Not accepting new friends. Need to... vent? Im not angry.

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  • piezoeyjune
    piezoeyjune Posts: 186 Member
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    The great majority of you on this thread are newish and therefore welcome the concept of scads of new friends. It's a lovely concept...it is. BUT if you are serious about keeping up with said friends and being a true support system for each and every one of them, you'll find that this will take up a lot of your time.

    Supporting say, 50-some friends vs. supporting upwards of 200 is like comparing apples to oranges. Or apples to cupcakes. Choose the analogy that you prefer.

    Some of us want to be able to fully support our current friends and feel we don't have room for more. Nuttin' wrong with that.

    As I mentioned earlier, I totally understand this and accept it. Kind of like a snowstorm. Its gonna snow and i have to deal. I dont have to like it. Its my problem.

    so for everyone who is telling me to get a grip or stop collecting friends (which I dont do I only had 1 b/c left b/c the others moved on with their off MFP lives ) or whatever I was just disappointed that of the many blogs I found today none were open to me.

    I dont expect you to support everyone. I understand keeping it small...ish. Like you said.

    Nuttin' wrong with that.

    For those of you new...ish folks. I really appreciate t he friend requests. I will be there for you with words of support... maybe not wisdom though. (Have to go to Google for that! :happy: )
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    My point is obviously being proven here by some of the responses being left by other members.

    Saying “I have too many friends to care about you” makes you look like a douche.. why not just NOT accept the friend request?

    Give yourself a number of months and more friends than the 27 you have now and you might feel differently. Being as new as you are you have no idea what it's like to have a lot of people in your support circle. When I was new I would have NEVER dreamed of putting 'no more friends' on my profile. But I've done it before because I know what having a lot of friends entails...and it doesn't entail being a douche. :flowerforyou:
  • AlSalzman
    AlSalzman Posts: 296 Member
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    I'm not friends with everyone I meet in real life. I put up boundaries to appear unapproachable in real life (ex: no eye contact with slutty chicks at the bar). I tell people that their behavior/attitude/outlook/opinion is pissing me off and that I don't want to be around them in real life.

    Are we so disconnected from real life once we sit down in front of a computer message board that these same behaviors are somehow shocking or unacceptable?
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    Um, no offense, but this is just weird and kind of creepy. Does she know you posted her pic?

    ETA: I saw that you do have permission. Sorry, carry on, people! :flowerforyou:

    Psst, I agree, I thought it was a little weird too. I'm glad she was ok with it though b/c she's lovely
  • AntShanny
    AntShanny Posts: 366 Member
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    I didn't realize that people were so overwhelmed, not to mention so important, that they feel the need to declare they are not accepting friends.

    Really... seriously??? This is a fitness website.. get over yourself.

    And, OF COURSE, I will be your friend. :)


    I've seen that a couple of times and it cracks me up...very self-important!
  • iuangina
    iuangina Posts: 691 Member
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    Stupid in my opinion! You can add me if you want.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
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    I'm not friends with everyone I meet in real life. I put up boundaries to appear unapproachable in real life (ex: no eye contact with slutty chicks at the bar).

    Well duh... you can't make eye contact when you're staring at their boobs! :wink:
  • piezoeyjune
    piezoeyjune Posts: 186 Member
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    I have that note on my profile, but I answer messages if people who aren't on my friends list have specific questions or need a particular piece of advice or encouragement.
    I can't speak for everyone, but at least that's what I do.

    2193703_1809.jpg
    CoryIda actually didn't accept my friend request a few days ago. So.....?

    (her photo above, she posted on this thread on page 2 so i'm using her as an example)

    Maybe i don't understand, is this a vent about being upset because someone wouldn't accept their friend request? Am I understanding this correctly?

    Um, no offense, but this is just weird and kind of creepy. Does she know you posted her pic?

    ETA: I saw that you do have permission. Sorry, carry on, people! :flowerforyou:


    No, I never sent the request. Why would I? It said not accepting. I took that at their word.
  • thor1god1of1awesome
    thor1god1of1awesome Posts: 481 Member
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    I don't accept very many friend requests because when I was on here before, I ended up friending a psycho and I ended up having to delete the account. This time around I am ONLY friends with the people I know aren't going to attempt to make my MFP life a living hell by talking friends into sending hate mail, and people who I've seen around who's comments and posts I like. That's it, that's all. Period. It's MY choice to decide who I want to be friends with. People don't have to like it.
    How many times I gotta say sorry for that lmao
  • piezoeyjune
    piezoeyjune Posts: 186 Member
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    My point is obviously being proven here by some of the responses being left by other members.

    Saying “I have too many friends to care about you” makes you look like a douche.. why not just NOT accept the friend request?

    Give yourself a number of months and more friends than the 27 you have now and you might feel differently. Being as new as you are you have no idea what it's like to have a lot of people in your support circle. When I was new I would have NEVER dreamed of putting 'no more friends' on my profile. But I've done it before because I know what having a lot of friends entails...and it doesn't entail being a douche. :flowerforyou:

    I know. Im not really new. Ive been on the site for almost a year now.
  • Jackie9950
    Jackie9950 Posts: 374 Member
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    I would love to have more friends!! The more the merrier. Note: I am a food diary junkie. I love to look at people diaries for receipes and food ideas! :tongue: But I am a great friend and I wish I had more friends to support and to be supportive! Anyoe feel free to add me! I am on here everyday and I religously log!
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
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    I think people take the "friends" thing a bit seriously sometimes. J
    I like to post what I am doing and hope that others find it motivating, I know the motivator for me is being totally impressed with whatever it is everyone else is doing.
    Personal comments are a great bonus and I try to be positive as and when I have the time. I would never ignore a friend request unless I found the person upsetting or in appropriate in some way.
  • Jesyka_Gee
    Jesyka_Gee Posts: 27 Member
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    I didn't even know people did that! Well, if that's how it is than I wouldn't think they would be a good friend anyway. Keep your head up, I'm always accepting friends! :-)
  • rubyosburn
    rubyosburn Posts: 119 Member
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    Vent away, but stay low of trolls....seriously there are lots of great people here that will offer you support. Hey the main thins is we are all here trying to get healthy and fit. A little over 4 1/2 months ago, I was on a cane and seriously did not see myself ever getting any better. Then thanks to the powers that be (Rebecca my health coach) told me about MFP. Now I can't keep my mouth shut about it. Thanks to this site and the AMAZING friends that I have made I have an entirely new lease on life *wipes away tear*

    So, if you need another friend, feel free to add me. I log everything I eat and my diary is open for the world to see!
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
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    Um, no offense, but this is just weird and kind of creepy. Does she know you posted her pic?

    ETA: I saw that you do have permission. Sorry, carry on, people! :flowerforyou:

    Psst, I agree, I thought it was a little weird too. I'm glad she was ok with it though b/c she's lovely

    I agree, she's way sweet, I would have been a little freaked out by the posting of my pic! lol!
  • MsMo4DE
    MsMo4DE Posts: 62
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    my profile is set to private for safety reasons, not to be a stuck up. in another weight loss site, all my pictures ended up in all the search engines under my user name along with all pic comments/blog comments that I made on my friends pages that had pics. I only unprivated my page for a few days to give my family access to my page to see the pictures.

    My abusive ex husband found me on that website using his cousins picture and name. (I guess after 6 years post divorce he thought I'd forgotten who his family was.) He friended me and kept asking what city I lived in. I never responded, but ended up with certified mail with threats. I never gave him my address for safety reasons. I'm assuming he found a pic that was taken by cell phone. I didn't realize it had gps location turned on.

    that being said, make sure to read your privacy and terms of use on ANY website that you post on. I do accept friend requests if I feel that we have similar goals or feel safe, but I do check out each profile carefully before adding anyone because of that recent event with my ex.
  • piezoeyjune
    piezoeyjune Posts: 186 Member
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    Wow... okay folks.

    Ive got to go back to work now. (No computer access there...)

    thanks for everything.

    Signing off...

    :flowerforyou:
  • erxkeel
    erxkeel Posts: 553 Member
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    I see people like that all the time on here. And they can kiss my @ss. :devil:
  • i_am_losing_it
    i_am_losing_it Posts: 310 Member
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    I think the more the merrier. It is worse in person, my sister has a meetup group and her and her clique told everyone in the meetup that they were closing the group which I guess technically they did but they started up a new one with just there clique. They only wanted people who came to events several times a week. I was one of the half the people they did not invite which sucked major and really hurt my feelings. (all of them think no one knows they started a new group) I'm over now, I realize that it's just their High Schoolish controlling problem.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    :heart: One can never have too many Friends, and I would NEVER post a statement that I am Not Accepting New Friends.
    :ohwell: On the other hand, I do worry that with Hundreds of Friends I cannot encourage and support each of them the way they deserve, and expect.
    :laugh: And I feel GUILTY if I "Delete" a Friend, even if they have been Inactive for months and have not responded to Messages that I send.

    Actually... yeah, you can have too many. 1000 is the limit on here. :blushing: I now delete people who are inactive for more than 3 weeks or I run out of room.

    I accept friend requests, but I'm more active on the forums than the walls so I'm probably not a very good "friend." It's easier for me to keep track of forum threads than wall posts. I like helping people and being supportive and sharing what I've learned, but I'm mostly just here for me and doing my own thing. If someone can get some inspiration or motivation or just a chuckle or two from "following" me, that's fantastic. I just don't want the responsibility for being someone's personal cheerleader or hand-holder, and sometimes it seems people want that.

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