Dollar Dance

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  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    Charity is one thing... Greed is another :)
    You're better off just saying you don't understand the tradition than calling it greed. It is a very important part of a Mexican wedding reception.
  • histora
    histora Posts: 287 Member
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    Good grief! The dollar dance is not "tacky" if it's a tradition in the family of the bride or groom. Mexican families take it very seriously and often give their wedding gift in the form of money during this dance (I've seen $500 be given to the couple). I've never been to a wedding with a dollar dance and heard people sitting around saying how tacky it is.
    Exactly. It's a lack of understanding of the tradition and culture around the dance. I was married in a traditional Mexican wedding. 90% of the Mexican guests participated in the dance in lieu of gifts.

    Those unfamiliar with the dance, managed to enjoy it and participate, even with just a dollar. They didn't assume that we were pandering for money. They immersed themselves in something new to them -- and enjoyed themselves. Y'all should try it.

    Key was in lieu of gifts. In this area, guests are expected to help with the bridal shower, bring a gift, and then do the dollar dance. How much does a new couple need? o.O
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    Those unfamiliar with the dance, managed to enjoy it and participate, even with just a dollar. They didn't assume that we were pandering for money. They immersed themselves in something new to them -- and enjoyed themselves. Y'all should try it.
    It's also fun when guys line up to dance with the groom. And soooo cute when little kids line up to dance with the bride and groom. It's so much fun and captures a special moment between those dancing. It's not really so much about the money as it is the tradition. Some give $1 and some give much more.
  • histora
    histora Posts: 287 Member
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    Again with this idea that these sweet, fun events can't happen without a dollar dance. Little girls and boys can dance with the bride and groom without paying for it at most weddings. At my best friend's wedding, she forbid a dollar dance, and then made sure everyone knew that the bride and groom were more than okay with dancing with everyone...in fact, they expected it! She felt that so many had contributed before and during the wedding, that to ask for more money in the wedding was tacky.
  • chunkiedunker
    chunkiedunker Posts: 144 Member
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    its a very long time consuming tradition. i think it takes way to long. however i have been to weddings that do the dash for cash. where the bride and groom run around collecting money that guest hold up. who ever collects the most wins.

    i have been trying to convince my fiance to do 50/50 drawings at our wedding. i was at a wedding one time that did this. most people donated the cash back to the bride and groom. and it had alot of people excited. with my fiances family and their history of gambling it would probably pay for our honeymoon even without them donating cash back.

    but let it be known, no dollar dance at our wedding, or chicken or macarena, or train for us.

    also everyone knows of some people that they wouldn't want to dance with, that you will now be pimping yourself out to for a dollar.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    In this area, guests are expected to help with the bridal shower, bring a gift, and then do the dollar dance. How much does a new couple need? o.O
    I know that there's a lot of talk on MFP about exercising one's body, but one also needs to exercise their free will. Unless you have a gun to your head, I'm pretty sure that you can choose whether or not to participate in any of those activities. :bigsmile:
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
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    I dunno, you ask people to come to your wedding, buy you gifts and then ask for MORE money?

    I've known people to put out a birdcage/box for people to drop off cards that may/may not contain money.

    I live in Seattle, and have never seen this practiced...did see it at a wedding that was held in Montana.

    ^Its optional part of the reception and usually gives people a chance to talk to the bride or groom (who can be elusive to catch a moment with on wedding day). In my experience, its not a negative thing if you choose not do it. Its generally if you want to, do it, if you dont want to do it, you dont have to.

    Where I live, its pretty common at all wedding receptions.

    Safe guess on average wedding gift is $25-$35. Average cost of food per plate (figuring tax & gratuity) is $30-$40. Plus, consider if the couple hosts liquor at $175/keg....is an extra $1 that big of a deal. :wink:

    Not sure where you are that those are the averages (for gifts or for dinners) because that doesn't even come close to the norm where I am (try $50-100 for gift, and likely $150 per person) however, the host provides the hospitality as a consequence of inviting guests. It is not up to the guests to pay them back, so yes, $1 is a big deal. It's tacky - though I do understand it is an acceptable practice in many cultures and a tradition in many families, so I don't let myself get bent out of shape about it. Though I've only ever seen it done once.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    Again with this idea that these sweet, fun events can't happen without a dollar dance. Little girls and boys can dance with the bride and groom without paying for it at most weddings. At my best friend's wedding, she forbid a dollar dance, and then made sure everyone knew that the bride and groom were more than okay with dancing with everyone...in fact, they expected it! She felt that so many had contributed before and during the wedding, that to ask for more money in the wedding was tacky.
    Great for "your best friend". You're missing the point that it's tradition, as in the culture, for many people. So, it wasn't for your best friend and she didn't understand it. But, it's kind of rude to call another culture's tradition tacky.
  • scl552
    scl552 Posts: 8
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    Now that we're in the twenty-first century, the dollar dance is not what it used to be (a way to help the couple financially).. now it is a a "game" that the family can all play together...however it can leave hurt feelings if your guests are not acustomed to it. It One thing you don't want on your wedding day is for your guests to leave feeling like they're being viewed as open wallets.

    In the old days, the money dance was a way to provide a small amount of spending money, in a culture where wedding gifts were things like a bag of flour, a chicken or two, or a homemade chair. In today's culture, we give much more to our friends than that.

    The only time it is truly proper to have this at your wedding is if *already* exists in your family's culture. If your family has never done this, a couple should not introduce it, and the couple should not initiate it. The money dance is only properly organized by the guests, like your great aunt, or your best man, or grandmother, not by the people who will be receiving the money.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    Again with this idea that these sweet, fun events can't happen without a dollar dance. Little girls and boys can dance with the bride and groom without paying for it at most weddings. At my best friend's wedding, she forbid a dollar dance, and then made sure everyone knew that the bride and groom were more than okay with dancing with everyone...in fact, they expected it! She felt that so many had contributed before and during the wedding, that to ask for more money in the wedding was tacky.
    Did anyone suggest that guests could ONLY dance with the bride or groom during the Dollar Dance?

    Again, it appears that most folks criticizing the practice are unfamiliar with it.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    The only time it is truly proper to have this at your wedding is if *already* exists in your family's culture. If your family has never done this, a couple should not introduce it, and the couple should not initiate it. The money dance is only properly organized by the guests, like your great aunt, or your best man, or grandmother, not by the people who will be receiving the money.
    Excellent points. I've only ever seen it organized by other family members -- never by the bride or groom.
  • utahgirl247
    utahgirl247 Posts: 370 Member
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    hmmmm....kind of tacky in my opinion
  • MerBear30
    MerBear30 Posts: 31 Member
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    Good grief! The dollar dance is not "tacky" if it's a tradition in the family of the bride or groom. Mexican families take it very seriously and often give their wedding gift in the form of money during this dance (I've seen $500 be given to the couple). I've never been to a wedding with a dollar dance and heard people sitting around saying how tacky it is.
    Exactly. It's a lack of understanding of the tradition and culture around the dance. I was married in a traditional Mexican wedding. 90% of the Mexican guests participated in the dance in lieu of gifts.

    Those unfamiliar with the dance, managed to enjoy it and participate, even with just a dollar. They didn't assume that we were pandering for money. They immersed themselves in something new to them -- and enjoyed themselves. Y'all should try it.

    Key was in lieu of gifts. In this area, guests are expected to help with the bridal shower, bring a gift, and then do the dollar dance. How much does a new couple need? o.O
    .

    It's their wedding day. It's about celebrating with them and having fun. They are putting on a big production and spending quite a bit of money on it to celebrate their union with family and friends. All these traditions are about fun and celebrating! I seriously doubt the bride and groom are sitting there counting presents and trying to squeeze money out of people! It is their wedding day! It's all about them. They should be able to have whatever dance they want. And if you are invited you should be happy they included you in their big day. Not sitting there judging them for their choices in DJ or entertainment.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    Excellent points. I've only ever seen it organized by other family members -- never by the bride or groom.
    I've never seen it initiated by the bride or groom. In addition, I've neer seen names being written down of who doesn't participate so the bride and groom know who didn't give money. It's for fun!
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
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    im im picturing this right in my head, i think it would be a fun little thing to do..WHY would it be tacky ?? its helping a friend start out a new life with a fun dance in between:wink:
  • maybethistime70
    maybethistime70 Posts: 65
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    at my family's weddings...we usually had the guys lining up to dance with the groom along with the ladies. not because of sexual preference...just because they are all silly like that. if you want to do it, do it....your wedding your day.
  • histora
    histora Posts: 287 Member
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    I am accustomed to the tradition here, and it has nothing to do with a cutural tradition anymore and more to do with a socially-sanctified way to make MORE money.

    I think this goes deeper into the extravagance and display of wealth that weddings have become today. One should not aspire to rake in the money at a reception to cover the cost of the wedding. If the wedding couldn't be afforded, then it shouldn't have been thrown in that manner.

    But hey, it's cultural, right? So it should always be accepted? I'll be sure to let the young men of the Hmong culture in Minneapolis area that even though their culturally expected practice of kidnapping the bride is illegal, because it is a cultural expectation, so we'll overlook it.

    Or adultery. That's actually culturally expected. Or making idle bodily threats...that's actually culturally expected in some areas as well!
  • wcasie
    wcasie Posts: 299 Member
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    I always thought they were tacky.

    My wife and I always thought they were tacky too, so we didn't do one.

    We realized after the fact that it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.

    We really wish we had done it, looking back. Maybe just done it and not taken dollars or done dollars for the Humane Society or something.


    This is what they are about! you can make an announcement before hand if the $ is going to chariry. Though getting a chance to dance and have a moment of your time on your special day is usually worth the dollar!
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    I'm offended by the person who is offended that this 'tradition' is not 'nationally accepted'. Hello? Differences are what make people unique.
    I thought that America was supposed to be accepting of ALL people of ALL walks of life, not discriminate because we don't do some silly dance asking for money. I have been to weddings where there was no dollar dance, but the bride went around to each and every table to say hello, and thank their guests for coming to the wedding and chat for a few minutes, in ADDITION to a receiving line.
    Nobody has suggested that anybody has to participate. Nor has anyone suggested that it is the only way to chat with the bride or groom. Good lord, people, get over yourselves. In most cases, the folks at the wedding are accustomed to it, and find it normal. If not, why do you care?

    I cannot stand people who say "It's tradition" because, no it isn't. For people that it is NOT a tradition for, it makes for a very uncomfortable situation.
    The wedding that I went to where they had it, it was the first time I experienced it, We already gave the couple (who had been living together for 5 years) a $100 wedding gift, drove 1000 miles to the wedding destination, and paid over $250/night for 3 nights at the resort the wedding was held at. At that time, the cost of going to the wedding was a huge stretch money wise.
    We spent so much money getting to the wedding and on the gift, I didn't think it was necessary to give them more money, so I DID NOT PARTICIPATE, I found out later they used the money all on booger sugar.

    Great way to support the couple on their 'new life'!
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    I am accustomed to the tradition here, and it has nothing to do with a cutural tradition anymore and more to do with a socially-sanctified way to make MORE money.

    I think this goes deeper into the extravagance and display of wealth that weddings have become today. One should not aspire to rake in the money at a reception to cover the cost of the wedding. If the wedding couldn't be afforded, then it shouldn't have been thrown in that manner.

    But hey, it's cultural, right? So it should always be accepted? I'll be sure to let the young men of the Hmong culture in Minneapolis area that even though their culturally expected practice of kidnapping the bride is illegal, because it is a cultural expectation, so we'll overlook it.

    Or adultery. That's actually culturally expected. Or making idle bodily threats...that's actually culturally expected in some areas as well!
    Wow. Judgmental much? You okay?

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