Dollar Dance
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Do it. You'll rake in some cash to use. It's not tacky, and people are usually happy to give a few bucks to help you start your new life.0
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We realized after the fact that it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.
We really wish we had done it, looking back. Maybe just done it and not taken dollars or done dollars for the Humane Society or something.
This. It certainly ISN'T about money when it's called a DOLLAR dance and not a ten dollar dance.
For the record, I'm not engaged. Just curious.0 -
There has been a dollar dance at every wedding I have ever been to. Most people take cash specifically for that purpose, and most people give anywhere from $5 - $20. I personally think it is fine -- almost everyone we know that has gotten married recently certainly had a need for the cash.0
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I posted this in the debate group but didn't get much of a response.
I've been thinking about this tradition at Indiana weddings and wondering if I would include it in my hypothetical future wedding. I'll be going to at least one wedding this summer but haven't attended one about 5-6 years. I'll be interested to see if this wedding includes one. Every wedding I've ever attended has included a dollar dance, including fancy/luxurious weddings..
I realize this is typical in the midwest (I'm in Indiana), but for those who don't know, men line up to dance with the bride for about 30 seconds and women with the groom. The dancer usually donates $1 or more if they feel like it. The cash can be used for spending on the honeymoon or just cash towards their new life together.
Would you feel this is appropriate considering the region or just plain tacky?
all my friends have done this at their weddings and we had no problem doing it. it is good too to get pics with the bride. I would say go for it!0 -
I guess my friends and family are FAR out of the norm??? We always have such a blast with it! Guys get in the line for a dance with the bride and then they goof off and get in line for a second dance with the GROOM!:laugh: Same on the girls' side. People that think it's tacky don't do it... then they get looked at as being boring and dull for sitting in their seats while we are all having a blast! :drinker:0
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Standard fare at Mexican weddings, and many guests make nice donations in lieu of gifts. It can make for some pretty special moments, actually, where you get to chat with the bride or groom privately.0
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Being from MN, just about every wedding I've been to has had a dollar dance. I view them as tradition, and I don't see them as being all that objectionable. If you want to participate, you do, and if you don't, you don't. It would be one thing if there was a traditional to go guilt everyone into joining in, but that doesn't seem to be a part of it, so no big deal.
So, this gives me a chance to tell my favorite dollar dance story. I was the best man in a wedding many years ago, so I was policing the time for the groom. He gave me spcific insutructions to be wathing and he'd signal me when he was ready to rotate (especially when he was dancing with a grandma, or elderly relative, someone he wasn't comfortable dancing with for an extended time). Anyway, he was dancing with an older woman, I don't remember who it was, but his cousins were next in line. These cousins were identical twins and were SMOKIN' hot. I was a mid 20s unattached guy, so I did what any guy would do and I chatted them up big time at this point (they were way out of my league, but they were a captive audience, so I took advantage of the opportunity). Anyway, the groom was signalling and signalling me and I wasn't paying him any attention. He wasnted to be switching every 30 seconds, but I think he spent most of one song with her. He had my head after it was over, but it was worth it. Well, not that I had anything to show for it, but it was fun.
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We had one at our wedding. I think it is a tradition in both me and the wife's family. We did NOT do the whole garter toss thing though. We both thought that was way more tacky than a dollar dance.
I also did not want to have the chicken dance either.... but I was outruled by my parents and in-laws (they paid the band extra to play it).0 -
I dunno, you ask people to come to your wedding, buy you gifts and then ask for MORE money?
I've known people to put out a birdcage/box for people to drop off cards that may/may not contain money.
I live in Seattle, and have never seen this practiced...did see it at a wedding that was held in Montana.
^Its optional part of the reception and usually gives people a chance to talk to the bride or groom (who can be elusive to catch a moment with on wedding day). In my experience, its not a negative thing if you choose not do it. Its generally if you want to, do it, if you dont want to do it, you dont have to.
Where I live, its pretty common at all wedding receptions.
Safe guess on average wedding gift is $25-$35. Average cost of food per plate (figuring tax & gratuity) is $30-$40. Plus, consider if the couple hosts liquor at $175/keg....is an extra $1 that big of a deal.
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I had a good couple friend of mine that did this at their wedding. Their wedding included alot of different special things (mostly christian incorporations) I think it's a cute tradition.0
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I live in CA but grew up in the Midwest and Dollar dances are pretty much norm for all the weddings we've been to. I had one at mine as did my siblings. There are some weddings for friends and such who chose not to do one, but no one has ever said it was tacky.
My criteria for how much I "tip" to dance with the bride/groom depends on:
A) How close we are to the bride/groom, we give more $ the closer we are
Was the bar open or no-host? I have less $ to spend if I'm paying for all my drinks too 0 -
I mentioned this to the OP already. but I'll summarize.
Frankly I'm personally insulted that anyone would have a problem with this. Its pretty much a polish tradition in my family. The bride puts on a babushka, we play the dollar dance song. The maid of honor puts on an apron to collect the money. its a polka. and she dances with each guest that wants to. They give $1, but I've seen $20's and $100's in there. Usually there is a shot afterwards (yum).
Then everyone makes a big ring, or series of rings, to surround the bride. to keep the groom away. He has to break though and carries the bride away. Because you know. giving everyone a shot of vodka and then telling them pretty much to beat up on him is a good idea.
Besides. I don't care who you are. That money is going to be great on your honey moon. Just do it. Why not?.. Although I find the ones were you pay to dance with the groom a bit odd.0 -
Every wedding I've been to has had one. I'm from Michigan. And I did one at my wedding too.
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You are worth more than a dollar!
OOps, wrong thread...0 -
Me too. Although at my wedding we didn't throw money at the dancers, or the bride and groom.thought this was gonna be a stripper thread
Personally, even if I had had a more "traditional" wedding, I wouldn't have done this.
Also, who plans for their hypothetical future wedding? (Probably everyone but me...)0 -
I've only heard of the dollar dance at the bachlor party. LOL.0
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Many wedding traditions are very regional. I'm originally from Vermont, and had seen a lot of dollar dances at weddings, but also all the crazy dancing, huge tables of GIFTS for starting your new life together (not just money) and cash bars are much more acceptable. then I moved to Massachussetts, and worked in the wedding business at a venue. It seems like only the "blue collar" families had these traditions and the swankier crowd shy'd away from anything hokey.
I will tell you, though -- sometimes the dollar dance is the only "face time" many guests get with the bride or groom, and it's nice to be able to dance with some of the older guests. Strangers won't do it, but extended family will enjoy a little dance and hug from the special couple. Guests have the option of the token $1 for the well wishes and "dance," or some come up with substantially larger bills - $10s and $20s.
I agree with one of the other ladies -- it's YOUR wedding: if you like it, do it. God knows the brides and families who think it's tacky already have made up their minds to the contrary.0 -
I have never been to a wedding that had one (but I come from AK and there they do a traditional blanket toss lol) I dont know why everyone says it's tacky though. thinking about it, it give the guests a chance to see the bride for a minute and feel good that they are donating to their future...or atleast a nice set of knives lol.
I think if its customery then go for it.0 -
My cousin had a very nice (formal) wedding and did this about 5 years ago. Heres how she did it: everyone lined up (men, women, children), there was a waiter standing by to give the guest a shot (if they wanted/were old enough, not sure if this is traditional), and the guest would put money in a fancy little bag the bride held and then dance with the bride. I thought it was fun.0
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I don't have a problem with it as long as I'm not the DJ. It's a party killer as it usually takes forever and you need to do it pretty early if you're going to get the best bang for the buck (you want to do it before all the older people head home as they're the ones with the money and the most likely to donate). I don't think it's tacky at all. In Western Pennsylvania they usually offer shots to those who donate to dance as well.0
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it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.
^^^This! My husband and I did it and I feel there is nothing wrong with it. Yes it is a change to get a few seconds with someone who came to your wedding. Let's face it weddings are busy and you might not always get around to see everyone so this makes it nice and fun to have a few seconds of time with the bride & groom. The $1 just makes it fun and like a game!0 -
I don't find them tacky at all. They are VERY popular in Northeast PA, and it's usually done to a Polka. Like someone said before, it's more of a chance to have a moment with the bride (I've never seen one where the groom dances...) I'm fairly certain no one is expecting people to throw in hundred dollar bills. And I'm sure if someone went up to dance and didn't throw in a dollar they wouldn't be escorted off the dance floor. lol The highlight of all the ones I have been to, (including my own... I'm not sure if it's more of a Polish tradition or not...) is that as each person dances with the bride, then forms a circle around her. Once everyone is done dancing, they tighten the circle around the bride and the groom is supposed to try to break through the crowd to "rescue" the bride and carry her off. Like I said, I can see where if someone wasn't used to the dance they might think it's tacky, but around here it's just a tradition, and most people go to the wedding with a few bucks in cash just for that purpose. And most people I know look forward to it. 0
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I've seen Dollar Dances at two weddings, and I thought they were horribly tacky and boring. I am sure they were great for the drunks that kept it going for 15 minutes, but for the rest of the crowd that was sober, we sat around and waited for the dance to go on.
I also had the displeasure of listening to the bride complain about the small amount of money she raked in. Apparently $200 in a Dollar Dance, ontop of their gifts and the free wedding, was just not enough.
If someone wants to arrange for a happy private moment, they could circulate around the reception and say hi. Unfortunately, in my area, the bride spends the reception getting drunk instead.0 -
I think people are missing the point and assuming it's about "asking your guests for cash". It's called a dollar dance, not a donation dance. If you are a guest and don't want to dance, you are not required. If you are offended by $1, then you need to remove the large parcel from your backside.
This is a tradition. I mentioned people had fun getting to dance with the bride and groom as say a few words at the weddings I'VE attended. They've had one at every wedding I've attended where it was a young couple and first time marriage. I've never seen it done for a second or third marriage.
Once again, I'm not even engaged. Just shocked at the negative responses and surprised this isn't common across the country.0 -
I mentioned this to the OP already. but I'll summarize.
Frankly I'm personally insulted that anyone would have a problem with this. Its pretty much a polish tradition in my family. The bride puts on a babushka, we play the dollar dance song. The maid of honor puts on an apron to collect the money. its a polka. and she dances with each guest that wants to. They give $1, but I've seen $20's and $100's in there. Usually there is a shot afterwards (yum).
Then everyone makes a big ring, or series of rings, to surround the bride. to keep the groom away. He has to break though and carries the bride away. Because you know. giving everyone a shot of vodka and then telling them pretty much to beat up on him is a good idea.
Besides. I don't care who you are. That money is going to be great on your honey moon. Just do it. Why not?.. Although I find the ones were you pay to dance with the groom a bit odd.
Personally, I'm insulted that you're invoking our shared Polish ancestry to justify hitting up guests for more money in the crass display of base materialism. Also, just because something's a "cultural tradition" doesn't mean it isn't horribly tacky, or, in worse cases, actively harmful. That's why cultural traditions change and various things that were once common become unacceptable (like, say, Mad Men-style misogyny).
Shame on you.0 -
Oh so tacky. This is NOT an "every wedding" thing at all! I've seen it twice, and frankly it's embarrassing.
Of course, I've never been to a wedding in Indiana.0 -
I think people are missing the point and assuming it's about "asking your guests for cash". It's called a dollar dance, not a donation dance. If you are a guest and don't want to dance, you are not required. If you are offended by $1, then you need to remove the large parcel from your backside.
This is a tradition. I mentioned people had fun getting to dance with the bride and groom as say a few words at the weddings I'VE attended. They've had one at every wedding I've attended where it was a young couple and first time marriage. I've never seen it done for a second or third marriage.
Once again, I'm not even engaged. Just shocked at the negative responses and surprised this isn't common across the country.
If you didn't want both sides, why in the world did you phrase this in the form of a question?
Also, I find it interesting that you're not even planning a wedding and you're already deciding how to hit up your guests for cash. Impressive.0 -
I'm failing to see the connection between sharing time with the guests and them having to pay money to be honored with time spent with bride and/or groom.
Greed spans many cultures, but that doesn't make it a good thing, imho.0 -
Are you comparing a voluntary dance and gift with misogyny? Really? :huh:I mentioned this to the OP already. but I'll summarize.
Frankly I'm personally insulted that anyone would have a problem with this. Its pretty much a polish tradition in my family. The bride puts on a babushka, we play the dollar dance song. The maid of honor puts on an apron to collect the money. its a polka. and she dances with each guest that wants to. They give $1, but I've seen $20's and $100's in there. Usually there is a shot afterwards (yum).
Then everyone makes a big ring, or series of rings, to surround the bride. to keep the groom away. He has to break though and carries the bride away. Because you know. giving everyone a shot of vodka and then telling them pretty much to beat up on him is a good idea.
Besides. I don't care who you are. That money is going to be great on your honey moon. Just do it. Why not?.. Although I find the ones were you pay to dance with the groom a bit odd.
Personally, I'm insulted that you're invoking our shared Polish ancestry to justify hitting up guests for more money in the crass display of base materialism. Also, just because something's a "cultural tradition" doesn't mean it isn't horribly tacky, or, in worse cases, actively harmful. That's why cultural traditions change and various things that were once common become unacceptable (like, say, Mad Men-style misogyny).
Shame on you.
Nobody is being forced to participate. You may find it tacky, but "actively harmful"? Really? Good grief...0 -
It's a dollar. It's a symbolic gesture -- a sign of support for the couple. Get over it.I'm failing to see the connection between sharing time with the guests and them having to pay money to be honored with time spent with bride and/or groom.
Greed spans many cultures, but that doesn't make it a good thing, imho.0
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