Dollar Dance
Replies
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it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.
^^^This! My husband and I did it and I feel there is nothing wrong with it. Yes it is a change to get a few seconds with someone who came to your wedding. Let's face it weddings are busy and you might not always get around to see everyone so this makes it nice and fun to have a few seconds of time with the bride & groom. The $1 just makes it fun and like a game!
No, not this at all. Walk around and greet the guests at your reception, or have a (free) receiving line. (I feel a need to specify free because it seems like a lot of you here would probably post a sign with an admission charge at the front end if you felt you could get away with it.) Also, it's ridiculous to think that you're going to exchange all kinds of confidences and news with someone for the 30 seconds of the dollar dance. That excuse flies like a non-flying pig.0 -
Are you comparing a voluntary dance and gift with misogyny? Really? :huh:I mentioned this to the OP already. but I'll summarize.
Frankly I'm personally insulted that anyone would have a problem with this. Its pretty much a polish tradition in my family. The bride puts on a babushka, we play the dollar dance song. The maid of honor puts on an apron to collect the money. its a polka. and she dances with each guest that wants to. They give $1, but I've seen $20's and $100's in there. Usually there is a shot afterwards (yum).
Then everyone makes a big ring, or series of rings, to surround the bride. to keep the groom away. He has to break though and carries the bride away. Because you know. giving everyone a shot of vodka and then telling them pretty much to beat up on him is a good idea.
Besides. I don't care who you are. That money is going to be great on your honey moon. Just do it. Why not?.. Although I find the ones were you pay to dance with the groom a bit odd.
Personally, I'm insulted that you're invoking our shared Polish ancestry to justify hitting up guests for more money in the crass display of base materialism. Also, just because something's a "cultural tradition" doesn't mean it isn't horribly tacky, or, in worse cases, actively harmful. That's why cultural traditions change and various things that were once common become unacceptable (like, say, Mad Men-style misogyny).
Shame on you.
Nobody is being forced to participate. You may find it tacky, but "actively harmful"? Really? Good grief...
No one is being forced to participate, no. Unfortunately, for the guests that don't have the money, ability, or interest to engage in the flaunting for greed, they sit in the chairs and and amuse themselves while the bride panders for more money.0 -
I think people are missing the point and assuming it's about "asking your guests for cash". It's called a dollar dance, not a donation dance. If you are a guest and don't want to dance, you are not required. If you are offended by $1, then you need to remove the large parcel from your backside.
This is a tradition. I mentioned people had fun getting to dance with the bride and groom as say a few words at the weddings I'VE attended. They've had one at every wedding I've attended where it was a young couple and first time marriage. I've never seen it done for a second or third marriage.
Once again, I'm not even engaged. Just shocked at the negative responses and surprised this isn't common across the country.
If you didn't want both sides, why in the world did you phrase this in the form of a question?
Also, I find it interesting that you're not even planning a wedding and you're already deciding how to hit up your guests for cash. Impressive.
Really? REALLY? I was dicussing this with others and decided to ask opinions on the subject. I was shocked to get many rude replies from people such as yourself assuming someone is looking for money!0 -
I've been to a few weddings where they did this, I didn't find it tacky at all.
But that's just me, I don't have a stick up........0 -
My husband & I did not have a traditional wedding. We were married by an internet ordained minister and the ceremony was outside. I wrote the entire ceremony. It consisted of part Pagan handfasting ceremony, part Catholic blessing of the hands. Our best man, matron of honor and my uncle read a poem by Mya Angelou, a sonnet by Pablo Neruda and an Apache wedding blessing. The entire ceremony was just about LOVE. We honored my husband's Native American heritage by reading the wedding blessing. During the reception, we played McNamara's band for his Irish heritage. We played the Beer Barrel Polka because I'm part Polish and we live in Northeast PA. We did the dollar dance during the reception. We included the history behind it in our wedding programs for those out-of-state guests who were not familiar with it. (Every wedding here in NEPA has it.) For us, it was a chance for any guest who wanted to to get a chance to talk to me for a minute or so before we left the reception. It was nice to be able to get to hug some of the guests I didn't really get a chance to talk to.
Looking back, my wedding was awesome. I'm so glad we personalized it and tailored it to who were are and that we celebrated our families.
And that is why we did it and why I am so glad we did what we did
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It's a dollar. It's a symbolic gesture -- a sign of support for the couple. Get over it.I'm failing to see the connection between sharing time with the guests and them having to pay money to be honored with time spent with bride and/or groom.
Greed spans many cultures, but that doesn't make it a good thing, imho.
So, what are the gifts for, if not a sign of support and goodwill towards the newlyweds? When did a hug and kind words in the receiving line stop being support?0 -
In the Mexican tradition, it's not about hitting up the guests for cash. In the Mexican tradition, the wedding is financed by "padrinos" -- family and friends that want to help make the wedding happen. In most cases, the wedding and/or honeymoon would not be possible. I love being able to chip in for the photography, DJ, food, or whatever. Being able to make a small contribution to help a young couple have a wonderful experience is a pleasure. The gifts are appreciated, whether one dollar or twenty.Also, I find it interesting that you're not even planning a wedding and you're already deciding how to hit up your guests for cash. Impressive.0 -
I think people are missing the point and assuming it's about "asking your guests for cash". It's called a dollar dance, not a donation dance. If you are a guest and don't want to dance, you are not required. If you are offended by $1, then you need to remove the large parcel from your backside.
This is a tradition. I mentioned people had fun getting to dance with the bride and groom as say a few words at the weddings I'VE attended. They've had one at every wedding I've attended where it was a young couple and first time marriage. I've never seen it done for a second or third marriage.
Once again, I'm not even engaged. Just shocked at the negative responses and surprised this isn't common across the country.
If you didn't want both sides, why in the world did you phrase this in the form of a question?
Also, I find it interesting that you're not even planning a wedding and you're already deciding how to hit up your guests for cash. Impressive.
Really? REALLY? I was dicussing this with others and decided to ask opinions on the subject. I was shocked to get many rude replies from people such as yourself assuming someone is looking for money!
Well, what do you expect to reap from a DOLLAR dance, if not money?0 -
I didn't want one at my wedding but apparently someone told the dj to go ahead with it because it happened anyway. It is your wedding, the choice is (theoretically) yours.0
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Not everyone wants a boring receiving line. Also, nobody is forced to participate, and it's not the only opportunity one might have to chat with the couple of honor. In my experience, it's been a special experience. It's been a chance to voluntarily make a small gift and dance with a loved one. A chance to chat privately. Nothing is exchanged other than warm feelings.
No, not this at all. Walk around and greet the guests at your reception, or have a (free) receiving line. (I feel a need to specify free because it seems like a lot of you here would probably post a sign with an admission charge at the front end if you felt you could get away with it.) Also, it's ridiculous to think that you're going to exchange all kinds of confidences and news with someone for the 30 seconds of the dollar dance. That excuse flies like a non-flying pig.
it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.
^^^This! My husband and I did it and I feel there is nothing wrong with it. Yes it is a change to get a few seconds with someone who came to your wedding. Let's face it weddings are busy and you might not always get around to see everyone so this makes it nice and fun to have a few seconds of time with the bride & groom. The $1 just makes it fun and like a game!
Not everyone is greedy, and has ulterior motives, Champ.0 -
Only the guests with sticks up their *kitten* see it as pandering for money.No one is being forced to participate, no. Unfortunately, for the guests that don't have the money, ability, or interest to engage in the flaunting for greed, they sit in the chairs and and amuse themselves while the bride panders for more money.0 -
I think people are missing the point and assuming it's about "asking your guests for cash". It's called a dollar dance, not a donation dance. If you are a guest and don't want to dance, you are not required. If you are offended by $1, then you need to remove the large parcel from your backside.
This is a tradition. I mentioned people had fun getting to dance with the bride and groom as say a few words at the weddings I'VE attended. They've had one at every wedding I've attended where it was a young couple and first time marriage. I've never seen it done for a second or third marriage.
Once again, I'm not even engaged. Just shocked at the negative responses and surprised this isn't common across the country.
If you didn't want both sides, why in the world did you phrase this in the form of a question?
Also, I find it interesting that you're not even planning a wedding and you're already deciding how to hit up your guests for cash. Impressive.
Really it's just a freaking dollar. And u don't have to give it if u don't want to. Chill out!0 -
I didn't realize that everyone is incapable of dancing with the bride and/or groom throughout the rest of the reception and can only make contact for 30 secs during the dollar dance.
Why doesn't the happy new couple make the rounds of the reception and dance?0 -
Tacky in my opinion.. In most cases the guest have already attended a bridal shower which cost $$ and showed up at your wedding with another gift or a card with $$. At some point you need to know when to say when. I attended a wedding of a pet lover who said all $ dance cash was going to their local shelter... That was nice in my opinion Charity is one thing... Greed is another 0
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I found it tacky as well. To spend time with our guest we walked from table to table and spoke with each and every person. The reception is not about making money- it is about celebrating the start of your life as a married couple.
BTW- the Chicken Dance and Makarena (sp) were BANNED from our wedding.0 -
I think people are missing the point and assuming it's about "asking your guests for cash". It's called a dollar dance, not a donation dance. If you are a guest and don't want to dance, you are not required. If you are offended by $1, then you need to remove the large parcel from your backside.
This is a tradition. I mentioned people had fun getting to dance with the bride and groom as say a few words at the weddings I'VE attended. They've had one at every wedding I've attended where it was a young couple and first time marriage. I've never seen it done for a second or third marriage.
Once again, I'm not even engaged. Just shocked at the negative responses and surprised this isn't common across the country.
If you didn't want both sides, why in the world did you phrase this in the form of a question?
Also, I find it interesting that you're not even planning a wedding and you're already deciding how to hit up your guests for cash. Impressive.
Really? REALLY? I was dicussing this with others and decided to ask opinions on the subject. I was shocked to get many rude replies from people such as yourself assuming someone is looking for money!
Well, what do you expect to reap from a DOLLAR dance, if not money?
I didn't even say I would even call mine a dollar dance. I'd be happy with a dance and a shot or something. I actually would find it fun to get a monemt with people I may miss while wandering around my reception greeting and thanking people for coming.
I completely forgot this other reason I've participated, this gives people a chance to introduce themselves to a bride or groom if they've only met the other spouse or are a friend of the family.0 -
One gesture does not negate the other. nobody is being forced to participate, bring a gift, or do anything. Good grief!
So, what are the gifts for, if not a sign of support and goodwill towards the newlyweds? When did a hug and kind words in the receiving line stop being support?
It's a dollar. It's a symbolic gesture -- a sign of support for the couple. Get over it.I'm failing to see the connection between sharing time with the guests and them having to pay money to be honored with time spent with bride and/or groom.
Greed spans many cultures, but that doesn't make it a good thing, imho.0 -
It's YOUR wedding. Do what you want.
Edit after I read some responses: Why are you even worried about it if you're not even engaged? Lol0 -
I was at a wedding on Friday and they did one (first one I had seen at a wedding before) and everyone got really into it. Aunts, uncles, and parents were giving $5 to the younger cousins to go dance - friends all got involved. Everyone had a great time!0
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If you have gone to weddings in the past and have enjoyed the Dollar Dance, then go for it. I have never herd of it, maybe because up here we would have to call it The Lonnie Dance and that just doesn't sound right to me for a wedding.
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I don't think it is tacky or wrong and I would have had one if I had a wedding.0
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I think that anything that brings joy is a plus! And it gives your guests the opportunity to give you an extra blessing!
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Are you comparing a voluntary dance and gift with misogyny? Really? :huh:
Nobody is being forced to participate. You may find it tacky, but "actively harmful"? Really? Good grief...
I'm guessing, from your spelling mistakes and general lack of command of basic grammar, that you're not familiar with the philosophical term "reductio ad absurdum," where an extreme example is used to illustrate a point in the more minor case.
You are a gimme pig. Acceptance is the first step to change, as MFP is so fond of telling us.
Whoa. I think it's kind of tacky, too, but there's no need to stoop to personal attacks.0 -
Every wedding I've been to has one of these.
It's so much fun! Everyone is so happy for the couple and wants to pitch in.
It's usually done near the time they leave, so it's like we're sending them off.0 -
Are you comparing a voluntary dance and gift with misogyny? Really? :huh:
Nobody is being forced to participate. You may find it tacky, but "actively harmful"? Really? Good grief...
I'm guessing, from your spelling mistakes and general lack of command of basic grammar, that you're not familiar with the philosophical term "reductio ad absurdum," where an extreme example is used to illustrate a point in the more minor case.
You are a gimme pig. Acceptance is the first step to change, as MFP is so fond of telling us.
Youv got a rielly hi hoarse dont yu?0 -
Someone using the term "gimme pig" is calling me out on spelling and grammar? :laugh:
I'm guessing, from your spelling mistakes and general lack of command of basic grammar, that you're not familiar with the philosophical term "reductio ad absurdum," where an extreme example is used to illustrate a point in the more minor case.
Are you comparing a voluntary dance and gift with misogyny? Really? :huh:
Nobody is being forced to participate. You may find it tacky, but "actively harmful"? Really? Good grief...
You are a gimme pig. Acceptance is the first step to change, as MFP is so fond of telling us.
You're welcome to find the dance tacky, but suggesting that it could be "actively harmful" is ridiculous.0 -
I grew up and got married in Indianapolis....I didn't have one (and neither have the majority of what seems like 100s of midwestern weddings I've attended), and I think they're incredibly tacky.0
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One gesture does not negate the other. nobody is being forced to participate, bring a gift, or do anything. Good grief!
So, what are the gifts for, if not a sign of support and goodwill towards the newlyweds? When did a hug and kind words in the receiving line stop being support?
It's a dollar. It's a symbolic gesture -- a sign of support for the couple. Get over it.I'm failing to see the connection between sharing time with the guests and them having to pay money to be honored with time spent with bride and/or groom.
Greed spans many cultures, but that doesn't make it a good thing, imho.
No one is being forced, and I acknowledged that. I also pointed out that every reason people have given for having one, is easily acheived via non-monetary means. Other than the idea of making more money, either for honeymoon or other...0 -
So, what are the gifts for, if not a sign of support and goodwill towards the newlyweds? When did a hug and kind words in the receiving line stop being support?
^^^THIS
I'm offended by the person who is offended that this 'tradition' is not 'nationally accepted'. Hello? Differences are what make people unique.
I thought that America was supposed to be accepting of ALL people of ALL walks of life, not discriminate because we don't do some silly dance asking for money. I have been to weddings where there was no dollar dance, but the bride went around to each and every table to say hello, and thank their guests for coming to the wedding and chat for a few minutes, in ADDITION to a receiving line.
Wedding gifts are traditionally to help a new couple start out their lives together, but with more and more couples living together before marriage, wedding gifts aren't as needed (the couple likely already has toasters and flatware). If someone wants to give the couple money, then fine, they can give the couple money. I don't think a dance is needed.0 -
They aren't. Nobody suggested that it was the only way to have a moment with the bride or groom. It does make for a special moment, though.I didn't realize that everyone is incapable of dancing with the bride and/or groom throughout the rest of the reception and can only make contact for 30 secs during the dollar dance.0
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