Your stupidest joke

Options
1…79111213

Replies

  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
    Options
    I was on holiday recently and noticed there were lots of eastern europeans working at the hotel. It took the cleaner a whole afternoon to hoover the room. Turns out she was a slovac

    haha this made me laugh too..

    Man I will have to think of my favorite stupid joke...........................................................................I'll be back.......................................
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,360 Member
    Options
    How does the blond turn on the light after having sex?

    Open the car door.
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,360 Member
    Options
    How much did the pirate pay for his ear rings?


    Buck an ear!
  • Dcgfeller
    Dcgfeller Posts: 83
    Options
    Q: Why don't Dinosaurs talk?

    A: Because they're dead

    :laugh:


    Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

    A: Where's my tractor?

    :blushing:

    Why the hell am I laughing so hard at these 2. They are like anti-jokes.
  • sewerchick93
    sewerchick93 Posts: 1,440 Member
    Options
    when geese are flying in a vee formation, why is one side of the vee longer than the other?

    because there are more geese on that side :laugh:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Options
    when geese are flying in a vee formation, why is one side of the vee longer than the other?

    because there are more geese on that side :laugh:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Now that one just cracked me up. For some reason it just made me think of my older sister. Like it's the type of joke she would tell I guess. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    I just texted that joke to all three of my sisters. :laugh: :laugh:
  • Twylyght
    Twylyght Posts: 224 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry but this makes me laugh so hard everytime!!

    How do you make a dead baby float?



    Take your foot off of it's head
  • fitfreshfierce
    fitfreshfierce Posts: 32
    Options
    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick.

    Aw, you stole mile! Lol.

    What's green and has wheels?




    A frog, I was lying about the wheels.
    (My friend gets me every time with that one)
  • ket_the_jet
    ket_the_jet Posts: 1,257 Member
    Options
    How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?




    Two, if they're small enough.

    Cheers.
    -wtk
  • Swimgoddess
    Swimgoddess Posts: 711 Member
    Options
    I like my men like I like my coffee...





    ...ground up and in the freezer.
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
    Options
    what did the police officer say to the stomach?

    A: You're under a vest!

    :huh:
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
    Options
    Q: what do you call a guy with a seagull on his head?
    A: Cliff

    Q: what do you call a guy with a garden spade on his head?
    A: Doug

    Q: what do you call a man without a spade on his head?
    A: Douglas

    I asked my H2B for clean jokes and we came up with NADA! :ohwell:
  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
    Options
    What do you call a cow laying down? Ground beef
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
    Options
    What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    --No idear [No eyed deer].

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
    --Still no idear [ still no eye deer].

    What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no genitals

    Still, no f*%king idea
  • jalapenos
    jalapenos Posts: 345 Member
    Options
    this might offend (so I apologize)but I guess it's really funny to me since my DH is a cop.... read at your own risk! lol




    While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?" to which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

    The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work
    from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."

    "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot *kitten*?" he asked. "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

    Traffic Ticket $95.00
    Court Costs. $45.00
    The Look on Cop's Face. PRICELESS
  • Contrary03
    Contrary03 Posts: 289 Member
    Options
    Guy walks into a psychologist office wearing nothing but cling-wrap.... psychologist takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts"!!!
    Bahahahahaha:laugh:
  • Run4iiiiiit
    Run4iiiiiit Posts: 489 Member
    Options
    what do you say to a one legged hitch hiker? hop in.

    2 eggs, 2 strips of bacon, and 2 pancakes walk into a bar...bartender looks up and says sorry, we don't serve breakfast here.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    Options
    I hope this wasn't posted! It is from the movie Blue Valentine:

    A child molester and a little boy walk deep into a forest at night. The man is holding the little boys hand and they go further and further, it is getting darker and darker. The only thing they hear is the sticks crunching beneath their feet. Still darker and darker. The little boy says to the child molester, "Mister, I am getting scared", the man says to the boy, "you think you're scared, I have to walk outta here alone!"

    cue for laughet, ahahhahahaha.

    Totally inappropriate, but so funny...
  • angelicdisgrace
    angelicdisgrace Posts: 2,071 Member
    Options
    How does lady gaga like her meat?

    Raw raw rawraw
  • vladikavkaz
    vladikavkaz Posts: 137 Member
    Options

    Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

    A: Where's my tractor?


    On a similar note...

    Did you hear about the magic tractor?

    It turned into a field.

Categories