My first MFP rant..

4rgl

So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
1. Did I ask for your opinion?
2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

Maybe this would be more effective directed at the "friends" who are behaving badly? My diary has always been closed, even to friends, because I don't accept unsolicited advice so there is no need to make it open. None of my friends has ever given me any advice I didn't ask specifically for, but I've been unusually careful who I've friended.

I guess I have as much issue, more actually, with generalized "rants" that complain about the behavior of a small group of people, instead of dealing with those people directly. You aren't asking for advice or support so I won't offer any. I'll just comment that I don't see the point of your "rant."

I understand your point and you're right. But in all fairness the title mentioned it was a rant and my first sentence did in fact say this post was pointless, nothing but a rant. So you had the option of not clicking on it let alone reading and responding to it.

4rgl

So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
1. Did I ask for your opinion?
2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

Just blogged about this yesterday! Adding you!

Blogged about my rant or the recipe? I didnt expect to get so many positive comments let alone be blogged about.
Thats great

Crochetluvr

If anyone gave me smart butt remarks about what is in my diary, they would be unfriended really fast. Its YOUR body, not theirs.

Some people are supportive. Some get their jollies out of making people feel bad.

christenwypy

I eat bad stuff and put it in my diary all the time. Not saying your cheesecake was bad, sounds great! But I am just saying that I would be really pissed if someone said something to me about it. I make my diary public because it helps keep me accountable and I am less likely to really mess up knowing others can see it (because believe it or not I could be way worse lol). Obviously it is there to be honest in so you can see the damage and what you can still eat. If we were perfect we would not need this site!

As far as saying you are only 125, that is ridiculous too. I know 120 is my goal weight and I plan to stay right here on this site when I get there so i don't wind up where I am ever again. I am kind of shocked by the nerve of the people you described here!

4rgl

I've been on MFP for the better part of 10 months now. And this is the first - THE VERY FIRST - "rant" post that I ever saw NOT erupt into bloodshed. I didn't think it was possible, but you did it. Are you magic? On the one hand, it totally ruined my morning fishing for drama. On the other hand, it came with cheesecake. You ARE magic!

Lol..I was expecting this to turn pretty ugly myself.

4rgl

I am so gonna make this cheesecake! Sounds delicious. Can someone tell me what 'dates' are, in this recipe I mean?

Edit: found it! Thanks (English is not my first language...)

.

I am also curious about the dates. I know what they are, - dried fruit (sorry, that's the best explaination I can give), but my question is the AMOUNT of dates in the recipe. It says 2 dates. Does that literally mean 2 of the small dates that you buy in a box or does that mean 2 fresh dates...?

Yes 2 dates the dry ones

4rgl

Meal 3 on May 27th ....NICE!

Haha it was..

tpittsley77

Omg that recipe sounds amazing! And way healthier than my 6 brick cream cheese recipe...lol!!

imsleepdeprived

bump

EpiGaiaRepens

cheesecake.... yum....

and hey:

EpiGaiaRepens

also, there are lots of raw foodies on here, I hope you meet them and get support!!

svetz

Thank you for sharing the recipe! And, hopefully all the supportive, helpful people find you!

Twilightsunflower

sorry they sucked out some of your happy...

stupid emotional vampires!!!

stunningnickel

There's know it alls and jerks all over the internet (and real world).. not just on MFP.. and some people mean well but are still annoying.. I try to let it go because they are my friend .. but if worse comes to worse just delete them

BosLady1

This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.


One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"

Well, people are full of assumptions... hopefully you find a better journey here or a friends list with people to support you. It seems to me your "cheese cake" is just what you call it, If people saw my diary, SOME of the recipes I have sound horrid... but are actually healthy... for example... my mom makes FANTASTIC fried chicken.. which isn't a traditional fried chicken.. it is raw frozen chicken breasts pan fried using just its own liquid that comes off it being frozen.. then sprinkled with a spice as it is cooking. Then when it is cooked through, she "fries" it to a golden brown.. Nothing unhealthy there... but if someone saw that they would be like.. oh so you WANT to eat FRIED CHICKEN.. blah blah.. etc..

Eff those people & their assumptions.. This is probably why I don't have any friends.. I don't want or need the negativity..

Good luck


Edit to say::: the "fries" part is just pan browning (in case I wasn't clear on that part lol)

MamaDee2

Bump recipe

4rgl

Thanks everyone for being supportive and not turning this topic into something ugly. I noticed most rants on mfp unfortunately end up ugly.
Ive added everyone who requested me. Hopefully i was able to replace the rude friends with some great ones!

Kminor67

First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome

PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

Thanks.
[quote/]

Awww Man! I'm bummed. I was excited about the recipe, but I'm allergic to coconut :grumble: :ohwell:

sanjoparolas

I made the cheesecake when my omnivore son was making a traditional cheesecake for a school project. Your recipe is awesome and I am grateful that you shared it. I just had the last piece today (a week later) and I can vouch that it keeps well and is very satisfying. Best wishes on your fitness journey.