friends with benefits

_JamieB_

I think it all depends on the situation both people are in....but I think it could work!! Maybe a booty call would be better, just leave the friend part out, hahaha!!

MaximalLife

And if you don't agree with me you can go benefit yourself! :laugh: Just kidding!!!

:embarassed:

xSophia19

I have quite a few 'special' friends, it does make me think sometimes 'why am i doing this?, it can turn out quite dangerous!' not only if another lad found out i was sleeeping with different lads, but what if i became pregnant?! I would have to go on the Jeremy Kyle show for DNA test results!! And i dont want that! I will get slated down to the ground as i would be on national television!! I seriously need to stop, i feel as though its great at the time, but it wouldnt be fun n games when something drastic happens!

I kinda feel used n abused at the same time =/

Jennicia

I think it starts off ok but eventually, feelings surface with one or the other. Just my opinion tho...

Sauchie

I love my FWB he's my best friend not expectations just fun. But you need to talk about it before jumping right into it.

kevinlynch3

Sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't....it worked great for me until she developed feelings and I think that sometimes one or other of the partners "hopes" a fwb situation turns into something more. Then when it doesn't..someone gets hurt.

If you really are on the same page..it works.

dragonfly74

Hell no. Who wants to settle for that?

Who says it's 'settling'?

A FWB doesn't preclude other relationships, nor does it act as a nail in the coffin. It's a relationship in which needs are met, fun is had, and the openness remains for each to have their own lives, without the complication of romance.

Exactly!

and this is what is wrong with society today.

FWB isn't exactly a 'newly created' concept. It's been in existence for millenia. And it was a widely accepted and participated-in practice. It is only since the encroachment of 'christian' beliefs, that practices such as these, which I believe to be quite natural and healthy, began to be persecuted against.

Thanks for clearing that up. It has never been a concept for me. And I pray, yes I pray, my kids will have more respect for themselves and others. I had no idea this has been the normal practice for so long.

rockerbabyy

it depends on the people involved and the rules set at the beginning.
if everyones on teh same page and follows the rules, it works.

VictorianJade

Hell no. Who wants to settle for that?

Who says it's 'settling'?

A FWB doesn't preclude other relationships, nor does it act as a nail in the coffin. It's a relationship in which needs are met, fun is had, and the openness remains for each to have their own lives, without the complication of romance.

Exactly!

and this is what is wrong with society today.

FWB isn't exactly a 'newly created' concept. It's been in existence for millenia. And it was a widely accepted and participated-in practice. It is only since the encroachment of 'christian' beliefs, that practices such as these, which I believe to be quite natural and healthy, began to be persecuted against.

Thanks for clearing that up. It has never been a concept for me. And I pray, yes I pray, my kids will have more respect for themselves and others.

And I can respect your wishes on that... but looking down your nose at others for not believing as you is.... well. We will be judged as we judge.

dragonfly74

Hell no. Who wants to settle for that?

Who says it's 'settling'?

A FWB doesn't preclude other relationships, nor does it act as a nail in the coffin. It's a relationship in which needs are met, fun is had, and the openness remains for each to have their own lives, without the complication of romance.

Exactly!

and this is what is wrong with society today.

FWB isn't exactly a 'newly created' concept. It's been in existence for millenia. And it was a widely accepted and participated-in practice. It is only since the encroachment of 'christian' beliefs, that practices such as these, which I believe to be quite natural and healthy, began to be persecuted against.

Thanks for clearing that up. It has never been a concept for me. And I pray, yes I pray, my kids will have more respect for themselves and others.

And I can respect your wishes on that... but looking down your nose at others for not believing as you is.... well. We will be judged as we judge.

You win. I want better for my kids (might be going out on a limb but guessing you dont have any). My parents taught me to respect myself.

VictorianJade

Hell no. Who wants to settle for that?

Who says it's 'settling'?

A FWB doesn't preclude other relationships, nor does it act as a nail in the coffin. It's a relationship in which needs are met, fun is had, and the openness remains for each to have their own lives, without the complication of romance.

Exactly!

and this is what is wrong with society today.

FWB isn't exactly a 'newly created' concept. It's been in existence for millenia. And it was a widely accepted and participated-in practice. It is only since the encroachment of 'christian' beliefs, that practices such as these, which I believe to be quite natural and healthy, began to be persecuted against.

Thanks for clearing that up. It has never been a concept for me. And I pray, yes I pray, my kids will have more respect for themselves and others.

And I can respect your wishes on that... but looking down your nose at others for not believing as you is.... well. We will be judged as we judge.

To add to your comment about it being a practice for so long... monogamy is a recent concept, in comparison with how far back we can trace human history.

I, and all of my FWBs, have respected ourselves and each other- how is it disrespectful to myself, to pursue the meeting of my needs? How is it showing a lack of self confidence for me to celebrate my body, my personality, and my sexuality, by engaging in a safe, consentual, and fun activity, with a like-minded person? Sex is fun, healthy, wholesome, and an expression of self-confidence and confidence in your partner... making it something to be ashamed of... is ALSO a new concept, in relation to the scale of human history for which we have evidence.

dragonfly74

Hell no. Who wants to settle for that?

Who says it's 'settling'?

A FWB doesn't preclude other relationships, nor does it act as a nail in the coffin. It's a relationship in which needs are met, fun is had, and the openness remains for each to have their own lives, without the complication of romance.

Exactly!

and this is what is wrong with society today.

FWB isn't exactly a 'newly created' concept. It's been in existence for millenia. And it was a widely accepted and participated-in practice. It is only since the encroachment of 'christian' beliefs, that practices such as these, which I believe to be quite natural and healthy, began to be persecuted against.

Thanks for clearing that up. It has never been a concept for me. And I pray, yes I pray, my kids will have more respect for themselves and others.

And I can respect your wishes on that... but looking down your nose at others for not believing as you is.... well. We will be judged as we judge.

To add to your comment about it being a practice for so long... monogamy is a recent concept, in comparison with how far back we can trace human history.

I, and all of my FWBs, have respected ourselves and each other- how is it disrespectful to myself, to pursue the meeting of my needs? How is it showing a lack of self confidence for me to celebrate my body, my personality, and my sexuality, by engaging in a safe, consentual, and fun activity, with a like-minded person? Sex is fun, healthy, wholesome, and an expression of self-confidence and confidence in your partner... making it something to be ashamed of... is ALSO a new concept, in relation to the scale of human history for which we have evidence.

Are you married? Sounds like you are not. Until then continue to pursue the "meeting of your needs" and good luck to you.

VictorianJade

Hell no. Who wants to settle for that?

Who says it's 'settling'?

A FWB doesn't preclude other relationships, nor does it act as a nail in the coffin. It's a relationship in which needs are met, fun is had, and the openness remains for each to have their own lives, without the complication of romance.

Exactly!

and this is what is wrong with society today.

FWB isn't exactly a 'newly created' concept. It's been in existence for millenia. And it was a widely accepted and participated-in practice. It is only since the encroachment of 'christian' beliefs, that practices such as these, which I believe to be quite natural and healthy, began to be persecuted against.

Thanks for clearing that up. It has never been a concept for me. And I pray, yes I pray, my kids will have more respect for themselves and others.

And I can respect your wishes on that... but looking down your nose at others for not believing as you is.... well. We will be judged as we judge.

To add to your comment about it being a practice for so long... monogamy is a recent concept, in comparison with how far back we can trace human history.

I, and all of my FWBs, have respected ourselves and each other- how is it disrespectful to myself, to pursue the meeting of my needs? How is it showing a lack of self confidence for me to celebrate my body, my personality, and my sexuality, by engaging in a safe, consentual, and fun activity, with a like-minded person? Sex is fun, healthy, wholesome, and an expression of self-confidence and confidence in your partner... making it something to be ashamed of... is ALSO a new concept, in relation to the scale of human history for which we have evidence.

Are you married? Sounds like you are not. Until then continue to pursue the "meetings of your needs" and good luck to you.

Actually, I am. Quite happily.

seekingthepatienceofjob

If you want to risk a good friendship, you can be friends with benefits. Like everyone else says, it depends on a lot of things. Personally when I tried it, it was a disaster. Not because we developed feeling for each other, but because before we decided to be FWB, we could hang out, go to the movies, talk about anything...it soon just became about sex. Im sorry, but I would never risk another perfectly good friendship.

dragonfly74

Hell no. Who wants to settle for that?

Who says it's 'settling'?

A FWB doesn't preclude other relationships, nor does it act as a nail in the coffin. It's a relationship in which needs are met, fun is had, and the openness remains for each to have their own lives, without the complication of romance.

Exactly!

and this is what is wrong with society today.

FWB isn't exactly a 'newly created' concept. It's been in existence for millenia. And it was a widely accepted and participated-in practice. It is only since the encroachment of 'christian' beliefs, that practices such as these, which I believe to be quite natural and healthy, began to be persecuted against.

Thanks for clearing that up. It has never been a concept for me. And I pray, yes I pray, my kids will have more respect for themselves and others.

And I can respect your wishes on that... but looking down your nose at others for not believing as you is.... well. We will be judged as we judge.

To add to your comment about it being a practice for so long... monogamy is a recent concept, in comparison with how far back we can trace human history.

I, and all of my FWBs, have respected ourselves and each other- how is it disrespectful to myself, to pursue the meeting of my needs? How is it showing a lack of self confidence for me to celebrate my body, my personality, and my sexuality, by engaging in a safe, consentual, and fun activity, with a like-minded person? Sex is fun, healthy, wholesome, and an expression of self-confidence and confidence in your partner... making it something to be ashamed of... is ALSO a new concept, in relation to the scale of human history for which we have evidence.

Are you married? Sounds like you are not. Until then continue to pursue the "meetings of your needs" and good luck to you.

Actually, I am. Quite

VictorianJade

Sounds like it must be open. Glad if that works for you.

It is, has been for the 10.5 years we've been together.

dragonfly74

Sounds like it must be open. Glad if that works for you.

It is, has been for the 10.5 years we've been together.

Yuck.

VictorianJade

Sounds like it must be open. Glad if that works for you.

It is, has been for the 10.5 years we've been together.

Yuck.

*smirks*

felice03

Sounds like it must be open. Glad if that works for you.

It is, has been for the 10.5 years we've been together.

Yuck.

*smirks*

thank you for making my thread fabulous!

CraigG75

Can't catch feelings in these situations. Almost always it seems like someone does.

1WorkoutAtATime

nah, eventually somebody is gonna get hurt / catch feelings..

VictorianJade

You win. I want better for my kids (might be going out on a limb but guessing you dont have any). My parents taught me to respect myself.

I'd like to point out that a) you have a penchant for editing your posts. Say what you mean, the first time.
b) Commenting on my situation with children - is not relevant. I grew up with a mother like you, which is largely what formed my beliefs (good luck!).

SofaKingRad

Can't catch feelings in these situations. Almost always it seems like someone does.

FWBS! You can't catch feelings, but you can catch da herps!

rachcamp88

And I pray, yes I pray, my kids will have more respect for themselves and others.

Having a FWB does not mean that you don't respect yourself or others. Personally I would rather sleep with the same person rather than have one night stands with random guys. After coming out of a long term relationship I don't want to date someone right now,that doesn't mean I don't enjoy sex or want to stop having it. I can't see any reason why this means I don't respect myself.

dragonfly74

You win. I want better for my kids (might be going out on a limb but guessing you dont have any). My parents taught me to respect myself.

I'd like to point out that a) you have a penchant for editing your posts. Say what you mean, the first time.
b) Commenting on my situation with children - is not relevant. I grew up with a mother like you, which is largely what formed my beliefs (good luck!).

I grew up with a mom like me too! Looks like I have a 50/50 shot :laugh:

Edited to correct my iPad.

grassette

People who indulge in that kind of thing end up losing their capacity to bond with a significant other. There is a kind of hardness of heart that the practice requires, the using, not giving aspect, that ends up twisting the person significantly.

Women especially can be the losers in this, because their physiology is built in such a way that they bond more deeply to their first sexual partner than to any subsequent one. The science is out there, so you can google your way to it. As the song goes, the pleasure last but a moment, but the sadness lasts a lifetime. There is never the same degree of passion.

But men can be the losers, especially if they are good at this game. Later they are unable to form families because they can`t bond with a woman. This leaves them without support networks as they age, and accounts for the higher degree of suicide in older single males.

There is no such thing as a free lunch. You end up paying for it one way or the other.

I would love to see citations of research showing this. Specifically, I would like to see citations from peer-reviewed, scientific journals.

Google away! They are out there.

shelliedanielle

For me it didnt end well. At first the friends with benefits was fine until we saw each other all the time and I got feelings for him, and he didnt for me. It sucked because I got heart broken even though we werent even dating. but still. Sometimes friends with benefits works and sometimes it doesnt. Probably not the smartest idea either.

catic

Yes it can work out, but I have found it has to be the right person.

thelovelyLIZ

I went down that road... it was pretty disastrous. It seems most of the time someone gets hurt. Occasionally they get together, and even rarer, it works out fine. But in my experience, it usually ends badly, even when guidelines are laid out.

And all the judge-y people saying people with FWB don't respect themselves need to GTFO. I don't partake in casual sex either, but that doesn't make me a better person than people who do.

rockerbabyy

Are you married? Sounds like you are not. Until then continue to pursue the "meeting of your needs" and good luck to you.

im married (and also have two daughters) and i still think theres nothing wrong with FWB. i dont currently have one, but did not too long ago. yes my husband knew about it. no he didnt mind. yes he had one too. we still love each other - we're still devoted to each other and have a happy marriage. it was something we branched into for fantasy reasons and we enjoyed it. we may or may not do something similar in the future, but who are you to judge? we both respect each other and ourselves, and if my children grow up to have FWB - more power to them! id much rather them do that than have one night stands with random people. if they choose to stay virgins til their married, its also a choice i would respect.