Not accepting new friends. Need to... vent? Im not angry.

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Replies

  • HeatherMarie1174
    HeatherMarie1174 Posts: 355
    :heart: One can never have too many Friends, and I would NEVER post a statement that I am Not Accepting New Friends.
    :ohwell: On the other hand, I do worry that with Hundreds of Friends I cannot encourage and support each of them the way they deserve, and expect.
    :laugh: And I feel GUILTY if I "Delete" a Friend, even if they have been Inactive for months and have not responded to Messages that I send.

    I totally agree with this ...
  • tallen3687
    tallen3687 Posts: 244 Member
    I am always looking for friends for support and encouragement. I like to think I return the support, but maybe not as much as I should. Good luck and add me if you want.
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 567 Member
    Who puts that on their profile? And how rude and egotistical is that? Go ahead and add me :)
  • MaggiePuccini
    MaggiePuccini Posts: 248 Member
    I sent you a friend request, you moany ol' martyr! (i mean that affectionately). I haven't noticed if anybody has rejected my advances yet. Perhaps they have. Maybe you'll be the first to reject me. ;-p
  • Elizadolots
    Elizadolots Posts: 178
    I really get the limitation that some people do, they simply want to be really supportive to their circle of friends. Sucks a bit that you can't subscribe to the feed, I don't really get that one. But best of luck to you, I find on here there is always some level of support! Even for a nutter like me! Keep going!
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    Agreed. There are always going to be cliques. Especially on the internet. Keep your head up. Anyone who doesnt want to take the time to meet and help new people isnt ready to help themselves! Good Luck! & Feel free to add me.


    PS. Watch what you say on here... the evil clique trolls will eat this post right up (:

    "Anyone who doesnt want to take the time to meet and help new people isnt ready to help themselves!"

    Excuse me? Some people get a lot of friend requests and so they feel they have to limit who they accept. Some people may prefer to have only a few friends on MFP, so they feel closer to them. Whatever the reason, not wanting to accept a strangers "friend" invite has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with a persons interest in their own health.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Consider it a courtesy to you - by saying they're not accepting any new friends, they're essentially saying, "I admit that I would not be able to act as a support or motivator for you." There was a study recently that said most people can't keep track of more than like 100 'friends' .. it was a low number, that I do remember.. the point is, why would you even want to add someone if you knew they wouldn't offer you enough support?

    There are something like two million members on MFP (maybe it's 200,000... I'm really terrible with numbers). Start posting in the forums frequently, sharing your ideas and views, and the friends will come to you. And they will be people that think and feel similarly to you, and will want to be active in your Steve Perry.
  • MaggiePuccini
    MaggiePuccini Posts: 248 Member
    Somebody put "i'm not accepting any more friends" on their profile?!?!!? oh wow. How gloriously pompous. You don't want to be friends with them!!! It reminds me of a girl at my school who used to draw up a timetable of who got to sit next to her. I was slotted in (just) for RE. (one class a week).
  • susankaye123
    susankaye123 Posts: 28
    This is so crazy, is it just me or what. Get a grip on reality...This is not a find a friend site, wow
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    The great majority of you on this thread are newish and therefore welcome the concept of scads of new friends. It's a lovely concept...it is. BUT if you are serious about keeping up with said friends and being a true support system for each and every one of them, you'll find that this will take up a lot of your time.

    Supporting say, 50-some friends vs. supporting upwards of 200 is like comparing apples to oranges. Or apples to cupcakes. Choose the analogy that you prefer.

    Some of us want to be able to fully support our current friends and feel we don't have room for more. Nuttin' wrong with that.
  • eddie8131
    eddie8131 Posts: 600 Member
    Perhaps those people who aren't accepting friends take the people in their friends list very seriously and want to support them with more than just "wtg" and more than not at all. And they are at their limit. Or just overwhelmed with life. It's their choice right? I would want you to have the same choice to be friends with me or not.

    But I agree it still sucks when someone rejects you or isn't open to new friends. There are lots of people looking for friends on here, I hope you find a group of friends on here who are as caring as mine are. Having said all that feel free to add me as a friend. :)
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    I have been here for over a year so I am at my goal weight but have added a lot of fitness goals. I have had some of my friends since day 1. In order to "Great job!" "you killed it!" and remember what they are all working for (low carb, gaining muscle, South Beach, vegan) AND not get fired from my job, I have to be really judicious with the number of people on my friends list.

    I'm sorry that you feel left out, but please don't take it personally or that any one is just too cool for school. The reason people enjoy so much success here is often due to the genuine friendships that develop. Genuine > half-assed.

    :flowerforyou:
  • hottottie11
    hottottie11 Posts: 907 Member
    Who puts that on their profile? And how rude and egotistical is that? Go ahead and add me :)

    I do
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I have that note on my profile, but I answer messages if people who aren't on my friends list have specific questions or need a particular piece of advice or encouragement.
    I can't speak for everyone, but at least that's what I do.
  • Kath444
    Kath444 Posts: 77 Member
    I totally agree with you there are always the cliques no matter what age you are or what you join
    Feel free for any of you to add me as a friend for the more the merrier
  • russellma
    russellma Posts: 284 Member
    Hmmm.... The problem with accepting all the friend requests is that it takes time to be a good friend. Someone with 100+ friends probably doesn't have time to pay attention to your daily activities, along with everyone else's.

    I have only about 40, and honestly, some days I don't even have time to be supportive for all of them. And, (this is kind of selfish), I'd rather not be friends with someone with more friends than they can keep up with, because chances are, there's not going to be much support coming from their way.

    So, are you looking for a good friend or just a model? If you want a friend, you actually might be better off to choose someone with not so many friends who will actually have time to be a friend. And, of course, don't forget to be a friend back! :smile:
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    I still accept everyone that invites me, IF they leave a message... I appreciate support on my posts, ect, but some of them just friend me so they can be all creeperish and read all my threads but not post.

    I'm OK with it. What can I say, stalkers love me. I'm an attention *kitten*, so it doesn't bother me.
  • loseweightjames
    loseweightjames Posts: 360 Member
    what? you're mad people won't add you as a friend?

    .....i don't understand... if they don't wanna add you who cares? there's like a billion people on here, move on to the next person
  • Doresoontobehealthy
    Doresoontobehealthy Posts: 189 Member
    I can always use more support and new friends. Anyone please feel free to add me.
  • PeaceLoveVeggies
    PeaceLoveVeggies Posts: 673 Member
    Whoever wants to add me, can. At one point, I was like that, but then I remembered all of the new members who join on a day to day basis, so feel free to add me if you'd like :heart:

    EDIT: For anyone who is interested, I have been at this since September 2011. I'm a Vegetarian, trying to incorporate a VEGAN diet into my lifestyle as of two days ago, and I have 20 lbs left til goal weight.

    My stats: 5'3 & CW is 150 lbs
  • Jessi40
    Jessi40 Posts: 75 Member
    I agree, I tried to join a group the other day and was told I couldn't, they had too many in there group and weren't accepting new people... even though the title of the group made it sound welcoming. When I read through the group one of their members suggested changing the title so it didn't sound inviting to newbies... but the person I guess was the moderator or something stated that they want to have the longest running group and changing the name makes it start all over... *rolls my eyes*

    Don't get me wrong, I'm finding a lot of support here... but that need to keep track of the longest running seemed odd to me. And a little like we are here for different reasons. I'm here to get healthy, get support, and be supportive to others and that keeping track of how many, etc... Plus I'm doing well and finding friends here; but I think if that had been my first experience with MFP, I would have just left.
  • Leamac83
    Leamac83 Posts: 99 Member
    Who puts that on their profile? And how rude and egotistical is that? Go ahead and add me :)

    Exactly what i was thinking....oh i cant have new friends as i just have to many as im miss effin popular. I guess they have their reasons which is understandable but it annoys me also!
  • bettyboop573
    bettyboop573 Posts: 610 Member
    I have been here for over a year so I am at my goal weight but have added a lot of fitness goals. I have had some of my friends since day 1. In order to "Great job!" "you killed it!" and remember what they are all working for (low carb, gaining muscle, South Beach, vegan) AND not get fired from my job, I have to be really judicious with the number of people on my friends list.

    I'm sorry that you feel left out, but please don't take it personally or that any one is just too cool for school. The reason people enjoy so much success here is often due to the genuine friendships that develop. Genuine > half-assed.

    :flowerforyou:


    Completely agree....I prefer to be able to actually know who my friends are here and be able to take the time to read their updates. I just couldnt do it with a large friend list.
  • MovesLikePuma
    MovesLikePuma Posts: 122
    Not sure if you are looking for a particular type of person but I always accept new friend requests. Add if you would like.
  • kernowprincess
    kernowprincess Posts: 135 Member
    That sucks, feel free to add me, I love having new friends, the more the merrier and the more the harder I push myself. xx
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    I was just saying this the other day.

    MFP snobs.

    It makes me laugh,
  • loseweightjames
    loseweightjames Posts: 360 Member
    I have that note on my profile, but I answer messages if people who aren't on my friends list have specific questions or need a particular piece of advice or encouragement.
    I can't speak for everyone, but at least that's what I do.


    CoryIda actually didn't accept my friend request a few days ago. So.....?

    (she posted on this thread on page 2 so i'm using her as an example)

    Maybe i don't understand, is this a vent about being upset because someone wouldn't accept their friend request? Am I understanding this correctly?
  • Carolyn_79
    Carolyn_79 Posts: 935 Member
    I honestly don't think people are trying to be 'cliquish', I think people just want to be able to focus on and have time for the friends they have on MFP. This site is not just a casual site like facebook where people blog about everything and anything. For the most part, the people here are really trying and some really struggle with weight loss. It's nice to be able to actually keep up with your list of friends and be encouraging. I trim my friend list quite a bit, because I just feel like i can't keep up. If I see people who are not active, I have to cut them. I want to be a supportive friend, but I have a life outside of MFP, so I can't have super long lists of friends to chat with or i'll be on here too much.

    I agree 100% with this. I like to get to know the people on my friends list and support each one. If there are 100+ people I don't feel like I can adequately support them or know much about them.
  • therapyruns
    therapyruns Posts: 164 Member
    what? you're mad people won't add you as a friend?

    .....i don't understand... if they don't wanna add you who cares? there's like a billion people on here, move on to the next person

    ditto. sorry, but this is a fact of life.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    I say, if they don't want us, screw 'em. :) I'd be more than happy to have you as an MFP buddy.
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