Nice/Romantic Gesture OR Trying Too Hard

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  • blink1021
    blink1021 Posts: 1,118 Member
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    Its hard enough for people out there in the dating world. I wouldn't write a guy off because he brought a dozen red roses, but it was overkill he should have opted for fewer roses and a different color. However I do not think it was just the flowers that did the guy in. If it was just the flowers maybe she should look at what she decides is a deal breaker in a guy. If your too picky you will end up alone I have a 36 year old sister who is extremely picky and yes she is alone.
  • terriph
    terriph Posts: 15
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    If she was really attracted to him, the flowers wouldn't have made a difference. They're just not compatible. Shame for him, sounds like he was invested in it, but she clearly wasn't. On to the next one ....
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    This sort of thing makes me so sad for men. Women can be picky, and read in to the most innocent of gestures! If she really did eliminate him from future dates because he was a gentleman, then I feel sorry for her, too.

    pretty much what i was thinking....
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
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    Want to know who killed romance and chivalry?
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
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    Not something I would have done until things were more serious, I'm sure his heart was in the right place.

    Edit: I was going to do this on a second date earlier this year, but after a quick google search everything said no that it will freak her out.
  • virgo1978
    virgo1978 Posts: 73 Member
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    guys can't win, can they? If they are not hopelessly romatic, we call them cold and distant. If they make a sweet gesture like bringing us flowers they are stalkers who try to hard. Give the guy a break- he did something nice for you- accept the nice gesture and get over yourself!! :love:

    That's what I told her! Well, not the get over yourself part. But, to give him another chance. Don't write him off just yet. Maybe there was more to it. Who knows? She could let him know that she felt the flowers were a bit much and if he could tone it down a bit. I don't know how to say that to someone either. Ugh...dating! :ohwell:
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Honestly, she had two dates to judge him by. She may think she's dumping him because of the flowers but everything he said and did on those dates factored into the decision.

    My thoughts exactly. The flowers may be the most obvious thing, but something else is factoring into the decision somewhere.
  • veganhoneys
    veganhoneys Posts: 34
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    Nice Gesture! I love flowers and I wish I could find a guy who believed in any kind of gesture!
  • SimplyShanRunning
    SimplyShanRunning Posts: 885 Member
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    sighs.....Poor men!! They just can't catch a break no matter how hard they try....This makes me sad
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    I feel really sorry for men. Without a copy of the script in advance, they will inevitably do something wrong.
    Don't forget the script revisions, often happening as the previous version is being handed to us.

    "Feliz Navidad" (No Socks with Sandals)
  • StaceyL76
    StaceyL76 Posts: 711 Member
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    You've gotta be kidding me.

    I agree!
  • Legalchica
    Legalchica Posts: 462
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    I would have felt smothered and called off the date....
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    The flowers were nice....but maybe a little scaled down would have been better. Maybe just a mixed bouquet, or a single red rose. But if that's all he did, I don't think it was THAT overdone.

    You know what's overdone? Dropping a long stem red rose at the door and then running away on the afternoon of the first date.....then giving a full bouqet later when coming over for the date.....showing up in a suit, renting a red mustang convertible for the evening.....having everything a surprise and having several plans made in case some didn't work out......making reservations at a nice restaurant....staring at the girl all night as if she is an angel that just fell from the sky....giving her excessive compliments all night...oye, yes this was a first date of mine.

    I'm pretty cynical so I tried to shut up the voices in my head saying he was trying to hard, and tried to take it as nice gestures and trying really hard to be a gentlemen, but in retrospect he was trying way too hard. We ended up dating for two months, and one day he dumped me out of the blue, never to be heard from again.

    I get the strong feeling that I was perhaps "the other woman", and it makes sense that someone might completely spoil and shower a girl with adoration if she's someone other than your long term girlfriend.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
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    Too much too soon?
    Jesus, you would think he was asking her to be engaged or that he tried f*cking her. Hell, maybe he did *kitten* her on the first date ( you never know these days!) but the flowers are just too much.

    This is a problem with some women. They are too picky. They b*tch, moan, and cry that they can't have a nice guy who is fond of them being thoughtful. Then when someone does something thoughtful like this, the b*tch, moan, and cry that it's too much.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    Yeah, I'm agreeing with the other posters who said there was something else. If she really liked him, the flowers would have been very cool. Something else put her off of him, and she's using that as an excuse!

    I have one single friend in particular who complains she can't find a nice guy, but when she does go out with a nice one...he's "too nice" or some other stupid thing she picks out that is a deal breaker. I don't get it!

    Man, it sure must suck to be a guy!!
  • WarriorMom2012
    WarriorMom2012 Posts: 621 Member
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    Honestly, if she liked him, it wouldn't have mattered if it was a dozen roses or if he showed up a half hour late, so high he could barely open his eyes.

    Women will find something wrong with a man if they don't feel the "connection". If she was hot for him, NOTHING would have mattered.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    The answer to your question:

    If it's a guy she finds attractive and wants to be with, it was a nice / romantic gesture.

    If it's a guy she does not find attractive, he was trying too hard.

    If a guy she finds attractive hits on her, it's flattering.

    If a guy she does not find attractive hits on her, it's creepy.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    I bet you anything there was something else he said or did that made her decide she wasn't going to see him again. If she'd been REALLY into him, the flowers.... oh my.... the flowers..... "and he was stood there with this huge bunch of red roses.... oh my god, he's so sweet.... and his smile.... oh he's so cute..... the flowers... the flowers were amazing.... such a gentleman..... this could be The One....!!!"


    And it's stuff like this that proves my point that women make dating difficult for men .... if she didn't like him for a reason other than the flowers, then why can't she just say the reason? Why does it have to be the flowers? Ladies, we all need to just be honest and clear and stop playing around. Say what you mean, shoot straight, and men will appreciate it.
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
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    Chivalry is all but dead because women have kicked it in the balls, stabbed it in the heart, and left it bleeding on the sidewalk.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    No offense, but your friend is a fool. Can I get that guy's number? Seriously... maybe he just really enjoyed their date and thought they had hit it off.

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