In love with flatmate, what to do?

baypathgradLyns

Awww kiss him honey!


This is me being the little old lady across the hall.

lol, cute!

baypathgradLyns

Please come back and tell us how it went... dying to know the outcome!

Yes! this! please keep us posted

baypathgradLyns

IMO, it sounds like he likes you...but I am not an expert on the intentions of men lol

erin755

I would'nt cookk him a romantic meal, i think it cud b a bit cringy wen uz rnt togher! Wat I wud do,is wen he comes hme from work, surprise him by having a chinese takeout for u both and a dvd! mention that u fot uz cud hav a cosy night for the night! He wont b able to resist a chinese nd A WAR FILM or sumit NOT a chik flik! any way ease the topic into convo like "U wud swear we wer boyfriend girlfriend," (laugh) "look at us sitting all cosy together!" Then say "I wouldn't mind u being my boyfriend, ur so nice." But laff it off, so if he doesnt speak up u no its nt wat he is looking for, nd uz r still frriends bcoz he onli fnks u made a funni remark, nd didnt embarass urself by saying u love him! hope all goes well, let us no wat happens!

thea0101

Another thing: I agree about NOT making it look like you did the first move so you don't crash and burn....


However, there are ways of making the guy make the first move...if you know what I mean, ladies... :drinker: Cheers!

determinedsocialworker

I started reading the thread hoping it had started a week ago or something and I would get to know the outcome by the end.. but I guess not! LOL Don't make it into some major event or you're going to be all weird and it won't be any fun. Have a glass of wine, make something to eat..chat.. just be you..and add some honesty in there about how you think he's a great guy and you don't expect anything from him but that you are finding yourself having a bit of a crush on him..or you have feelings for him.. whatever you're comfortable with... just see how it goes... and yeah, no mentioning love... unless it's about what you made for dinner! Good luck and yes, I'd like an update so I can live vicariously through you for a bit longer.

12skipafew99100

Maybe drop a hint like "Wow, I think I could really get into you" when he does something really nice. Do not declair your love for him. Slow, slow, slow. If its meant to be, it will happen. Don't do or say anything you might want to take back later.

_Ben

Based off your initial post, I'd say he already likes you

MikeM53082

late night, drunken hook-up.

thea0101

I started reading the thread hoping it had started a week ago or something and I would get to know the outcome by the end.. but I guess not! LOL Don't make it into some major event or you're going to be all weird and it won't be any fun. Have a glass of wine, make something to eat..chat.. just be you..and add some honesty in there about how you think he's a great guy and you don't expect anything from him but that you are finding yourself having a bit of a crush on him..or you have feelings for him.. whatever you're comfortable with... just see how it goes... and yeah, no mentioning love... unless it's about what you made for dinner! Good luck and yes, I'd like an update so I can live vicariously through you for a bit longer.

Your post made me smile. I'm remembering all those times in high school and college..... :flowerforyou:

ceilidh92

I agree with much of what has been said but I will give an idea of how I would carry the night out as:

1.) Wear something good looking (complimenting your looks but not look like you’re dressed up too much). Sexy but understated.

2.) Keep the meal simple because it just adds additional pressure in making it just right. If someone just cooks for me, I love it. It doesn't really matter what it is. It's the gesture of cooking for me & the company they give me.

3.) Keep the conversation light. Ask about him, what he likes to do or if you already know what he likes to do, ask about what it is that interests him in it. In other words, have him feel like you’re interested in getting to know him better. Make him feel the center of your attention. Hopefully he will return the favor to you and you two get to know much more about each and feel closer, no matter what happens next (dear friend, partner, or ???).

4.) Mention how fond you are of having such a sweet flatmate and that you really appreciate his gestures of kindness. And that you have other friends that have roommates/flatmates that don’t do this and that is a very appreciated gesture.

5.) Be cautious about having the night go much further than a kiss & snuggling. Leave the energy build between you and not throw all caution to the wind by doing something that will complicate defining what you to might have. I know I sound a little traditional (which I am rarely myself, believe me), but to protect what you have and try to gentlely build upon it. You must be slow and patient.

6.) And also above all, keep from over embellishing your feelings for him. To overwhelm with an “I love you” comment, can make for awkwardness for him and a very nervous, potentially crushing situation for you. You can express your sincere adoration for him in this evening’s conversation and then he can absorb it a little and search his own feelings to express to you. By giving him an excuse to think about you, you let nature take its path instead of forcing it down the path you want. Too often people feel pressured in echoing a comment of “I love you”, when they may not be ready to say it. So making it much lighter, brings the feelings to light with a light tap instead of a two-by-four over the head.

That is my 2 cents…

Good Luck,
David

Prozack1964

Being open and honest is the only way

RedHotChiliSteppers

Just go do something fun together and then at the end YOU go in for the kiss.

If he has feelings for you too he will of course kiss you and love it.

I have had times where the girl made the first move and it was the best ever. I'd think to myself, I should have just done it earlier a long time ago!

bnv08

this is so sweet! i'm sure he has the same feeling but is to afraid to say anything so he is showing his affection through nice gestures. you have to tell him how you feel or else you might regret it forever. i can't wait to see what happens!

clarkeje1

bump

warmachinejt

i really like a girl and if she told me she loved me i would melt away inside lol but anyways tell him you like something about him (not what any other girl would say, like the way he does things for you) and ask him out? maybe ask him out first im no expert but thats what i'd like

erickirb

Sneak into his room late at night with nothing on and crawl into his bed. This would surly get his attention.

kb455

he packs you lunch and gives you chocolates as a nice surprise?!!? thats man speak for "please notice me" I am 90% sure of it. You are smart AND pretty and he clearly cares for you

I agree. I can't imagine a guy going to that trouble for someone he sees as simply a roommate and nothing more. There's a good chance he feels for you the same way you feel for him. I'd just drop some subtle hints to him and see how he responds.

warmachinejt

don't be subtle please cause of lot of us have no clue when you like us, i speak for experience
TELL HIM
i only found out 2 girls liked me in HS (back then) but that's cause they TOLD me
it is very easy to only pass off as nice and not flirting so make clear you're interest (again this is my opinion)

MrDude_1

ooh, its like a real life sitcom.
bump to see what happens next.

H_Factor

if you don't tell him, you're just giving another girl the chance to. WHAT IF you never have the chance to find out his feelings for you because you didn't tell him your feelings? No need to use the love word, but tell him that you have strong feelings for him.

Pookylou

*sits, gets popcorn* oooooo what is going to happen??
Good luck, I think he likes you too :blushing:

purplerain011

bump
Goodluck.

ChaseAlder

If it were me, I'd broach the subject carefully. I wouldn't make a big romantic scene unless I was absolutely sure he liked me. If you make a big romantic dinner and lay it all out there and he doesn't feel the same, candles and wine will only make you feel more awkward and vulnerable.

I would bring it up lightly when you both have a way to get out of there if things don't pan out the way you want... for example, make light plans (movies with friends or something) and then an hour before you leave, tell him. Then if he rejects you, you can be like "Ok, well, I'm meeting friends so I'd better get going." And if he doesn't reject you, you can stay for a while, or even cancel the movies.

That's what I would do.

Slugsasarus

KEEP US UPDATED. I NEED TO KNOW HOW THIS TURNS OUT!

You're very pretty, and from all of his little gestures, it sounds like he likes you. But even if he doesn't, he seems like a really sweet guy, and wouldn't be weird or awkward if he didn't feel the same way. We know one thing, he cares about you, so either way, I think things will turn out just fine!

havingitall

I am mother to a 21 year old male. I can tell you with all honesty that they are absolutely clueless when female likes them, My husband is the same way too.

If you are interested in him, tell him that you are. Don't go overboard with a ton of emotions but put it out there that you are interested in him.

mhotch

A definitive "NO", is easier to live with then years of "woulda, shoulda, coulda". Let him know how you feel. There is great advise in this thread, I cannot add any better.

Keep us posted, I am curious how it works out.

LemonsAndCoffee

OMGosh, I just have to know what happens with this! It's like our own MFP soap opera :bigsmile:

Good luck to the OP!!

quara

I too am bumping so I can see what happens!! I say go for it, girl!

adidrea

It sounds like he already likes you if he does all of those sweet things! If I were you, I would take the chance and tell him (but it sounds like you're already planning a little something special for him :flowerforyou: ). I wouldn't tell him "I love you" because you're right, it could scare him off...you're not dating just yet. Just tell him you have feelings for him that have developed past friendship and that you would like to be more than friends. Be yourself, stay confident, and don't let it ruin your friendship if it doesn't work out (But I'm 99.9% sure that it will work out!!).

Come back and tell us how it went, I'd love to hear the ending!