You are looking so thin......

bajoyba

I can kind of relate to what the OP is saying. I spent all of my post-pubescent life being "curvy" and "thick" and was raised to believe that women are beautiful with some "meat on their bones". I always liked how I looked, even at my heaviest.
And now, people come up to me at work or when I'm out doing some shopping (friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and even people that I hardly know) and tell me that I'm "so thin", or that I look too skinny, or that I should stop losing weight because "your booty is your magic", and that kinda sucks. It's not the word "thin" in and of itself but how they use it that kind of gets to me.

However, the original post of this thread really rubs me the wrong way. It has never been my intention to be "thin" because that's simply not what I want for my body. But just because I prefer to keep my body fat at or above a certain percentage or would like a certain level of muscle definition doesn't mean I think other body types aren't beautiful. I can have specific goals for my own body without criticizing or insulting someone else, and when I really dig deep to find value in who I am as a person, it has nothing to do with what my body looks like.

Beauty comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. Yes, attraction and preference are highly subjective, and no, you aren't required to find every body type attractive for the sake of political correctness, but it's unnecessary and mean-spirited to tear others down in order to build yourself up, and that's how the OP reads.

Random people comment on my body size all the time now, and it really irks my tater. It's not about adjectives, it's about attitude, and it's about the fact that they think their opinion of my body should be important. No one ever commented on my body size when I was 80 pounds heavier, or if they did, it was almost all positive. People certainly never came up to me in the grocery store and said "You look good right now, but don't get any fatter!" or "Your face looks too chubby" or "Are you done gaining weight yet?" Why is it okay to do it at the other end of the spectrum?

Love yourself as you are, and love the body you have. Compliment people, tell them they're beautiful, and build them up. Or, if you don't have anything nice to say, maybe don't say anything at all.

GertrudeHorse

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

cherrilovee

Thank you so much for throwing your thoughts out on the boards.
Honestly I couldn't agree with you more!

Daiako

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

The OP never said ugly. She's said not beautiful. There is a lot of space between 'ugly' and 'not beautiful'.

I don't find short dudes to be attractive. Doesn't mean I think they're ugly.

Asherah29

Perhaps it is lost upon you OP, but it is possible to love yourself and express your opinion without shaming or being harmful to other people.

ie:
"For myself, I think my body type looks better as a fuller figure."
or
"I like a fit figure"

as opposed to things like

"No, stick figures are NOT beautiful............but look at something like the Mona Lisa (obviously far from a "Thin" woman) it IS beautiful........Why? She has curves."

I really can't wrap my head about how people just bash themselves through the appropriate door and then defend their poor behavior as if they have done nothing wrong. You would not be correct in saying that ANYONE is disgusting or ugly or unattractive. I don't see how you think its okay to say so because someone is your version of "thin."
Perhaps it is the fact that you were unable to express your idea's in the manner in which you were thinking them. If so an apology and clarification would be much better received than the mess that has gone forward from here.

For an ending I go to my favorite edited for bleepiness meme. Its somewhat fitting, if we substitute stick figure for bones anyway.



Good day OP

GDLAZ

I have to side with Sir Mix-A-Lot.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

No kidding? It's a mental illness? I would never have guessed that.

I also never saw anyone use the word ugly anywhere. Just "not beautiful". Beauty is a spectrum. Ugly is at one end, and stunning beauty at the other. There is a whole range of in between.

Edited again to remove strikable material.

GertrudeHorse

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

The OP never said ugly. She's said not beautiful. There is a lot of space between 'ugly' and 'not beautiful'.

I don't find short dudes to be attractive. Doesn't mean I think they're ugly.

I also wouldn't ever go up to an anorexic person and say "you aren't beautiful". Neither would I say that to anyone who was obviously unwell.

But in any event, the ranty vibe of the OP implied she has disdain for how thin people look rather than simply being neutral łwhich is what you're claiming with your distinction between "not beautiful" and "ugly"). Her OP was judgemental and horrible and totally unnecessary. Her responses subsequently have compounded things. If you want to see a good way to respond when being called out then see the "office treats" thread.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

The OP never said ugly. She's said not beautiful. There is a lot of space between 'ugly' and 'not beautiful'.

I don't find short dudes to be attractive. Doesn't mean I think they're ugly.

As a short dude, I am going to be over here in the corner crying from the butthurt brought on me by your offensive comment.

Oh. Wait. No, I'm not. I'm not even offended that you aren't attracted to me.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

The OP never said ugly. She's said not beautiful. There is a lot of space between 'ugly' and 'not beautiful'.

I don't find short dudes to be attractive. Doesn't mean I think they're ugly.

Her OP was judgemental and horrible and totally unnecessary. Her responses subsequently have compounded things. If you want to see a good way to respond when being called out then see the "office treats" thread.

According to you. Others may not see it that way. Which is why we should all engage in civil discourse instead of OP bashing in retaliation for a perceived offense.

GertrudeHorse

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

No kidding? It's a mental illness? I would never have guessed that.

I also never saw anyone use the word ugly anywhere. Just "not beautiful". Beauty is a spectrum. Ugly is at one end, and stunning beauty at the other. There is a whole range of in between.

Edited again to remove strikable material.

If you know it's a mental illness why are you bringing it as an analogy in a discussion about body types? Not all anorexics are thin or emaciated. That's my point. Have already responded to the ugly v. not beautiful. Meh I'm out.

Daiako

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

The OP never said ugly. She's said not beautiful. There is a lot of space between 'ugly' and 'not beautiful'.

I don't find short dudes to be attractive. Doesn't mean I think they're ugly.

I also wouldn't ever go up to an anorexic person and say "you aren't beautiful". Neither would I say that to anyone who was obviously unwell.

But in any event, the ranty vibe of the OP implied she has disdain for how thin people look rather than simply being neutral łwhich is what you're claiming with your distinction between "not beautiful" and "ugly"). Her OP was judgemental and horrible and totally unnecessary. Her responses subsequently have compounded things. If you want to see a good way to respond when being called out then see the "office treats" thread.

I would never tell an anorexic person they were beautiful tho, which is decidedly different from telling them that they aren't beautiful. It's a spectrum and I'm not prepared to place the OP's opinion of thinness at any particular point in the spectrum just because she's ranty.

Daiako

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

The OP never said ugly. She's said not beautiful. There is a lot of space between 'ugly' and 'not beautiful'.

I don't find short dudes to be attractive. Doesn't mean I think they're ugly.

As a short dude, I am going to be over here in the corner crying from the butthurt brought on me by your offensive comment.

Oh. Wait. No, I'm not. I'm not even offended that you aren't attracted to me.

But. But.

I don't think you're beautiful. I'm pretty sure this is supposed to screw up your entire self worth and you're supposed to tell me I'm mean and not allowed to say that.

GertrudeHorse

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

The OP never said ugly. She's said not beautiful. There is a lot of space between 'ugly' and 'not beautiful'.

I don't find short dudes to be attractive. Doesn't mean I think they're ugly.

Her OP was judgemental and horrible and totally unnecessary. Her responses subsequently have compounded things. If you want to see a good way to respond when being called out then see the "office treats" thread.

According to you. Others may not see it that way. Which is why we should all engage in civil discourse instead of OP bashing in retaliation for a perceived offense.

According to me and a large number of other people on this thread. In fact there are only one or two people defending the OP. So the majority are offended and called her out. If I knew I'd inadvertently upset lots of people I would apologise and learn what I'd done wrong so I could avoid it in future. But that's just me. Also no one was being cruel, (just frank in their dislike of body shaming), which is more than I can say for the OP...

Now I'm really out. Your last comment was posted while I was writing my reply so just thought I'd acknowledge this as well. Have a good day.

GertrudeHorse

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

The OP never said ugly. She's said not beautiful. There is a lot of space between 'ugly' and 'not beautiful'.

I don't find short dudes to be attractive. Doesn't mean I think they're ugly.

I also wouldn't ever go up to an anorexic person and say "you aren't beautiful". Neither would I say that to anyone who was obviously unwell.

But in any event, the ranty vibe of the OP implied she has disdain for how thin people look rather than simply being neutral łwhich is what you're claiming with your distinction between "not beautiful" and "ugly"). Her OP was judgemental and horrible and totally unnecessary. Her responses subsequently have compounded things. If you want to see a good way to respond when being called out then see the "office treats" thread.

I would never tell an anorexic person they were beautiful tho, which is decidedly different from telling them that they aren't beautiful. It's a spectrum and I'm not prepared to place the OP's opinion of thinness at any particular point in the spectrum just because she's ranty.

That's what everyone is saying. Sometimes nicer to say nothing if what you want to say hurts people. That's all. Okay now I'm really really leaving!

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

No kidding? It's a mental illness? I would never have guessed that.

I also never saw anyone use the word ugly anywhere. Just "not beautiful". Beauty is a spectrum. Ugly is at one end, and stunning beauty at the other. There is a whole range of in between.

Edited again to remove strikable material.

If you know it's a mental illness why are you bringing it as an analogy in a discussion about body types? Not all anorexics are thin or emaciated. That's my point. Have already responded to the ugly v. not beautiful. Meh I'm out.

Because those who engage in the lifestyle are the ones who usually end up thin and emaciated. The recovering and those in treatment don't actively engage in the lifestyle promoted. I spoke of the lifestyle and not the illness that leads to it.

AydensMom37

My lighthouse brings all the boys to the yard...

Dyinggggggggggggggggggggg hahahahaha

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

The OP never said ugly. She's said not beautiful. There is a lot of space between 'ugly' and 'not beautiful'.

I don't find short dudes to be attractive. Doesn't mean I think they're ugly.

As a short dude, I am going to be over here in the corner crying from the butthurt brought on me by your offensive comment.

Oh. Wait. No, I'm not. I'm not even offended that you aren't attracted to me.

But. But.

I don't think you're beautiful. I'm pretty sure this is supposed to screw up your entire self worth and you're supposed to tell me I'm mean and not allowed to say that.

Oh. I forgot. I think that is in the TOS somewhere. Ah well, I will take the strike for saying that I still think you are beautiful in that dress, and being ok with you not seeing me as beautiful. I have plenty of friends who do... including myself. I'm ok with that.

Daiako

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.

There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.

The OP never said ugly. She's said not beautiful. There is a lot of space between 'ugly' and 'not beautiful'.

I don't find short dudes to be attractive. Doesn't mean I think they're ugly.

I also wouldn't ever go up to an anorexic person and say "you aren't beautiful". Neither would I say that to anyone who was obviously unwell.

But in any event, the ranty vibe of the OP implied she has disdain for how thin people look rather than simply being neutral łwhich is what you're claiming with your distinction between "not beautiful" and "ugly"). Her OP was judgemental and horrible and totally unnecessary. Her responses subsequently have compounded things. If you want to see a good way to respond when being called out then see the "office treats" thread.

I would never tell an anorexic person they were beautiful tho, which is decidedly different from telling them that they aren't beautiful. It's a spectrum and I'm not prepared to place the OP's opinion of thinness at any particular point in the spectrum just because she's ranty.

That's what everyone is saying. Sometimes nicer to say nothing if what you want to say hurts people. That's all. Okay now I'm really really leaving!

If that's the case then no one should ever say anything ever because people will be offended. Do I think the OP should go around telling people they aren't beautiful? No, I even said it would behoove her to not do so, BUT I also don't think the OP was body shaming or isn't entitled to her own idea of beauty/has to be silent about what she thinks is or isn't beautiful to her because other's will be hurt. I certainly don't think it makes her horrible or awful or ugly on the inside, all of which have been said about her in this thread.

Everyone likes to shame people for having a preference or daring to speak about not thinking all shapes and sizes are attractive and, frankly, I find that gross. If someone isn't telling you to change or telling you that no one could possibly find you attractive, but merely that they personally don't, it's not body shaming and it's not 'awful'.