You are looking so thin......
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People are missing the point of the thread. The OP is the one that was offended and posted an angry rant about herself being offended.
Personally, as someone that replied, I was not offended. Just judging her, and others (you could say).
People posting angry rants in Motivation and Support?
This is new and different.
She was angry. She posted an angry rant. Some people took offense to her rant. (She probably should have said her husband/boyfriend tells her she's 'looking so thin' and then everyone would have told her what a rude thing that is to say while she progresses on her journey/lifestyle change.) I'm not sure what point has been missed.
I never said it was new or different.
I just posted my opinions. That happens when people post threads.
Her wording was not about her personal self, It was about her judging other people.
I can understand if someone said that she looks so thin that she needs to eat a sandwich or something, that would be reason to be offended, in my opinion.
But, these are just my opinions. It's ok if we all have different opinions. I'm not here to argue with strangers.
So then you support the OP and others who don't want to be referred to as 'thin' in their choice to inform others that it's not a term they personally are okay with?
Ok. I don't really care what the OP does.
I will explain my stance on it with two scenarios.
If someone tells me that I look so thin or skinny and they are saying it looks bad and they want me to gain. Then, yes, I would feel insulted. because that's an insult.
I'm a dancer. If I am at dance rehearsal, and we are trying on costumes and sharing clothing. I try something on, and someone says, "I love that, it looks so good on you". And I say, "There is another one here, do you want to try it also?" And they say, "Oh no. It looks good on you because you are so skinny. That would not fit me." My thought is that I learned from mfp that skinny means all these horrendous horrible things, so in that case I do not think of myself as skinny. However. I am intelligent enough to know that the person saying it was having her own feelings about her body. And she was genuinely complimenting me. And she didn't mean the things that people on mfp say. And I am in the middle of a dance rehearsal, so I don't want to make a scene. So, instead I will say something like, "Aaaw, thanks", and then I will compliment her figure and explain how we have different figures. I have a smaller waist. She has slimmer legs. Sometimes later, if it comes up, I may explain some of my thoughts about the word skinny. But, I won't get angry at her. And besides, maybe people do consider me skinny. I don't care. I know they don't think I am emaciated or gross or whatever because that's not what I am. I am small, and slim, but I also have a curvy figure and I'm very healthy and fit. And I eat 2000 calories a day and lift heavy weights.
I'm not going to change my personality and start getting insulted when people say something they genuinely meant as a compliment. They said skinny and meant slender. They did not mean emaciated. Can you understand the distinctions I am making? I don't want to have to continue explaining this. I hope I have explained it well this time.
So. No?
You don't have to find it personally offended to accept that it might be offensive to someone else or support their right to speak up. If you believe we're all allowed to have our own opinions then does that not also mean the OP is entitled to her opinion? And is thusly allowed to 'rant' about how someone elses well meant comment makes her feel?
No one is asking you to change, but rather to accept that just because you think something is fine doesn't mean the OP has to think it's fine or let it slide. I'm not asking you to explain your position, I was fine with 'we're all allowed to have opinions' I'm just asking if that extends to you supporting people like the OP in expressing how certain words/terms make her feel.
I never said that she couldn't do that. But, why am I required to support her?
I do understand that she was trying to be helpful to young women. I respect that motivation. I do not think she was successful because she could have done it in a more balanced way that takes into account the diversity of young people (instead she did from a self-wounded motivation). That's my personal opinion. She doesn't have to do what I suggested. And I don't have to support her, either (whatever that even means).
Lets just have a discussion. Consider each other's view points. We don't need to change each other.
Is she saying she feels wounded by a certain standard? I will support her feelings about herself. I don't really support body shaming other people that are different from oneself, though. I just don't. If I felt bad about myself when I was younger, I'm not going to insult people with a different body from myself now.
You say it's okay to have different opinions but also that you can't understand her opinion and imply that if she was offended because of a certain reason it'd be fine but as is it's not enough. If you actually think that other opinions are okay then you could support (that is back up and not imply that she should be happy for a compliment she doesn't think is flattering) her choice to not appreciate it and yes, even rant about it.
To do so doesn't change your view, it just means you accept her's and don't feel like you need to judge it just because it isn't your own. I, personally, don't think she was body shaming. People should be allowed to express what they find to be beautiful without being told they're shaming others, unless we're now saying that only positive opinions can be shared.
And if that's the case...well that's a whole other can of worms.
No, that's not what I am saying at all.
We are just going to go in circles. And you keep attributing thoughts and motivations to me that I don't have.
Beauty is not dependent on weight. It even comes from within. So, I wouldn't say that someone is not beautiful because they are too thin or too fat. That statement doesn't make sense to me.
If someone was anorexic, actually I would tell them they are beautiful, and that they should love and respect themselves, and I would help them to see the reasons why. I would nurture their self-worth, and that is what would help them towards recovery.0 -
People are missing the point of the thread. The OP is the one that was offended and posted an angry rant about herself being offended.
Personally, as someone that replied, I was not offended. Just judging her, and others (you could say).
People posting angry rants in Motivation and Support?
This is new and different.
She was angry. She posted an angry rant. Some people took offense to her rant. (She probably should have said her husband/boyfriend tells her she's 'looking so thin' and then everyone would have told her what a rude thing that is to say while she progresses on her journey/lifestyle change.) I'm not sure what point has been missed.
I never said it was new or different.
I just posted my opinions. That happens when people post threads.
Her wording was not about her personal self, It was about her judging other people.
I can understand if someone said that she looks so thin that she needs to eat a sandwich or something, that would be reason to be offended, in my opinion.
But, these are just my opinions. It's ok if we all have different opinions. I'm not here to argue with strangers.
So then you support the OP and others who don't want to be referred to as 'thin' in their choice to inform others that it's not a term they personally are okay with?
Ok. I don't really care what the OP does.
I will explain my stance on it with two scenarios.
If someone tells me that I look so thin or skinny and they are saying it looks bad and they want me to gain. Then, yes, I would feel insulted. because that's an insult.
I'm a dancer. If I am at dance rehearsal, and we are trying on costumes and sharing clothing. I try something on, and someone says, "I love that, it looks so good on you". And I say, "There is another one here, do you want to try it also?" And they say, "Oh no. It looks good on you because you are so skinny. That would not fit me." My thought is that I learned from mfp that skinny means all these horrendous horrible things, so in that case I do not think of myself as skinny. However. I am intelligent enough to know that the person saying it was having her own feelings about her body. And she was genuinely complimenting me. And she didn't mean the things that people on mfp say. And I am in the middle of a dance rehearsal, so I don't want to make a scene. So, instead I will say something like, "Aaaw, thanks", and then I will compliment her figure and explain how we have different figures. I have a smaller waist. She has slimmer legs. Sometimes later, if it comes up, I may explain some of my thoughts about the word skinny. But, I won't get angry at her. And besides, maybe people do consider me skinny. I don't care. I know they don't think I am emaciated or gross or whatever because that's not what I am. I am small, and slim, but I also have a curvy figure and I'm very healthy and fit. And I eat 2000 calories a day and lift heavy weights.
I'm not going to change my personality and start getting insulted when people say something they genuinely meant as a compliment. They said skinny and meant slender. They did not mean emaciated. Can you understand the distinctions I am making? I don't want to have to continue explaining this. I hope I have explained it well this time.
So. No?
You don't have to find it personally offended to accept that it might be offensive to someone else or support their right to speak up. If you believe we're all allowed to have our own opinions then does that not also mean the OP is entitled to her opinion? And is thusly allowed to 'rant' about how someone elses well meant comment makes her feel?
No one is asking you to change, but rather to accept that just because you think something is fine doesn't mean the OP has to think it's fine or let it slide. I'm not asking you to explain your position, I was fine with 'we're all allowed to have opinions' I'm just asking if that extends to you supporting people like the OP in expressing how certain words/terms make her feel.
I never said that she couldn't do that. But, why am I required to support her?
I do understand that she was trying to be helpful to young women. I respect that motivation. I do not think she was successful because she could have done it in a more balanced way that takes into account the diversity of young people (instead she did from a self-wounded motivation). That's my personal opinion. She doesn't have to do what I suggested. And I don't have to support her, either (whatever that even means).
Lets just have a discussion. Consider each other's view points. We don't need to change each other.
Is she saying she feels wounded by a certain standard? I will support her feelings about herself. I don't really support body shaming other people that are different from oneself, though. I just don't. If I felt bad about myself when I was younger, I'm not going to insult people with a different body from myself now.
You say it's okay to have different opinions but also that you can't understand her opinion and imply that if she was offended because of a certain reason it'd be fine but as is it's not enough. If you actually think that other opinions are okay then you could support (that is back up and not imply that she should be happy for a compliment she doesn't think is flattering) her choice to not appreciate it and yes, even rant about it.
To do so doesn't change your view, it just means you accept her's and don't feel like you need to judge it just because it isn't your own. I, personally, don't think she was body shaming. People should be allowed to express what they find to be beautiful without being told they're shaming others, unless we're now saying that only positive opinions can be shared.
And if that's the case...well that's a whole other can of worms.
No, that's not what I am saying at all.
We are just going to go in circles. And you keep attributing thoughts and motivations to me that I don't have.
Beauty is not dependent on weight. It even comes from within. So, I wouldn't say that someone is not beautiful because they are too thin or too fat. That statement doesn't make sense to me.
If someone was anorexic, actually I would tell them they are beautiful, and that they should love themselves. I would nurture their self-worth, and that is what would help them towards recovery.
Your concept of beauty isn't the same as someone elses and they should be allowed to hold their own views of beauty, and yes even express those views, without being told they're shaming others.
Which is my point.
But it seems there cannot be a middle ground here. /shrug
No skin off my nose. I will continue to not find fault in the OP, her idea of beauty, and what she finds personally offensive.0 -
People are missing the point of the thread. The OP is the one that was offended and posted an angry rant about herself being offended.
Personally, as someone that replied, I was not offended. Just judging her, and others (you could say).
People posting angry rants in Motivation and Support?
This is new and different.
She was angry. She posted an angry rant. Some people took offense to her rant. (She probably should have said her husband/boyfriend tells her she's 'looking so thin' and then everyone would have told her what a rude thing that is to say while she progresses on her journey/lifestyle change.) I'm not sure what point has been missed.
I never said it was new or different.
I just posted my opinions. That happens when people post threads.
Her wording was not about her personal self, It was about her judging other people.
I can understand if someone said that she looks so thin that she needs to eat a sandwich or something, that would be reason to be offended, in my opinion.
But, these are just my opinions. It's ok if we all have different opinions. I'm not here to argue with strangers.
So then you support the OP and others who don't want to be referred to as 'thin' in their choice to inform others that it's not a term they personally are okay with?
Ok. I don't really care what the OP does.
I will explain my stance on it with two scenarios.
If someone tells me that I look so thin or skinny and they are saying it looks bad and they want me to gain. Then, yes, I would feel insulted. because that's an insult.
I'm a dancer. If I am at dance rehearsal, and we are trying on costumes and sharing clothing. I try something on, and someone says, "I love that, it looks so good on you". And I say, "There is another one here, do you want to try it also?" And they say, "Oh no. It looks good on you because you are so skinny. That would not fit me." My thought is that I learned from mfp that skinny means all these horrendous horrible things, so in that case I do not think of myself as skinny. However. I am intelligent enough to know that the person saying it was having her own feelings about her body. And she was genuinely complimenting me. And she didn't mean the things that people on mfp say. And I am in the middle of a dance rehearsal, so I don't want to make a scene. So, instead I will say something like, "Aaaw, thanks", and then I will compliment her figure and explain how we have different figures. I have a smaller waist. She has slimmer legs. Sometimes later, if it comes up, I may explain some of my thoughts about the word skinny. But, I won't get angry at her. And besides, maybe people do consider me skinny. I don't care. I know they don't think I am emaciated or gross or whatever because that's not what I am. I am small, and slim, but I also have a curvy figure and I'm very healthy and fit. And I eat 2000 calories a day and lift heavy weights.
I'm not going to change my personality and start getting insulted when people say something they genuinely meant as a compliment. They said skinny and meant slender. They did not mean emaciated. Can you understand the distinctions I am making? I don't want to have to continue explaining this. I hope I have explained it well this time.
So. No?
You don't have to find it personally offended to accept that it might be offensive to someone else or support their right to speak up. If you believe we're all allowed to have our own opinions then does that not also mean the OP is entitled to her opinion? And is thusly allowed to 'rant' about how someone elses well meant comment makes her feel?
No one is asking you to change, but rather to accept that just because you think something is fine doesn't mean the OP has to think it's fine or let it slide. I'm not asking you to explain your position, I was fine with 'we're all allowed to have opinions' I'm just asking if that extends to you supporting people like the OP in expressing how certain words/terms make her feel.
I never said that she couldn't do that. But, why am I required to support her?
I do understand that she was trying to be helpful to young women. I respect that motivation. I do not think she was successful because she could have done it in a more balanced way that takes into account the diversity of young people (instead she did from a self-wounded motivation). That's my personal opinion. She doesn't have to do what I suggested. And I don't have to support her, either (whatever that even means).
Lets just have a discussion. Consider each other's view points. We don't need to change each other.
Is she saying she feels wounded by a certain standard? I will support her feelings about herself. I don't really support body shaming other people that are different from oneself, though. I just don't. If I felt bad about myself when I was younger, I'm not going to insult people with a different body from myself now.
You say it's okay to have different opinions but also that you can't understand her opinion and imply that if she was offended because of a certain reason it'd be fine but as is it's not enough. If you actually think that other opinions are okay then you could support (that is back up and not imply that she should be happy for a compliment she doesn't think is flattering) her choice to not appreciate it and yes, even rant about it.
To do so doesn't change your view, it just means you accept her's and don't feel like you need to judge it just because it isn't your own. I, personally, don't think she was body shaming. People should be allowed to express what they find to be beautiful without being told they're shaming others, unless we're now saying that only positive opinions can be shared.
And if that's the case...well that's a whole other can of worms.
I personally think that it was just bad wording. She phrased it as fact, not opinion. She definitively said, "thin isn't beautiful", which of course sounds like a completely jerk thing to say. And thin people already deal with a lot of stupid bashing. It's gotten better as the Body Acceptance movement has found it's stride, but it's still an issue. I feel like it's my responsibility to at least try to respectfully reach out if it sounds like someone hasn't gotten this particular memo.
However, if it's just her opinion, then cool. Whatever.0 -
People are missing the point of the thread. The OP is the one that was offended and posted an angry rant about herself being offended.
Personally, as someone that replied, I was not offended. Just judging her, and others (you could say).
People posting angry rants in Motivation and Support?
This is new and different.
She was angry. She posted an angry rant. Some people took offense to her rant. (She probably should have said her husband/boyfriend tells her she's 'looking so thin' and then everyone would have told her what a rude thing that is to say while she progresses on her journey/lifestyle change.) I'm not sure what point has been missed.
I never said it was new or different.
I just posted my opinions. That happens when people post threads.
Her wording was not about her personal self, It was about her judging other people.
I can understand if someone said that she looks so thin that she needs to eat a sandwich or something, that would be reason to be offended, in my opinion.
But, these are just my opinions. It's ok if we all have different opinions. I'm not here to argue with strangers.
So then you support the OP and others who don't want to be referred to as 'thin' in their choice to inform others that it's not a term they personally are okay with?
Ok. I don't really care what the OP does.
I will explain my stance on it with two scenarios.
If someone tells me that I look so thin or skinny and they are saying it looks bad and they want me to gain. Then, yes, I would feel insulted. because that's an insult.
I'm a dancer. If I am at dance rehearsal, and we are trying on costumes and sharing clothing. I try something on, and someone says, "I love that, it looks so good on you". And I say, "There is another one here, do you want to try it also?" And they say, "Oh no. It looks good on you because you are so skinny. That would not fit me." My thought is that I learned from mfp that skinny means all these horrendous horrible things, so in that case I do not think of myself as skinny. However. I am intelligent enough to know that the person saying it was having her own feelings about her body. And she was genuinely complimenting me. And she didn't mean the things that people on mfp say. And I am in the middle of a dance rehearsal, so I don't want to make a scene. So, instead I will say something like, "Aaaw, thanks", and then I will compliment her figure and explain how we have different figures. I have a smaller waist. She has slimmer legs. Sometimes later, if it comes up, I may explain some of my thoughts about the word skinny. But, I won't get angry at her. And besides, maybe people do consider me skinny. I don't care. I know they don't think I am emaciated or gross or whatever because that's not what I am. I am small, and slim, but I also have a curvy figure and I'm very healthy and fit. And I eat 2000 calories a day and lift heavy weights.
I'm not going to change my personality and start getting insulted when people say something they genuinely meant as a compliment. They said skinny and meant slender. They did not mean emaciated. Can you understand the distinctions I am making? I don't want to have to continue explaining this. I hope I have explained it well this time.
So. No?
You don't have to find it personally offended to accept that it might be offensive to someone else or support their right to speak up. If you believe we're all allowed to have our own opinions then does that not also mean the OP is entitled to her opinion? And is thusly allowed to 'rant' about how someone elses well meant comment makes her feel?
No one is asking you to change, but rather to accept that just because you think something is fine doesn't mean the OP has to think it's fine or let it slide. I'm not asking you to explain your position, I was fine with 'we're all allowed to have opinions' I'm just asking if that extends to you supporting people like the OP in expressing how certain words/terms make her feel.
I never said that she couldn't do that. But, why am I required to support her?
I do understand that she was trying to be helpful to young women. I respect that motivation. I do not think she was successful because she could have done it in a more balanced way that takes into account the diversity of young people (instead she did from a self-wounded motivation). That's my personal opinion. She doesn't have to do what I suggested. And I don't have to support her, either (whatever that even means).
Lets just have a discussion. Consider each other's view points. We don't need to change each other.
Is she saying she feels wounded by a certain standard? I will support her feelings about herself. I don't really support body shaming other people that are different from oneself, though. I just don't. If I felt bad about myself when I was younger, I'm not going to insult people with a different body from myself now.
You say it's okay to have different opinions but also that you can't understand her opinion and imply that if she was offended because of a certain reason it'd be fine but as is it's not enough. If you actually think that other opinions are okay then you could support (that is back up and not imply that she should be happy for a compliment she doesn't think is flattering) her choice to not appreciate it and yes, even rant about it.
To do so doesn't change your view, it just means you accept her's and don't feel like you need to judge it just because it isn't your own. I, personally, don't think she was body shaming. People should be allowed to express what they find to be beautiful without being told they're shaming others, unless we're now saying that only positive opinions can be shared.
And if that's the case...well that's a whole other can of worms.
No, that's not what I am saying at all.
We are just going to go in circles. And you keep attributing thoughts and motivations to me that I don't have.
Beauty is not dependent on weight. It even comes from within. So, I wouldn't say that someone is not beautiful because they are too thin or too fat. That statement doesn't make sense to me.
If someone was anorexic, actually I would tell them they are beautiful, and that they should love themselves. I would nurture their self-worth, and that is what would help them towards recovery.
Your concept of beauty isn't the same as someone elses and they should be allowed to hold their own views of beauty, and yes even express those views, without being told they're shaming others.
Which is my point.
But it seems there cannot be a middle ground here. /shrug
No skin off my nose. I will continue to not find fault in the OP, her idea of beauty, and what she finds personally offensive.
I thought the point of the OP was to help young people. I noticed that because you asked me to support her, so I read the op and thought about it. So, I was explaining how to help a young person that actually does have an eating disorder.
And I was saying that a thin (or fat) person could have a beautiful face or be beautiful in a number of ways. And that when we help them see that, it's easier to get them to work towards a healthy body which would radiate more beauty. I'm only including the opposite spectrum to help my points make sense. I don't actually think that someone with weight on them is not beautiful. I do think they are beautiful.
Of course everyone can have their own concepts of beauty. And so can I. And if I see a painting with all different shaped and sized women, I see the beauty in that. Personally. I'm not saying you have to.0 -
my friend, who eats plenty but is naturally thin, was recently broken up with by her long term boyfriend. (this was many years ago, when i was 19 or 20)
she was crying to me about "nobody wants me because i am so thin, and who ever wants to snuggle up with someone so bony and skinny"
at the time i was nearing 200 pounds for the first time and i was suddenly so surprised, that anyone who was thin would think they werent beautiful. she sounded just like me whenever i got rejected. its because im too fat. i guess i just figured that everyone who wasnt fat had it made.
and that moment is what i think of every time someone shames a thin person for being themselves. i imagine her reading the post and feeling all those feelings confirmed and how it feels when i watch people make fat jokes... the same.
i get the point that you make about using the word thin for your goals. the goal should be fitness, and not ability to diminish, but the wording could have been better.0 -
People are missing the point of the thread. The OP is the one that was offended and posted an angry rant about herself being offended.
Personally, as someone that replied, I was not offended. Just judging her, and others (you could say).
People posting angry rants in Motivation and Support?
This is new and different.
She was angry. She posted an angry rant. Some people took offense to her rant. (She probably should have said her husband/boyfriend tells her she's 'looking so thin' and then everyone would have told her what a rude thing that is to say while she progresses on her journey/lifestyle change.) I'm not sure what point has been missed.
I never said it was new or different.
I just posted my opinions. That happens when people post threads.
Her wording was not about her personal self, It was about her judging other people.
I can understand if someone said that she looks so thin that she needs to eat a sandwich or something, that would be reason to be offended, in my opinion.
But, these are just my opinions. It's ok if we all have different opinions. I'm not here to argue with strangers.
So then you support the OP and others who don't want to be referred to as 'thin' in their choice to inform others that it's not a term they personally are okay with?
Ok. I don't really care what the OP does.
I will explain my stance on it with two scenarios.
If someone tells me that I look so thin or skinny and they are saying it looks bad and they want me to gain. Then, yes, I would feel insulted. because that's an insult.
I'm a dancer. If I am at dance rehearsal, and we are trying on costumes and sharing clothing. I try something on, and someone says, "I love that, it looks so good on you". And I say, "There is another one here, do you want to try it also?" And they say, "Oh no. It looks good on you because you are so skinny. That would not fit me." My thought is that I learned from mfp that skinny means all these horrendous horrible things, so in that case I do not think of myself as skinny. However. I am intelligent enough to know that the person saying it was having her own feelings about her body. And she was genuinely complimenting me. And she didn't mean the things that people on mfp say. And I am in the middle of a dance rehearsal, so I don't want to make a scene. So, instead I will say something like, "Aaaw, thanks", and then I will compliment her figure and explain how we have different figures. I have a smaller waist. She has slimmer legs. Sometimes later, if it comes up, I may explain some of my thoughts about the word skinny. But, I won't get angry at her. And besides, maybe people do consider me skinny. I don't care. I know they don't think I am emaciated or gross or whatever because that's not what I am. I am small, and slim, but I also have a curvy figure and I'm very healthy and fit. And I eat 2000 calories a day and lift heavy weights.
I'm not going to change my personality and start getting insulted when people say something they genuinely meant as a compliment. They said skinny and meant slender. They did not mean emaciated. Can you understand the distinctions I am making? I don't want to have to continue explaining this. I hope I have explained it well this time.
So. No?
You don't have to find it personally offended to accept that it might be offensive to someone else or support their right to speak up. If you believe we're all allowed to have our own opinions then does that not also mean the OP is entitled to her opinion? And is thusly allowed to 'rant' about how someone elses well meant comment makes her feel?
No one is asking you to change, but rather to accept that just because you think something is fine doesn't mean the OP has to think it's fine or let it slide. I'm not asking you to explain your position, I was fine with 'we're all allowed to have opinions' I'm just asking if that extends to you supporting people like the OP in expressing how certain words/terms make her feel.
I never said that she couldn't do that. But, why am I required to support her?
I do understand that she was trying to be helpful to young women. I respect that motivation. I do not think she was successful because she could have done it in a more balanced way that takes into account the diversity of young people (instead she did from a self-wounded motivation). That's my personal opinion. She doesn't have to do what I suggested. And I don't have to support her, either (whatever that even means).
Lets just have a discussion. Consider each other's view points. We don't need to change each other.
Is she saying she feels wounded by a certain standard? I will support her feelings about herself. I don't really support body shaming other people that are different from oneself, though. I just don't. If I felt bad about myself when I was younger, I'm not going to insult people with a different body from myself now.
You say it's okay to have different opinions but also that you can't understand her opinion and imply that if she was offended because of a certain reason it'd be fine but as is it's not enough. If you actually think that other opinions are okay then you could support (that is back up and not imply that she should be happy for a compliment she doesn't think is flattering) her choice to not appreciate it and yes, even rant about it.
To do so doesn't change your view, it just means you accept her's and don't feel like you need to judge it just because it isn't your own. I, personally, don't think she was body shaming. People should be allowed to express what they find to be beautiful without being told they're shaming others, unless we're now saying that only positive opinions can be shared.
And if that's the case...well that's a whole other can of worms.
I personally think that it was just bad wording. She phrased it as fact, not opinion. She definitively said, "thin isn't beautiful", which of course sounds like a completely jerk thing to say. And thin people already deal with a lot of stupid bashing. It's gotten better as the Body Acceptance movement has found it's stride, but it's still an issue. I feel like it's my responsibility to at least try to respectfully reach out if it sounds like someone hasn't gotten this particular memo.
However, if it's just her opinion, then cool. Whatever.
She prefaced everything with 'To Me'. I don't think she has to state 'to me/in my opinion' more than once to make it clear it's her opinion, but I suppose doing so may have been 'helpful' to some people. But not something she has to do; once should be enough. And again, she isn't obligated to think that certain bodies or all bodies are beautiful or obligated to not share that opinion, as long as she makes it known that's just her opinion. Saying I don't think X is beautiful doesn't mean I don't think people with X should not accept and love themselves, it just means I don't think it's beautiful.
The OP did have bad wording/formatting but it's kind of against the CG to get on her for bad communication skills so I won't say anything further on that.0 -
This will probably be lost among all of the OP bashing but I'll give it a shot. Those of us that are friends with the OP know that she is an incredibly sincere person. One that takes the time to personally support, motivate and build up each person on her FL. OP did not mean to offend anyone. This is just sad......
Replace all of the uses of the word thin with fat, and then post a thread like that, and see what happens.
I'm sure the OP is a wonderful person. I'm not judging her as a person. Just find this thought process a bit bizarre. I always have.
I'm just suggesting people think things through, and perhaps learn something.
Some times nice people, close friends suprise all of us with shows of intolerance, bias, bigotry, racism, whatever. One does not prevent the other in real life, sadly.
Also, I'm lol'ing here. OP drops a couple hand grenades then kicks back and lets people have the battlefield to snipe back and forth. Well played. I need to strategize like that.
This is true.0 -
I am sorry to have stepped away from my own thread................and I am sorry so many of you were not fond of my wording, and insulted by it. Unfortunately, I should have tasted my words from, and different point of view. Anyone who knows me.........knows my intentions were from a positive place from within myself, and based on my own life story, struggles, hills climb, and rocky paths traveled.
I work hard to not judge people, and I am a "we can agree to disagree kind of person". So hearing that so many of you felt I was making a judgement on another body type............! Had me take a step back, and asked myself if I was a sizeist? So to all of you who did that........ I truly thank you! I have grown as a person, because of my "sitting back, and watching the commentary commence" I take constructive criticisms, and I work to grow from them, rather then allow them to push me on my bottom, and not get back up.
I am a person who wants us all to find a healthy place for ourselves.
Growing up as a dancer.......... I heard all the time you are not thin enough to be a true ballet dancer. Your lines are not straight enough. You are too bulky. My mother and father worked to keep me from feeling the pressures of having self esteem issues from hearing negative things about my body type.
I am now nearly 5'7" and 189 lbs. Most people hear my weight, and think, There is no way you are that big!! I am, and I am glad for who I am because this is me NOW! Yes I want to flatten my tummy that I have put on since I forgot about myself years ago. (courtesy of caring for an alcoholic husband, that I carried until he was able to find solid footing of his own to stand on again. Between him, and caring for the other 9 people in my household, who depended on me for a roof, and food. I was the last person on my totem pole.)
My post, poorly worded for some.........was meant as a accept you for you now, and Love her...........work to improve her, make her healthy, but don't try to be who you are not.
In other words do not strive for an unhealthy "thin"..........strive for a "fit" YOU instead!
My opinion on myself not wanting to be "thin" b/c I would not see myself as beautiful "Thin"............Simply, I am made for extreme curves, and I see those as beautiful. I would see me as gaunt, and unhealthy if I was "thin", just as I saw myself as unhealthy "fat" if I tried to strive for what society says is acceptable for my body type.......well I am still considered "fat"
My intention was not to make a thinner person feel ugly...........(I truly am SO VERY sorry if that is what you took from it, and please consider this a personal apology.)
But they do say the, "The road to hell is paved by good intentions"
So I apologize for my unintentional insult, but it is still my opinion that curves are beautiful, and that stick thin is not (at least for me).
If I can pass on the message that young women should not do diets, or other things that are detrimental to their health to strive for .........Thin...........let's strive for fit and healthy instead.........even if that means you do not fit societies standards of beauty............ I don't, and I know this, but I am still happy with me!
While I am sure this will also be picked apart, and piss someone off...........one of my supporting friends said this to me....a quote by John Lydgate, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”
So this will be my last post on my own thread. I simply have nothing more to say.0 -
I am sorry to have stepped away from my own thread................and I am sorry so many of you were not fond of my wording, and insulted by it. Unfortunately, I should have tasted my words from, and different point of view. Anyone who knows me.........knows my intentions were from a positive place from within myself, and based on my own life story, struggles, hills climb, and rocky paths traveled.
I work hard to not judge people, and I am a "we can agree to disagree kind of person". So hearing that so many of you felt I was making a judgement on another body type............! Had me take a step back, and asked myself if I was a sizeist? So to all of you who did that........ I truly thank you! I have grown as a person, because of my "sitting back, and watching the commentary commence" I take constructive criticisms, and I work to grow from them, rather then allow them to push me on my bottom, and not get back up.
I am a person who wants us all to find a healthy place for ourselves.
Growing up as a dancer.......... I heard all the time you are not thin enough to be a true ballet dancer. Your lines are not straight enough. You are too bulky. My mother and father worked to keep me from feeling the pressures of having self esteem issues from hearing negative things about my body type.
I am now nearly 5'7" and 189 lbs. Most people hear my weight, and think, There is no way you are that big!! I am, and I am glad for who I am because this is me NOW! Yes I want to flatten my tummy that I have put on since I forgot about myself years ago. (courtesy of caring for an alcoholic husband, that I carried until he was able to find solid footing of his own to stand on again. Between him, and caring for the other 9 people in my household, who depended on me for a roof, and food. I was the last person on my totem pole.)
My post, poorly worded for some.........was meant as a accept you for you now, and Love her...........work to improve her, make her healthy, but don't try to be who you are not.
In other words do not strive for an unhealthy "thin"..........strive for a "fit" YOU instead!
My opinion on myself not wanting to be "thin" b/c I would not see myself as beautiful "Thin"............Simply, I am made for extreme curves, and I see those as beautiful. I would see me as gaunt, and unhealthy if I was "thin", just as I saw myself as unhealthy "fat" if I tried to strive for what society says is acceptable for my body type.......well I am still considered "fat"
My intention was not to make a thinner person feel ugly...........(I truly am SO VERY sorry if that is what you took from it, and please consider this a personal apology.)
But they do say the, "The road to hell is paved by good intentions"
So I apologize for my unintentional insult, but it is still my opinion that curves are beautiful, and that stick thin is not (at least for me).
If I can pass on the message that young women should not do diets, or other things that are detrimental to their health to strive for .........Thin...........let's strive for fit and healthy instead.........even if that means you do not fit societies standards of beauty............ I don't, and I know this, but I am still happy with me!
While I am sure this will also be picked apart, and piss someone off...........one of my supporting friends said this to me....a quote by John Lydgate, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”
So this will be my last post on my own thread. I simply have nothing more to say.
I whole heartedly agree with all of this and I understand your original post. well put.0 -
Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?
For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?
Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.
There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.
This.0 -
Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?
For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?
Firstly, anorexia is a mental illness not a body type. Secondly, no I would never tell an anorexic person they are ugly.
There are ways to express an opinion without disparaging others. The OP did not do that and rightfully got called out. Body shaming harms people and is not okay. For anyone. Not your body? Not your business.
This.
Hallelujah.0 -
I am sorry to have stepped away from my own thread................and I am sorry so many of you were not fond of my wording, and insulted by it. Unfortunately, I should have tasted my words from, and different point of view. Anyone who knows me.........knows my intentions were from a positive place from within myself, and based on my own life story, struggles, hills climb, and rocky paths traveled.
I work hard to not judge people, and I am a "we can agree to disagree kind of person". So hearing that so many of you felt I was making a judgement on another body type............! Had me take a step back, and asked myself if I was a sizeist? So to all of you who did that........ I truly thank you! I have grown as a person, because of my "sitting back, and watching the commentary commence" I take constructive criticisms, and I work to grow from them, rather then allow them to push me on my bottom, and not get back up.
I am a person who wants us all to find a healthy place for ourselves.
Growing up as a dancer.......... I heard all the time you are not thin enough to be a true ballet dancer. Your lines are not straight enough. You are too bulky. My mother and father worked to keep me from feeling the pressures of having self esteem issues from hearing negative things about my body type.
I am now nearly 5'7" and 189 lbs. Most people hear my weight, and think, There is no way you are that big!! I am, and I am glad for who I am because this is me NOW! Yes I want to flatten my tummy that I have put on since I forgot about myself years ago. (courtesy of caring for an alcoholic husband, that I carried until he was able to find solid footing of his own to stand on again. Between him, and caring for the other 9 people in my household, who depended on me for a roof, and food. I was the last person on my totem pole.)
My post, poorly worded for some.........was meant as a accept you for you now, and Love her...........work to improve her, make her healthy, but don't try to be who you are not.
In other words do not strive for an unhealthy "thin"..........strive for a "fit" YOU instead!
My opinion on myself not wanting to be "thin" b/c I would not see myself as beautiful "Thin"............Simply, I am made for extreme curves, and I see those as beautiful. I would see me as gaunt, and unhealthy if I was "thin", just as I saw myself as unhealthy "fat" if I tried to strive for what society says is acceptable for my body type.......well I am still considered "fat"
My intention was not to make a thinner person feel ugly...........(I truly am SO VERY sorry if that is what you took from it, and please consider this a personal apology.)
But they do say the, "The road to hell is paved by good intentions"
So I apologize for my unintentional insult, but it is still my opinion that curves are beautiful, and that stick thin is not (at least for me).
If I can pass on the message that young women should not do diets, or other things that are detrimental to their health to strive for .........Thin...........let's strive for fit and healthy instead.........even if that means you do not fit societies standards of beauty............ I don't, and I know this, but I am still happy with me!
While I am sure this will also be picked apart, and piss someone off...........one of my supporting friends said this to me....a quote by John Lydgate, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”
So this will be my last post on my own thread. I simply have nothing more to say.
This was well-said. Thank you for the clarification. I tried to express my worries while still giving you the benefit of the doubt. A lot of people just use "thin" as a derogatory statement, just as a lot of people use it as a positive one. Really, it's just a shape! I wish it didn't carry bad connotations, because it sucks for any body type to carry negative connotations at all!
Have a lovely day, and thank you for your post.0 -
It's pretty simple what she said. skinny and not fit is not sexy. I completely agree. I've been thin and I've been in shape. I prefer to be in shape. Nothing to argue about.0
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♡♡♡♡ I appreciated your reply. I'm not going to pick you apart. I have been through very difficult things in my life as well.
Also, I mentioned that I am a dancer. I meant contemporary dance. And in this dance form there is no pressure, all body types are welcome. I stopped doing ballet when I was 17.0 -
But but but...
"to me"
You just quoted the quote that proves you wrong. She stated that that was her opinion by saying "to me."0 -
The horse is dead. Stop beating him.0
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