friends with benefits

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  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    FWB should ultimately be about having a mutually beneficial friendship with someone where an occasional release is enjoyed by all.

    As such, it should require a willingness on both parts to put the other person's interests ahead of their own, which means understanding it when the other finds someone that they want to be exclusive with.

    If the two parties don't have that perspective then jealousy and anger and stalking can get in the mix and really mess things up.

    And at the end of a FWB (because someone is committed elsewhere) should be a great and lasting friendship.

    very diplomatic of you :wink:
  • kardowling
    kardowling Posts: 221 Member
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    Nope. Someone always develops feelings, someone always ends up hurt. Even with good communication.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    12 years experience running a dating advice site has shown me that it's very rare for them to work out. One of two things usually happens. Either one person develops feelings for the other, or one is so paranoid about the other developing feelings that he/she ruins all the fun.
  • sylvuz323
    sylvuz323 Posts: 468 Member
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    It's worked for me and never ended with hurt feelings on either side. It was an ideal relationship since we were both so busy with our personal family stuff. We would talk a lot on a personal level, perhaps why we are still friends now without the benefits. We just both knew we weren't in a place in our lives to have a relationship.
  • MattGetsMad
    MattGetsMad Posts: 429 Member
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    It works in making crappy movies...
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
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    Hmmmmm this could turn into a long response. Ill make it short. Didn't work out well. Try to avoid it if at all possible.
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
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    lol, i coudlnt be friends with benefits, id just end up losing all respect for myself and the girl.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    can this ever work out? any one successful with it...mean both sides are 100% cool, or is it destined to have one or both hurt?

    It can work (I have had it work out very well), but usually either someone gets hurt, or you end up in a relationship. Last time I did that, I ended up married to the guy. Of course he's now my best friend, with LOTS of benefits (including having a dish washer), so I can't complain.
  • tinalatina
    tinalatina Posts: 499 Member
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    Nope...dont think so. Someone always getting butt-hurt or attached or jealous.....annoying!
  • fatty2fabby
    fatty2fabby Posts: 415 Member
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    I think someone always gets hurt. I've done it once and it was such a mess! Never again!
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
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    Untitled-1.jpg

    I never had a FWB
  • maricuchi_1982
    maricuchi_1982 Posts: 9
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    I think as long as you are concious that nothing else will happen... then it's fine! the problem comes when feelings get involved. See it as a business transaction, that way... no problem!:smile:
  • eatlift
    eatlift Posts: 113
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    Only losers do that type of crap. Get your head screwed on straight. What is wrong with y'all, get your mind outta the gutter.
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
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    I think it can. Way back when I was single, there was a guy who this worked well with. But, we weren't great friends to begin with. We didn't talk about our day, we didn't snuggle, no pillow talk. It was something that worked because there was an element of detachment.

    Then, there was a time it didn't work. I fell in love with him. We stopped. I met my husband. He decided he did love me and wanted to try. I chose to stay with my husband (who was not my husband then).
  • drvvork
    drvvork Posts: 1,162
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    It worked only once - sort of - for me. We no longer speak.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    I have always preferred FWB ... usually nobody gets hurt if everyone is honest about the arrangement. I've had a few men think that somehow eventually I would become their girl .. and they did get hurt I think...

    But then, I had a FWB go terribly wrong ...we were in agreement on everything, on the same page, totally honest ... and then we kinda fell in love with each other. OOOOPS!!!

    We're getting married in four months.
  • MattGetsMad
    MattGetsMad Posts: 429 Member
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    This could only actually work if both people involved had no ego whatsoever. So if two humanoid robots wanted to be FWBs, it'd work. Better movie than Kutcher and Portman or Kunis and Timberlake too.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
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    It can work.

    Just don't go looking for something that its not...
  • grassette
    grassette Posts: 976 Member
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    People who indulge in that kind of thing end up losing their capacity to bond with a significant other. There is a kind of hardness of heart that the practice requires, the using, not giving aspect, that ends up twisting the person significantly.

    Women especially can be the losers in this, because their physiology is built in such a way that they bond more deeply to their first sexual partner than to any subsequent one. The science is out there, so you can google your way to it. As the song goes, the pleasure last but a moment, but the sadness lasts a lifetime. There is never the same degree of passion.

    But men can be the losers, especially if they are good at this game. Later they are unable to form families because they can`t bond with a woman. This leaves them without support networks as they age, and accounts for the higher degree of suicide in older single males.

    There is no such thing as a free lunch. You end up paying for it one way or the other.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Hey I just got that movie in from Netflix!

    I'll be watching it tonight with my former FWB who is now my SO.

    Don't ever let someone tell you what does and doesn't work. They ain't you.

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