OOOH I SERIOUSLY NEED TO VENT!!

WalkingAlong

I'm glad I'M... not the ONLY ONE.... who... noticed the strange.. overuse of ELLIPSES..

Captain Kirk 1.0!

WalkingAlong

... my husbands reminds me all the time when I slack off

Stereo nagging.

schmoovey

So my husband just said these words to me: " you gotta get to the gym babe. You're a slacker" .Let me break this down for everyone. I am a 3rd grade teacher. I wear my fit bit to school and log an avg. Of 3.5 miles a day. I never sit! Oh wait a minute my 20 minutes of lunch that turns into 10 wait nope gotta make copies and go to the bathroom and oh yeah here comes a kid who has to finish some work. So my 20 minute lunch has turned into scarfing my turkey burger down my throat as I pick my kids up on the playground. But yep you're right I'm a slacker. My 8 hours on my feet,not to mention my class is downstairs, is just not good enough reason to not to want to go to the gym. Did I mention he goes to work at 5:30 am and gets off at noon and comes home to take a nap? This is all the crap I would have liked to say to him. Also keep in mind that I have maintained going to the gym after school for at least 3 days a week.

You sound like you're a very hard-working woman. You do a lot. You work 8 hours a day to help pay the bills. You take a lot of extra time to help out the kids at your school. You go to the gym 3 times a week on top of being on your feet all day.
So when your husband had the audacity to critique you in a negative way (knowing full well all that you go through in a day to take care of life) it obviously offended you and upset you.

You're right to be upset. He chose the wrong words and approached it in the wrong way. I don't know what your body shape is, etc., but you look to be a very beautiful woman. So, does he compliment you at all on your looks or anything else like how hard you work, etc. OR is he merely being critical if you have may have gained a little weight?

The reason I ask is because if he's only finding the negative in you, then something is wrong with HIM and NOT YOU. If you can, try to forgive him of this very bad mistake, but if he keeps it up, then confront him about it. Ask him why he feels the need to belittle you like that? Then, tell him what you are doing to try and stay fit in the limited time you have. Then tell him that you're doing everything you can, but you're not getting any younger so he needs to help with ENCOURAGING words and not with NEGATIVE CRITIQUE - words that can hurt. Examples of what he could say instead: Hey honey, how about you and I take a walk together around the park? How about you and I buy that new exercise video and try it out together...I could really use your support and a workout partner?!? Honey, remember that trip we have planned to the beach next summer?...Well how about we make it a goal to each lose a bit of weight....I definitely have about ten pounds to lose....want to help me?

Now, this is where it gets tricky for the guys, because sometimes no matter what we men say to a woman regarding her looks, sometimes its taken the wrong way....even if its positive. So, this is where you need to accept that he's really trying to communicate in a positive way, and go along with it.

Hopefully, he won't be stupid and repeat the same offensive tactic he used to try and get you to the gym. If he does, then that's where you need to step in and explain what would be more appropriate, etc., as I described above.

He's possibly just not seeing the big picture. You may need to open his eyes about how wonderful you are. And remember, your body does not define who you are. It's just a product of your lifestyle. If you're truly happy with where you're at right now, then as your husband he needs to be supportive and accept that. If he makes stupid comments, just remember that he's still a guy and unfortunately, most of us men were not blessed with great communication like the ladies.

deluxmary2000

walking is a different activity... compared to goin gto the gym... when you DO.. go to the gym.. is all you do there walk?

This I do NOT get... men... are simple... and when allowed to be.. offer women nothing but 100% honesty.. it does NOT come from a place of sinister animosity... it is almost always... meant as a helpful reminder.. nothing more... men are practical... My wife and I signed up for Gym Memberships... 2 years... and in 2 years my wife's attendance was less than 1/month.. $50/month $1200.00 dollars... so when I mentioned that maybe she ought to go to the gym.. it was more about... hey ... make use of the money we are paying this place.. BUT NO.. what did Iget... "shut up.. I get plenty of exercise at work...." okay... BUT.. WHY have a gym membership IF you are not going to use it???

There.. I vented too

I'm here to promote ellipsis conservation.

I'm glad I'M... not the ONLY ONE.... who... noticed the strange.. overuse of ELLIPSES..

STOP!

If YOU... insist

dramaqueen45

People who don't work in education have no clue how little time you have to yourself to eat or even go to the bathroom. When you're calm, talk to him and remind him that three times per week to the gym is really a very good and effective schedule for working out. But yes, you're burning many many calories in your elementary classroom. Believe me, I know.

lemonsnowdrop

I know nurses who work 12 hour days, have children and still make time for the gym. Honestly, 30 minutes of working out can be rewarding and it's hardly any time.

I'm not saying everyone with a busy schedule should exercise every day, but if OP has given her husband the notion that she would like to get to the gym more often and is using her job as an excuse not to, then I don't think he said those things with cruel intentions.

That's just my two cents.

geebusuk

3.5 miles a day walking spread out really isn't a massive amount to my mind.
But then if someone had a go at me for not going to the gym more than 3 times a week, I'd likely explain how there was no need because I'd built my program up around that and if anything it would be detrimental to recovery to put in more time .