Your stupidest joke

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Replies

  • mamijujuphat
    mamijujuphat Posts: 407 Member
    This joke was on Eddie Murphy's "Raw" comedy it was one of his "innocent" :smile: jokes

    A bear & a rabbit were crapping in the woods
    the bear turns around & says to the rabbit :
    "Mr. rabbit do you have any trouble wit crap sticking to your fur?"
    the rabbit says:
    "why no!"
    so the bear wipes his a&& with the rabbit :tongue:
  • BrandiPants
    BrandiPants Posts: 41 Member
    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    Because it was dead!

    Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?

    Because it was stapled to the monkey!
  • reepobob
    reepobob Posts: 1,172 Member
    Did you hear about the constipated mathmatician?

    ...he worked it out with a pencil...
  • KierstyPants
    KierstyPants Posts: 468 Member
    There are a few i don't get.

    I feel so dumb.
  • ridiculyss
    ridiculyss Posts: 108 Member
    Three men went to the Church to confess their sins.

    The first man goes to the Father.
    "Father, please forgive me for I have sinned."
    The Father asks "What have you done?"
    "I lied to my wife."
    The Father tells him "Drink from the Holy water and you shall be forgiven."
    The man does as he is told.

    The second man goes to the Father.
    "Father please forgive me for I have sinned"
    "What did you do?"
    "I robbed a bank and stole a car."
    The Father tells him as well to drink from the Holy water and he will be saved.

    The third man goes to the Father and tells him he has sinned.
    "What have you done?"
    "I peed in the Holy water."
  • BrandiPants
    BrandiPants Posts: 41 Member
    Two muffins are in a microwave. One muffin says to the other "Oh my God, its hot in here"
    The other muffin says "Oh my God, a talking muffin!
  • DrBorkBork
    DrBorkBork Posts: 4,099 Member
    There are a few i don't get.

    I feel so dumb.

    Which ones? Maybe I can help you out.
  • BrandiPants
    BrandiPants Posts: 41 Member
    What do you call a twitching cow?

    Beef jerky!
  • KierstyPants
    KierstyPants Posts: 468 Member
    I saw this on tv- some reality show on Bravo- Millionaire Matchmaker i belive is the name of it. Either way:
    Why can't you hear bunny rabbits making love????
    B/c they have cotton balls:laugh:

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
    I died.
  • ridiculyss
    ridiculyss Posts: 108 Member
    what do you call:

    a girl with one leg?
    Eileen

    an asian girl with one leg?
    Irene

    A man with no legs?
    Matt

    A man with no legs, hanging on the wall?
    Art

    a man with no legs, in a pool?
    Bob

    LOL at Irene!! hahahaa these are so bad! :tongue:
  • KierstyPants
    KierstyPants Posts: 468 Member
    i am a little bit ditsy and clumsy (just a warning)... and i don't mean to offend anyone with my joke...


    "Some popular girls said my name today after i tripped in the hallway... They said i sped, but i didn't go very fast...."

    that one.
  • Tzavush
    Tzavush Posts: 389 Member
    how do you catch a unique rabbit?


    Unique up on him.
    How do you catch a tame rabbit?

    Tame way!
  • Tzavush
    Tzavush Posts: 389 Member
    what do you call:

    a girl with one leg?
    Eileen

    an asian girl with one leg?
    Irene

    A man with no legs?
    Matt

    A man with no legs, hanging on the wall?
    Art

    a man with no legs, in a pool?
    Bob

    LOL at Irene!! hahahaa these are so bad! :tongue:

    What do you call a man withno arms and no legs on a stage?
    Mike
    ... a guy with no arms and no legs with a shovel on his head?
    Doug
    ... a guy with no arms and no legs with no shovel on his head?
    Douglas
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    i am a little bit ditsy and clumsy (just a warning)... and i don't mean to offend anyone with my joke...


    "Some popular girls said my name today after i tripped in the hallway... They said i sped, but i didn't go very fast...."

    that one.

    "sped" is a (not so nice) nickname for SPecial EDucation
    (teachers would get it but probably not many other people would) don't feel dumb!
  • BrandiPants
    BrandiPants Posts: 41 Member
    If a girl with big boobs works at hooters, where does a girl with one leg work?

    Ihop!
  • Tzavush
    Tzavush Posts: 389 Member
    The above reminded me of this one:

    What did spock find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

    The Captain's Log.
    Reminds me of... What do the Enterprise and Toilet paper have in common...?

    They both circle Uranus (your *kitten*) looking for Klingons (cling ons)
  • KierstyPants
    KierstyPants Posts: 468 Member
    i am a little bit ditsy and clumsy (just a warning)... and i don't mean to offend anyone with my joke...


    "Some popular girls said my name today after i tripped in the hallway... They said i sped, but i didn't go very fast...."

    that one.

    "sped" is a (not so nice) nickname for SPecial EDucation
    (teachers would get it but probably not many other people would) don't feel dumb!

    OHHHH.
    LOL. thank you (:
  • BrandiPants
    BrandiPants Posts: 41 Member
    What did the '0' say to the '8'?

    Nice belt!
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    why was 6 afraid of 7?

    Because 7 8 9

    (seven ate nine)
  • ridiculyss
    ridiculyss Posts: 108 Member
    A redneck family goes to the mall. They're clueless about the city. The father sees an elevator. He and his family are fascinated, and they watch as an old lady goes up to the elevator, pushes the button, and walks inside. Thirty seconds later, a young beautiful, blonde woman comes out. The father says, "I'm going back home and getting Grandma."
  • ridiculyss
    ridiculyss Posts: 108 Member
    You might be a redneck if you....
    Go to a family reunion looking for a date.
  • Sunshine_Girlie
    Sunshine_Girlie Posts: 618 Member
    What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    --No idear [No eyed deer].

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
    --Still no idear [ still no eye deer].

    A little boy had to use the restroom, but his teacher wouldn't let him unless he said the alphabet. The little boy responds, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher looked a little confused and told him he forgot the 'p' was and he said, "It's running down my leg."
  • Vixxta
    Vixxta Posts: 31
    How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

    Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.
  • aaddaammggoolleeaaffss
    aaddaammggoolleeaaffss Posts: 230
    what do you call cheese that's not yours?
    nacho cheese :)

    Haha, love this one
  • KierstyPants
    KierstyPants Posts: 468 Member
    How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

    Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.

    HAHAHAHAH.
    best joke ever.
  • nurse_christieyne
    nurse_christieyne Posts: 231
    What do you call a lady with one leg??


    Eileen
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. That's a hardware problem.
  • SMarie10
    SMarie10 Posts: 956 Member
    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead...
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    how many blondes does it take to change the light bulb?

    three. One to hold the light bulb and two to turn the ladder.





    How many narcissists?

    Only one, he holds onto the bulb and the whole world revolves around him.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    What do you call a lady with one leg??


    Eileen

    unless she is asian...then she's Irene
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