Your stupidest joke

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Replies

  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    how do you catch a unique rabbit?


    Unique up on him.
  • mandyschalk
    mandyschalk Posts: 93 Member
    How do you get an elephant into a grocery store?

    You take the "S" out of "safe" and the "F" out of "way"


    ........................................

















    Wait! There is no F in WAY!

    Ok so I might have a few tears right about now!!
  • Fesse
    Fesse Posts: 611
    How do you say three cat's drowned in french?

    un deux trois quatre cinq (reads.... un, deux, trois CAT SANK) LOL
  • ImmortalWings17
    ImmortalWings17 Posts: 117 Member
    Where do the football players go to plan their plays?


    The huddle house....
  • lady95
    lady95 Posts: 46
    Did you know Beethoven is still making music? He's now de-composing!

    (Groan)
  • 1234lbsgone
    1234lbsgone Posts: 296 Member
    What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow???


    Brown chicken brown cow.... (To the tune of bowchickawowow)
  • DrBorkBork
    DrBorkBork Posts: 4,099 Member
    Hey, wanna hear a funny joke?
    Sure!
    Me too.
  • KayakAngel
    KayakAngel Posts: 397 Member
    One more:

    Blonde: I get really tired of people thinking I'm stupid. I am not stupid. I'm actually really smart. I know all the state capitals.
    Friend: Really? Awesome.
    Blonde: Yeah, try me.
    Friend: OK - capital of Mississippi?
    Blonde: Easy. It's M.
  • 1234lbsgone
    1234lbsgone Posts: 296 Member
    Why did Spongebob visit Detroit?

    To see Kwamee Kill Patrick
  • hazelnutflav
    hazelnutflav Posts: 391 Member
    from one marine to another.

    "what do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?"

    take the pin out and throw it back :)
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    Blonde called the fire department because her house was on fire.

    The fireman asks, "How do we get there?"


    Sahe said, "DUH big red truck!
  • 1234lbsgone
    1234lbsgone Posts: 296 Member
    Why did the ant crawl up the elephants leg the second time?

    Because he got pissed off the first time.
  • TentionSpeak
    TentionSpeak Posts: 16
    What did the grape do when it was stepped on?

    It let out a little whine.
  • mzbrandyluv
    mzbrandyluv Posts: 103
    Q: Why don't Dinosaurs talk?

    A: Because they're dead

    :laugh:


    Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

    A: Where's my tractor?

    :blushing:
  • ImmortalWings17
    ImmortalWings17 Posts: 117 Member
    This one is my mom's but I'll tell it:)
    Sorry if I offend someone...

    A blond was driving down the road. She stops beside a field seeing another blond in a boat. She gets out of the car and screams out to her, "What are you doing you ninny?"
    The other blond look at her surprise but yells a reply, "I'm rowing in a sea of wheat!"
    The first blond was enraged and let her have it,"It's you that give us blonds a bad name..... And if I could swim I'd come out there and....." Well you get the picture:)
  • ridiculyss
    ridiculyss Posts: 108 Member
    One my 10 year old brother told me awhile back...

    Why did Tigger look in the toilet?

    He was looking for Pooh! :tongue:
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    The above reminded me of this one:

    What did spock find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

    The Captain's Log.
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    Why do monkeys eat with their tails?

    Because they can't take them off.
  • theomar
    theomar Posts: 3 Member
    Okay, you asked for it.

    Can you tell me how long cows are milked?

    Ready?

    Same as short ones!!
  • ridiculyss
    ridiculyss Posts: 108 Member
    May contain some stereotyping. I don't mean to offend anyone and I apologize if I do.

    Three men were out hiking. They came across a land that hadn't yet been discovered/inhabited. They decided to give the place a name. Since they couldn't settle on what to name it, they decided to draw letters of the alphabet out of a hat.

    The first man drew and said, "I got a C, eh"

    The second man drew and said, "I got an N, eh"

    The third man drew his letter and said, "I got a D, eh."

    :tongue:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    there is no need to apologize for Canadian jokes! "They're not even a real country anyway!" LOL
  • SunLovin1
    SunLovin1 Posts: 682 Member
    Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

    Because it was dead.
  • mamijujuphat
    mamijujuphat Posts: 407 Member
    How do you say three cat's drowned in french?

    un deux trois quatre cinq (reads.... un, deux, trois CAT SANK) LOL



    hahaha... that made me lold:laugh:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    how did the dead baby get across the road?

    Stapled to the chicken
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    why is a truckload of dead babies better than a truckload of bowling balls?

    You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    What do you call a cow with three legs?

    Tri-tip.

    What do you call a cow with two legs?

    Lean beef.

    What do you call a cow with one leg?

    Steak.

    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef.
  • Taylora94
    Taylora94 Posts: 43 Member
    Girl 1: " What does IDK mean?"
    Girl 2: " I don't know"
    Girl 1: " Oh my gosh nobody knows what it means!"
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    what do you call:

    a girl with one leg?
    Eileen

    an asian girl with one leg?
    Irene

    A man with no legs?
    Matt

    A man with no legs, hanging on the wall?
    Art

    a man with no legs, in a pool?
    Bob
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    I am SO impressed that nobody has gotten mad at me yet! LOL
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
    Why don't skeletons go to scary movies?

    They don't have the guts for it!
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