Nice/Romantic Gesture OR Trying Too Hard
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Maybe I'm picky... but it would be a red flag to me because that's just not what I WANT from a relationship.
My boyfriend and I have gone out to dinner in PJ's. Because we can. We're dready and lazy and genuine and we like it that way.
And to some people, that would be the end of the world if their boyfriend even so much as suggested they go somewhere in PJ's.
I'm not those people... maybe she wasn't that kind of person either!
To each their own
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My sister used to complain all the time that her hubby never did anything romantic, like getting her flowers. He got the hint, he had flowers delivered to her work. She came home and told him she feels that he only did that to show off in front of her co-workers. Now, she'll never get flowers again. Serves her right! Make up your mind! Oye!0
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Funny, I remember every show growing up basically taught you to be romantic, that women loved receving flowers ,especially for no reason! Even candy!...and now you see charm bracelets are coming back around. Your girl wearing your class ring with a boatload of string wrapped around it so it would fit them. They were proud to wear it, they bragged about it to their girlfriends, or so we thought they did anyway. You held hands on your way to class, got the door for them wether it was a building door or car door. You let them sit down first and got their chair for them. You would sit and talk for hours at night, not text, talk! The tv shows back then made you believe in true love and romance...you would make a compilation of love songs for them as a gift, let them have one of your shirts that had your cologne on it because they said they would wear it or sleep with it at night.
Romance....goes back to being the nice guy and never getting the girl you wanted...you just wanted her to like you, you wanted her heart to melt when you gave her something hoping she understood the sentiment behind it...show her appreciation for being with you, always labeled as cheesy, but in your heart you thought you were sweeping her off her feet....just being a hopeless romantic....
Now these things like that are frowned upon.Your scrutinized for your efforts...instead of the sentiment behind it getting the attention it should deserve. Its sad really....just my opinion...0 -
Note to self: NEVER buy a woman flowers!0
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guys can't win, can they? If they are not hopelessly romatic, we call them cold and distant. If they make a sweet gesture like bringing us flowers they are stalkers who try to hard. Give the guy a break- he did something nice for you- accept the nice gesture and get over yourself!!
I don't feel sorry for guys ("wah I got her the most generic gift ever! and she rejected me!"). They're just as difficult and as judgmental when it comes to dating. If I'm hanging out with guys, I'm often disheartened by how they mock girls who aren't 'hot'.
She deserves to be with a guy she likes. If she didn't like his gesture, fine. He will probably get along better with a girl who likes roses, and she will get along better with someone who can intuit her personality.0 -
I am sure it depends on the guy but I like the idea. My now husband sent me 2 dozen roses after our first date (the note said something like "thank you for a wonderful first date"). His friends thought he would scare me away with it but I thought it was really sweet. I am sure if I wasn't into him or the date was horrible I would not have been as pleased though :laugh:0
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If anyone wants to bring me a dozen of red roses, please feel free to. I will appreciate them. 0
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totally comes down to chemistry, she probably wasn't feeling with him for other reasons. That being said, thinking back to guys I have fallen hard and fast for in the past....if they brought me flowers on the second date, I probably would have cringed a bit to be honest. Just pay for my dinner and hold doors open for me at that point.0
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I think we get so used to jerks that when someone does something really nice we freak out! We love to see it in movies and wish we could have Mr. Right but when it starts to happen we don't think we deserve it! Or maybe she isn't ready for a relationship and that is want the roses symbolized to her. What ever... Give him my #! lol0
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Funny, I remember every show growing up basically taught you to be romantic, that women loved receving flowers ,especially for no reason! Even candy!...and now you see charm bracelets are coming back around. Your girl wearing your class ring with a boatload of string wrapped around it so it would fit them. They were proud to wear it, they bragged about it to their girlfriends, or so we thought they did anyway. You held hands on your way to class, got the door for them wether it was a building door or car door. You let them sit down first and got their chair for them. You would sit and talk for hours at night, not text, talk! The tv shows back then made you believe in true love and romance...you would make a compilation of love songs for them as a gift, let them have one of your shirts that had your cologne on it because they said they would wear it or sleep with it at night.
I liked those things when I was 12. I am not 12 anymore.0 -
If anyone wants to bring me a dozen of red roses, please feel free to. I will appreciate them.
On the way! :flowerforyou:0 -
A dozen roses is too extravagant for a second date....the guy would have come off pretentious to me.0
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Funny, I remember every show growing up basically taught you to be romantic, that women loved receving flowers ,especially for no reason! Even candy!...and now you see charm bracelets are coming back around. Your girl wearing your class ring with a boatload of string wrapped around it so it would fit them. They were proud to wear it, they bragged about it to their girlfriends, or so we thought they did anyway. You held hands on your way to class, got the door for them wether it was a building door or car door. You let them sit down first and got their chair for them. You would sit and talk for hours at night, not text, talk! The tv shows back then made you believe in true love and romance...you would make a compilation of love songs for them as a gift, let them have one of your shirts that had your cologne on it because they said they would wear it or sleep with it at night.
Romance....goes back to being the nice guy and never getting the girl you wanted...you just wanted her to like you, you wanted her heart to melt when you gave her something hoping she understood the sentiment behind it...show her appreciation for being with you, always labeled as cheesy, but in your heart you thought you were sweeping her off her feet....just being a hopeless romantic....
Now these things like that are frowned upon.Your scrutinized for your efforts...instead of the sentiment behind it getting the attention it should deserve. Its sad really....just my opinion...
I still like those things. One thing my husband did when we dated was to renew my interest in romance. It's fun to have a little of it along the way.0 -
Funny, I remember every show growing up basically taught you to be romantic, that women loved receving flowers ,especially for no reason! Even candy!...and now you see charm bracelets are coming back around. Your girl wearing your class ring with a boatload of string wrapped around it so it would fit them. They were proud to wear it, they bragged about it to their girlfriends, or so we thought they did anyway. You held hands on your way to class, got the door for them wether it was a building door or car door. You let them sit down first and got their chair for them. You would sit and talk for hours at night, not text, talk! The tv shows back then made you believe in true love and romance...you would make a compilation of love songs for them as a gift, let them have one of your shirts that had your cologne on it because they said they would wear it or sleep with it at night.
Romance....goes back to being the nice guy and never getting the girl you wanted...you just wanted her to like you, you wanted her heart to melt when you gave her something hoping she understood the sentiment behind it...show her appreciation for being with you, always labeled as cheesy, but in your heart you thought you were sweeping her off her feet....just being a hopeless romantic....
Now these things like that are frowned upon.Your scrutinized for your efforts...instead of the sentiment behind it getting the attention it should deserve. Its sad really....just my opinion...
As the girl with the creepy dating story posted earlier who is married to said creepy guy...I stay in my pjs as long as I can so I can smell him on my shoulder...:blushing:0 -
If anyone wants to bring me a dozen of red roses, please feel free to. I will appreciate them.
I'm married, but me too! I'll appreciate them and it'll make my day!0 -
While nice guy Mike is getting the flowers Billy badass just handed her a pack of condoms and said you know you want to......She did......Billy badass dumped her shortly after for her better looking friend. Mike is at the gun store asking the clerk to keep his gun on hold till he's 18.Funny, I remember every show growing up basically taught you to be romantic, that women loved receving flowers ,especially for no reason! Even candy!...and now you see charm bracelets are coming back around. Your girl wearing your class ring with a boatload of string wrapped around it so it would fit them. They were proud to wear it, they bragged about it to their girlfriends, or so we thought they did anyway. You held hands on your way to class, got the door for them wether it was a building door or car door. You let them sit down first and got their chair for them. You would sit and talk for hours at night, not text, talk! The tv shows back then made you believe in true love and romance...you would make a compilation of love songs for them as a gift, let them have one of your shirts that had your cologne on it because they said they would wear it or sleep with it at night.
Romance....goes back to being the nice guy and never getting the girl you wanted...you just wanted her to like you, you wanted her heart to melt when you gave her something hoping she understood the sentiment behind it...show her appreciation for being with you, always labeled as cheesy, but in your heart you thought you were sweeping her off her feet....just being a hopeless romantic....
Now these things like that are frowned upon.Your scrutinized for your efforts...instead of the sentiment behind it getting the attention it should deserve. Its sad really....just my opinion...0 -
dozen roses on second date? too fast player. slow your roll. patience is a virtue.0
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I have had guys come pick me up for a first date with a bouquet of flowers. I love flowers! I think it makes a good impression when a date brings flowers. I will admit that I am old fashioned, and my husband still opens doors and pulls out chairs for me, but he still brings home a bouquet of flowers for me every now and then, and I love it just as much now as I did on our first date.0
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My friend went on a date with a guy, all went well and he called to take her out for a second date. He showed up at her house to pick her up and had a dozen red roses for her. She called to tell me that she went on the second date, then told him no more. She felt he was trying too hard, it was too much too soon. In my opinion, they are just flowers. It was a nice gesture, but maybe a bunch of daisies or single rose or two wouldn't have been read into they way she did. Thoughts??? Dating is hard enough as it is and I really feel for the guys out there. Women can be difficult! :flowerforyou:
"Women can be difficult!"0 -
sighs.....Poor men!! They just can't catch a break no matter how hard they try....This makes me sad
I agree.... I guess it would have been better if he sat in the driveway and honked the horn for her to come out0 -
Wanna know what creepy is? When a guy tattoos your name on his arm five days after meeting you. True story. (I would have preferred some roses)0
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Well he better dang well better bring me flowers on the first date!!......expensive jewelery wouldnt hurt either......
Now you're talking!!!!! LOL0 -
While nice guy Mike is getting the flowers Billy badass just handed her a pack of condoms and said you know you want to......She did......Billy badass dumped her shortly after for her better looking friend. Mike is at the gun store asking the clerk to keep his gun on hold till he's 18.Funny, I remember every show growing up basically taught you to be romantic, that women loved receving flowers ,especially for no reason! Even candy!...and now you see charm bracelets are coming back around. Your girl wearing your class ring with a boatload of string wrapped around it so it would fit them. They were proud to wear it, they bragged about it to their girlfriends, or so we thought they did anyway. You held hands on your way to class, got the door for them wether it was a building door or car door. You let them sit down first and got their chair for them. You would sit and talk for hours at night, not text, talk! The tv shows back then made you believe in true love and romance...you would make a compilation of love songs for them as a gift, let them have one of your shirts that had your cologne on it because they said they would wear it or sleep with it at night.
Romance....goes back to being the nice guy and never getting the girl you wanted...you just wanted her to like you, you wanted her heart to melt when you gave her something hoping she understood the sentiment behind it...show her appreciation for being with you, always labeled as cheesy, but in your heart you thought you were sweeping her off her feet....just being a hopeless romantic....
Now these things like that are frowned upon.Your scrutinized for your efforts...instead of the sentiment behind it getting the attention it should deserve. Its sad really....just my opinion...
The girls Billy Badass picks up are the same ones *****ing that they can't find a good man too. That's the really pathetic part of it. Too many women go for the bad boys then blame THEM when the guy turns out, (SURPRISE) to be a *kitten*. DUH!0 -
I love thisFunny, I remember every show growing up basically taught you to be romantic, that women loved receving flowers ,especially for no reason! Even candy!...and now you see charm bracelets are coming back around. Your girl wearing your class ring with a boatload of string wrapped around it so it would fit them. They were proud to wear it, they bragged about it to their girlfriends, or so we thought they did anyway. You held hands on your way to class, got the door for them wether it was a building door or car door. You let them sit down first and got their chair for them. You would sit and talk for hours at night, not text, talk! The tv shows back then made you believe in true love and romance...you would make a compilation of love songs for them as a gift, let them have one of your shirts that had your cologne on it because they said they would wear it or sleep with it at night.
Romance....goes back to being the nice guy and never getting the girl you wanted...you just wanted her to like you, you wanted her heart to melt when you gave her something hoping she understood the sentiment behind it...show her appreciation for being with you, always labeled as cheesy, but in your heart you thought you were sweeping her off her feet....just being a hopeless romantic....
Now these things like that are frowned upon.Your scrutinized for your efforts...instead of the sentiment behind it getting the attention it should deserve. Its sad really....just my opinion... It reminds me of my first love in high school. That feeling was so amazing. So amazing that many years later we sought each other out listened to old mixed tapes we gave each other back then. We've been totally in love for years and I still wear his shirts to bed Great post!! 0 -
I looked up the definition of the word 'romance' online (WM Online) and one of the definitions reads:
"to try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery"
This is why some of us are very turned off by 'romance'..... it's just not 'real'. Because this was only the second date, there is no way to know the motivation of the poor guy.... but I can see why your friend read into this as 'trying to influence her' or... 'trying too hard'.
Dating is difficult for both parties.... I.DO.KNOW.... but eventually, all things fit in. At the end of the day, it is not the gesture that turned her off.... she's just not that into him and accepting flowers is leading him on....because it is lovely to get flowers from the man you love..... I.DO.KNOW.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I would be flattered if a man brought me roses on a second date. It's sweet.
I don't feel sorry for men and don't buy into "women are so difficult" mindset of much of this thread. Both my boyfriend and I liked each other; made it known we liked each other; and didn't play any stupid games or expect each other to read minds as a form of communication. It works for us. I suspect it would work for a lot of people if they just grew up and showed respect to their partner.0 -
What is so difficult about this subject, exactly? I know: you want a one-size-fits-all gift that will automatically please any woman. Sorry to break the news, but women are individual people with individual tastes and preferences. One woman may want a dozen roses, and the next woman may not. Romance requires getting to know the person, and knowing what will make her happy. If flowers will make her happy, then you get her flowers. If it's something else, then do that. Shoving a bouquet at someone without bothering to find out if it's appropriate is not romantic; it's what you do when you want to exert the minimum effort possible and still get laid.0
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If roses are too forward for a second date, wonder what that means about what I usually get on a second date...er, nevermind. :blushing:0
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If it's right...it's right. You just know. And no amount of flowers can make it more or less so.0
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Wow Women!!! This fear of flowers on a second date is the reason the majority of men now days thinks a romantic evening is a bucket of KFC and a case of beer. Lighten up0
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