11 Year old needs help

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  • ChaseAlder
    ChaseAlder Posts: 804 Member
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    Buy Dance Central and/or Dance Central 2 for XBox Kinect. You can never tell you're working out when you're dancing to Lady Gaga.
  • lor007
    lor007 Posts: 884 Member
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    hey everyone! My 11 year old daughter is having such a tough year...

    She lost 2 Great Grandmothers over a period of 6 months and had her ADHD medication changed. she is Theater kid NOT a sport kid AT ALL... Cheerleading was the best we could get from her. She has flat feet and is overweight, although not by that much. She seems to be stalled in the height area and I see her watching the other girls her age grow taller and thinner.

    My daugher is about 20 lbs overweight. She also has only one friend who is most definintely obese.

    I worry constantly about her and dont know where to begin to help her without screwing with her head. Any ideas on how to get her off her butt and moving? she is very solitary and sedintary...and quite happy that way.

    She also eats like cr*p... and has since birth (she was a preemie and has always had an aversion to textures) so she does not eat any fruits or veggies AT ALL (except for French Fries)

    this child is so beautiful (literally has the face of a model) and can sing like an angel, I just worry that her weight will become more of an issue as she gets older adn I want her to be healthy!

    any suggestions would be great

    You say your daughter is 20 pounds overweight and your ticker shows you have 73 pounds left to lose. Is there any chance she could be following your example of eating/exercise patterns?

    Also, why does it matter if she doesn't enjoy sports? If she enjoys theater, I would encourage her to be active in theater, not push her into cheerleading. I apologize if I seem judgmental, but I am having a really hard time understanding this. Maybe you should seek help from a doctor, nutritionist or counselor.
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    hey everyone! My 11 year old daughter is having such a tough year...

    She lost 2 Great Grandmothers over a period of 6 months and had her ADHD medication changed. she is Theater kid NOT a sport kid AT ALL... Cheerleading was the best we could get from her. She has flat feet and is overweight, although not by that much. She seems to be stalled in the height area and I see her watching the other girls her age grow taller and thinner.

    My daugher is about 20 lbs overweight. She also has only one friend who is most definintely obese.

    I worry constantly about her and dont know where to begin to help her without screwing with her head. Any ideas on how to get her off her butt and moving? she is very solitary and sedintary...and quite happy that way.

    She also eats like cr*p... and has since birth (she was a preemie and has always had an aversion to textures) so she does not eat any fruits or veggies AT ALL (except for French Fries)

    this child is so beautiful (literally has the face of a model) and can sing like an angel, I just worry that her weight will become more of an issue as she gets older adn I want her to be healthy!

    any suggestions would be great

    I'm sorry, but it's time for you to be the parent. The kid NEEDS to eat veggies/fruits. Also, French Fries are NOT veggies.

    Best of luck, I hope you're successful.
  • godricshollow
    godricshollow Posts: 274 Member
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    Go for walks together!

    Or the dance games on the Wii and Kinect are really good for burning calories without actually feeling like a workout, you might even enjoy them too :)

    If she likes chocolate milk, this is an awesome sneaky recipe http://www.greenkitchenstories.com/raw-chocolate-shake/ I have it when i want my chocolate fix haha, it is delicious!
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
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    My mom: Eat your beans
    Me age 12: I hate beans
    Mom: well you can either eat it for dinner now or for break fast tomorrow
    beans for dinner it is.

    This.

    She eats like crap because you let her. She doesn't buy groceries or prepare the meals, you do. If she doesn't like what's made for dinner, tough. If she gets hungry enough she'll eat it. She's old enough to learn to be appreciative of what she gets and not just get her way all the time.

    As far as getting her off of her butt, maybe invest in a wii if you don't already have one and try having "family game nights" that revolve around games on the wii fit, Zumba, DDR, or something like that. Or if you have/want an xbox, there's always games on Kinect she could play to get her moving a little.
  • petreebird
    petreebird Posts: 344 Member
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    The only thing I have to offer is my own experience with my son.
    My son was your daughter, 5 years ago. We fought about foods, "I don't like that, I hate that" yadda yadda.

    Fast forward 4 years. He decided we he turned 15 that he didn't like the way he looked. He started working out with weights, (this was partially because he found himself grounded from all electronics quite a bit :grumble: ) and I noticed he became more adventurous with food. Then he joined the wrestling team!! OMG I about died!!! He went from couch potato to athlete in less than 6 months. He lost 30 pounds and is now in his 2 year of JV wrestling at his school!!! He is very conscious about what he eats because he wants to "make weight" and works out with the team 6 days a week for 2 hours.

    Don't despair, sometimes it just takes sometime to grow out of. Although when my son was your daughters age, i ran 3 miles a day and since he was too young to stay home, he grabbed a scooter and went with me...I told him I needed him to hold my water bottle. :laugh:
  • SLaw4215
    SLaw4215 Posts: 596 Member
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    I have a 13 year old that is obese. I let her start her own MFP account but that didn't work out so well. She wasn't into the food logging and there aren't many kids her age on here.

    When I go grocery shopping I let her push the cart and select her own groceries for the week. We have an understanding that she needs to choose a fruit, and a snack (100 calorie pack) and we get light turkey and wrap bread and zero calorie Chrystal Light AND GUMMY MULTIVITAMINS!!!! There's something about that that lets her know that I trust her and because she is planning her own menu for the week its' easier to keep her on track. I am not a big fan of letting heavy kids eat from the school lunch program. In my town the average lunch is 850 calories. That doesn't leave much for breakfast and dinner and it's mostly crappy --pizza, sub par burgers, etc so who needs it!!!???!!!

    My daughter is in middle school and plays the snare drum and she LOVES to draw. her online social live is more lively than her real life social life. She doesn't like to eat vegetables and thinks french fries and ranch dressing are their own food group. To that, I bought a Jack Lalane juicer last year. She likes feeding the fruit it the feed shaft and creating concoctions that are uniquely hers-- apple, grapes, pineapple are her favorites. I've personally juiced spinach, carrots, onions, sweet potatoes and so on and I swap the juice for the water used in things like Betty Crocker boxed potatoes. We called it Shrek casserole because of the odd green color from the spinach but it tasted perfectly cheesy like it would have and I got a pound of spinach into my family. Go MOM!!

    I've also bought the Wii (although I think Kinects might be a better product today) and we have Zumba, Just Dance, Wii Fit, and some other games that require arms to be moving to a rythem etc.

    I also gave her a puppy for Christmas. YES!!! this is a stretch but I'm teaching her responsibility and she has to take "Luna" for walks around the neighborhood every single night since it is HER dog and HER responsibility...etc etc.

    Best of Luck
  • Jamie145
    Jamie145 Posts: 164 Member
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    take all the "junk food" out of the house..u can limit the crap she eats ,yur the parent :) Maybe tell her as a FAMILY we all need to start eating healthy..start making low calorie meals and maybe go to her doc or a nutrionist to see how many cals she shud be eating a day..and maybe keep a food diary of what she eats..theres a lot of low cal snacks now a days..make her lunch for school..
  • inspirem
    inspirem Posts: 182 Member
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    The hardest thing for a parent to admit is being our child's enabler. Having adhd makes this difficult situation even more strained. So what to do? Well, deny her foods that she likes and you could have a binge eater on your hands when she gets access to them, but let her have whatever she wants, when she wants it, she'll never learn control...so finding the balance is key, compromise might work best in this situation. For every unhealthy option she chooses to eat, let her know that she has to have 2 healthy options along with it! Eventually she'll learn to like some of the healthier options, especially if she has a say so in choosing! The same with exercise for evey hour she sits and watches tv, make her do a half hour of some physical activity... zumba dvd for kids might be fun...It takes a strong parent to deal with this difficult disease because many adhd children are so impulsive with little thought of consequences! I hope you find that balance, but don't give up or give in to her whims or tantrums either, she needs you to be firm, yet loving!
  • abellante_0205
    abellante_0205 Posts: 368 Member
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    there are drinks for children who are picky eaters, i can't remember the name of it, but she should drink that, and try to minimize the fast food. Go for walks, get her to play outside with friends!!!! Go get a Wii or XBOX kinect!!! Get her moving with games like that! She may actually enjoy it. Also dance classes if shes into theater, she may enjoy it. They don't have weight requirements for young kids.
  • supershiny
    supershiny Posts: 170 Member
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    In general, encouraging what she is interested in (theater) is way better than forcing her into something she hates/dislikes (cheerleading/sports) as that will probably breed resentment and distrust. My suggestion? Buy her a Kinect or a Wii and some games and then play them with her.

    However, you specifically mention that she is on ADHD meds, happiest when she is sedentary/solitary, and has an aversion to textures. As someone who has multiple people in her life with Asperger's, those are classic childhood symptoms of Asperger's. My boyfriend is an aspie and his childhood could be summed up with those three things as well. :) Not to say that she has it, but if she did, it may be of great help to get help dealing with it (usually in the form of an Asperger's specialist counselor/psychologist). People with Asperger's have minds that work a little differently than the rest of us (process informaiton differently) and normal methods of motivation and support aren't always effective. Being a kid with Asperger's can be tough, so I would encourage you to at least read up and make sure she doesn't have it.
  • Suziq2you
    Suziq2you Posts: 396 Member
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    Maybe you could take a cooking class together? If french fries are her only veggie right now, make sure they are baked. Try adding sweet potato fries, zucchini fries, etc. If she won't eat a raw apple, try baking it with a bit of brown sugar and some raisins. Puree veggies for soups. Small, subtle changes work best. If texture is truly an issue telling her to eat or do without will not work.
  • syd1980
    syd1980 Posts: 283
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    My son is 11 years old and is over weight. He isn't into sports either. So i don't push that issue right now,but come warmer weather it will be the park, riding bikes, and anything i can think to get him moving. So with that said we are focusing on healthier eating. One thing that has helped is packing his lunch. When kids are picky eaters they are not eating at school, then coming home and raiding the refrigerator. We sit down and plan out his breakfast,lunch and snacks for school. I log his food on here to help me keep up with his foods. He takes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. The jelly is sugar free, and 1 tbsp of peanut butter. Also 1 ounce serving of pringles. Supper time i cook healthy as i can. I have one rule, he has to taste what i make. Some he likes some he don't. I have also let him try some of the lean cuisine meals, and he now asks for them occasional. Also there is alot of 100 calories packs and popcorn that she may like.

    Everyone will not agree with my choices, but it has helped us with learning better choices. My son can now pick up a box and know how to read labels. I wish you the best. It is mostly trial and error,but just keep trying.
  • ahinescapron
    ahinescapron Posts: 351 Member
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    I was very overweight as a kid and nerdy too. Please, don't bring up the weight thing with her. I would have loved it if someone had just made it about having fun together, rather than berating me about what I put in my mouth. I like the idea of video games with movement, like dance games or going walking together. Make sure you limit (meaning have rules about a time limit) the time she has doing inactive stuff like watching TV, because she can easily veg for hours and snack while doing it. In terms of food, I would try to include her in your shopping if possible. Teach her how to read a label and why we pick some things over others. Help her pick out some healthy snacks that she is going to want to eat. Get her involved in any way you can, because it will not be that long until she has to know this stuff for herself.
  • Sauchie
    Sauchie Posts: 357 Member
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    My daughter and i have mommy /daughter dance offs
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 795 Member
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    Her having flat feet will leave out some options like running, soccer and so on... probably also skating. Have you looked into a theatre/dance/performance kind of class? Something that would combine her interest with a little more activity?

    We have Wii games for our 7yo - DDR (the first one only - later versions have MTV videos that are not okay), Wii Fit Plus, and Ultimate Party Adventure. She plays on it a LOT, and breaks a sweat while just having fun.

    I think at age 11, I'd be focusing on trying to establish good habits, teaching her about taking care of herself (the American Girl books about hair, skin, etc are great). She's coming up on some huge changes and it's hard to say what might happen. One of the girls in my old church put on a bunch of weight all of a sudden then literally grew almost a foot in one year. She went from a chubby little girl to a slim young lady over the course of what seemed like just a few months.
  • Achiever7
    Achiever7 Posts: 8 Member
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    Jessica Seinfeld (Jerry's wife) has a cookbook called Deceptively Delicious, which has lots of ways to sneak veggies into kid favorites. It mostly involves making pureed veggies and adding them to things like pizza sauce or mac and cheese. I also would bet that if you served fruits and veggies as an appetizer when she is hungriest, she might munch a few bites down while she waits for dinner to be ready. Helps stave off the "I'm hungry" complaints.

    I would also suggest a regularly scheduled family walk. I do this with my eight year old, mostly just on the weekends, but I'm hoping to make it 3 nights a week after the Spring time change...even it's just a 15 minute lap. For us, taking a walk through the neihborhood is a great way to spend time together, away from the household to do lists, and gives us a time to chat and relax. Everybody wins and it's making a good habit.

    Good luck
  • Newf77
    Newf77 Posts: 802 Member
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    Theater and/or dance classes?

    I do not want to sound rude, you are mom and should control what foods are mostly available to her.
    Do not play the exercise/fitness angle. Find things she is interested in. As a former Thespian I would play the stage lover in her, stage fighting, fencing, stage movement.
  • lackie09
    lackie09 Posts: 123 Member
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    I know that when I was younger I did not have a good relationship with my mother... not saying you and your child dont have a good relationship.... We had nothing in common, my mother and I, and we barely talked until I asked her to do C25K with me and when we finish it up we are going to find a 5k to do together... you may wana try getting her to start something like that with you
  • soccerella
    soccerella Posts: 623 Member
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    I would just like to comment on the flat feet thing. I have terribly flat feet and high heel pressure because of it. It never stopped me from playing sports...I played D1 soccer and lacrosse in college even, did dance, basketball, softball, etc growing up, and now run half marathons. Yes it will make things more difficult and she may have to really find some shoes that will work for her so she doesnt get injured, but it doesnt have to mean that she rules those things out.

    Now if she simply doesnt like sports, thats one thing....i'm just saying that the flat feet issue shouldnt be the reason she doesnt participate

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