Nice/Romantic Gesture OR Trying Too Hard

virgo1978

My friend went on a date with a guy, all went well and he called to take her out for a second date. He showed up at her house to pick her up and had a dozen red roses for her. She called to tell me that she went on the second date, then told him no more. She felt he was trying too hard, it was too much too soon. In my opinion, they are just flowers. It was a nice gesture, but maybe a bunch of daisies or single rose or two wouldn't have been read into they way she did. Thoughts??? Dating is hard enough as it is and I really feel for the guys out there. Women can be difficult! :flowerforyou:

krist3ng

hehe, you chose the flower emoticon!

I think it is a little creepy. First of all, I don't know why but I don't really like when guys give me flowers (that phrasing makes it sound like I've got bouquets and bouquets in my closet from suitors, haha! I don't get flowers ever, but I have before!). First of all, there are better ways to spend money on someone; if you want to get them a gift, get them something more personalized, not something generic, like 'girls love flowers!!'. (However, many girls really love flowers, or are botanists or just enthusiasts, and in that case it IS personalized. So there's an exception.)
Besides, I feel like guys are really annoying when they give you flowers; they act really proud of themselves and kind of snotty-- it's like they're showing off. Maybe this is just my bad experiences.
On myyy second date with my boyfriend, he gave me chocolates with puppies on the box. Now, that's way more personalized! I love puppies!! It totally won me over. I was already won over, but it helped!
A dozen red roses just seems way too slick, and probably like too much commitment too soon. Ick. I'd reject him too.

ElizabethRoad

Honestly, she had two dates to judge him by. She may think she's dumping him because of the flowers but everything he said and did on those dates factored into the decision.

La_Amazona

I think 1 rose would have been better... I don't know if I'd stop seeing the guy over that. I'd give him another chance. If he kept coming on strong then it'd come out sooner or later again.

KMSForLife

I think the flowers were a nice idea. I'm not sure that I would disregard someone over flowers but hey, if it's meant to be than it will be - this apparently was not.

CaptainGordo

Women can be difficult!

Agreed.

virgo1978

Well, that emoticon was just too fitting. Ha ha!

I do enjoy flowers at times, however, I don't feel the second date with someone is the appropriate time...especially red roses! It does seem slick. Very Larry from Three's Company...cheesy. A gift isn't necessary on a second date. Get to know someone before buying them anything.

Contrarian

I feel really sorry for men. Without a copy of the script in advance, they will inevitably do something wrong.

Murphy15

I think it's so true that women can be hard (I am one!). I don't think it was trying too hard that he brought her the roses. Maybe not the best idea, but come on, guys are damned if they do, damned if they don't sometimes. If she liked him other than that, I would say she shouldn't dump him just because of that. Maybe he should have gone with 1 rose or some other flowers, but it is awfully sweet.

1FitMom326

I would have to agree with her the flowers were a bit much for a 2nd date. Now had he picked one out of someones yard on the way up to the door it would be more my style.. just saying

1FitMom326

I feel really sorry for men. Without a copy of the script in advance, they will inevitably do something wrong.

True and if we were all made from the same mold it might be a hell of a lot easier for them to figure out!

carriem73

guys can't win, can they? If they are not hopelessly romatic, we call them cold and distant. If they make a sweet gesture like bringing us flowers they are stalkers who try to hard. Give the guy a break- he did something nice for you- accept the nice gesture and get over yourself!!

JulieBoBoo

A dozen red roses is over the top yes but I wouldn't dump him just for that. Of course I still tease the crap out of my husband who showed up to our first date with a white teddy bear who was holding a red satin heart that said "You're Special" on it. I was 27 not 17

Mhaney

so glad I am married and don't date anymore. Oh the horror stories!

yeah I think a dozen roses that early is a bit much. A few carnations or something would have been better, and DEFINITELY not red ones.

pearlsgonewild

I think if she liked the guy, she might not have minded the flowers. i had a few dates with a guy about 2 years ago at Christmastime and on our last date he had a gift bag filled with coffee-related items plus a gift card to Starbucks. I love coffee and he obviously paid attention. But I didn't have a Christmas gift for him, wasn't sure if I liked him, we had only had a couple of dates, and it felt way over the top. I wanted to like him but it just didn't happen. I thanked him for the very generous gift, but in honesty it made me uncomfortable and I never went out with him again.

KimmieBrie

From the right guy it's romantic....

From the wrong guy it's an excuse to stop at date #2... I suspect she wouldn't have wanted date #3 regardless

infamousmk

This sort of thing makes me so sad for men. Women can be picky, and read in to the most innocent of gestures! If she really did eliminate him from future dates because he was a gentleman, then I feel sorry for her, too.

UponThisRock

You've gotta be kidding me.

La_Amazona

Honestly, she had two dates to judge him by. She may think she's dumping him because of the flowers but everything he said and did on those dates factored into the decision.

I agree. If I went out on a date and found I wasn't too crazy about him and he showed up with flowers, well it'd be okay but eh. But if I felt that tingle, the butterflies and had an awesome date with him and he brought flowers next time, I'd melt. Again, maybe not a dozen of roses.. maybe a smaller bouquet or a single rose.

Mollydolly10

I do enjoy flowers at times, however, I don't feel the second date with someone is the appropriate time...especially red roses! It does seem slick. Very Larry from Three's Company...cheesy. A gift isn't necessary on a second date. Get to know someone before buying them anything.

I have to agree with you - ALTHOUGH, maybe he wasn't trying to be slick, since I don't know the guy, I'll never know. The first thing I said when I read this was "aww" (like "poor thing" aww) because it could easily be good intentioned. Too much for a second date though that's for sure!!

adlwilmot

I bet you anything there was something else he said or did that made her decide she wasn't going to see him again. If she'd been REALLY into him, the flowers.... oh my.... the flowers..... "and he was stood there with this huge bunch of red roses.... oh my god, he's so sweet.... and his smile.... oh he's so cute..... the flowers... the flowers were amazing.... such a gentleman..... this could be The One....!!!"

blink1021

Its hard enough for people out there in the dating world. I wouldn't write a guy off because he brought a dozen red roses, but it was overkill he should have opted for fewer roses and a different color. However I do not think it was just the flowers that did the guy in. If it was just the flowers maybe she should look at what she decides is a deal breaker in a guy. If your too picky you will end up alone I have a 36 year old sister who is extremely picky and yes she is alone.

terriph

If she was really attracted to him, the flowers wouldn't have made a difference. They're just not compatible. Shame for him, sounds like he was invested in it, but she clearly wasn't. On to the next one ....

felice03

This sort of thing makes me so sad for men. Women can be picky, and read in to the most innocent of gestures! If she really did eliminate him from future dates because he was a gentleman, then I feel sorry for her, too.

pretty much what i was thinking....

IronmanPanda

Want to know who killed romance and chivalry?

PepeGreggerton

Not something I would have done until things were more serious, I'm sure his heart was in the right place.

Edit: I was going to do this on a second date earlier this year, but after a quick google search everything said no that it will freak her out.

virgo1978

guys can't win, can they? If they are not hopelessly romatic, we call them cold and distant. If they make a sweet gesture like bringing us flowers they are stalkers who try to hard. Give the guy a break- he did something nice for you- accept the nice gesture and get over yourself!!

That's what I told her! Well, not the get over yourself part. But, to give him another chance. Don't write him off just yet. Maybe there was more to it. Who knows? She could let him know that she felt the flowers were a bit much and if he could tone it down a bit. I don't know how to say that to someone either. Ugh...dating! :ohwell:

Bentley2718

Honestly, she had two dates to judge him by. She may think she's dumping him because of the flowers but everything he said and did on those dates factored into the decision.

My thoughts exactly. The flowers may be the most obvious thing, but something else is factoring into the decision somewhere.

veganhoneys

Nice Gesture! I love flowers and I wish I could find a guy who believed in any kind of gesture!

SimplyShanRunning

sighs.....Poor men!! They just can't catch a break no matter how hard they try....This makes me sad

kennethmgreen

I feel really sorry for men. Without a copy of the script in advance, they will inevitably do something wrong.

Don't forget the script revisions, often happening as the previous version is being handed to us.

"Feliz Navidad" (No Socks with Sandals)