friends with benefits
Replies
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I never had a FWB0 -
I think as long as you are concious that nothing else will happen... then it's fine! the problem comes when feelings get involved. See it as a business transaction, that way... no problem!
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Only losers do that type of crap. Get your head screwed on straight. What is wrong with y'all, get your mind outta the gutter.0
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I think it can. Way back when I was single, there was a guy who this worked well with. But, we weren't great friends to begin with. We didn't talk about our day, we didn't snuggle, no pillow talk. It was something that worked because there was an element of detachment.
Then, there was a time it didn't work. I fell in love with him. We stopped. I met my husband. He decided he did love me and wanted to try. I chose to stay with my husband (who was not my husband then).0 -
It worked only once - sort of - for me. We no longer speak.0
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I have always preferred FWB ... usually nobody gets hurt if everyone is honest about the arrangement. I've had a few men think that somehow eventually I would become their girl .. and they did get hurt I think...
But then, I had a FWB go terribly wrong ...we were in agreement on everything, on the same page, totally honest ... and then we kinda fell in love with each other. OOOOPS!!!
We're getting married in four months.0 -
This could only actually work if both people involved had no ego whatsoever. So if two humanoid robots wanted to be FWBs, it'd work. Better movie than Kutcher and Portman or Kunis and Timberlake too.0
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It can work.
Just don't go looking for something that its not...0 -
People who indulge in that kind of thing end up losing their capacity to bond with a significant other. There is a kind of hardness of heart that the practice requires, the using, not giving aspect, that ends up twisting the person significantly.
Women especially can be the losers in this, because their physiology is built in such a way that they bond more deeply to their first sexual partner than to any subsequent one. The science is out there, so you can google your way to it. As the song goes, the pleasure last but a moment, but the sadness lasts a lifetime. There is never the same degree of passion.
But men can be the losers, especially if they are good at this game. Later they are unable to form families because they can`t bond with a woman. This leaves them without support networks as they age, and accounts for the higher degree of suicide in older single males.
There is no such thing as a free lunch. You end up paying for it one way or the other.0 -
Hey I just got that movie in from Netflix!
I'll be watching it tonight with my former FWB who is now my SO.
Don't ever let someone tell you what does and doesn't work. They ain't you.0 -
Either very snarky and funny, or spoken like a true prude...Only losers do that type of crap. Get your head screwed on straight. What is wrong with y'all, get your mind outta the gutter.0 -
It can work as long as you lay down the ground rules. Make damn sure that they know they're not your partner, they're your friend you happen to want to ****. As long as that's directly implied, their feelings are their problem. :laugh:0
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People who indulge in that kind of thing end up losing their capacity to bond with a significant other. There is a kind of hardness of heart that the practice requires, the using, not giving aspect, that ends up twisting the person significantly.
Women especially can be the losers in this, because their physiology is built in such a way that they bond more deeply to their first sexual partner than to any subsequent one. The science is out there, so you can google your way to it. As the song goes, the pleasure last but a moment, but the sadness lasts a lifetime. There is never the same degree of passion.
But men can be the losers, especially if they are good at this game. Later they are unable to form families because they can`t bond with a woman. This leaves them without support networks as they age, and accounts for the higher degree of suicide in older single males.
There is no such thing as a free lunch. You end up paying for it one way or the other.
I somewhat agree with you on your point of view and can agree to men being detached but I can also tell you that my heart did not stay that way but for some time it was that way.0 -
People who indulge in that kind of thing end up losing their capacity to bond with a significant other. There is a kind of hardness of heart that the practice requires, the using, not giving aspect, that ends up twisting the person significantly.
Women especially can be the losers in this, because their physiology is built in such a way that they bond more deeply to their first sexual partner than to any subsequent one. The science is out there, so you can google your way to it. As the song goes, the pleasure last but a moment, but the sadness lasts a lifetime. There is never the same degree of passion.
But men can be the losers, especially if they are good at this game. Later they are unable to form families because they can`t bond with a woman. This leaves them without support networks as they age, and accounts for the higher degree of suicide in older single males.
There is no such thing as a free lunch. You end up paying for it one way or the other.
Absolutley true, no such thing as a free lunch. My dad use to say marrying a woman was like eating ala Cart, you take what looks good to you at the moment, and you end paying for it later....0 -
Finding someone with good health insurance and a nice 401k savings plan is all good... what benefits YOU talkin' bout?0
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I dont think it ever works, in my case I lost a very special friend. One gets feelings,can this ever work out? any one successful with it...mean both sides are 100% cool, or is it destined to have one or both hurt?0 -
Hey I just got that movie in from Netflix!
I'll be watching it tonight with my former FWB who is now my SO.
Don't ever let someone tell you what does and doesn't work. They ain't you.
No offense dude, but that means it didn't work. While ultimately it may have worked out for the two of you (and congratulations on that!) But, the idea of FWB would be to stay FWB without ever developing feelings, whether those feelings are love or hate.
So again, congratulations on failing in your FWB scheme. May it be your most successful fail ever!0 -
To be honest. It has never worked for me. I ended up catching feelings or they would and jealousy on both ends. Its a mess. So... for me no, but it may work with others.0
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It worked out great for me. I had a relationship like that for almost 2 years. We were the best of friends and he set me up on dates, we were best friends with benifits. She is now wife of almost 17 years.0
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I've tried it, but don't care for it. I prefer having the whole package. Someone usually gets hurt.0
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Personally it's not for me...
but I think if you don't get attached emotionally it could work.0 -
Never been that type of guy, so I can't help ya out. I figured if she's my "friend," then how many "friends" does she have? LOL, I never was very good at sharing! : )0
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It worked out great for me. I had a relationship like that for almost 2 years. We were the best of friends and he set me up on dates, we were best friends with benifits. She is now wife of almost 17 years.
Again, it didn't work for you! It worked out for you! Big difference. Congrats on your long standing marriage, that's awesome. But you got the story book ending and that does not mean you were a success at FWB. It means you failed. An awesome fail, but a fail nonetheless.
Congrats again!0 -
I have always preferred FWB ... usually nobody gets hurt if everyone is honest about the arrangement. I've had a few men think that somehow eventually I would become their girl .. and they did get hurt I think...
But then, I had a FWB go terribly wrong ...we were in agreement on everything, on the same page, totally honest ... and then we kinda fell in love with each other. OOOOPS!!!
We're getting married in four months.
You don't HAVE to... you don't sound enthused. This is for LIFE!0 -
Definately feel it's a couple to couple thing, but my experience is that someone always develops feelings. Plus, many times it can ruin what was a great friendship.
These days I would rather have the real deal, love, smiles, tears, fights, and all.0 -
It has never worked for me...... The guys I have been involved with (say it that way instead of making a generalization about dudes) got attached really fast and then always seemed to want to push it further than what I wanted - then the jealousy would start... I didn't want a COMMITMENT or anything like that... HENCE the FRIENDS part... But ya know... Maybe it was just the dudes I was involved with...0
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worked for me! it still is been going on for 11 years...0
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not for me!
if they're my friend and I want to have sex with them well it's only natural i want ALL of them.
How many is all?0 -
It can work as long as both people are on the same page.0
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It can work as long as both people are on the same page.
Same page? Most people aren't even reading the same book!!!0
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