Not accepting new friends. Need to... vent? Im not angry.

Jackie9950

I would love to have more friends!! The more the merrier. Note: I am a food diary junkie. I love to look at people diaries for receipes and food ideas! But I am a great friend and I wish I had more friends to support and to be supportive! Anyoe feel free to add me! I am on here everyday and I religously log!

fionarama

I think people take the "friends" thing a bit seriously sometimes. J
I like to post what I am doing and hope that others find it motivating, I know the motivator for me is being totally impressed with whatever it is everyone else is doing.
Personal comments are a great bonus and I try to be positive as and when I have the time. I would never ignore a friend request unless I found the person upsetting or in appropriate in some way.

Jesyka_Gee

I didn't even know people did that! Well, if that's how it is than I wouldn't think they would be a good friend anyway. Keep your head up, I'm always accepting friends! :-)

rubyosburn

Vent away, but stay low of trolls....seriously there are lots of great people here that will offer you support. Hey the main thins is we are all here trying to get healthy and fit. A little over 4 1/2 months ago, I was on a cane and seriously did not see myself ever getting any better. Then thanks to the powers that be (Rebecca my health coach) told me about MFP. Now I can't keep my mouth shut about it. Thanks to this site and the AMAZING friends that I have made I have an entirely new lease on life *wipes away tear*

So, if you need another friend, feel free to add me. I log everything I eat and my diary is open for the world to see!

ishallnotwant

Um, no offense, but this is just weird and kind of creepy. Does she know you posted her pic?

ETA: I saw that you do have permission. Sorry, carry on, people! :flowerforyou:

Psst, I agree, I thought it was a little weird too. I'm glad she was ok with it though b/c she's lovely

I agree, she's way sweet, I would have been a little freaked out by the posting of my pic! lol!

MsMo4DE

my profile is set to private for safety reasons, not to be a stuck up. in another weight loss site, all my pictures ended up in all the search engines under my user name along with all pic comments/blog comments that I made on my friends pages that had pics. I only unprivated my page for a few days to give my family access to my page to see the pictures.

My abusive ex husband found me on that website using his cousins picture and name. (I guess after 6 years post divorce he thought I'd forgotten who his family was.) He friended me and kept asking what city I lived in. I never responded, but ended up with certified mail with threats. I never gave him my address for safety reasons. I'm assuming he found a pic that was taken by cell phone. I didn't realize it had gps location turned on.

that being said, make sure to read your privacy and terms of use on ANY website that you post on. I do accept friend requests if I feel that we have similar goals or feel safe, but I do check out each profile carefully before adding anyone because of that recent event with my ex.

piezoeyjune

Wow... okay folks.

Ive got to go back to work now. (No computer access there...)

thanks for everything.

Signing off...

:flowerforyou:

erxkeel

I see people like that all the time on here. And they can kiss my @ss. :devil:

i_am_losing_it

I think the more the merrier. It is worse in person, my sister has a meetup group and her and her clique told everyone in the meetup that they were closing the group which I guess technically they did but they started up a new one with just there clique. They only wanted people who came to events several times a week. I was one of the half the people they did not invite which sucked major and really hurt my feelings. (all of them think no one knows they started a new group) I'm over now, I realize that it's just their High Schoolish controlling problem.

LorinaLynn

One can never have too many Friends, and I would NEVER post a statement that I am Not Accepting New Friends.
:ohwell: On the other hand, I do worry that with Hundreds of Friends I cannot encourage and support each of them the way they deserve, and expect.
:laugh: And I feel GUILTY if I "Delete" a Friend, even if they have been Inactive for months and have not responded to Messages that I send.

Actually... yeah, you can have too many. 1000 is the limit on here. :blushing: I now delete people who are inactive for more than 3 weeks or I run out of room.

I accept friend requests, but I'm more active on the forums than the walls so I'm probably not a very good "friend." It's easier for me to keep track of forum threads than wall posts. I like helping people and being supportive and sharing what I've learned, but I'm mostly just here for me and doing my own thing. If someone can get some inspiration or motivation or just a chuckle or two from "following" me, that's fantastic. I just don't want the responsibility for being someone's personal cheerleader or hand-holder, and sometimes it seems people want that.

CoryIda

Um, no offense, but this is just weird and kind of creepy. Does she know you posted her pic?

ETA: I saw that you do have permission. Sorry, carry on, people! :flowerforyou:

Psst, I agree, I thought it was a little weird too. I'm glad she was ok with it though b/c she's lovely

I agree, she's way sweet, I would have been a little freaked out by the posting of my pic! lol!

It is really sweet of all of you to get defensive on my behalf, but if people seeing my pictures (even the gross and sweaty post-workout picture that was used as an example) really bothered me, I would just keep my profile private.
I'm not easily offended.

Avalonis

No, I never sent the request. Why would I? It said not accepting. I took that at their word.

I sent her a request anyhow and she accepted.

Never get anywhere if you dont try.

synthetiquecindy

I'm not friends with everyone I meet in real life. I put up boundaries to appear unapproachable in real life (ex: no eye contact with slutty chicks at the bar).

Well duh... you can't make eye contact when you're staring at their boobs!

Lol. :laugh:

onedayillbamilf

I don't accept very many friend requests because when I was on here before, I ended up friending a psycho and I ended up having to delete the account. This time around I am ONLY friends with the people I know aren't going to attempt to make my MFP life a living hell by talking friends into sending hate mail, and people who I've seen around who's comments and posts I like. That's it, that's all. Period. It's MY choice to decide who I want to be friends with. People don't have to like it.

How many times I gotta say sorry for that lmao

I've already told you, sorry means nothing. You must send gifts!

Ginger4real

I actually just sent a guy a request ...left a message ..then read his profile and noticed his not accepting friends thing..so I re messaged and said oops ..I just noticed that ..and maybe another time...if he wants to talk to me based on my first message he can contact me ...if not ..meh! We no doubt wouldn't have hit it off anyway ...what's the loss in that I can't see any reason to make friends with people we won't chat with ..it just fills up our feed and we miss those posts we really want to see. I also had a guy add me ...then a day later send a generic i'm deleting people so you may get deleted if we haven't talked much...lol ....in the end he had like 1000 friends and was trying to pair it down to those who support him as much as he gives support...I made the cut so far lol.

Who ever has that not accepting bit in their profile may have some deleting and tweeking to do ....then may open up the lines of communication again ...Hard to say ....I talk alot so once I make friends with people who post I tend to post back or respond ....I don't always reach out first and never go into a friend list to find someone to talk to...but I reply to almost everything...I am active with active people as I see them .. Just by being in these threads and giving opinions..making jokes..talking about random stuff..I find I don't have to go looking too much ...people will add you.

LuckyLeprechaun

I accept friend requests, but I'm more active on the forums than the walls so I'm probably not a very good "friend." It's easier for me to keep track of forum threads than wall posts. I like helping people and being supportive and sharing what I've learned, but I'm mostly just here for me and doing my own thing. If someone can get some inspiration or motivation or just a chuckle or two from "following" me, that's fantastic. I just don't want the responsibility for being someone's personal cheerleader or hand-holder, and sometimes it seems people want that.

spoken perfectly!

sarah44254

One can never have too many Friends, and I would NEVER post a statement that I am Not Accepting New Friends.
:ohwell: On the other hand, I do worry that with Hundreds of Friends I cannot encourage and support each of them the way they deserve, and expect.
:laugh: And I feel GUILTY if I "Delete" a Friend, even if they have been Inactive for months and have not responded to Messages that I send.

Actually... yeah, you can have too many. 1000 is the limit on here. :blushing: I now delete people who are inactive for more than 3 weeks or I run out of room.

I accept friend requests, but I'm more active on the forums than the walls so I'm probably not a very good "friend." It's easier for me to keep track of forum threads than wall posts. I like helping people and being supportive and sharing what I've learned, but I'm mostly just here for me and doing my own thing. If someone can get some inspiration or motivation or just a chuckle or two from "following" me, that's fantastic. I just don't want the responsibility for being someone's personal cheerleader or hand-holder, and sometimes it seems people want that.

last year, 200 was the limit. 1000 now? I am thankful for that because I can squeeze into that number and be lorina's friend.

StartingAnewDay

I SOOO understand what you mean. Between the clique's and the judgements. Whats a person to do, People need to realise everyone is in a different place in their journey, and while you may be in a better place than some, you are also in a worse place than others. I don't even really look for support anymore. I do love the few that I do have, when I fall off logging in, getting their emails of them shouting at me to "get back here" and "where are you" are helpful. they show that someone does care and is willing to be there for you through thick and thin. they are the ones that realize you are more than what you do and do don't eat, more than the exercising you can and can't do, and accept you for that, and only want you to suceed the best way you can. When you get those sorry, not accepting anymore friends, say to yourself.. "Thank you God" for where would we all be if he had hung that sign on his door? that tells us, that though what you may have been seeing inspirational for the moment, they are hollow words and just because it's what you were mean to see/hear for that moment, doesn't mean it was meant to be for a lifetime. Move on to the one's that will be there for you when you can't even be there for yourself!! ((hugs))

takingnameskickingbutt

Who puts that on their profile? And how rude and egotistical is that? Go ahead and add me

I totally agree. I just got deleted by someone who has been my friend since I joined. I have always supported her, but she has that on her profile. It was more hurtful that I would have thought. Keep your head up. I always accept new friends!

penelepurr

One can never have too many Friends, and I would NEVER post a statement that I am Not Accepting New Friends.
:ohwell: On the other hand, I do worry that with Hundreds of Friends I cannot encourage and support each of them the way they deserve, and expect.
:laugh: And I feel GUILTY if I "Delete" a Friend, even if they have been Inactive for months and have not responded to Messages that I send.

I totally agree with this ...

I also agree with this viewpoint. As I've gotten more involved with the website (I'm not much of a commenter but I've started to reply to posts and whatnot and really check up on my friends) I've found that I have gotten more of a relationship with my friends on my list and I don't feel that I could really support a large number. I want to be helpful here. Like other posters said, this isn't facebook. Though there, I don't have enormous amounts of friends anyway and I know everyone, so it could be more my mindset. Quality over quantity

stormieweather

Feel free to add me .

I don't bother with people who say they aren't accepting new friends. There are tons of people out there who DO want them. Check the introduction forums and invite them to be your friend! They're new, scared, unsure, and need encouragement. Show them how to be a good friend and enrich your own experience at the samed time!

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

jenniebean1680

I hear that. Sometimes it feels like high school all over again.

Whatever, there are good peeps on here, too! Just takes some extra work to find them, which I'm sure you've done.

Just sucks when you seem to find a good 'match' in terms of goals (either met or aspiring to) and you're blocked.

BobbyDaniel

I guess I can understand a person wanting to keep your circle small; for me though I like to encourage others and be encouraged at the same time. That is why all I ask is a little introduction when I get a friend request. More often than not I will approve it.
Now, if I see a lot of inactivity, I will try to make a contact and if there is still nothing then I will delete them...but that doesn't come easy to me and I do show a lot of grace.

Behavioral

Friend me. I love having new friends. One can never have too many friends.

thor1god1of1awesome

I don't accept very many friend requests because when I was on here before, I ended up friending a psycho and I ended up having to delete the account. This time around I am ONLY friends with the people I know aren't going to attempt to make my MFP life a living hell by talking friends into sending hate mail, and people who I've seen around who's comments and posts I like. That's it, that's all. Period. It's MY choice to decide who I want to be friends with. People don't have to like it.

How many times I gotta say sorry for that lmao

I've already told you, sorry means nothing. You must send gifts!

last time I sent you gift you mailed it back saying "No more creepy blow up dolls" I was trying to respect your wishes but if I can send gifts again mauahahahahaha:devil:

ishallnotwant

Um, no offense, but this is just weird and kind of creepy. Does she know you posted her pic?

ETA: I saw that you do have permission. Sorry, carry on, people! :flowerforyou:

Psst, I agree, I thought it was a little weird too. I'm glad she was ok with it though b/c she's lovely

I agree, she's way sweet, I would have been a little freaked out by the posting of my pic! lol!

It is really sweet of all of you to get defensive on my behalf, but if people seeing my pictures (even the gross and sweaty post-workout picture that was used as an example) really bothered me, I would just keep my profile private.
I'm not easily offended.

Thanks, I kind of felt weird talking about you like you weren't "here" but didn't know ho else to word it! :laugh:

macpatti

I accept friend requests, but I'm more active on the forums than the walls so I'm probably not a very good "friend." It's easier for me to keep track of forum threads than wall posts. I like helping people and being supportive and sharing what I've learned, but I'm mostly just here for me and doing my own thing. If someone can get some inspiration or motivation or just a chuckle or two from "following" me, that's fantastic. I just don't want the responsibility for being someone's personal cheerleader or hand-holder, and sometimes it seems people want that.

spoken perfectly!

Yeah, Lucky sucks as my personal cheerleader! Why isn't there a smiley with pom-poms when you need one?

AlSalzman

I'm not friends with everyone I meet in real life. I put up boundaries to appear unapproachable in real life (ex: no eye contact with slutty chicks at the bar).

Well duh... you can't make eye contact when you're staring at their boobs!

More of an *kitten* man.

But yeah, I'm guilty of having my share of conversations with breasts.

Christina1007

Why the need to be accepted by these people? Or by everyone? Low self-esteem maybe? I just leave them alone, who wants to befriend anti-socials anyways?

DixiedoesMFP

Some of my best friends on MFP actually state that on their profile. When I sent them a message saying why I wanted to be their friend anyway (similar goals, etc) they accepted me. Most of them are really attractive young ladies, which might be part of why they don't accept randon friend requests.

I accept all friend requests, although I must admit, at times it would be nice to know WHY the person is sending me one, because I have no idea where they found me.