My first MFP rant..

4rgl
4rgl Posts: 106
in Food and Nutrition
So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
1. Did I ask for your opinion?
2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?
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Replies

  • CeeRawr89
    CeeRawr89 Posts: 328 Member
    mmm cheesecake... I'd eat cheese cake for breakfast...
  • mrs_deg1983
    mrs_deg1983 Posts: 157
    So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

    I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

    What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
    First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
    Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
    Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

    Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
    This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
    One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
    1. Did I ask for your opinion?
    2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
    3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

    This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

    I though we were here to help people get healthy not skinny. So I agree. But ignore the bomb butts and enjoy the new stuff you learn.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

    Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

    Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome :wink:

    PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

    Thanks.
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
    WOW! You've managed to get some gems! I've never had anything like that and I'm sorry you've experienced this.
  • Nataliaho
    Nataliaho Posts: 878 Member
    So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

    I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

    What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
    First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
    Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
    Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

    Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
    This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
    One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
    1. Did I ask for your opinion?
    2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
    3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

    This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

    This is why I don't share my food diary. I have no interest in hearing the unsolicited opinions of random people about my nutrition. If I am unsure about something I will consult an expert and do my own research. If I have a specific question to ask, I'd post it very warily...
  • tg0926
    tg0926 Posts: 9 Member
    This is exactly why my diary is private. I don't need people judging me when I didn't ask for it. What you want to eat is your prerogative and you will pay the price or reap the benefits of what you eat. It doesn't affect someone else. People who message you things like this are jealous and unhappy with their own lives and are looking for someone to take it out on. Don't take it personally! For the most part, I see very positive support on this site, it's just sad that a few people have to ruin it like that. Don't get discouraged :)
  • shortstuff31117
    shortstuff31117 Posts: 81 Member
    Some people are just weird. I rarely ever look at my friends diaries.
    Feel free to friend me, I'll never say stupid things like that :smile:
  • tansygreen
    tansygreen Posts: 85 Member
    Well this might not be helpful to you in your issue with rude 'frends' but... I would LOVE it if you could share the cheesecake recipe with me, sounds amazing!!

    I guess they are just having a bad day. I don't have many MFP friends, because if I did I wouldn't be able to keep up with it all, but I have to say I have never experienced any weird comments like that from people. Maybe just have a clear out and keep the supportive ones. Good luck!

    PS - don't forget - I'm serious about that recipe!
  • mamamudbug
    mamamudbug Posts: 572 Member
    I'm with Rayman, you should share the cheesecake recipe:love:

    As far as the other stuff, be picky about what you open on the forum and who you add as friends. There is some good stuff on here but like anything else sometimes you have to dig to find the gems.
  • tialeanne
    tialeanne Posts: 186 Member
    *kitten*, you never know where they'll turn up.

    Time to unfriend some peeps.
  • imthelobster
    imthelobster Posts: 179 Member
    I agree with everyone who's said to share the cheesecake recipe, it sounds wonderful!

    I'd say definitely just be more picky about who you're adding! My friends are all really supportive.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Delete them and don't worry about it too much! It's all about eating things in moderation, but many are quick to judge after seeing one day. If you're just looking for encouragement and advice only when you ask for it, add me :) You could always start a thread on the introduce yourself section asking for friends who aren't going to criticize your choices (you'll probably get a lot of flack for that on the thread tho haha)
  • ILoveJesus72
    ILoveJesus72 Posts: 181 Member
    You had me @ cheesecake and breakfast. :heart:
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Dang that cheesecake sounds way better than the red vines I had for breakfast! I feel lucky I haven't had any comments like that yet - seriously W*T*H is wrong with people?
  • Kristy_Elizabeth
    Kristy_Elizabeth Posts: 435
    I would have deleted them too! and I want your recipe too.....=D
  • Funsoaps
    Funsoaps Posts: 514 Member
    MMM your cheesecake sounds just like the kind I buy from Earth foods, soaked cashews, agave nectar blueberries, etc OMg it's so good and healthy.
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
    Wow. I've never had anyone give me unsolicited advice, much less in a demeaning way. I would have deleted those friends in a jiffy too. I will admit to having given someone advice once, but it was out of genuine concern that she was not eating enough, and I would not have blamed her for deleting me if I had offended her. (And she didn't delete me because I was polite about it.)

    Anyway, welcome to MFP. I hope you can find friends who share your same goals, and the forums are only getting worse. (I promise they weren't this way a year and a half ago. :frown: )
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 8,514 Member
    My friend list is short, mostly because I'm too lazy to comment on a large number of people daily. There is a fine line between support and nosiness -- I have probably crossed the line a few times. But the junk you describe is way over the line!

    I recommend this site to everyone who I think could use it: the tiny lady at work who just discovered she has hypertension, the beautiful college kid who wants to stop living off junk food, the young mother with digestive issues, even my slim husband who is trying to track when his arthritis kicks up. That is pretty much everyone! So, you are certainly welcome here even though we are jealous that you weigh 125. :wink:

    BTW -- you need to post that cheesecake recipe! :bigsmile:
  • 4rgl
    4rgl Posts: 106
    First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

    Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

    Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome :wink:

    PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

    Thanks.

    I don't even have a lot of friends on here yet. I guess I just got all the bad ones :noway:

    Here is the recipe:
    Crust:
    1/2 cup pecans
    1/4 cup almonds
    1/4 cup shredded coconut unsweetened
    1 tablespoon cacao or carob powder
    1 tsp vanilla extract
    2 dates
    1 tablespoon agave

    Put everything except for agave in a food processor and blend until everything is mixed well.
    Add agave, blend until it turns into a sticky paste.
    Press the paste onto the bottom of a springform pan.

    Filling:
    2 cups blueberries. If frozen make sure it's at room tem.
    1 cup cashews, ground
    7 tablespoon melted coconut oil
    1/4 cup agave
    1 tablespoon lemon juice

    Blend everything. Pour onto the crust. Chill or freeze until the filling is hard.

    Just added you, replacing the bad eggs with the awesome ones :flowerforyou:
  • Maurice1966
    Maurice1966 Posts: 419 Member
    Loooove Cheesecake :)

    Plent of supportive people on here who won't judge because you're doing this a little differently. They don;t know the whole story so please don;t let those experiences hinder you from achieving your goals however you want.
  • SuMcP
    SuMcP Posts: 244 Member
    This is one of the reasons that I don't publish my diary - it is for me to make the decisions about what I consume, and if I can't square it with myself, someone else telling me what I should or shouldn't do (especially when I haven't asked) won't make any difference at all!

    That said - I also choose my friends carefully, I picked up a lot of people initially who just didn't support me, even though I made every effort to support them - so they had to go! Now I have fewer friends, who's progress really interests me and who support my goals and successes in a really positive ways.

    You sound like a lady who knows what she wants - just pick the friends who genuinely want to help you!
  • Pinky67
    Pinky67 Posts: 108 Member
    In my opinion your breakfast contained a super amount of SUPERFOODS, and was not a big spend on calories either. Well done I say, good on you!!! Weed out the haters and you will build up a good group of supportive friends :flowerforyou:
  • SpydrMnky27
    SpydrMnky27 Posts: 381 Member
    I hope you find more supportive people to help you on your journey. I rarely look at diaries unless a friend has asked a question about their food intake. I don't care what people eat. That's ridiculous. I loooove cheesecake. =)
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,446 Member
    First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

    Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

    Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome :wink:

    PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

    Thanks.

    I don't even have a lot of friends on here yet. I guess I just got all the bad ones :noway:

    Here is the recipe:
    Crust:
    1/2 cup pecans
    1/4 cup almonds
    1/4 cup shredded coconut unsweetened
    1 tablespoon cacao or carob powder
    1 tsp vanilla extract
    2 dates
    1 tablespoon agave

    Put everything except for agave in a food processor and blend until everything is mixed well.
    Add agave, blend until it turns into a sticky paste.
    Press the paste onto the bottom of a springform pan.

    Filling:
    2 cups blueberries. If frozen make sure it's at room tem.
    1 cup cashews, ground
    7 tablespoon melted coconut oil
    1/4 cup agave
    1 tablespoon lemon juice

    Blend everything. Pour onto the crust. Chill or freeze until the filling is hard.

    Just added you, replacing the bad eggs with the awesome ones :flowerforyou:

    That sounds pretty tasty. :D
  • mathgirl
    mathgirl Posts: 61 Member
    Really? They've got some nerve. I guess I have been lucky. Clean up your list :)
  • _hi_hat3r_
    _hi_hat3r_ Posts: 423 Member
    cheese cake is soooo dirty!!! You all are gonna gain 20lbs and screw up your metabolism eating that! Stay off the scales for awhile!
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I have one friend who is exactly like that, trying to be a "nutritionist" just because he knows some of the ethnic foods that I eat but he absolutely has no idea what kinds of food am I eating, just basing upon from either his friends or some foods that he have eaten. I then explained that I don't normally eat it regularly & that what he's doing is irritating unless someone is asking for his advice on food but otherwise, he shouldn't judge anyone's diary because in the first place we never know the history behind it. Good thing some of my foods are in Spanish & so most of my friends don't understand what I'm putting on my mouth. When I make my own receipe, I also put it in Spanish so in that way many won't know what it is hehehe...

    By the way I just had a subway sandwich earlier & yesterday I ate a kit kat & a hershey's milk chocolate candy, haha.
  • Misha41810
    Misha41810 Posts: 22
    you here for attention? J
    Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
    This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.

    OMG, have I actually stumbled across another raw foodie here!! Your raw cheesecake sounds incredible and thanks for posting the recipe :) I used to be a raw food vegan many moons ago and while I no longer am still pull out some of my fave non cook books and try a few recipes a month :love:
  • 4rgl
    4rgl Posts: 106
    I thought I was making a completely pointless post until I realized how many people asked for my recipe. :happy:
    I was typing it up for Rayman and by the time I typed it up I got 5 other requests for the recipe.
  • CeeRawr89
    CeeRawr89 Posts: 328 Member
    I thought I was making a completely pointless post until I realized how many people asked for my recipe. :happy:
    I was typing it up for Rayman and by the time I typed it up I got 5 other requests for the recipe.
    I'm definitely going to try it... :) How's the coconut flavor... I'm not a huge fan...

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