Dollar Dance

pants77

it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.

^^^This! My husband and I did it and I feel there is nothing wrong with it. Yes it is a change to get a few seconds with someone who came to your wedding. Let's face it weddings are busy and you might not always get around to see everyone so this makes it nice and fun to have a few seconds of time with the bride & groom. The $1 just makes it fun and like a game!

No, not this at all. Walk around and greet the guests at your reception, or have a (free) receiving line. (I feel a need to specify free because it seems like a lot of you here would probably post a sign with an admission charge at the front end if you felt you could get away with it.) Also, it's ridiculous to think that you're going to exchange all kinds of confidences and news with someone for the 30 seconds of the dollar dance. That excuse flies like a non-flying pig.

We thought the exact same thing, that it's not necessary and that it's tacky.

Then at our wedding, we were halfway through making the rounds after dinner and people from my wife's side that we hadn't gotten to yet were getting up and leaving. Your grandfather might not want to dance to "Rumpshaker" with you and your friends, but might want to have a minute with you to tell you he loves you. Etc.

From our experience, I can say that a reception line or going around to tables is not the same as having a private one-on-one with everyone who has something supportive to say to you but doesn't necessarily want to say it in a crowded line or around a crowded table.

Things are flying 10,000 miles a minute at weddings. If we'd done some kind of dollar dance, it would have made our wedding better.

Berberena33

We did this at our wedding (in MN). I can see both sides, it can take forever if a lot of people line up and it can be a really party killer but at the same time it gives everyone a chance to dance with the bride/groom and give them their personal congrats! Also it is a great way to make a little extra cash - we paid for our honeymoon hotel for 5 nights with the cash we made from the dollar dance alone! And people don't have to do it if they dont want. Also maybe playing some more upbeat music or swing music instead of all the slow songs would make it a little bit less of a party killer.

There are a lot of fun variations out there - my cousin auctioned off her Garter Belt and let me tell you people were getting together in groups to collect money to outbid the uncle or cousin that was bidding against them! I think she got almost $600 just for her garter belt.... it was awesome to see!

Also steeling the grooms shoes and having a ransom amount for them is something I have seen - once enough money was raised his shoes were returned!

Chubbyhulagirl

Ive never heard of this before. Where im from (Hawaii) you have your first dance and afterward during the second song, etc guests will come up and stick a bill on the bride or groom and the opposite has to pick it up with their mouth. (Say a guest tucks a dollar behind the ear of the bride. The groom has to go fish it out with his mouth. No hands. And vice versa.) The bridesmaids are usually standing by with a basket for the money. This is a local tradition that ive seen at every wedding ive ever been to. Even on weddings where the couple didnt put it into their program and just did a first dance, towards the end of the song people began walking up. Nobody thinks its tacky. Its just a fun tradition, brings a little laughter and the couple get a headstart on a joint savings account.
We wont have one in our program but it is a guarantee our friends and family will be walking up during the first dance. Its just the way it is here. They will even get offended if we refuse to take their money. So different strokes for different folks I guess.

If your dollar dance is as common as ours, I say go for it. You know your guests so you know if they will think its great or tacky.

macpatti

Good grief! The dollar dance is not "tacky" if it's a tradition in the family of the bride or groom. Mexican families take it very seriously and often give their wedding gift in the form of money during this dance (I've seen $500 be given to the couple). I've never been to a wedding with a dollar dance and heard people sitting around saying how tacky it is.

Now, if a couple says, "Hey, I've heard of a dollar dance where we can get cash, so let's do it so we have money for our honeymoon" and it's never been a tradition in their family or amongst their friends, then that would be tacky. But, I also think a cash bar at a wedding is tacky, too.

GasMasterFlash

I'm offended by the person who is offended that this 'tradition' is not 'nationally accepted'. Hello? Differences are what make people unique.
I thought that America was supposed to be accepting of ALL people of ALL walks of life, not discriminate because we don't do some silly dance asking for money. I have been to weddings where there was no dollar dance, but the bride went around to each and every table to say hello, and thank their guests for coming to the wedding and chat for a few minutes, in ADDITION to a receiving line.

Nobody has suggested that anybody has to participate. Nor has anyone suggested that it is the only way to chat with the bride or groom. Good lord, people, get over yourselves. In most cases, the folks at the wedding are accustomed to it, and find it normal. If not, why do you care?

mandydoll

I'm from Australia so i don't think its tacky at all, actually sounds pretty fun.

irisheyez718

I live in Texas and I've never been to a wedding that didn't have one!

MommaKit79

DOLLAR DANCE is a traditional dance. My dad was a DJ (in New Jersey) and everyone ALWAYS wanted a Dollar Dance. I havent been to many weddings that DIDNT have them. We had one at our wedding and we actually had a great time. it is actually pretty fun because my girlfriends also danced with me and my husbands friends danced with him as well. It was really fun! But, to each their own!

GasMasterFlash

Good grief! The dollar dance is not "tacky" if it's a tradition in the family of the bride or groom. Mexican families take it very seriously and often give their wedding gift in the form of money during this dance (I've seen $500 be given to the couple). I've never been to a wedding with a dollar dance and heard people sitting around saying how tacky it is.

Exactly. It's a lack of understanding of the tradition and culture around the dance. I was married in a traditional Mexican wedding. 90% of the Mexican guests participated in the dance in lieu of gifts.

Those unfamiliar with the dance, managed to enjoy it and participate, even with just a dollar. They didn't assume that we were pandering for money. They immersed themselves in something new to them -- and enjoyed themselves. Y'all should try it.

joeltroll

We had one at our wedding. We gave the cash to charity. I believe it is more about getting a personal moment with each guest to thank them for coming and to give/get personal well wishes. I guess it's an Indiana/Midwest thing though.

macpatti

Charity is one thing... Greed is another

You're better off just saying you don't understand the tradition than calling it greed. It is a very important part of a Mexican wedding reception.

histora

Good grief! The dollar dance is not "tacky" if it's a tradition in the family of the bride or groom. Mexican families take it very seriously and often give their wedding gift in the form of money during this dance (I've seen $500 be given to the couple). I've never been to a wedding with a dollar dance and heard people sitting around saying how tacky it is.

Exactly. It's a lack of understanding of the tradition and culture around the dance. I was married in a traditional Mexican wedding. 90% of the Mexican guests participated in the dance in lieu of gifts.

Those unfamiliar with the dance, managed to enjoy it and participate, even with just a dollar. They didn't assume that we were pandering for money. They immersed themselves in something new to them -- and enjoyed themselves. Y'all should try it.

Key was in lieu of gifts. In this area, guests are expected to help with the bridal shower, bring a gift, and then do the dollar dance. How much does a new couple need? o.O

macpatti

Those unfamiliar with the dance, managed to enjoy it and participate, even with just a dollar. They didn't assume that we were pandering for money. They immersed themselves in something new to them -- and enjoyed themselves. Y'all should try it.

It's also fun when guys line up to dance with the groom. And soooo cute when little kids line up to dance with the bride and groom. It's so much fun and captures a special moment between those dancing. It's not really so much about the money as it is the tradition. Some give $1 and some give much more.

histora

Again with this idea that these sweet, fun events can't happen without a dollar dance. Little girls and boys can dance with the bride and groom without paying for it at most weddings. At my best friend's wedding, she forbid a dollar dance, and then made sure everyone knew that the bride and groom were more than okay with dancing with everyone...in fact, they expected it! She felt that so many had contributed before and during the wedding, that to ask for more money in the wedding was tacky.

chunkiedunker

its a very long time consuming tradition. i think it takes way to long. however i have been to weddings that do the dash for cash. where the bride and groom run around collecting money that guest hold up. who ever collects the most wins.

i have been trying to convince my fiance to do 50/50 drawings at our wedding. i was at a wedding one time that did this. most people donated the cash back to the bride and groom. and it had alot of people excited. with my fiances family and their history of gambling it would probably pay for our honeymoon even without them donating cash back.

but let it be known, no dollar dance at our wedding, or chicken or macarena, or train for us.

also everyone knows of some people that they wouldn't want to dance with, that you will now be pimping yourself out to for a dollar.

GasMasterFlash

In this area, guests are expected to help with the bridal shower, bring a gift, and then do the dollar dance. How much does a new couple need? o.O

I know that there's a lot of talk on MFP about exercising one's body, but one also needs to exercise their free will. Unless you have a gun to your head, I'm pretty sure that you can choose whether or not to participate in any of those activities. :bigsmile:

Krissy366

I dunno, you ask people to come to your wedding, buy you gifts and then ask for MORE money?

I've known people to put out a birdcage/box for people to drop off cards that may/may not contain money.

I live in Seattle, and have never seen this practiced...did see it at a wedding that was held in Montana.

^Its optional part of the reception and usually gives people a chance to talk to the bride or groom (who can be elusive to catch a moment with on wedding day). In my experience, its not a negative thing if you choose not do it. Its generally if you want to, do it, if you dont want to do it, you dont have to.

Where I live, its pretty common at all wedding receptions.

Safe guess on average wedding gift is $25-$35. Average cost of food per plate (figuring tax & gratuity) is $30-$40. Plus, consider if the couple hosts liquor at $175/keg....is an extra $1 that big of a deal.

Not sure where you are that those are the averages (for gifts or for dinners) because that doesn't even come close to the norm where I am (try $50-100 for gift, and likely $150 per person) however, the host provides the hospitality as a consequence of inviting guests. It is not up to the guests to pay them back, so yes, $1 is a big deal. It's tacky - though I do understand it is an acceptable practice in many cultures and a tradition in many families, so I don't let myself get bent out of shape about it. Though I've only ever seen it done once.

macpatti

Again with this idea that these sweet, fun events can't happen without a dollar dance. Little girls and boys can dance with the bride and groom without paying for it at most weddings. At my best friend's wedding, she forbid a dollar dance, and then made sure everyone knew that the bride and groom were more than okay with dancing with everyone...in fact, they expected it! She felt that so many had contributed before and during the wedding, that to ask for more money in the wedding was tacky.

Great for "your best friend". You're missing the point that it's tradition, as in the culture, for many people. So, it wasn't for your best friend and she didn't understand it. But, it's kind of rude to call another culture's tradition tacky.

scl552

Now that we're in the twenty-first century, the dollar dance is not what it used to be (a way to help the couple financially).. now it is a a "game" that the family can all play together...however it can leave hurt feelings if your guests are not acustomed to it. It One thing you don't want on your wedding day is for your guests to leave feeling like they're being viewed as open wallets.

In the old days, the money dance was a way to provide a small amount of spending money, in a culture where wedding gifts were things like a bag of flour, a chicken or two, or a homemade chair. In today's culture, we give much more to our friends than that.

The only time it is truly proper to have this at your wedding is if *already* exists in your family's culture. If your family has never done this, a couple should not introduce it, and the couple should not initiate it. The money dance is only properly organized by the guests, like your great aunt, or your best man, or grandmother, not by the people who will be receiving the money.

GasMasterFlash

Again with this idea that these sweet, fun events can't happen without a dollar dance. Little girls and boys can dance with the bride and groom without paying for it at most weddings. At my best friend's wedding, she forbid a dollar dance, and then made sure everyone knew that the bride and groom were more than okay with dancing with everyone...in fact, they expected it! She felt that so many had contributed before and during the wedding, that to ask for more money in the wedding was tacky.

Did anyone suggest that guests could ONLY dance with the bride or groom during the Dollar Dance?

Again, it appears that most folks criticizing the practice are unfamiliar with it.

GasMasterFlash

The only time it is truly proper to have this at your wedding is if *already* exists in your family's culture. If your family has never done this, a couple should not introduce it, and the couple should not initiate it. The money dance is only properly organized by the guests, like your great aunt, or your best man, or grandmother, not by the people who will be receiving the money.

Excellent points. I've only ever seen it organized by other family members -- never by the bride or groom.

utahgirl247

hmmmm....kind of tacky in my opinion

MerBear30

Good grief! The dollar dance is not "tacky" if it's a tradition in the family of the bride or groom. Mexican families take it very seriously and often give their wedding gift in the form of money during this dance (I've seen $500 be given to the couple). I've never been to a wedding with a dollar dance and heard people sitting around saying how tacky it is.

Exactly. It's a lack of understanding of the tradition and culture around the dance. I was married in a traditional Mexican wedding. 90% of the Mexican guests participated in the dance in lieu of gifts.

Those unfamiliar with the dance, managed to enjoy it and participate, even with just a dollar. They didn't assume that we were pandering for money. They immersed themselves in something new to them -- and enjoyed themselves. Y'all should try it.

Key was in lieu of gifts. In this area, guests are expected to help with the bridal shower, bring a gift, and then do the dollar dance. How much does a new couple need? o.O

.

It's their wedding day. It's about celebrating with them and having fun. They are putting on a big production and spending quite a bit of money on it to celebrate their union with family and friends. All these traditions are about fun and celebrating! I seriously doubt the bride and groom are sitting there counting presents and trying to squeeze money out of people! It is their wedding day! It's all about them. They should be able to have whatever dance they want. And if you are invited you should be happy they included you in their big day. Not sitting there judging them for their choices in DJ or entertainment.

macpatti

Excellent points. I've only ever seen it organized by other family members -- never by the bride or groom.

I've never seen it initiated by the bride or groom. In addition, I've neer seen names being written down of who doesn't participate so the bride and groom know who didn't give money. It's for fun!

leomom72

im im picturing this right in my head, i think it would be a fun little thing to do..WHY would it be tacky ?? its helping a friend start out a new life with a fun dance in between

maybethistime70

at my family's weddings...we usually had the guys lining up to dance with the groom along with the ladies. not because of sexual preference...just because they are all silly like that. if you want to do it, do it....your wedding your day.

histora

I am accustomed to the tradition here, and it has nothing to do with a cutural tradition anymore and more to do with a socially-sanctified way to make MORE money.

I think this goes deeper into the extravagance and display of wealth that weddings have become today. One should not aspire to rake in the money at a reception to cover the cost of the wedding. If the wedding couldn't be afforded, then it shouldn't have been thrown in that manner.

But hey, it's cultural, right? So it should always be accepted? I'll be sure to let the young men of the Hmong culture in Minneapolis area that even though their culturally expected practice of kidnapping the bride is illegal, because it is a cultural expectation, so we'll overlook it.

Or adultery. That's actually culturally expected. Or making idle bodily threats...that's actually culturally expected in some areas as well!

wcasie

I always thought they were tacky.

My wife and I always thought they were tacky too, so we didn't do one.

We realized after the fact that it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.

We really wish we had done it, looking back. Maybe just done it and not taken dollars or done dollars for the Humane Society or something.

This is what they are about! you can make an announcement before hand if the $ is going to chariry. Though getting a chance to dance and have a moment of your time on your special day is usually worth the dollar!

WickedGarden

I'm offended by the person who is offended that this 'tradition' is not 'nationally accepted'. Hello? Differences are what make people unique.
I thought that America was supposed to be accepting of ALL people of ALL walks of life, not discriminate because we don't do some silly dance asking for money. I have been to weddings where there was no dollar dance, but the bride went around to each and every table to say hello, and thank their guests for coming to the wedding and chat for a few minutes, in ADDITION to a receiving line.

Nobody has suggested that anybody has to participate. Nor has anyone suggested that it is the only way to chat with the bride or groom. Good lord, people, get over yourselves. In most cases, the folks at the wedding are accustomed to it, and find it normal. If not, why do you care?

I cannot stand people who say "It's tradition" because, no it isn't. For people that it is NOT a tradition for, it makes for a very uncomfortable situation.
The wedding that I went to where they had it, it was the first time I experienced it, We already gave the couple (who had been living together for 5 years) a $100 wedding gift, drove 1000 miles to the wedding destination, and paid over $250/night for 3 nights at the resort the wedding was held at. At that time, the cost of going to the wedding was a huge stretch money wise.
We spent so much money getting to the wedding and on the gift, I didn't think it was necessary to give them more money, so I DID NOT PARTICIPATE, I found out later they used the money all on booger sugar.

Great way to support the couple on their 'new life'!

macpatti

I am accustomed to the tradition here, and it has nothing to do with a cutural tradition anymore and more to do with a socially-sanctified way to make MORE money.

I think this goes deeper into the extravagance and display of wealth that weddings have become today. One should not aspire to rake in the money at a reception to cover the cost of the wedding. If the wedding couldn't be afforded, then it shouldn't have been thrown in that manner.

But hey, it's cultural, right? So it should always be accepted? I'll be sure to let the young men of the Hmong culture in Minneapolis area that even though their culturally expected practice of kidnapping the bride is illegal, because it is a cultural expectation, so we'll overlook it.

Or adultery. That's actually culturally expected. Or making idle bodily threats...that's actually culturally expected in some areas as well!

Wow. Judgmental much? You okay?