Strip clubs for married men?
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If their prioritys are in order they will NOT want to be anywhere near a strip club. I 100% disagree with anyone participating in them married or not. That stuff is not for everyones eyes... cover yourself up!0
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We go together .. neither of us have been without the other. It can be a fun night out sometimes.0
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If their prioritys are in order they will NOT want to be anywhere near a strip club. I 100% disagree with anyone participating in them married or not. That stuff is not for everyones eyes... cover yourself up!
Thank you.
I remember having an argument with my husband when we were dating because I made a comment about strip clubs. Not that he was a big supporter, he just didn't see the big deal.
A week later he was invited to a friends birthday and when the phone call came in, he said "why do I need to go to a club? Look what I have here" and he hung up.
That was the last strip club discussion we had in our 4 years together.... he doesn't go to bars, clubs, anything....
He's a husband and a dad, those are his main priorities... and for fun he works on cars or goes to tracks with the guys... no need to be watching naked women parade around... and when I go out I give him the same respect.0 -
My strip club story--
Couple years ago, went to a club here in town with my Brother in Law. The Acropolis. Well established. Not too seedy. Fun. We sat down at the stage. I had a wad of ones. I'm pretty friendly. When I say friendly, I mean I don't make lewd comments of proposition the dancers. And I ALWAYS tip. My brother in klaw, Tom, thinks he's a ladie's man. So...there's a very pretty, voluptuous, blonde dancing in front of us. Older. She is on her third song and down to her panties. On either side of her panties, there is a small ornamental lock. Show only. Tom says something and the gal leans in towards him. He repeats himself. Leering, he says: "I wish I had the key to those locks." She ignores him, strips the panties off, leans over to me, takes my hand and places her wadded up panties in my hand. Then leans in real close and says: "YOU wouldn't need a key." Lips right against my ear. Very sexy. Sent shivers up my spine Pissed off Tom
Anyways, finishes her set and leaves the stage. I still have her panties.
Another girl comes on. After a couple songs the original gal comes out, sits next to me, introduces herself and buys me a drink. Tom is seething, cuz, he's the ladies man, not me. We have a drink, chat through a couple songs and she gets up to leave. As she gets up, I reach out to hand her her panties. She leans into my ear and says, "You keep those. They're for you." And smiles. I whisper, hoarsely, "I don't think my wife will let me keep them." She makes a pouty face, takes the panties back, gives me a kiss on the top of my head and walks out the front door, smiling.
Tom couldn't imagine a world where he was rebuffed and I was complimented. He eventually divorced my sister, but I love telling that story.0 -
Absolutely not ok, unless of course BOTH people think its ok. It's all about respect, and if you go to a strip club to watch some other woman dance nude, then you aren't respecting your partner.
^^LOVE THIS^^ Couldn't have said it better myself!0 -
My opinion is that if it's once-in-awhile-special-occassion and there are NO lap dances or touching involved... still not okay :laugh:
edited to add: This is how I feel in MY relationship. I really don't care what anyone else thinks, and belive that every relationship is different and some couples are fine with strip clubs. I'm not one of them.0 -
Absolutely nothing wrong with them at all, hell it might just spice things up a bit.
You can shop, just but can't buy.0 -
As long as no touching is involved and both parties know about it and approve, it is fine. Personally I would let my husband go if he wanted to as long as he is honest with me. Fortunately for me, he doesn't want to and would rather have me! :blushing:0
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If their prioritys are in order they will NOT want to be anywhere near a strip club. I 100% disagree with anyone participating in them married or not. That stuff is not for everyones eyes... cover yourself up!
Thank you.
I remember having an argument with my husband when we were dating because I made a comment about strip clubs. Not that he was a big supporter, he just didn't see the big deal.
A week later he was invited to a friends birthday and when the phone call came in, he said "why do I need to go to a club? Look what I have here" and he hung up.
That was the last strip club discussion we had in our 4 years together.... he doesn't go to bars, clubs, anything....
He's a husband and a dad, those are his main priorities... and for fun he works on cars or goes to tracks with the guys... no need to be watching naked women parade around... and when I go out I give him the same respect.
Choosing to not go to clubs OR bars at all, for the same reasons, is logical and consistent. It's a choice, a perfectly good choice.
I can even understand the philosophy of why wives don't care to have their men watch nekid women .. even though THAT is a place to only watch .. CAN"T touch. Those women maybe feel that just their SO's presence in a place like that is a reflection on thier relationship, and/or they have some trust issues.
What I don't understand is why they don't have a problem with their men going to a regular bar .. where "touching", "carousing' and down right 'hunting" is common place (Considering, there are still some trust issues).
I am of the opinion, that it shouldn't matter where they want to go on a rare occasion. A man should be able to be trusted under ANY circumstance and in ANY environment. .. same goes for a women being trusted. Either you are trustworthy, or you are not.0 -
I see this thread is back :huh:0
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My wife can care less if I go to one and get lap dances. She knows I'm not going to do anything, and that the stripper is just nice for my money. No biggie.0
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as a dude, i think married man going to strip club is ok just to look, but lap dance is a no no.
ps, cuz lap dances can lead to other stuff - aka happy ending, rub and tug, bj, etc.0 -
It's ok if you look and don't touch, or get touched, and you better not give any of them any of OUR money! Unless I'm there with you, lol!0
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Without reading all of the responses, I just want to say this:
People like to look at other people. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're dead. And lap dances are awesome. It's not like a guy can touch a woman (usually... and really, if he's touching a stripper, it's not about the club, it's about the guy) .. and who doesn't want to have a sexy person grinding on them?? It's all in good fun, IMO.
I love going to the strip club with my boyfriend. Everyone loves boobies, and it's a little wild and a little dirty, and it always ends up in really awesome adult time when we get home.0 -
He can go whenever he wants, just so long as it's not taking away from time with me. We go together sometimes, i LOVE that! He's welcome to get lap dances as well. My theory on it - it makes my life so much easier! he goes there, gets all worked up, comes home, and i reap the benefits! what's not to love?! is he picturing it's them he's doing, when it's really me? i don't freaking care! i'm the only one he's doing FOR REAL, so that's what matters to me! plus, i get all worked up when we go. they're beautiful sexual women. again, what's not to love?!?!?!
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IMO many females feel insecure about their bodies and for their man to go watch a stripper with a great body (don't see too many out of shape one's unless the club really is of low low standard) doesn't help to make them feel any better.
When I go, it's usually with my BIL's, my cousins,my FIL and my uncles as a group and we all really just have a good time BSing. Yeah we look at the girls and might throw a couple of dollars their way, but more than anything it's mostly just a guys night out.
We aren't looking to "hook up" or "have a one nighter". That's what clubs are for..........................I kid.0 -
I guess to answer that question (& first, I don't have a RULEBOOK for my husband, or anything, I just would be surprised and yes, hurt, if he felt he had the need to pay other people to get naked for him-- because I think our sex life is way fullfilling, I guess LOL), I don't have a problem with him going to the trivia bar, pool club, etc, to hang out with his friends (& he does do that once a week-- as do I have dinner or drinks with girlfriends) is kind of misleading. LOL I'm not thinking my husband is going to have sex with a stripper-- that's not why I don't like the idea of it. I trust him to not sleep with someone else. People keep explaining that strippers aren't going to sleep with him, so wives shouldn't be bothered, but the stripper's motivation has nothing to do with my opinions (& I wish her the best). KWIM? If he was going to pay other women to take their clothes off and my only reassurance was that THEY weren't willing to have sex with him anyway, well, that's cold comfort. LOL Meaning, what? He'd do it, but she won't let him, so he's forced to come home to me, no thanks. So that argument isn't really in the equation for me.What I don't understand is why they don't have a problem with their men going to a regular bar .. where "touching", "carousing' and down right 'hunting" is common place (Considering, there are still some trust issues).
I am of the opinion, that it shouldn't matter where they want to go on a rare occasion. A man should be able to be trusted under ANY circumstance and in ANY environment. .. same goes for a women being trusted. Either you are trustworthy, or you are not.
I honestly just would feel like I was doing something wrong if our bedroom antics weren't doing the job for him, and he had to pay someone else to get naked and turn him on, even if after needing that, I was the one he came home, closed his eyes, and had sex with. I like to think we have a fun time at that together. LOL
So that's just my thought process. I don't have anything against strippers as people, when I was younger I went to strip clubs with boyfriends to make sure they knew I was cool (rolleyes), I'm just not in that place anymore. I have no problem with other couples feeling completely different than I do, but for me and my DH? I want our in-person sexy business to pretty much be with each other. He does, too, so it's not been an issue, but that's my thought.0 -
I guess to answer that question (& first, I don't have a RULEBOOK for my husband, or anything, I just would be surprised and yes, hurt, if he felt he had the need to pay other people to get naked for him-- because I think our sex life is way fullfilling, I guess LOL), I don't have a problem with him going to the trivia bar, pool club, etc, to hang out with his friends (& he does do that once a week-- as do I have dinner or drinks with girlfriends) is kind of misleading. LOL I'm not thinking my husband is going to have sex with a stripper-- that's not why I don't like the idea of it. I trust him to not sleep with someone else. People keep explaining that strippers aren't going to sleep with him, so wives shouldn't be bothered, but the stripper's motivation has nothing to do with my opinions (& I wish her the best). KWIM? If he was going to pay other women to take their clothes off and my only reassurance was that THEY weren't willing to have sex with him anyway, well, that's cold comfort. LOL Meaning, what? He'd do it, but she won't let him, so he's forced to come home to me, no thanks. So that argument isn't really in the equation for me.What I don't understand is why they don't have a problem with their men going to a regular bar .. where "touching", "carousing' and down right 'hunting" is common place (Considering, there are still some trust issues).
I am of the opinion, that it shouldn't matter where they want to go on a rare occasion. A man should be able to be trusted under ANY circumstance and in ANY environment. .. same goes for a women being trusted. Either you are trustworthy, or you are not.
I honestly just would feel like I was doing something wrong if our bedroom antics weren't doing the job for him, and he had to pay someone else to get naked and turn him on, even if after needing that, I was the one he came home, closed his eyes, and had sex with. I like to think we have a fun time at that together. LOL
So that's just my thought process. I don't have anything against strippers as people, when I was younger I went to strip clubs with boyfriends to make sure they knew I was cool (rolleyes), I'm just not in that place anymore. I have no problem with other couples feeling completely different than I do, but for me and my DH? I want our in-person sexy business to pretty much be with each other. He does, too, so it's not been an issue, but that's my thought.
I understand what you are saying .. I can accept and appreciate that. I think you are saying there is a difference between a bar and a strip club. That's where we differ. I think there is not...Not when it comes to temptations. There are temptations EVERYWHERE...Literally. I don't think it matters where they go.
We are not talking about JUST men who go to strip clubs to pay for the show on perv row .. we are talking about men who want to hang with their buddies, have a few beers and laughs. They are not there JUST to have someone strip for them. In fact the 'stripping' is 2ndary to the camaraderie of the buddies. It has little to do with a creepy sexual desire or void.0 -
If your husband says he doesn't like looking at other women naked, he is either a homosexual, or a liar, which would you rather be married to ladies? Guys that can't admit to their wives that they find other women attractive are the first ones to cheat...............food for thought...............0
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Well, I guess I'm just lucky that it's not the hangout of my DH's buddies, then, b/c I guess I'd have to cross the bridge of that second paragraph when I got there.
I guess to answer that question (& first, I don't have a RULEBOOK for my husband, or anything, I just would be surprised and yes, hurt, if he felt he had the need to pay other people to get naked for him-- because I think our sex life is way fullfilling, I guess LOL), I don't have a problem with him going to the trivia bar, pool club, etc, to hang out with his friends (& he does do that once a week-- as do I have dinner or drinks with girlfriends) is kind of misleading. LOL I'm not thinking my husband is going to have sex with a stripper-- that's not why I don't like the idea of it. I trust him to not sleep with someone else. People keep explaining that strippers aren't going to sleep with him, so wives shouldn't be bothered, but the stripper's motivation has nothing to do with my opinions (& I wish her the best). KWIM? If he was going to pay other women to take their clothes off and my only reassurance was that THEY weren't willing to have sex with him anyway, well, that's cold comfort. LOL Meaning, what? He'd do it, but she won't let him, so he's forced to come home to me, no thanks. So that argument isn't really in the equation for me.What I don't understand is why they don't have a problem with their men going to a regular bar .. where "touching", "carousing' and down right 'hunting" is common place (Considering, there are still some trust issues).
I am of the opinion, that it shouldn't matter where they want to go on a rare occasion. A man should be able to be trusted under ANY circumstance and in ANY environment. .. same goes for a women being trusted. Either you are trustworthy, or you are not.
I honestly just would feel like I was doing something wrong if our bedroom antics weren't doing the job for him, and he had to pay someone else to get naked and turn him on, even if after needing that, I was the one he came home, closed his eyes, and had sex with. I like to think we have a fun time at that together. LOL
So that's just my thought process. I don't have anything against strippers as people, when I was younger I went to strip clubs with boyfriends to make sure they knew I was cool (rolleyes), I'm just not in that place anymore. I have no problem with other couples feeling completely different than I do, but for me and my DH? I want our in-person sexy business to pretty much be with each other. He does, too, so it's not been an issue, but that's my thought.
I understand what you are saying .. I can accept and appreciate that. I think you are saying there is a difference between a bar and a strip club. That's where we differ. I think there is not...Not when it comes to temptations. There are temptations EVERYWHERE...Literally. I don't think it matters where they go.
We are not talking about JUST men who go to strip clubs to pay for the show on perv row .. we are talking about men who want to hang with their buddies, have a few beers and laughs. They are not there JUST to have someone strip for them. In fact the 'stripping' is 2ndary to the camaraderie of the buddies. It has little to do with a creepy sexual desire or void.
I know there are temptations everywhere, I agree with you. That's part of the point I was trying to make-- my problem isn't that I feel like he'd suddenly pay the stripper to have sex with him (or she'd take the deal), or that he'll have sex with some gal next Tuesday when he plays pool with his buddies as he does every Tuesday. He's a good looking man, & I know he has the opportunity to sleep with other women if he wants to (as do I with other men), I trust him not to do that-- it's not about that (for me).
Actually, there are probably WORSE temptations in a lot of offices than there are at bars, for that matter, don't you think? I,m a SAHM now, but at my old office, OMG, it was such a sexually charged atmosphere- a lot of people had affairs there, and I'm sure that's not toally uncommon. But my problem also isn't that I worry that my DH is going to sleep with his secretary. But if he paid her to get naked for him, I'd just feel like THAT ALONE, not even later having sex, would be an issue between us. I don't want him to need that.
Hopefully that makes more sense!
I totally get that other people see it differently, and I think that's totally fine. DH & I seem to be mostly on the same page (other than bachelor parties, which I see the same way you seem to see strip clubs-- as just part of man-bonding that isn't that big a deal), it's not really an issue for us; and I think that's true of a lot of couples, so I don't think this "oh, so you're forcing him to follow your rulebook" kind of assumption in some posts (not yours!) isn't always accurate or relevant.
eta: I meant I'm on the same page about Bachelor Parties that you are about Strip Clubs, my husband goes to them when there is one, they are usually at strip clubs, and it's not a big deal to me-- you'd go there b/c that's where the party is-- not because you are personally needing to pay a stranger to get naked for you.0
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