My first MFP rant..

LoViNlIFe0225

Where did you pick these people up??? LOL...they sound aweful! I have to say that I have a really amazing and supportive group of people on my MFP Friends List. We all range in weight, size and fitness levels but we all have the same goal (as you can see on my profile). We all want to look hot, be healthy and live long! I think its great that you're 125 and working to be healthy....too many people have the misconception that skinny is healthy...but that's not true. There's so much more in being healthy and living healthy than a person's weight. I'm so glad my friends don't judge me for my diary because I have a lot of cheats throughout my week. I've actually never had someone comment on my diary without me asking for advice. I'd say...purge the friends list and start anew. I try to be selective...its hard on a social networking site where you don't know anyone personally...but I try really hard to select my friends carefully and so far I have had great luck! Sorry for your bad experience! :flowerforyou:

kelichik32

So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
1. Did I ask for your opinion?
2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

Maybe this would be more effective directed at the "friends" who are behaving badly? My diary has always been closed, even to friends, because I don't accept unsolicited advice so there is no need to make it open. None of my friends has ever given me any advice I didn't ask specifically for, but I've been unusually careful who I've friended.

I guess I have as much issue, more actually, with generalized "rants" that complain about the behavior of a small group of people, instead of dealing with those people directly. You aren't asking for advice or support so I won't offer any. I'll just comment that I don't see the point of your "rant."

Sometimes, we just have to rant. A rant doesn't need a point, or usually have a point. Talking about it is a healthy way to find peace. Otherwise you could try identifying the person by the screenname or picture, find where they live, and punch them in the face. I have a problem with violence.....but I'm working on it :-)

Nailrep

Screw 'em. Keep going on YOUR path to fitness....and eat all the cheesecake you can manage! Good luck to you and friend me if you want to have a cheesecake buddy!!LOL!!

Lady_Eliza

love your rant!

jillica

Everyone knows that you have to gain about 10 lbs of thick skin before you can actually post on MFP message boards:-)

nicholettebell

Bump to get the cheesecake recipe later.

Good rant! I keep my diary private because of those reasons although no one was ever rude about it. But I still found it weird when people would be commenting...even if it was "good job"...about what I ate. Could you imagine if we did that in real life to strangers? Walk by a table in a restaurant and say, "Great job on the salad and dressing on the side, but you know that french dip with the au jus is packed with sodium....that's okay, you can start over tomorrow." :huh:

Have a great day!

TISH27kidneytransplant

So this post is kind of pointless, I realize, but like the title says, it's just a rant..

I'm pretty new on MFP and have been following the forums and somewhat participating in them, and understand that there are people whose opinions naturally differ from one another. Some topics, especially those that are controversial usually end up turning ugly and that's expected on a public internet forum. I understand that when you post something asking for opinions, you naturally get a variety of opinions. This I have no problem with...

What I've been having a problem with is some "friends" who've recently added me have PM'd me, trying to give me advice I didn't ask for and in a very condescending way.
First one was a message saying and I quote "What exactly are you doing on MFP? You only weigh 125, are you here for attention? Just curious."
Do I have to be dangerously overweight to want to get healthy? To want to look better? How is my profile begging for attention? Have I posted anything asking for attention? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yes I deleted this person, problem solved but nevertheless it was unexpected and annoying.

Second one was about my food diary that is (or used to be until today) open to everyone.
This morning I entered in "raw cheesecake", my own recipe. Ingredients are almonds, pecans, agave, dates, coconuts, blueberries, coconut oil and cashews, about 350 cals, full of healthy fats, vitamins and fibers.
One of my friends saw that I ate "cheesecake" and had the nerve to message me and say again I quote "Well if you're going to have cheesecake for breakfast why do you choose to share your diary with people who are actually trying to be healthy?"
1. Did I ask for your opinion?
2. Do you even know what the ingredients were for what you thought was unhealthy? Much healthier than the white bread and breakfast sausage you had this morning. Just who exactly are you to judge me?
3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

This person is also deleted but I mean who does this? Is everyone on here so healthy that my 1 slice of cheesecake that isn't even a cheesecake bother someone?

Sorry you got a couple of rude people on here! I would have done the same thing by deleting them. On another note, Can I have the receipe for your cheesecake! yummm!

jl622

Do what you gotta do. Don't worry what other people have to say. Please, share your cheesecake recipe with us! :happy:

Edit: Oh, its here, thanks!!!

Ralphrabbit

First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

I don't even have a lot of friends on here yet. I guess I just got all the bad ones :noway:

Here is the recipe:
Crust:
1/2 cup pecans
1/4 cup almonds
1/4 cup shredded coconut unsweetened
1 tablespoon cacao or carob powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 dates
1 tablespoon agave

Put everything except for agave in a food processor and blend until everything is mixed well.
Add agave, blend until it turns into a sticky paste.
Press the paste onto the bottom of a springform pan.

Filling:
2 cups blueberries. If frozen make sure it's at room tem.
1 cup cashews, ground
7 tablespoon melted coconut oil
1/4 cup agave
1 tablespoon lemon juice

Blend everything. Pour onto the crust. Chill or freeze until the filling is hard.

Just added you, replacing the bad eggs with the awesome ones :flowerforyou:
[/quote]
Have just printed the recipe thankyou!!

I agree with this guy! I do sometimes make comment on my friends status about stuff if they are under calories but eating really badly on a regular basis or if they are eating no veggies or fruit but I try to do it kindly & expect I will be deleted if I do it too much. If someone looks at my diary & see a problem I would hope they would comment. It is part of the support thing?? Get yourself some good friends & then you can lose the dross on the way with the weight!

Now, I have never had Agave, where can I get it in the UK & what does it taste like??

Leslie85

First off, I almost had 1/2 of a FULL FAT fresh strawberry buttercream slice of cake I bought yesterday from a local bakery today for breakfast. I resisted, however, I will have some after supper! haha! Like you said though- it's nobody's business but your own!

Also, I haven't had that happen to me...yet....but yes, I'm only 114lbs, but I'm definitely not here for the attention. I'm here to get healthy. Granted, I know strawberry buttercream cake won't do that...but before anyone says anything- it was just 1 slice that I have been eating on for 2 days now.!

Oh, and it's the first thing I've had like that in months...

TheTallMan

Forget those folks who don't get it. I'm another person who isn't terribly overweight (anymore), and am still here to get and stay healthy. You're doing this for you, don't let naysayers whom you've never met get on you. Stay positive and stay awesome.

tlc12078

First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

Smart people should be able to look at the macros of your cheescake and see if it is a decent choice or not. I say well done, I love cheesecake (insert shameless plug for the MFP Cheesecake group here) :bigsmile:

Many people on here aren't yet capable of appreciating that people have different goals to themselves, or are at different stages. Thie trick is to find people that are. Feel free to add me if you like - I'm pretty awesome

PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

Thanks.

I don't even have a lot of friends on here yet. I guess I just got all the bad ones :noway:

Here is the recipe:
Crust:
1/2 cup pecans
1/4 cup almonds
1/4 cup shredded coconut unsweetened
1 tablespoon cacao or carob powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 dates
1 tablespoon agave

Put everything except for agave in a food processor and blend until everything is mixed well.
Add agave, blend until it turns into a sticky paste.
Press the paste onto the bottom of a springform pan.

Filling:
2 cups blueberries. If frozen make sure it's at room tem.
1 cup cashews, ground
7 tablespoon melted coconut oil
1/4 cup agave
1 tablespoon lemon juice

Blend everything. Pour onto the crust. Chill or freeze until the filling is hard.

Just added you, replacing the bad eggs with the awesome ones :flowerforyou:

i am so trying this

ChrisGoldn

Awesome Rant.... Good for you to delete them.... I generally never say anything about a person's diary even though i do look at everyone's diary on my Friend's list daily... Only time i try to give any advice is if they post asking for some advice. I even have a MFP friend who has her diary set for 600 cals a day and never even reachs close to it... I dont say anything about it, even though i disagree with it. She isnt complaining and seems happy with it, so like you say "Who am i to judge and speak my opinion".


Cheesecake recipe looks good... i may have to try it. Thanks

SusanFinck

I love cheesecake and don't feel I have to justify anything I eat to anyone besides myself. It's an occasional treat NOT a full course meal! Enjoy yourself and just keep dumping the nay sayers.

Langlady

It's a shame you have set your diary to private, though I completely understand why. I would love some of your recipe ideas. The chessecake sounds fabuous and maybe even diabetic so that I could make it for my father-in-law. If you want you can friend me. If anything I would love to see some of your recipes.

I am glad to hear that you have deleted such negative people. That is not a good experience and I am sorry you have had that. Friend me if you like.

jadeb94

hahaha, you should see my diary! Some people would have a nervous breakdown at how unhealthy I can be!

Can't say I've ever experienced such pushy people on here. I just get well dones and keep it ups when I do well, keep looking for helpful friends!

JodaNord

My diary is open, but i don't think i have ever had anyone be like this to me, tho i am quite particular about my friend list as well. I really like to keep it to ppl i know IRL, but have a few i dont based on similar goals and obstacles that have popped up along the journey.

Sorry you have to deal with this, but like any public forum/website there are going to be problems, its all in do we let it bother us, or use the site for what we need and nothing more. Take it all with a grain of salt IMO.

AndMee

Not only have I had cheesecake for breakfast but really is there much difference between a chocolate muffin and chocolate cake, well the frosting. Seriously, who hasn't had a "muffin" for breakfast, of which those things are sometimes loaded with more crap than a piece of cake. It's not like this happens everyday and if it did it is a lot healthier than those dang muffins.

Kudos to you! I think I'll make chocolate cake for breakfast tomorrow and I'll have a cup of ice cream instead of milk

DrJackson6

You stated...

...
3. Even if I had a 1000 calorie slice of regular cheesecake, how is what I eat your business? I'm logging for myself, and my diary is open for the times that I might need help or advice.

You left it open and you got opinions and advice. I am sure you are aware that all advice may not be what we want to hear. Glad that you closed it to avoid further misunderstandings.

I am a bit selective about my MFP friends, I will delete if anyone is rude. I only want positive support. No need to argue or take it personal enough to rant. Just delete and move on.

creech6317

Bump

The Cheesecake sounds so yummy. I can't wait to try it out.

Susabelle64

Bump for CHEESECAKE! YUM!!

dancinrascal

I often feel a little out of place as well. I don't add anyone on here because I am at my goal and just trying to maintain. I'm on here because I am very interested in health/nutrition and love to help people out who are trying to accomplish the same thing i was striving for. and as far as that cheesecake goes go for it! haha

tropaze

First I'm going to apologize, I'm not usually quick to cast aspersions on other peoples food choices, since mine aren't always all that fabulous. Second, I think a lot of people use the site for weight loss and forget that this is MyFitnessPal not myweightlosspal. They see a lower weight and assume you don't need to lose anything or need to be here (not an excuse just what I've observed).
Lastly, I totally had to comment since I wanted to save that cheesecake recipe for later!

MariarR33

It's pretty sad people have the time to look at complete strangers diarys and then take the time to pm you about your eating habits. Seriously, get a job and make some money, or something.
You have to do what works for you. If yiou make healthy cheesecake, then eat up! It's not about what other people think, it's about what you want for yourself.

Tojsmom

bump...going to write down recipe later

myogibbs

Wow...I have been on mfp for about 6 months & I have only wonderful and supportive friends. I commend you for wanting to be healthy (& finding a way to eat cheesecake in a healthy way:) ). I like your attitude in just deleting them & moving on...so sorry you have had to deal with these close-minded people...please know that there are LOTS of really supportive and wonderful people on here that only want to cheer your victories & commiserate with you in your defeats. I have unfortunately seen a lot of threads where people have been really rude & I know they are out there & you just gotta consider the source on those people. Keep on doing this for you, because it is you that matters & you deserve to be healthy. Great job!!!

4rgl

Also, i had to post today because it was a weigh in day and my ticker moved 11 pounds and i needed to see that! :-)

Yay thats great im so happy for you. :drinker:

sarahharmintx

Umm wow. I didnt even know that kinda thing happened. Ive never had that happen nor would I ever have the ballz to call someone out like that. I eat like crap and I know it. But 5/7 days, Im under or right at goal. You did the right thing- delete immediately. Sorry this happened to you.

4rgl

First thing you need to do is purge your friends list of people who aren't going to support you.

PS. I'd LOVE that cheesecake recipe if you'd care to share.

I don't even have a lot of friends on here yet. I guess I just got all the bad ones :noway:

Here is the recipe:
Crust:
1/2 cup pecans
1/4 cup almonds
1/4 cup shredded coconut unsweetened
1 tablespoon cacao or carob powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 dates
1 tablespoon agave

Put everything except for agave in a food processor and blend until everything is mixed well.
Add agave, blend until it turns into a sticky paste.
Press the paste onto the bottom of a springform pan.

Filling:
2 cups blueberries. If frozen make sure it's at room tem.
1 cup cashews, ground
7 tablespoon melted coconut oil
1/4 cup agave
1 tablespoon lemon juice

Blend everything. Pour onto the crust. Chill or freeze until the filling is hard.

Just added you, replacing the bad eggs with the awesome ones :flowerforyou:

Have just printed the recipe thankyou!!

I agree with this guy! I do sometimes make comment on my friends status about stuff if they are under calories but eating really badly on a regular basis or if they are eating no veggies or fruit but I try to do it kindly & expect I will be deleted if I do it too much. If someone looks at my diary & see a problem I would hope they would comment. It is part of the support thing?? Get yourself some good friends & then you can lose the dross on the way with the weight!

Now, I have never had Agave, where can I get it in the UK & what does it taste like??
[/quote]

Substitute honey if you can't find agave. Tastes pretty similar.

4rgl

Bump!! Awesome recipe! Thank you and sorry about the jerks!! Maybe we should have Cheesecake breakfast day and everyone eat it and log it in their open diaries on the same day so the jerk's head will explode from indignation!!!

You rock! Keep the recipes coming!!

I love this idea