Not accepting new friends. Need to... vent? Im not angry.

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  • binkxo3
    binkxo3 Posts: 28
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    My point is obviously being proven here by some of the responses being left by other members.

    Saying “I have too many friends to care about you” makes you look like a douche.. why not just NOT accept the friend request?
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I can't speak for the person whose profile you looked at, but I can tell you why I think some people do this.

    When I started on MFP I went in search of people like me, who could maybe relate to the rough road I was looking at ahead. Then I started adding people who I thought would help motivate or support. And then I found some funny ones, who made me laugh and realize I didn't have to take everything so seriously.

    Now that I have been here a while I have established a very good rapport with most on my list. Even something I would call friendship with a few. And some I couldn't live without now. So I am more selective about who I let into my life only b/c I am more open and honest with my life and I want to know I can trust those who I have around me.

    I use MFP to get fit and healthy, mind, body and soul. It's not just about the weight anymore for me, so I don't let anyone and everyone in. It's not about cliques or being a snob, it's about keeping myself happy and healthy.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    Risk it, tell them you read their blog and were motivated. It won't hurt and it might work.
  • MattGetsMad
    MattGetsMad Posts: 429 Member
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    Excuse me? Some people get a lot of friend requests and so they feel they have to limit who they accept. Some people may prefer to have only a few friends on MFP, so they feel closer to them. Whatever the reason, not wanting to accept a strangers "friend" invite has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with a persons interest in their own health.

    I also get requests from people with no pic, no msg, and a private profile. I'm not sure why somebody would do that. I definitely only like to add people who are following similar nutrition plans as we can be better resources for one another.

    Not sure how many friends is too many, but I've found staying right around 40 makes it easier to keep track of everybody.

    I think if anyone is really, really concerned with their friend count, or how many people denied their friend request, they may not be here for the right reason. (The right reason IMO, is internal and personal)

    I guess I needed to vent too.
  • wigglelee
    wigglelee Posts: 491
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    add me, i will be your friend, and yuo will be a "insider " to me!!!!!!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    I have that note on my profile, but I answer messages if people who aren't on my friends list have specific questions or need a particular piece of advice or encouragement.
    I can't speak for everyone, but at least that's what I do.


    CoryIda actually didn't accept my friend request a few days ago. So.....?

    (she posted on this thread so i'm using her as an example)

    Maybe i don't understand, is this a vent about being upset because someone wouldn't accept their friend request? Am I understanding this correctly?


    It's true. I didn't accept his request and I also sent a message telling him why.

    I think it's a polite thing to do and, although I do have a note saying I don't add people, I make occasional exceptions. If you "really" want to add someone, you can still try. It certainly doesn't hurt to send a request telling them why it's important to you but, if they don't add you, just move on.
    There are lots of wonderful people on here to give you support.
  • MissFit0101
    MissFit0101 Posts: 2,382
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    That's not MFP that's just life. I'm sure if you sent a request to those people telling them that yes you read their page but give them your reasons for wanting to befriend them, they would probably gladly accept the request. There's too many people on this site that send requests just to add numbers to their friends list, and that's why so many people put that they aren't accepting friend requests.
  • GetOnIT2012
    GetOnIT2012 Posts: 12
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    LOL, cliques! Add me I am totally new and I love reading the blogs and friend support, No Worries here.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    I only ask two things of my mpf friends.....be here and be supportive....I drop friends that haven't logged in over a month, but otherwise feel free to add....I'm intrigued by everybody
  • onedayillbamilf
    onedayillbamilf Posts: 662 Member
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    I don't accept very many friend requests because when I was on here before, I ended up friending a psycho and I ended up having to delete the account. This time around I am ONLY friends with the people I know aren't going to attempt to make my MFP life a living hell by talking friends into sending hate mail, and people who I've seen around who's comments and posts I like. That's it, that's all. Period. It's MY choice to decide who I want to be friends with. People don't have to like it.
  • xosmsox
    xosmsox Posts: 119
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    In my terribly humble opinion, people with hundreds, even thousands of "friends" on social networking sites have very few, real life friends. People that you call and text on a daily or weekly basis. I love the resource that is this site but I have so many real life friends, an amazing boyfriend, clients I have to keep track of...haha I'm just not here to make "friends" to tell me good job. I never ever want to hurt anyone's feelings. I don't accept friend requests because my real life is too full to support a online life with time and support as well. So never ever take an unaccepted friend request as a rejection! You're wonderful, but all of us have different ways if utilizing this website, and for me it is a tool. And only that, it is NOT social networking.
  • Faintgreeneyes
    Faintgreeneyes Posts: 730 Member
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    Somebody put "i'm not accepting any more friends" on their profile?!?!!? oh wow. How gloriously pompous. You don't want to be friends with them!!! It reminds me of a girl at my school who used to draw up a timetable of who got to sit next to her. I was slotted in (just) for RE. (one class a week).


    I have more then a few friends who have this in their profile. and they are no where near being "gloriously pompous" as you have stated.

    To the OP- There are some people on here who only want a close group of friends. While it sucks, at least you know up front about it. However, there are people who have said in their profile that they are not accepting friends, I have sent them a friend request anyways just stating why I thought we would be good friends, and if they would consider adding me. Sometimes people put that message, so they are not getting 20+ friend requests a day.

    It really boils down to this- there is really no harm in sending a request- even if they have that message, you never know what could happen. If not, there are lots of other people on this site who are supportive and have open friends lists. I would try to not take it personally, or make it into some kind of MFP click. We all want and need different things, allow these people to chose how best to use this site for themselves, just like you.

    Take Care.
  • mgpage
    mgpage Posts: 123
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    I didn't even know you could do that, not that I want to. My most supportive friends are the ones I have met through MFP. I would love to have you as a friend, the more support the better. Matter of fact I will send you a request.
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
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    I have that note on my profile, but I answer messages if people who aren't on my friends list have specific questions or need a particular piece of advice or encouragement.
    I can't speak for everyone, but at least that's what I do.

    2193703_1809.jpg
    CoryIda actually didn't accept my friend request a few days ago. So.....?

    (her photo above, she posted on this thread on page 2 so i'm using her as an example)

    Maybe i don't understand, is this a vent about being upset because someone wouldn't accept their friend request? Am I understanding this correctly?

    Um, no offense, but this is just weird and kind of creepy. Does she know you posted her pic?

    ETA: I saw that you do have permission. Sorry, carry on, people! :flowerforyou:
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    Now that I have been here a while I have established a very good rapport with most on my list. Even something I would call friendship with a few. And some I couldn't live without now. So I am more selective about who I let into my life only b/c I am more open and honest with my life and I want to know I can trust those who I have around me.
    THAT...I try to keep my friend list at a manageable level. I try to get to know and interact with each one. I have to be selective about whom I accept. Usually, if you don't include a message, I will decline. And sometimes, I even have to delete some people.
  • melvin0609
    melvin0609 Posts: 1 Member
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    I only have 6 friends... you are welcome to join us!!
  • binkxo3
    binkxo3 Posts: 28
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    Im not saying that you have to add everyone.. Please don’t think that… as CoryIda just said, she sent a message back saying WHY she didn’t want to be his friend. He doesn’t seem too upset with it, (I could be wrong) so she obviously had a good enough reason for it, that he agreed with. THAT is acceptable.. and I am sure if this would have happened to the OP she would be fine with it, but just saying “No I don’t want to be your friend because I have too many already” is kinda snobby.
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
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    wow very true!!

    some very inspirational looking people on here are probably concerned that everyone is a creeper when in reality maybe they seek motivation and just seeing your posts or before and after photos help!
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Don't take it personally. Different strokes for different folks. :smile:
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    My point is obviously being proven here by some of the responses being left by other members.

    Saying “I have too many friends to care about you” makes you look like a douche.. why not just NOT accept the friend request?
    Because some feel THAT is acting like a douche (not accepting). The notice is an attempt at pre-emptive douchiness.

    To the OP: you should ask anyway. Or send a PM. You can still connect with people, even if you're not on their Friends List. Some may ignore you. Some might be rude. Some may see some common interests and you could start a positive online friendship. Just keep reaching out.

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