

divediva2

Invite him to come to the gym with you. And if his comment does bother you, tell him so. Tell him what you need so you can get to the gym.

Many here do have busy jobs but still manage to get to the gym. I am a nurse, you want to see some steps, follow a nurse around for the day.

And a little venting here does no harm!

GiveMeCoffee

I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.

Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.

Not advice on what you should do but..
If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)

Hope things go better for you very soon!

Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.

AND YOU are 100% sure he didn't mean "it in a cruel and demeaning way"??? You weren't there either, do YOU know them personally???.
She was hurt and upset, I am figure if it upset her that much it was NOT said in a nice or constructive way.
I "eviscerated" no one - I just said to TELL to him how it came across!
If she just takes negativity and nevers gets rid of it she will end up sick from it.

She also takes the fact that he gets to take a nap after work while she's still working. Plus she's a teacher you would think maybe just maybe she's mature enough to have a conversation with her husband. Now her husband has no clue anything is wrong because she couldn't open her mouth up to him and explain that it bothered her. Yea she sounds like the reasonable one in this..... No wonder the divorce rates are so high

4daluvof_candice

So my husband just said these words to me: " you gotta get to the gym babe. You're a slacker" .

I personally would not be so offended to come online to "vent" becasue:

1) It will make me aware that I may NOT be keeping the regimen that I initially said I was going to do in order to get in shape, be healthy, etc.
2) I would be appreciative that my husband is actually paying attention that Im not keeping up with the regimen that I initially said I was going to do in order to get in shape, be healthy, etc. and willing to push me toward that goal.
3) See 1&2

But thats just me....

DeWitch

I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.

Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.

Not advice on what you should do but..
If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)

Hope things go better for you very soon!

Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.

AND YOU are 100% sure he didn't mean "it in a cruel and demeaning way"??? You weren't there either, do YOU know them personally???.
She was hurt and upset, I figure if it upset her that much it was NOT said in a nice or constructive way.
I "eviscerated" no one - I just said to TELL to him how it came across!
If she just takes negativity and nevers gets rid of it she will end up sick from it.

I don't know anything, I just tend to want to get both sides of the story before I jump to one conclusion or the next.

I didn't jump to conclusions either. I was complimenting "raindawg's" post and also just trying to soften the blow of some of the nasty comments that were posted here.
Then I tried to make it funny by saying I would blast my husband for talking to me that way.

DeWitch

I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.

Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.

Not advice on what you should do but..
If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)

Hope things go better for you very soon!

Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.

AND YOU are 100% sure he didn't mean "it in a cruel and demeaning way"??? You weren't there either, do YOU know them personally???.
She was hurt and upset, I figure if it upset her that much it was NOT said in a nice or constructive way.
I "eviscerated" no one - I just said to TELL to him how it came across!
If she just takes negativity and nevers gets rid of it she will end up sick from it.

She also takes the fact that he gets to take a nap after work while she's still working. Plus she's a teacher you would think maybe just maybe she's mature enough to have a conversation with her husband. Now her husband has no clue anything is wrong because she couldn't open her mouth up to him and explain that it bothered her. Yea she sounds like the reasonable one in this..... No wonder the divorce rates are so high

Not exactly sure what you are saying but I used to be a "mouse" and never speak up when someone hurt me verbally - have known a few women like that and it is NOT good for you. After I got a job where I had to work with several mean people (mostly women) I got over being a "mouse" and no one "walks on me" any more.

PRMinx

I get you OP, you're just venting a bit. Take it or leave it on all the relationship advice your going to get.here.

Best advice here - PLEASE (especially) ignore all the nasty and negative comments.

Not advice on what you should do but..
If my husband said anything like that to me I would have told him exactly what I thought about it and him and NOT quietly;)

Hope things go better for you very soon!

Yes, because god forbid people want to understand the real context BEFORE eviscerating this guy on a public forum. Can you be 100% sure he meant it in a cruel and demeaning way? No, you can't. You weren't there. You don't know them.

AND YOU are 100% sure he didn't mean "it in a cruel and demeaning way"??? You weren't there either, do YOU know them personally???.
She was hurt and upset, I am figure if it upset her that much it was NOT said in a nice or constructive way.
I "eviscerated" no one - I just said to TELL to him how it came across!
If she just takes negativity and nevers gets rid of it she will end up sick from it.

She also takes the fact that he gets to take a nap after work while she's still working. Plus she's a teacher you would think maybe just maybe she's mature enough to have a conversation with her husband. Now her husband has no clue anything is wrong because she couldn't open her mouth up to him and explain that it bothered her. Yea she sounds like the reasonable one in this..... No wonder the divorce rates are so high

YES!!! Another place for that needed "like" button:)

Agreed!

Tanie98

Just break up.

This sounds like the type of advice Dr. Phil would provide - drastic and illogical. Haha.

breaking up is not always an option

SonicDeathMonkey80

Just break up.

This sounds like the type of advice Dr. Phil would provide - drastic and illogical. Haha.

breaking up is not always an option

Says you

tracie_minus100

Did you tell him you didn't like what he said? That it hurt/offended you?
When my husband hurts my feelings or pisses me off, I tell him. If I upset him, he tells me. Then we talk about it and move on.
Hopefully he was just trying to be helpful!

Tedebearduff

So my husband just said these words to me: " you gotta get to the gym babe. You're a slacker" .Let me break this down for everyone. I am a 3rd grade teacher. I wear my fit bit to school and log an avg. Of 3.5 miles a day. I never sit! Oh wait a minute my 20 minutes of lunch that turns into 10 wait nope gotta make copies and go to the bathroom and oh yeah here comes a kid who has to finish some work. So my 20 minute lunch has turned into scarfing my turkey burger down my throat as I pick my kids up on the playground. But yep you're right I'm a slacker. My 8 hours on my feet,not to mention my class is downstairs, is just not good enough reason to not to want to go to the gym. Did I mention he goes to work at 5:30 am and gets off at noon and comes home to take a nap? This is all the crap I would have liked to say to him. Also keep in mind that I have maintained going to the gym after school for at least 3 days a week.

I agree you need to get to the gym ... and let some aggression out!!

Your body is use to what you do on a daily, fitibit calories don't count unless you only wear it when you are running/ jogging/ working out.

Are you saying your still going to the gym? or you did at one point for 3 years and have since stopped?

I know ALLOT of teachers who workout in the mornings with me... maybe try going in the mornings?

WalkingAlong

Just break up.

This sounds like the type of advice Dr. Phil would provide - drastic and illogical. Haha.

breaking up is not always an option

Fear of that situation is what got me through college, I think.

loriq41

I would tell my hubby straight to his face and probably say it in a very evil way..but then again. we have been together since I was 20 and he was 19..no holds barred! lol

lkoconnell

i find it hard to believe he said this if what you've said about his schedule and yours is true... are you sure he wasnt just joking around? does he know that you go to the gym already?

if he wasnt though and this is legit thats pretty sh*tty of him to say, talk to him about it

Also ... isn't it summer vacation?

Nope not in AZ. We start school at the beg. of Aug. SMH

lkoconnell

From the OP's profile:

"Now the hubs and I started a great gym routine. 6 days a week : 4-5 weight training and 3-4 cardio. I'm really enjoying it as I used to be a gym rat back in the day. "

So yeah she has a busy job, kids, still manages to make it to the gym 3 x per week. But, without knowing anymore backstory than presented here, it looks like she was trying to do 6 x. So, in that sense, hubby was correct - she is slacking. Obviously, there are ways to say that, and maybe he used the wrong one, but OP does appear to not be meeting the goals she set herself. Should he never say anything?

Yep that was during the summer when i had all the free time in the world. Well not so much now.

gonzanab

The key to a relationship is communication. You should sit down and talk to him about your feelings about what he said. He may not have noticed that it offended you.

JulieGirl58

My balding husband once said to me, "Maybe you'd like to lose some weight". I replied, "maybe you'd like to grow your hair back." End of discussion.

mebepiglet123

This is probaly why he said it.... This is your introduction from mfp ...

So I'm at my wit's end with my weight! I gained way too much while on Lexapro. (Tmi???) I started running in Nov and have not lost a single pound or inch! Now the hubs and I started a great gym routine. 6 days a week : 4-5 weight training and 3-4 cardio. I'm really enjoying it as I used to be a gym rat back in the day.
I'm mommy to 3 year old Kayelyn as and 20 year old Aaron. I teach 3rd grade and I'm addicted to pinterest.

If you were going to the gym with your husband 6 days a week...then drop it to 3...
Are you eating right? Why do you have no energy after working a normal job... Most of us work.

Dunno, could be a jerk or maybe he is missing you at the gym.

Dawn5202

My husband got frustrated with me last week, because I haven't been working out. I was upset, but I didn't argue with him, and said that I knew that he was right. About 10 minutes later, he came back in the house and told me that it was none of his business and that he shouldn't add guilt on top of what I was feeling and that he was sorry. And this is why I am still married to him after 20 years. It made it easier to listen to him because I was feeling loved instead of harped on! Tell your husband that his words hurt and frustrated you and tell him why. Then be honest with yourself about your workouts and what you want them to be and it may be that you are satisfied with where you are at. If you are, share that with your husband as well. And let him know that this is a personal journey and all you need from him is encouragement!