Your stupidest joke

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  • FearOfFrying
    FearOfFrying Posts: 127 Member
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    A man goes in to a pet shop and asks to buy a pet wasp, "don't be silly sir, we don't sell pet wasps".........well said the man, you have one in the window....:bigsmile:
  • Crooks0204
    Crooks0204 Posts: 189
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    There are a few i don't get.

    I feel so dumb.


    :huh: me too!!!!!
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    What do you call a cow with three legs?

    Tri-tip.

    What do you call a cow with two legs?

    Lean beef.

    What do you call a cow with one leg?

    Steak.

    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef.

    I'm taking a late lunch and almost spit my food out. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
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    Guess what?........................................................................................ Chicken butt................................
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    what do you call:

    a girl with one leg?
    Eileen

    an asian girl with one leg?
    Irene

    A man with no legs?
    Matt

    A man with no legs, hanging on the wall?
    Art

    a man with no legs, in a pool?
    Bob

    Irene! :laugh: :laugh: Reminds me of the old movie, can't remember what it's called, but it's about a great dane that is raised with dachsunds and thinks he's a dachsund also. During a dinner party one of the Asian guys thinks the great dane is a lion and he yells, "RION!, RION!" Cracks me up! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • BamBam1113
    BamBam1113 Posts: 542 Member
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    A sloth called for the police because he had just been mugged by 3 turtles. When the police got there they asked the sloth if he got a good look at the assailants. The sloth said, "It......all......happened......so......fast."
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    My eleven year old asked me to contribute his favorite joke:

    How did the blonde try to kill a bird?

    She threw it off a cliff.

    Oh my land! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Zaggytiddies
    Zaggytiddies Posts: 326 Member
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    I love stupid jokes.... Or joke that are more fun to tell than to hear.

    1) What's green and has wheels?








    Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

    2) What's the difference between an elephant and a grape?






    A grape is purple.


    3)What's worse than stubbing your toe?

    Cancer! (and this one requires you to cut the person off as they say, "I don't know.")

    High-larious!

    I kill me!
  • djthom
    djthom Posts: 651 Member
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    what do you call:

    a girl with one leg?
    Eileen

    an asian girl with one leg?
    Irene

    A man with no legs?
    Matt

    A man with no legs, hanging on the wall?
    Art

    a man with no legs, in a pool?
    Bob

    What do you call a girl with a wooden leg?
    Peg

    What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hot tub?
    Stew
  • Kolohe71
    Kolohe71 Posts: 613 Member
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    Reporter: Chief, I noticed that all of your braves have different numbers of feathers in their head-dresses. What does that mean?
    Chief: You see young Climbing Vine? He have 1 feather, mean he f'em 1 squaw. And Soaring Eagle? He have 5 feather, mean he f'em 5 squaw.
    Reporter: But chief, you have that huge head-dress with tons of feathers. What does that mean?
    Chief: Me big chief, so I get f'em ALL the squaws!
    Reporter: Oh dear! That is horrible!
    Chief: No, no deer, @ss too high... run too fast!
  • Vixxta
    Vixxta Posts: 31
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    Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist?

    He doesn't believe in Dog.
  • jlzrdking
    jlzrdking Posts: 501 Member
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    Q: What building has the most stories?

    A: The library



    Q: What's brown and sounds like a bell?

    A: Dung
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
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    Reporter: Chief, I noticed that all of your braves have different numbers of feathers in their head-dresses. What does that mean?
    Chief: You see young Climbing Vine? He have 1 feather, mean he f'em 1 squaw. And Soaring Eagle? He have 5 feather, mean he f'em 5 squaw.
    Reporter: But chief, you have that huge head-dress with tons of feathers. What does that mean?
    Chief: Me big chief, so I get f'em ALL the squaws!
    Reporter: Oh dear! That is horrible!
    Chief: No, no deer, @ss too high... run too fast!



    hahahahahahahahahahaha
  • TexasNurseMom78
    TexasNurseMom78 Posts: 897 Member
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    Why was 6 afraid of 7?


    Because 7 8 9 !!!
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick!
  • leilaphoenix
    leilaphoenix Posts: 839 Member
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    A blonde walked into a bar.
  • cnance
    cnance Posts: 92 Member
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    This is the only dirty joke I've ever told my daughter... she hates it, but its perfect for kids around 8yo.

    Me: Wanna hear a dirty joke?

    Kid: Yeah.

    Me: A clean white horse fell in the mud.
  • JEK717
    JEK717 Posts: 1,497
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    This was developed as an age test by an R&D department at Harvard University.
    Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

    The average person over 40 years old can't do it! (I challenge you!)

    1. This is this cat.
    2. This is is cat.
    3. This is how cat.
    4. This is to cat.
    5. This is keep cat.
    6. This is an cat.
    7. This is old cat.
    8. This is fart cat.
    9. This is busy cat.
    10. This is for cat.
    11. This is forty cat.
    12. This is seconds cat.

    Now go back and read aloud the third word in each line from the top down...BAHAHAHAHA Ti-Hee:tongue:
  • Kirsty_UK
    Kirsty_UK Posts: 964 Member
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    What do you call a three legged donkey?

    A wonkey donkey

    What do you call a three legged donkey with a bad eye?

    A winky wonkey donkey

    What do you call a three legged donkey with a bad eye that smells?

    A stinky winky wonkey donkey

    What do you call a three legged donkey with a bad eye that smells and plays the piano?

    A plinky plonky stinky winky wonkey donkey

    What do you call a three legged donkey with a bad eye that smells and plays the piano in a country music bar?

    A honky tonky plinky plonky stinky winky wonkey donkey

    phew!
  • flausa
    flausa Posts: 534 Member
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    What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs?


    Doesn't matter, he won't come when you call him.

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