Nice/Romantic Gesture OR Trying Too Hard

chiera88

I don't like flowers but it's just a gesture. not too hard. I'd hate being a single guy. girls are a lot of trouble and hard to please lol.

monocot

I don't know. I had a guy ask me out using a dozen red roses. it was V-day and I was at the bar, I'd seen him before at the bar. but we've never talked. But that night he came into the bar with a dozen roses and gave them to me and introduced him self and asked if I'd go for a Very Early breakfast with him. I didn't go but he got my number. We talked on the phone for 2 weeks and eventually went for coffee where I told him I was seeing someone, No one said i can't Check around to find a replacement. He was so Sweet, I almost wanted him as a replacement but realized I was falling in love with the guy I was dating

LorinaLynn

I wouldn't have broken things off with a guy because he bought me flowers. But it would be a bit of a blinking yellow light to proceed with caution.

I'd have preferred a guy to really get to know ME before buying me gifts. After one date, he wouldn't have known me. It would be a generic, "This is what girls are supposed to like" kind of gift. And I'm not a generic typical girl. I wanted a guy who'd know that and appreciate that about me.

I knew my husband was a keeper when he bought me a cordless drill for our first xmas together.

CharityEaton

guys can't win, can they? If they are not hopelessly romatic, we call them cold and distant. If they make a sweet gesture like bringing us flowers they are stalkers who try to hard. Give the guy a break- he did something nice for you- accept the nice gesture and get over yourself!!

My thoughts exactly!!! After 13 years of being married I sometimes get flowers but usually it is dandelions picked by my daughters!
Some guys actually have some sense on how to treat a lady right and too often women slam the door in their face! There really are nice guys out there but we women are way to hard on them and they are giving up!!!
Take the flowers and go on another date....I bet he even held the door for you and you thought it was too much! If you want to be treated like a lady you gotta let the guys do it.

raevynn

I once dated a guy that had a list... he had it all scripted out what gifts he would give at what time frame.

THAT was creepy.

I found out when I was out with him once, and he said something like "oh, this is pretty, but I don't give jewelry yet. I don't give that until the _th date. Your next gift is __ (I honestly can't remember what he said)." When I asked "you have a list?" he said "Of course".

Um... no.

Flowers do have meanings... and the meaning of red roses is serious enough that it would definitely raise my eyebrows on a second date... unless the first date had been way, way, way wonderful...


.... and, I've had first dates that were *grin*

amandabrady

Want to know who killed romance and chivalry?

Bahahaha

jenny95662

I think he was trying hard but i dont think its a reason to dump him unless there were other factors. A boyfriend of mine bought me 2 flowers from a lady at a club for me when he was wooing me lmao but 2 is diff then 12 lol

AlsDonkBoxSquat

He was trying too hard, but not a reason within itself to cut him off without other creepy behavior.

sammys1girly

I love flowers, but red roses are so formal! Plus, a dozen red roses is pricey! On a second date, I think a smaller bouquet of daisies or something is more appropriate. But I wouldn't reject a guy outright for something like that.

Poor guy probably didn't know what is considered "appropriate" by all the females out there :noway: I think he was trying to be nice and thoughtful and he should be given more of a chance. It's not like he was rude and ignorant or anything. Give the guy a break.

turningstar

You poor guys! I feel for you, having to navigate this world of women!
Maybe the guy hadn't been in the dating scene much, and didn't realize that women have all these "meanings" for things. Maybe he just grew up being taught that its nice to give girls flowers!

Crap, if I was single, you could send him my way. In six years of being with my husband, I've NEVER gotten flowers. Well, actually he did pick me a flowering weed from the yard once, and I thought it was so sweet !
Eat that all you picky girls!

Hang in there all you single guys. You will find your queen someday!

ItsCasey

I think he was raised with manners...lots of women SAY they want a nice guy, then when they meet one they find something wrong with him when he does something nice...just saying

I agree, and this is how you know when a woman has a major self-esteem deficiency, which most women do these days. A woman who gets mad at you for treating her well clearly doesn't think very much of herself, and if you're going to hang around for that, well, be prepared for an emotional roller coaster.

I don't understand why women no longer think they are special. When did it become a bad thing for a man to pick you up at your place (with flowers even!), take you out for a nice evening (and by "nice," I don't mean "expensive;" I mean "pleasant"), and escort you home at the end of the night? Now, if you suggest picking a woman up rather than having her meet you somewhere or if you bring her flowers or if you insist on paying for her meal, you're "creepy" or "moving too fast."

I had a blind date last week with a friend of a friend. He called me the day before we went out to ask where I wanted to meet. I told him I meet friends at restaurants; I don't meet gentlemen I'm dating anywhere. That was all I had to say. He acted like a man, came to my door, and treated me like a queen the entire night. I told him he made me feel special, and he said "That's the highest compliment you could've paid me." We already have plans to see each other again tomorrow night and again after Christmas. It is not that complicated, y'all.

Meeting a man you're dating at the restaurant keeps them from knowing where you live. I don't want someone I don't know well in or near my home, because you just don't know about people. Plus, you can end the date when you want and not have to be driven home.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't accept dates with men if the idea of them knowing where I live makes me nervous. That's a pretty big red flag for me. But I'm not an idiot. If you're an idiot, well, I can't be held responsible for your poor decision-making skills. Besides, if he knows your name, he can find out where you live.

I would get into why it's incredibly classless to ditch a man in the middle of a date YOU agreed to, but it would evidently go right over the heads of most of the women here.

servilia

I think he was raised with manners...lots of women SAY they want a nice guy, then when they meet one they find something wrong with him when he does something nice...just saying

I agree, and this is how you know when a woman has a major self-esteem deficiency, which most women do these days. A woman who gets mad at you for treating her well clearly doesn't think very much of herself, and if you're going to hang around for that, well, be prepared for an emotional roller coaster.

I don't understand why women no longer think they are special. When did it become a bad thing for a man to pick you up at your place (with flowers even!), take you out for a nice evening (and by "nice," I don't mean "expensive;" I mean "pleasant"), and escort you home at the end of the night? Now, if you suggest picking a woman up rather than having her meet you somewhere or if you bring her flowers or if you insist on paying for her meal, you're "creepy" or "moving too fast."

I had a blind date last week with a friend of a friend. He called me the day before we went out to ask where I wanted to meet. I told him I meet friends at restaurants; I don't meet gentlemen I'm dating anywhere. That was all I had to say. He acted like a man, came to my door, and treated me like a queen the entire night. I told him he made me feel special, and he said "That's the highest compliment you could've paid me." We already have plans to see each other again tomorrow night and again after Christmas. It is not that complicated, y'all.

Meeting a man you're dating at the restaurant keeps them from knowing where you live. I don't want someone I don't know well in or near my home, because you just don't know about people. Plus, you can end the date when you want and not have to be driven home.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't accept dates with men if the idea of them knowing where I live makes me nervous. That's a pretty big red flag for me. But I'm not an idiot. If you're an idiot, well, I can't be held responsible for your poor decision-making skills. Besides, if he knows your name, he can find out where you live.

I would get into why it's incredibly classless to ditch a man in the middle of a date YOU agreed to, but it would evidently go right over the heads of most of the women here.

I can totally see why a woman would want to have a choice in when to end the date. It's not "classless" to want to leave a date if the guy's a complete creep or *kitten*.

Aussiefirebird02

Seriously - if a guy bought me roses I would think that was the most beautiful and romantic gesture! I have had a complete stranger give me a rose and I was completely flattered.

I think it depends on whether you are a woman who likes the romantic touch or not. Personally I think this is gorgeous! Hi 5 rose giving dudes!! :-)

christine24t

Just without thinking too hard, it seems like a nice gesture.

seventwenty

There has to be more to this story. Flowers may or may not be a huge deal, but did the guy come across as awkward the whole time? Did he come across as creepy? Is she just high maintenance?