My first MFP rant..

1356789

Replies

  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
    First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

    Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

    Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome :wink:

    PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

    Thanks.


    This! Can you also give me a substitute for the coconut? I am allergic to it.
  • 4rgl
    4rgl Posts: 106

    I don't even have a lot of friends on here yet. I guess I just got all the bad ones :noway:

    Here is the recipe:
    Crust:
    1/2 cup pecans
    1/4 cup almonds
    1/4 cup shredded coconut unsweetened
    1 tablespoon cacao or carob powder
    1 tsp vanilla extract
    2 dates
    1 tablespoon agave

    Put everything except for agave in a food processor and blend until everything is mixed well.
    Add agave, blend until it turns into a sticky paste.
    Press the paste onto the bottom of a springform pan.

    Filling:
    2 cups blueberries. If frozen make sure it's at room tem.
    1 cup cashews, ground
    7 tablespoon melted coconut oil
    1/4 cup agave
    1 tablespoon lemon juice

    Blend everything. Pour onto the crust. Chill or freeze until the filling is hard.

    Thanks. You say that is 350kcals per serving, how many does the above make. Please say 1!

    It's 8 servings. I know you want to eat the whole thing :) But even if you had 2 slices it's 700 calories. Not too bad for a lot of dessert. And it's all from things that are good for you, coconut oil, nuts, fruit..
    Stash the rest in the back of the freezer and forget it for a while. It'll be a nice little surprise when you remember it's there :)
  • kcragg
    kcragg Posts: 239 Member
    Thanks for sharing the cheesecake recipe.

    Sorry to hear you have had some bad experiences, don't let it put you off, there are some lovely, supportive people on here. Maybe they are just plain jealous!

    Good luck:)
  • 4rgl
    4rgl Posts: 106
    So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

    I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

    What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
    First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
    Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
    Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

    Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
    This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
    One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
    1. Did I ask for your opinion?
    2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
    3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

    This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?


    UHHH...Yes YOU DID ask for opinions when you "Let Friends In" and Open Your Diary to them or anyone (It is Implied via Internet/Site Protocol.) Hey, DUMP the "Friends" ALL of them, Close your Diary, and Either Close or leave open your profile. Getting healthy and/ or losing weight is VERY PERSONAL. If you want to share on the Forums, then do so by Posting, now and then. Let your focus be You. If you want more, then EXPECT the FULL ARRAY of Wack Jobs on the Internet! Each One has their OWN IDEA of HEALTHY!

    Yes, I know when I let friends in everything is open to opinions and criticism.
    When I said I didn't ask for opinions I meant that I didn't specifically ask for opinions on that specific meal, even though I know people can view it and form opinions on it. I guess techically I did ask for opinions.
    I am not saying that everyone should have the same idea of what healthy is as I do. It's ok to have different opinions and thats just fine.
    It's not so much the criticism that bothered me but the WAY it was worded.
    She was upset that I was logging what she considered to be unhealthy on a public diary.
    If she has a problem with what I'm eating not being up to her standards, then she shouldn't go around browsing diaries.
    And if she wants to go around criticizing/ giving advice to people, there is a nice and constructive way to do it.
  • PaulJRaymond
    PaulJRaymond Posts: 100 Member


    Thanks. You say that is 350kcals per serving, how many does the above make. Please say 1!

    It's 8 servings. I know you want to eat the whole thing :) But even if you had 2 slices it's 700 calories. Not too bad for a lot of dessert. And it's all from things that are good for you, coconut oil, nuts, fruit..
    Stash the rest in the back of the freezer and forget it for a while. It'll be a nice little surprise when you remember it's there :)

    Thanks again. I put it all into "my recipes" and 8 servings comes out at 1994 kcals and therefore 249 kcals per serving! Will def try the recipe.
  • 4rgl
    4rgl Posts: 106
    I am making this very soon. Is it selfish of me to be glad that it took a rant to get this recipe?

    Nope! I'm happy it turned into a recipe topic from being a boring rant
  • ralindemann
    ralindemann Posts: 1
    Hm. Last I checked this site is called myfitnesspal, not myweightlosspal or myjudgmentalpal. This site is a great tool for tracking your progress no matter what stage you are in. There is more than one legitimate reason to be here. People suck sometimes. Don't let it discourage you.
  • 4rgl
    4rgl Posts: 106
    First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

    Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

    Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome :wink:

    PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

    Thanks.


    This! Can you also give me a substitute for the coconut? I am allergic to it.

    hmm.. not sure about this one. For the coconut in the crust you can omit that and do an extra 1/4 cup of almonds or macadamia nuts or brazil nuts.
    for the coconut oil you could maybe use palm oil.
    Or you could experiment with irish moss, it has a gelatin-like consistency. But I have no idea how much of it you would use. I have no experience with it.

    Better yet, I'll give you another raw cheesecake recipe without any coconut in it.

    Crust:
    1/2 cup dates
    3/4 cup brazil nuts (or any other kind you like)
    1/4 cup almond meal
    1 tablespoon agave or honey

    Blend everyting in processor except for agave. When everything is blended add agave, blend till it forms a sticky paste. Press the mixture to the bottom of a springform pan. (about 1/4 inch thick)

    Filling:
    2 cups of macadamia nuts or cashews or a mix of the two, soaked in water overnight
    1 tbs vanilla
    3 tbs lemon juice
    1 cup agave nectar
    1 cup water

    Blend everything until smooth and creamy. Pour over the crust, freeze until its stiff.

    This recipe is for plain "cheesecake". I haven't tried it with fruit in it, I don't know how it would affect the consistency of it but you could always make a berry topping.

    Berry topping:
    1 cup of blueberries, raspberries, or strawberries
    1/4 cup agave (more or less to taste)

    Blend together, adjust sweetness if necessary.
  • 4rgl
    4rgl Posts: 106
    Hm. Last I checked this site is called myfitnesspal, not myweightlosspal or myjudgmentalpal. This site is a great tool for tracking your progress no matter what stage you are in. There is more than one legitimate reason to be here. People suck sometimes. Don't let it discourage you.

    Your first forum post was on me :smile:
    Do you know how special that made me feel :smokin:

    Joking aside, thanks for your supportive comment
  • 4rgl
    4rgl Posts: 106


    Thanks. You say that is 350kcals per serving, how many does the above make. Please say 1!

    It's 8 servings. I know you want to eat the whole thing :) But even if you had 2 slices it's 700 calories. Not too bad for a lot of dessert. And it's all from things that are good for you, coconut oil, nuts, fruit..
    Stash the rest in the back of the freezer and forget it for a while. It'll be a nice little surprise when you remember it's there :)

    Thanks again. I put it all into "my recipes" and 8 servings comes out at 1994 kcals and therefore 249 kcals per serving! Will def try the recipe.

    That's awesome, now you can have 3 slices instead of 2 :laugh:
    It depends on the brand you use, and I'd say measure the cups while making it. Like how many oz or grams are in 1 cup of almonds or dates? That's where you can go over or under sometimes
  • ChristineS_51
    ChristineS_51 Posts: 872 Member
    I have posted elsewhere at times about how this is not a race, it is a change in one's own life, and that this is for support and education. Some people get really steamed up about stuff. :laugh: My diary is open and I know I sometimes make bad choices, especially recently, and I know I have to develop my self control, but no one has ever snarled at me. I have told some friends that their intake is way too low, and encouraged them to eat more / fresher / clean foods, but hopefully not in a nasty way - that would never be my intention.

    My MFP friends are very encouraging, I only ever "un-friended" one person because she only ever talked about herself & personal life and never really encouraged others, just a whole different mindset.

    I love the recipes, my son & his wife are vegan so I am always on the lookout for good stuff for when they visit. I love how this turned into a cheescake & recipe thread :flowerforyou: and hope you know there are some good people out here in MFP land :smile:
  • vegannlg
    vegannlg Posts: 170 Member
    Dang that cheesecake sounds way better than the red vines I had for breakfast! I feel lucky I haven't had any comments like that yet - seriously W*T*H is wrong with people?

    LOVE that cheese cake recipe! Perfect for the non-dairy person. AND I thought red vines were only for lunch!! :tongue:
  • zmzmzm19
    zmzmzm19 Posts: 155 Member
    Too bad you've had some "bad eggs"......hopefully you've gotten rid of them and brushed them aside. There are some very unhappy, miserable people here, but for the most part, I've just had great encouragement. We are all here for the same reason, I would hope, to get, be and remain healthy. Good luck to you! Hope you have an awesome day!!! Btw..........your cheesecake sounds amazing, will have to try!! :flowerforyou:
  • richx83
    richx83 Posts: 334 Member
    I keep my diary public and I enjoy the accountability aspects of it, never really had anyone give any sort of harsh feedback, but even if they were my response would simply be look at my weight loss ticker and tell me again I am doing it wrong
  • dawnmichelea
    dawnmichelea Posts: 112 Member
    Cheesecake, glorious cheesecake! I do EVERYTHING in moderation! I've managed to lose 19 pounds, and I have dessert........real, fat, dessert, every single night! Tonight, homeade ice cream!
  • MarincicS
    MarincicS Posts: 265 Member
    First - sorry that you had a run of idiots. I don't have very many friends, but none of them have ever been rude or judgmental. I think you can still leave your diary open to your friends, just rid yourself of the non-friend kind. They are not the norm and you should not tolerate them. That's not really what this site is about (unless you personally subscribe to a boot-camp style of motivation).

    Second - i love rants. Even though sometimes they get a bit rude and ugly, there are so many clever and funny people on here that i end up laughing out loud many times while reading through. Personally i'm not a fan of cheesecake, but loved this whole posting none the less!

    Good luck with your health journey!
  • MarincicS
    MarincicS Posts: 265 Member
    Also, i had to post today because it was a weigh in day and my ticker moved 11 pounds and i needed to see that! :-)
  • amortize20
    amortize20 Posts: 62 Member
    cheers for the cheesecake recipe! dump the unsupportive people and move on with some friends who want to see you succeed. lifes too short to put up with negative numpties :)
  • Kebby83
    Kebby83 Posts: 232 Member
    The thing is that I struggle with healthy eating. If I'm at work and someone brings in donuts I'm like "hell yeah, I'll take one" and I do and I enter it into MFP too. There are times my binges are bad that I don't enter it but I do say i my status that I binged.

    I track my food to see when I do good and when I do bad. If I do bad it proves that I still need to track my food and that there is still a reason for me to be on this site - not that I am in-fact an unhealthy pig (maybe I am but who would log just to show the world their bad habits - it's embarrassing when I mess up and having accountability helps me).

    Awesome being 125lbs. I wish I was!!!

    This is one of the first weeks in a LONG time I maintained weight and didn't lose. And you know? I can look back and see that binge of chocolate I had the other night. The work donut, the work breakfast, the snacks I couldn't stay away from, the pizza. Oh god the pizza. That is why I log. I have a reason for not losing weight and I know how to fix it (for instance - I know I need to take more filling lunches to work so I don't snack on their food or get home ravenous and eat everything in site).
  • almc170
    almc170 Posts: 1,093 Member
    Yikes! Sounds like you need some new friends. And that cheesecake recipe looks fabulous!
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    I LOL'd.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    mmmmmcheesecake.
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
    I would say anyone like that needs to leave this site. If you are going to be condescending and Rude, the MFP isn't the place for you. I think since weight loss is such a touchy and personal subject all the 'debates' that turn ugly on the forums need to stop. This is a place that needs to stay positive. Getting worked up over an 'INTERNET debate' isn't helping anyone's weight loss goal. =/
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Your cheesecake sounds amazing and is making me long for the week I spent in San Diego--where every breakfast was a piece of raw cheesecake in a different flavor from Whole Foods.
  • dperich1968
    dperich1968 Posts: 235 Member
    So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

    I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

    What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
    First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
    Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
    Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

    Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
    This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
    One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
    1. Did I ask for your opinion?
    2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
    3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

    This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

    I am sorry you have had such horrible experiences with some of those MFP friends. WOW if some of them looked at my diary they would flip. I log everything and that includes my almost daily wine, liquor or beer.

    I also exercise almost daily.

    I hope you have a supportive group around you now and good for you to delete those that a defeating.
  • serenity216
    serenity216 Posts: 512 Member
    I think some people use the internet as a front for Passive aggressive behavior and you'll find that anywhere (especially Facebook). I have had to weed out a few people like this from MFP myself. I had someone delete me because they didn't like the fact that I ate smart ones (though was where i needed to be on sodium) Just focus on your journey and goals and continue to weed out the people who are trolls--trolling for trouble as a friend of mine would say.
  • SweetSammie
    SweetSammie Posts: 391 Member
    I have a great group of mfp friends that support me .... but it took a little 'weeding' to get it that way. I leave my diary open, and I am not ashamed and (the horrors!) I sometimes eat regular cheesecake.
    I plan on doing this for the rest of my life, so, sometimes cheesecake, or movie popcorn or steak is part of my life.
  • margaretasid
    margaretasid Posts: 44 Member
    Just ignore them. Can i have recipe for that cheesecake please?
  • clairyfairy247
    clairyfairy247 Posts: 425 Member
    I have encountered this but not directed at me fortunately!
    I'm sorry that as a new member, you are subjected to this kind of behavior, I promise we are not all like this!

    My friends list is generally full of wonderful and supportive people, I did have someone who was very negative towards others and I got rid.
    This journey is hard enough and plus we are here to get HEALTHY and FIT not skinny.

    I hope that you discover a caring and motivational crowd very soon :smile:

    GOOD LUCK!
    xox
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
    So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

    I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

    What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
    First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
    Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
    Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

    Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
    This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
    One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
    1. Did I ask for your opinion?
    2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
    3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

    This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?
    I would've asked you why didn't you have Bacon too? Cheesecake and bacon Mmmm!

Categories