The meanest thing anyone has ever said.....

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  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
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    Okay...everyone will probably hate me now. My husband of almost 32 years can also be a real jerk at times. But some men just don't have a nice way to say the truth.....being fat is a turn off and you need to do this for you, but he is maybe critical because he wants you to be healthy - men can be very hurtful...sometimes the truth hurts - we all need to grow a thicker skin at times. OK - please please please don't hate me - I just think he got you to start taking care of you - but not very nicely! AARGH!
    Truth can sting, but the thing is that he didn't just call her fat or unattractive. He said no one would marry her. That's not really the truth, is it? Unless he's asked every guy on the planet, he can't make that kind of a claim.

    I'm all for growing a thicker skin, but that goes hand in hand with tact. Communication is a two-way street... you need to uphold virtue from both sides; you need the balance.

    I don't hate you, so don't worry :) I just think she made the right decision to leave him. He may have been simply trying to encourage her to lose weight, but think about it. If he's going to be like this every time he brings up a difficult topic, is this really a man you want to live with for the rest of your life? Would you really want to put up with verbal abuse (however good in intent) for a lifetime?
  • jeff261159
    jeff261159 Posts: 385
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    Hello Everyone,

    Today I start my diet. Just like everyone else here....I hope we are successful and make goals. I'm here because my boyfriend last week said to me. I would not marry you at the size you are now. But I know you COULD BE beautiful. Then he said....Let's get real....You can get anyone to "screw you"....but no one will marry you, cause your fat. Well he is now blocked from my phone and I'm not doing this for him. I'm doing this for ME. I don't have tons of friends so I'm looking forward to this website because I know people will understand the struggles that I am facing. I am definately a person who "eats for what's eating me". But I hope by the posts I read from others it keeps me motivated. So good luck to everyone and stay POSITIVE!!!! Pam

    sounds like he was the most important bit of weight you are going to lose. Sometiimes im ashamed to be a bloke!!
  • 78_kasia
    78_kasia Posts: 27
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    Wow! Keep in mind its easier for you to lose weight than it is for your exboyfriend to grow a heart.
    Glad you got rid of him. You deserve much much much better.
    Wishing you best of luck.
  • mizbuth
    mizbuth Posts: 4
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    YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Sending weight-loss blessings your way!!
  • rmsrws
    rmsrws Posts: 639 Member
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    Oh My! I started reading and thought what an A**! Then I was thinking what kind of woman would allow a man to treat her with such disrespect! Then I was relieved that you ditched him! I as well, was someone who ate what was eating me! You need to dig deep and find out why you are an emotional eater. It will give you a better sense of who you are and not set you up for failure. When you use food for that emotional fix, it is a hard habit to break! Instant gratification is such a wonderful thing!

    Stay strong, and remember no food tastes as good as you are going to feel when you start dropping weight. Also don't look at this as a "Diet"! You are making a life style change!

    Eat to Live, not, Live to Eat!

    Best Wishes!
  • Shae3891
    Shae3891 Posts: 53 Member
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    Ist Congrats to you for being smat enough to let him go now before it gets any worse, becuase it would have. Every woman regardless of size deserves someone who loves them and makes them feel beautiful. And 2nd Congrats and taking such a positive step for YOU! It will take time to get to where you want to be, but just remember you probably didn't get to where you are overnight either. And weightloss is about a lot more than losing pounds, it's about gaining yourself and loving who you are.

    Take pride in how far you've come and have faith in how far you will go....This first step has already taken you a long way.
  • diverchic73
    diverchic73 Posts: 314 Member
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    You lost the most important weight of all right off the start (how much did he weigh?)

    That's exactly what I was thinking! You are well rid of him and deserve to be treated so much better!

    Just look forward to the day when you see him, and he wants you back, and you just say 'no, but thatnk you for your comments, they inspired me to become a much healthier and happier person then I could have been with you.'

    Hugs
  • jocewar
    jocewar Posts: 27 Member
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    I went out with someone once that told me he settled for me, but while we were together he would see another girl walking and say he would do anything to have a hot chick like that. But I was young and dumb and wasted time (and money) on him and in the end he did dump me, but karma is a ***** and life has been kicking him in the junk since, and I moved on to meet the most fantastic caring man and have 3 beautiful kids with him, and everytime I see the other, I shudder and think how lucky I am now. I hope you kicked his *kitten*. LOL!
  • loseit65
    loseit65 Posts: 47
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    UG! thats all i have to say to him!!!, I wish you much success in your weight loss Journey, Good Luck , Kim :)
  • erniemj
    erniemj Posts: 187 Member
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    I would have told him, you know you are right I am fat and no one will marry me until I lose the weight, but you are stupid, and I don't think you can fix that, so go F* yourself! :)
  • thayna123
    thayna123 Posts: 13
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    What a jerk!
  • finnerty27
    finnerty27 Posts: 1 Member
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    What a chump. Thank God youve got your head screwed on...some woman take that kind of s*%t everyday and dont bat an eyelid. Good on you and good luck for your weight loss! Xx
  • askme12
    askme12 Posts: 155 Member
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    Wow... It sucks you had to deal with someone like that! Glad to see your ready to leave all that behind and move forward for yourself! Just know you have a lot of people pulling for you. Good Luck and stay positive!!!
  • emeraldpearl
    emeraldpearl Posts: 60 Member
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    omg he dont deserve you.....love yourself and know that you are a wonderful person>>>>>move he **** on!!!!!
  • emeraldpearl
    emeraldpearl Posts: 60 Member
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    sorry if men are all jerks then im going to women>>>>>>>>>SO NOT TRUE
  • jsmith68
    jsmith68 Posts: 2 Member
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    What a terrible, terrible person!!! One of my best friends just divorced her husband of 20+ years for many reasons, one of which was, "if you would just lose weight I wouldn't have to cheat on you".....Hope you and she both lose all the weight you desire to lose and rub their noses in it.
  • jsmith68
    jsmith68 Posts: 2 Member
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    What a terrible, terrible person!!! One of my best friends just divorced her husband of 20+ years for many reasons, one of which was, "if you would just lose weight I wouldn't have to cheat on you".....Hope you and she both lose all the weight you desire to lose and rub their noses in it.
  • georgiagorwell
    georgiagorwell Posts: 101
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    Good riddance to him! You will lose the weight and in the future your husband will look at a photo of you at your current weight and say tell you how he wishes he had known you back then and been able to tell you how beautiful you are!
  • lcurrier
    lcurrier Posts: 3
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    Getting rid of him is the best weight you'll ever lose!!! I guess he thinks wedding vows should say "in good times only,for richer and in health". so if he gets married and develops an illness that alters his appearance or physical capabilities (God forbid) then he feels he should be abandoned? WOW! He is really immature and obviously you deserve much much better. You are going to do great with your weight loss. You're ready to do this for yourself! You seem so motivated. Use this sight to help you when you feel discouraged. It will work. A few months from now you are going to be in such a better place that you won't even remember that guys name!!
  • meetpapa
    meetpapa Posts: 20
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    WOW!. Glad you blocked him. I also had some one like that in my life before. I know how you feel. I started this program 4 days ago and lost 2 pounds already,. Make sure you workout. Good luck and welcome to MFP.

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