True Love ...Does it exist??

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  • amymrls
    amymrls Posts: 1,673 Member
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    It exsists
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I truly believe that at some of our age's there is going to be a big change for one or the other. Most people have homes, Children and other comfort zone reswponibilites and possesions and just cannot make the changes needed to adapt to a possible True Love. Just Say'n...

    You make it sound like the only place to look for true love is under an overpass with a drug addict. Bad idea. I'm pretty sure there are some people out there capable of looking for love in ways that won't take everything they've worked for away from them.

    Me, I looked everywhere and lost everything and never found it. I don't even think I want it anymore, but if I ever do decide to look again, I can assure you I won't be looking through a selection of bums. I dated enough of those in my misspent youth, and I can smell them coming from a mile away even if they have bathed recently.

    All in all though I'd say the whole thing isn't worth the trouble.

    How did you derive that from what I said. My experiences have come down to these factors and some aren't able to make the commitment to change for the best of both people involved. that's all. Nothing about bums under a bridge! geesh!

    :laugh: I guess I have an overly simplistic view of the situation. Either you have those things and continue to have them when you start seeing someone, or you have them and then he pawns them, cleans out your bank account, and drops your kids off on a side road in Omaha!

    (Kidding! but I really don't understand how two people in similar situations can't get along and make more out of what they have and not less, except of course if their families are psycho or if one is a neat freak and the other is a slob.)
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    I don't even know what "true love" is. I'm not sure what people are expecting. My husband and I are happy now. Are things perfect? No, but they're good. If they stop being good, then we work things out, or we move on. People talk about things like "true love" or finding "the one" and I am honestly completely baffled. I found someone I am reasonably compatible with, who I care about and respect (and vice versa). Is he the only person on the planet who would have fit this criteria? I doubt it, he just happens to be "the one" I found. Maybe I'm just too practical and not romantic enough.
  • SlimSammy2012
    SlimSammy2012 Posts: 893
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    I think it comes down to Greed and selfishness. And by the time each realizes that they won't give up or share, the TRUE LOVE of their life is gone that fast!
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
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    I am cynical....but a romantic at heart and would love to think it does exist. But I don't know if it does for me which makes me sad. I feel envious of my married friends and happy for my parents (they just celebrated 45 years).....but I wonder if he's out there for me! I'd hate to be destined to be alone forever....that makes me very sad!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I think it comes down to Greed and selfishness. And by the time each realizes that they won't give up or share, the TRUE LOVE of their life is gone that fast!

    Ah well, unfortunately I never had that problem, but I'm working on it! A little greed and selfishness are damn good survival traits.
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
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    it only exists in a suitable environment.

    like in my pants or where mutual respect exist.
  • antoniosmooth
    antoniosmooth Posts: 299 Member
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    Sure it exists.....

    After 23 years I can still say I'm married to my True Love and the only woman I've dated which I could say I'd give my life for her without regret. We've been through some rocky points in our marriage that would have broken up most couples but just like exercise it has made us stronger and appreciative of what we have.
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    yes, there is. God is love and He loves us unconditionally. that doesn't mean that there are not expectations, it means that no matter what we do He loves us. Since we are created in HIS image we are capable of unconditional love if we want to. Love is a choice not an emotion.
  • hope2webb
    hope2webb Posts: 421
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    Yes, but I think it is hard work. It isn't like a fairytale...it isn't magical. Love and relationships are hard work. There will be hard times, you will hurt one another, but you must work together to get through it. Be supportive, trusting, and have communication with one another.

    I personally feel that if you find someone that is your bestfriend and will be there for you through thick and thin, then that is true love. It goes past the physical attraction and the $exual part of the relationship...it is so much more.


    ^^^this^^
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    I believe it does, and when it does take it for all it's worth cause it's not gonna last.....
  • Jain
    Jain Posts: 861 Member
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    Yes it does. Been married to my soul mate 22 years & we're still stupidly happy. But I kissed a fair few frogs till I found my prince.:wink:
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    I have slim hope... lol

    I'm cautiously optimistic, but your slim hope sounds better.
  • micls
    micls Posts: 234
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    Depends on your definition of it. I don't believe in soulmates, or that there's one person for everyone, but I do believe in real, deep love. If I didn't, I wouldn't be getting married this summer!

    I love my OH with all my heart, I don't want to even think about life without him. We've been together 9 years and he's pretty much part of me. Now, this doesn't mean nothing can go wrong (we broke up before for a few weeks, we've been through tough times), and it doesn't mean I can say for sure this will last forever. But how I feel now, that's real, true love to me and I'm going to enjoy it as long as I can.
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
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    I've never been divorced but I understand what you're asking and yes I do believe in true love. I broke up with my ex in august but I still feel exactly the same about him now as I did the day I met him. I love him but he doesn't love me. I never needed to have sex with him to love him, he meant so much more to me than that.
    He took me for granted and walked all over me, but I was still there. He triggered my relapse in my eating disorder and just made me feel completely worthless, I have no confidence so why I stayed I don't know really. I stuck with him when his health problems got worse and told him I would always be there, I meant it, but when I had a miscarriage and he wasn't there for me, I couldn't deal with any of it anymore.
    I regret walking away but he didn't exactly put up much of a fight for me, tells me everything really. It hurts so much, and everyone's telling me I should be over it by now but I'm not. I believe he is my soulmate, it's just hard when he doesn't act like he cares.
    I'm a christian and I believe god has someone for everyone, I understand not everyone will agree with me but it's what I believe. It hurts I know, but have faith. We never know what the future may hold.
  • Peta22
    Peta22 Posts: 377 Member
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    I'm really sorry to hear about your divorce and all the trouble you've had. I have been divorced but in my case it was a good thing and thankfully, there were no kids to think about. Since then, I have met my soul mate. He also had a messy divorce to deal with before we could be together but we both agree its all worth it. When you find the right person, the relationship isnt hard - its easy, supportive and happy.

    In the past all my relationship challenges have come from within the relationship but not anymore... Our only challenges now are from the world outside and we face them together - stronger to be two rather than one. My best friend (girlfriend) has also experienced this. She was married for 11 years with two little boys but she had to leave when she realised that her husbands treatment of her was a bad influence on the kids. It was the most terrifying thing she ever had to do to go it alone but since then she has also met her soulmate and she swears that leaving the Ex was the best thing she could have ever done.

    Both my best friend, my husband and I all had rough roads to get to where we are but we all agree that every moment of pain was worth it... Its a waste of your life to stay in a unhappy relationship and it will only impact badly on you, your partner and your children in the long run. Don't those around you deserve to have a happy, fulfilled you rather than a miserable, resentful, trapped person?
  • Peta22
    Peta22 Posts: 377 Member
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    You have to love yourself first.

    Oh... And this ^^^ is very true! I often think that life is a journey and everything that happens is a challenge you have to overcome before you can move up to the next 'level' of happiness... You must learn about who you are and what you want and learn to love yourself along this journey too... Self acceptance and self belief are an ongoing lesson but the more you learn, the further you go... Having a supportive, equal and loving relationship is something you have to grow to be able to accept - if your not a whole person when you go into it, then it will be much harder to deal with once your there. I know that sounds weird but I see so many relationships wherein one, or both, people are actually sabotaging this situation through their own insecurities... Dont underestimate how important you and your personal health (physical, mental and emotional) are to a successful partnership! :smile:
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
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    A big YES! I have been married to my husband for 11 years now and we still act like we are in the "honeymoon period" a lot of the time. Our friends just don't understand it actually, but then again...some of their marriages are not going great...:(

    Saying that, a lot of people mistake what love actually is. Its not about rescuing each other like a damsel in distress, it is not a fairy tale where life suddenly get better and nothing ever goes wrong again, its not about the other person knowing everything you like or reading your mind.
    Its about sticking together as one united front. Its about being happy, rather then being right all the time. Its about knowing the other person enough to balance each other out when they need it. Its about taking the time to look at them and still see the good things that made you love them in the first place. Its about doing something nice for them EVERYDAY.I also believe people get complacent with each other and just stop trying. They stop having consideration for each other and its all "me me me". You cant do that. That's where resentment builds.

    We have been through some tough times but losing any love for each other was never part of it. I truly believe when your down and out, that's when you will see what peoples true personalities and loyalty. Thank goodness life is going great for many years now, but I would have never made it without him and I am eternally grateful. I remember that almost every day.

    It takes work but it pays off in the end. :)
  • jandk09
    jandk09 Posts: 99 Member
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    yes, im on my second marriage and its finally the real thing :))
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    When most people say "true love" they tend to mean "romantic love" ~ agape exclusively as if it is the only type. I guess it is understandable as it is the notion of love which has made its way into the public consciousness in 20th century and has taken root.

    However I think a relationship cannot survive over the long term if it is based on romantic love only without incorporating and balancing other types: friendship ~ philipia and sexual ~ eros.

    Over time the combination of those three types of love change but a solid relationship will incorporate all three.

    So does true love exist?

    Yes, but not the Hollywood, romanticised version of it...

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