Nice/Romantic Gesture OR Trying Too Hard

UsedToBeHusky

One day I was making my daughter dinner. It was pouring rain outside and I glanced out the back door. Someone was standing outside! I go to the door, and here it is this guy who took me out a few times who I had pretty much blew off. He was too nice. He was too touchy--always wanted to hold my hand or have his hand on my leg. urg.. I open the door and askedwhy he was there. He held out a bottle of cranberry juice and said "I came here to give you this" (I had been having health issues and the doctor was having me drink a lot of cranberry juice. I asked him if he wanted to cvome in. He said "no. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you". He lived an hour away from me!!

I was so blown away by it in a creepy, then not so creepy way. Yeah, it was creepy, but I knew he was just trying to be sweet.

He's my husband of 13years. We rarely argue and have an awesome family, business, house, etc.

I'd take the roses happily.

OMG! Such a beautiful story! Congrats to you both!

billsica

Women can be difficult!

Agreed.

Its stuff like this that makes me want to switch teams.

UsedToBeHusky

Too much too soon?
Jesus, you would think he was asking her to be engaged or that he tried f*cking her. Hell, maybe he did *kitten* her on the first date ( you never know these days!) but the flowers are just too much.

This is a problem with some women. They are too picky. They b*tch, moan, and cry that they can't have a nice guy who is fond of them being thoughtful. Then when someone does something thoughtful like this, the b*tch, moan, and cry that it's too much.

I agree but I still think the chick is a fool. It had to be something else. I know if I liked a guy and he made a gesture that I thought was "too much" then I would just tell him. I wouldn't totally cut the guy off.

I totally disagree. after 12 years of marraige things that when we first met i though were kinda cute albiet a little annoying now are major issues that were just under the surface..... Just sayin... you cant be sucked in see it for what it is.

It's a guy with flowers! I'm just saying... what more could be read into that.

CandeesLand

I think that if the only thing she is basing his being-over-the-topness on is the flowers than that is crazy. More likely, it was a bunch of things that were said and done that made her feel that way and the flowers just pushed her over the edge. I think flowers or lots of other small gifts, at any time, first date or 500th date, show that someone went out of their way to show you that they were thinking of you/care about you. It may be wise to try to guage how a woman feels about flowers in general and certian flowers before you spend money on a dozen roses though.

auticus

I feel so sorry for single guys, women are so bloody difficult sometimes.

This is one main reason I've been mostly single for the past 9 years.

KimmieBrie

I don't know that I feel sorry for the guy... she just didn't like him. It was the 2nd date. I think it was more than the flowers but
does it really matter? Half the women here saying they want to meet him might run at date 2 as well. Not all nice men and women hit it off. Maybe he left wishing he had never given her the flowers and never intended to call her again....you just never know....

but we women sure are good at over analyzing things!

galegetsthin

Because nothing says "undying love" better than a plant cut off from its roots destined for an early grave! I like getting flowers, but just a few. Not a lot of them. When I come home sometimes and there is a rose in a cup for me, it makes me all giggly. But not on the 2nd date. I would be a bit creeped out too.

april_beth

One day I was making my daughter dinner. It was pouring rain outside and I glanced out the back door. Someone was standing outside! I go to the door, and here it is this guy who took me out a few times who I had pretty much blew off. He was too nice. He was too touchy--always wanted to hold my hand or have his hand on my leg. urg.. I open the door and askedwhy he was there. He held out a bottle of cranberry juice and said "I came here to give you this" (I had been having health issues and the doctor was having me drink a lot of cranberry juice. I asked him if he wanted to cvome in. He said "no. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you". He lived an hour away from me!!

I was so blown away by it in a creepy, then not so creepy way. Yeah, it was creepy, but I knew he was just trying to be sweet.

He's my husband of 13years. We rarely argue and have an awesome family, business, house, etc.

I'd take the roses happily.

awwww, way freaking creepy but awwww, i love the ending

infamousmk

Too much too soon?
Jesus, you would think he was asking her to be engaged or that he tried f*cking her. Hell, maybe he did *kitten* her on the first date ( you never know these days!) but the flowers are just too much.

This is a problem with some women. They are too picky. They b*tch, moan, and cry that they can't have a nice guy who is fond of them being thoughtful. Then when someone does something thoughtful like this, the b*tch, moan, and cry that it's too much.

I agree but I still think the chick is a fool. It had to be something else. I know if I liked a guy and he made a gesture that I thought was "too much" then I would just tell him. I wouldn't totally cut the guy off.

I totally disagree. after 12 years of marraige things that when we first met i though were kinda cute albiet a little annoying now are major issues that were just under the surface..... Just sayin... you cant be sucked in see it for what it is.

Pretty sure the woman hasn't had time in one date to decide if the flower dude has any kind of quirks she would even have to consider whether or not she could live with for the rest of her life. It's a second date, not a prenup...

LissaAlice

Would you not rather have a guy that gave you flowers then a guy that couldn't even be bothered to put the though in....he seems very sweet, as is obviously very into her if he's doing this on the second date, I'd say even if it doesn't work out in the end, at least he's trying to pull his weight in the relationship.

infamousmk

I don't know that I feel sorry for the guy... she just didn't like him. It was the 2nd date. I think it was more than the flowers but
does it really matter? Half the women here saying they want to meet him might run at date 2 as well. Not all nice men and women hit it off. Maybe he left wishing he had never given her the flowers and never intended to call her again....you just never know....

but we women sure are good at over analyzing things!

Again, if there was more to it than the flowers, why doesn't the woman just say, "He chewed with his mouth open." or "Turns out he was a bigot" ..... why make it about the ONE KIND GESTURE?? It's a freaking mind game and it's bullsh!t and it's exactly the thing I don't like about a lot of women.

the_journeyman

My wife would rather me just pick her some redneck roses (wildflowers or similar)

JM

shanolap

Sounds like the guy got lucky that night! He doesn't have to deal with her ever again and hopefully he will find someone who will appreciate him and his kind gestures.

ItsCasey

Yet another example of what's wrong with men these days ... women are offended by chivalry. A man does what a man SHOULD do (bring flowers to a woman he likes), he gets screwed over because woman thinks it's "creepy," and he never does it again, thereby ruining the experience for the next woman, who might have appreciated the gesture.

Seriously, it's just a bouquet of flowers, not a marriage proposal. Sounds to me like this chick needs to get over herself.

Elizabeth_C34

I feel sorry for the guy. Sounds like he liked her quite a bit and was just trying to be romantic. Sucks that the next girl he dates probably won't get the same treatment because she shot him down this time.

rml_16

Something like that would make me feel weird about the guy, but if everything else was kosher, I wouldn't dump him over it. My guess is there was more to it, even if it was subtle. If he was an otherwise great guy and she dumped him over that, then he's better off without her, anyway.

rossi02

If the flowers pushed her away, then she must not have been into him to begin with. Like someone else had said, if she had felt that instant conection with him, she would have thought it was the sweetest thing ever.

BobbyClerici

Yep, he blew it.
Too much too soon. This poor guy knows nothing about women.

Legalchica

Too much too soon?
Jesus, you would think he was asking her to be engaged or that he tried f*cking her. Hell, maybe he did *kitten* her on the first date ( you never know these days!) but the flowers are just too much.

This is a problem with some women. They are too picky. They b*tch, moan, and cry that they can't have a nice guy who is fond of them being thoughtful. Then when someone does something thoughtful like this, the b*tch, moan, and cry that it's too much.

I agree but I still think the chick is a fool. It had to be something else. I know if I liked a guy and he made a gesture that I thought was "too much" then I would just tell him. I wouldn't totally cut the guy off.

I totally disagree. after 12 years of marraige things that when we first met i though were kinda cute albiet a little annoying now are major issues that were just under the surface..... Just sayin... you cant be sucked in see it for what it is.

It's a guy with flowers! I'm just saying... what more could be read into that.

after just meeting him??? a lot... maybe I'm just to paranoid and cynical now... but thats ok.

jsteffen80

I first gave my wife flowers on our first wedding anniversary. She got one red rose. She will get one more each year we're married.

Guys have it rough... women send some messed up signals... but a dozen roses on the second date is just thick.

Scott613

I feel sorry for the guy. Sounds like he liked her quite a bit and was just trying to be romantic. Sucks that the next girl he dates probably won't get the same treatment because she shot him down this time.

Yeah she's never gonna get roses. She'll be lucky if she gets daisys or petunias.

PepeGreggerton

I feel sorry for the guy. Sounds like he liked her quite a bit and was just trying to be romantic. Sucks that the next girl he dates probably won't get the same treatment because she shot him down this time.

Yeah she's never gonna get roses. She'll be lucky if she gets daisys or petunias.

We tend to learn pretty quickly that no good deed go unpunished.

Jenscan

I first gave my wife flowers on our first wedding anniversary. She got one red rose. She will get one more each year we're married.

Guys have it rough... women send some messed up signals... but a dozen roses on the second date is just thick.

Agreed. Any man with half a brain knows that. If he didn't have the good sense to google it as a PP said, he isn't worth dating.

Miss_Chievous_wechange

If anyone wants to bring me a dozen of red roses, please feel free to. I will appreciate them.

crux

The only way I would be bringing 12 red roses to a second date would be if the first date started on Friday and ended up not finishing till Monday! :laugh:

76tech

I feel really sorry for men. Without a copy of the script in advance, they will inevitably do something wrong.

There's a script? Wish I had one of those...

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

He should have shown up with a dozen Trojans instead.

rml_16

Thinking about this more and reading through the responses ...

Do men really think women are the only gender that's confusing and that requires a "script"??? I've had guys blow me off for absolutely no obvious reason -- men who sought ME out and asked ME out. No explanation. One was after exactly one date. We met at a speed dating event, our one date consisted of sitting on his couch -- as far away from me as possible -- watching a movie (he didn't even offer me anything to eat or drink) and then after the movie, he turned the TV up as loud as it would go and wouldn't look at me, so I left. Never heard from him again.

So, yeah, just women are tough to figure out. Whatever.

That said, a dozen red roses on a second date screams, "I'm desperate." And no one, no matter his or her gender, wants to be involved with someone desperate. It's off-putting and I would bet a million bucks he displayed other behavior that gave off the desperation vibe.

Not all women want the fairy tale. Some of us just want a nice guy who we can count on.

NiciS72

WOW, I guess I'm easy. I got flowers on the first date A LOT and I didn't run. Spent multiple other dates and almost married one of them! I would say there has to be something else she didn't like on the second date. She said yes to a second one so there had to be something there to like and want to get to know more. Maybe the guy has $$$ and likes to spend it or he just really liked her and wanted to show her. Red roses weren't the correct ones to get, he'd have been better with white or yellow, but come on they are flowers! I'm an old married lady, so if I got flowers I'd be THRILLED.

Tiggerrick

*sigh* I suppose they were not for each other. If she read too much into a guy being nice, then she didn't deserve him. If he did it as a way to show off, then he didn't deserve her. Either way, if ONE action caused this rift - they were not a good match.

The first time I visit someone's home, I hate to arrive empty handed. It's something I grew up with. Sometimes I do, but it takes a few minutes for me to get over it... And I might bring something the second time I visit - once I get to know the person better so I can better match my gift with them (Wine vs. some kind of pastry, etc.)

I've given roses to someone before on a first date, but that was rather unusual for me; and so was the way we arrived at the first date. I think she liked the gesture, at least she said she did.

Chilvary is NOT dead Panda; just not appreciated as much.