Nice/Romantic Gesture OR Trying Too Hard

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  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
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    I feel sorry for the guy. Sounds like he liked her quite a bit and was just trying to be romantic. Sucks that the next girl he dates probably won't get the same treatment because she shot him down this time.
    Yeah she's never gonna get roses. She'll be lucky if she gets daisys or petunias.
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
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    I feel sorry for the guy. Sounds like he liked her quite a bit and was just trying to be romantic. Sucks that the next girl he dates probably won't get the same treatment because she shot him down this time.
    Yeah she's never gonna get roses. She'll be lucky if she gets daisys or petunias.

    We tend to learn pretty quickly that no good deed go unpunished.
  • Jenscan
    Jenscan Posts: 694 Member
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    I first gave my wife flowers on our first wedding anniversary. She got one red rose. She will get one more each year we're married.

    Guys have it rough... women send some messed up signals... but a dozen roses on the second date is just thick.

    Agreed. Any man with half a brain knows that. If he didn't have the good sense to google it as a PP said, he isn't worth dating.
  • Miss_Chievous_wechange
    Miss_Chievous_wechange Posts: 1,230 Member
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    If anyone wants to bring me a dozen of red roses, please feel free to. I will appreciate them. :)
  • crux
    crux Posts: 454 Member
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    The only way I would be bringing 12 red roses to a second date would be if the first date started on Friday and ended up not finishing till Monday! :laugh:
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    I feel really sorry for men. Without a copy of the script in advance, they will inevitably do something wrong.

    There's a script? Wish I had one of those...
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
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    He should have shown up with a dozen Trojans instead.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Thinking about this more and reading through the responses ...

    Do men really think women are the only gender that's confusing and that requires a "script"??? I've had guys blow me off for absolutely no obvious reason -- men who sought ME out and asked ME out. No explanation. One was after exactly one date. We met at a speed dating event, our one date consisted of sitting on his couch -- as far away from me as possible -- watching a movie (he didn't even offer me anything to eat or drink) and then after the movie, he turned the TV up as loud as it would go and wouldn't look at me, so I left. Never heard from him again.

    So, yeah, just women are tough to figure out. Whatever.

    That said, a dozen red roses on a second date screams, "I'm desperate." And no one, no matter his or her gender, wants to be involved with someone desperate. It's off-putting and I would bet a million bucks he displayed other behavior that gave off the desperation vibe.

    Not all women want the fairy tale. Some of us just want a nice guy who we can count on.
  • NiciS72
    NiciS72 Posts: 1,043 Member
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    WOW, I guess I'm easy. I got flowers on the first date A LOT and I didn't run. Spent multiple other dates and almost married one of them! I would say there has to be something else she didn't like on the second date. She said yes to a second one so there had to be something there to like and want to get to know more. Maybe the guy has $$$ and likes to spend it or he just really liked her and wanted to show her. Red roses weren't the correct ones to get, he'd have been better with white or yellow, but come on they are flowers! I'm an old married lady, so if I got flowers I'd be THRILLED.
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
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    *sigh* I suppose they were not for each other. If she read too much into a guy being nice, then she didn't deserve him. If he did it as a way to show off, then he didn't deserve her. Either way, if ONE action caused this rift - they were not a good match.

    The first time I visit someone's home, I hate to arrive empty handed. It's something I grew up with. Sometimes I do, but it takes a few minutes for me to get over it... And I might bring something the second time I visit - once I get to know the person better so I can better match my gift with them (Wine vs. some kind of pastry, etc.)

    I've given roses to someone before on a first date, but that was rather unusual for me; and so was the way we arrived at the first date. I think she liked the gesture, at least she said she did.

    Chilvary is NOT dead Panda; just not appreciated as much.
  • vinylscratch
    vinylscratch Posts: 218 Member
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    Maybe I'm picky... but it would be a red flag to me because that's just not what I WANT from a relationship.

    My boyfriend and I have gone out to dinner in PJ's. Because we can. We're dready and lazy and genuine and we like it that way.
    And to some people, that would be the end of the world if their boyfriend even so much as suggested they go somewhere in PJ's.
    I'm not those people... maybe she wasn't that kind of person either!

    To each their own :)
  • virgo1978
    virgo1978 Posts: 73 Member
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    My sister used to complain all the time that her hubby never did anything romantic, like getting her flowers. He got the hint, he had flowers delivered to her work. She came home and told him she feels that he only did that to show off in front of her co-workers. Now, she'll never get flowers again. Serves her right! Make up your mind! Oye!
  • HOSED49
    HOSED49 Posts: 665 Member
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    Funny, I remember every show growing up basically taught you to be romantic, that women loved receving flowers ,especially for no reason! Even candy!...and now you see charm bracelets are coming back around. Your girl wearing your class ring with a boatload of string wrapped around it so it would fit them. They were proud to wear it, they bragged about it to their girlfriends, or so we thought they did anyway. You held hands on your way to class, got the door for them wether it was a building door or car door. You let them sit down first and got their chair for them. You would sit and talk for hours at night, not text, talk! The tv shows back then made you believe in true love and romance...you would make a compilation of love songs for them as a gift, let them have one of your shirts that had your cologne on it because they said they would wear it or sleep with it at night.
    Romance....goes back to being the nice guy and never getting the girl you wanted...you just wanted her to like you, you wanted her heart to melt when you gave her something hoping she understood the sentiment behind it...show her appreciation for being with you, always labeled as cheesy, but in your heart you thought you were sweeping her off her feet....just being a hopeless romantic....
    Now these things like that are frowned upon.Your scrutinized for your efforts...instead of the sentiment behind it getting the attention it should deserve. Its sad really....just my opinion...
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    Note to self: NEVER buy a woman flowers!
  • krist3ng
    krist3ng Posts: 259 Member
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    guys can't win, can they? If they are not hopelessly romatic, we call them cold and distant. If they make a sweet gesture like bringing us flowers they are stalkers who try to hard. Give the guy a break- he did something nice for you- accept the nice gesture and get over yourself!! :love:

    I don't feel sorry for guys ("wah I got her the most generic gift ever! and she rejected me!"). They're just as difficult and as judgmental when it comes to dating. If I'm hanging out with guys, I'm often disheartened by how they mock girls who aren't 'hot'.

    She deserves to be with a guy she likes. If she didn't like his gesture, fine. He will probably get along better with a girl who likes roses, and she will get along better with someone who can intuit her personality.
  • jennieodwyer
    jennieodwyer Posts: 1,036 Member
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    I am sure it depends on the guy but I like the idea. My now husband sent me 2 dozen roses after our first date (the note said something like "thank you for a wonderful first date"). His friends thought he would scare me away with it but I thought it was really sweet. I am sure if I wasn't into him or the date was horrible I would not have been as pleased though :laugh:
  • zenzoes
    zenzoes Posts: 187
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    If anyone wants to bring me a dozen of red roses, please feel free to. I will appreciate them. :)

    :)
  • stcar
    stcar Posts: 207 Member
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    totally comes down to chemistry, she probably wasn't feeling with him for other reasons. That being said, thinking back to guys I have fallen hard and fast for in the past....if they brought me flowers on the second date, I probably would have cringed a bit to be honest. Just pay for my dinner and hold doors open for me at that point.
  • SyxSixSyx
    SyxSixSyx Posts: 10
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    I think we get so used to jerks that when someone does something really nice we freak out! We love to see it in movies and wish we could have Mr. Right but when it starts to happen we don't think we deserve it! Or maybe she isn't ready for a relationship and that is want the roses symbolized to her. What ever... Give him my #! lol
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Funny, I remember every show growing up basically taught you to be romantic, that women loved receving flowers ,especially for no reason! Even candy!...and now you see charm bracelets are coming back around. Your girl wearing your class ring with a boatload of string wrapped around it so it would fit them. They were proud to wear it, they bragged about it to their girlfriends, or so we thought they did anyway. You held hands on your way to class, got the door for them wether it was a building door or car door. You let them sit down first and got their chair for them. You would sit and talk for hours at night, not text, talk! The tv shows back then made you believe in true love and romance...you would make a compilation of love songs for them as a gift, let them have one of your shirts that had your cologne on it because they said they would wear it or sleep with it at night.

    I liked those things when I was 12. I am not 12 anymore.

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