Dollar Dance

princessage117

I don't think it is tacky or wrong and I would have had one if I had a wedding.

faefaith

I think that anything that brings joy is a plus! And it gives your guests the opportunity to give you an extra blessing!

Contrarian

Are you comparing a voluntary dance and gift with misogyny? Really? :huh:

Nobody is being forced to participate. You may find it tacky, but "actively harmful"? Really? Good grief...

I'm guessing, from your spelling mistakes and general lack of command of basic grammar, that you're not familiar with the philosophical term "reductio ad absurdum," where an extreme example is used to illustrate a point in the more minor case.

You are a gimme pig. Acceptance is the first step to change, as MFP is so fond of telling us.

Whoa. I think it's kind of tacky, too, but there's no need to stoop to personal attacks.

chauncyrenayCHANGED

Every wedding I've been to has one of these.

It's so much fun! Everyone is so happy for the couple and wants to pitch in.

It's usually done near the time they leave, so it's like we're sending them off.

_Timmeh_

Are you comparing a voluntary dance and gift with misogyny? Really? :huh:

Nobody is being forced to participate. You may find it tacky, but "actively harmful"? Really? Good grief...

I'm guessing, from your spelling mistakes and general lack of command of basic grammar, that you're not familiar with the philosophical term "reductio ad absurdum," where an extreme example is used to illustrate a point in the more minor case.

You are a gimme pig. Acceptance is the first step to change, as MFP is so fond of telling us.

Youv got a rielly hi hoarse dont yu?

GasMasterFlash

Are you comparing a voluntary dance and gift with misogyny? Really? :huh:

Nobody is being forced to participate. You may find it tacky, but "actively harmful"? Really? Good grief...

I'm guessing, from your spelling mistakes and general lack of command of basic grammar, that you're not familiar with the philosophical term "reductio ad absurdum," where an extreme example is used to illustrate a point in the more minor case.

You are a gimme pig. Acceptance is the first step to change, as MFP is so fond of telling us.

Someone using the term "gimme pig" is calling me out on spelling and grammar? :laugh:

You're welcome to find the dance tacky, but suggesting that it could be "actively harmful" is ridiculous.

red01angel

I grew up and got married in Indianapolis....I didn't have one (and neither have the majority of what seems like 100s of midwestern weddings I've attended), and I think they're incredibly tacky.

histora

I'm failing to see the connection between sharing time with the guests and them having to pay money to be honored with time spent with bride and/or groom.

Greed spans many cultures, but that doesn't make it a good thing, imho.

It's a dollar. It's a symbolic gesture -- a sign of support for the couple. Get over it.

So, what are the gifts for, if not a sign of support and goodwill towards the newlyweds? When did a hug and kind words in the receiving line stop being support?

One gesture does not negate the other. nobody is being forced to participate, bring a gift, or do anything. Good grief!

No one is being forced, and I acknowledged that. I also pointed out that every reason people have given for having one, is easily acheived via non-monetary means. Other than the idea of making more money, either for honeymoon or other...

WickedGarden

So, what are the gifts for, if not a sign of support and goodwill towards the newlyweds? When did a hug and kind words in the receiving line stop being support?

^^^THIS

I'm offended by the person who is offended that this 'tradition' is not 'nationally accepted'. Hello? Differences are what make people unique.
I thought that America was supposed to be accepting of ALL people of ALL walks of life, not discriminate because we don't do some silly dance asking for money. I have been to weddings where there was no dollar dance, but the bride went around to each and every table to say hello, and thank their guests for coming to the wedding and chat for a few minutes, in ADDITION to a receiving line.

Wedding gifts are traditionally to help a new couple start out their lives together, but with more and more couples living together before marriage, wedding gifts aren't as needed (the couple likely already has toasters and flatware). If someone wants to give the couple money, then fine, they can give the couple money. I don't think a dance is needed.

GasMasterFlash

I didn't realize that everyone is incapable of dancing with the bride and/or groom throughout the rest of the reception and can only make contact for 30 secs during the dollar dance.

They aren't. Nobody suggested that it was the only way to have a moment with the bride or groom. It does make for a special moment, though.

pants77

it's not about the dollars, it's about giving everyone you've invited a chance to have a private minute with you.

^^^This! My husband and I did it and I feel there is nothing wrong with it. Yes it is a change to get a few seconds with someone who came to your wedding. Let's face it weddings are busy and you might not always get around to see everyone so this makes it nice and fun to have a few seconds of time with the bride & groom. The $1 just makes it fun and like a game!

No, not this at all. Walk around and greet the guests at your reception, or have a (free) receiving line. (I feel a need to specify free because it seems like a lot of you here would probably post a sign with an admission charge at the front end if you felt you could get away with it.) Also, it's ridiculous to think that you're going to exchange all kinds of confidences and news with someone for the 30 seconds of the dollar dance. That excuse flies like a non-flying pig.

We thought the exact same thing, that it's not necessary and that it's tacky.

Then at our wedding, we were halfway through making the rounds after dinner and people from my wife's side that we hadn't gotten to yet were getting up and leaving. Your grandfather might not want to dance to "Rumpshaker" with you and your friends, but might want to have a minute with you to tell you he loves you. Etc.

From our experience, I can say that a reception line or going around to tables is not the same as having a private one-on-one with everyone who has something supportive to say to you but doesn't necessarily want to say it in a crowded line or around a crowded table.

Things are flying 10,000 miles a minute at weddings. If we'd done some kind of dollar dance, it would have made our wedding better.

Berberena33

We did this at our wedding (in MN). I can see both sides, it can take forever if a lot of people line up and it can be a really party killer but at the same time it gives everyone a chance to dance with the bride/groom and give them their personal congrats! Also it is a great way to make a little extra cash - we paid for our honeymoon hotel for 5 nights with the cash we made from the dollar dance alone! And people don't have to do it if they dont want. Also maybe playing some more upbeat music or swing music instead of all the slow songs would make it a little bit less of a party killer.

There are a lot of fun variations out there - my cousin auctioned off her Garter Belt and let me tell you people were getting together in groups to collect money to outbid the uncle or cousin that was bidding against them! I think she got almost $600 just for her garter belt.... it was awesome to see!

Also steeling the grooms shoes and having a ransom amount for them is something I have seen - once enough money was raised his shoes were returned!

Chubbyhulagirl

Ive never heard of this before. Where im from (Hawaii) you have your first dance and afterward during the second song, etc guests will come up and stick a bill on the bride or groom and the opposite has to pick it up with their mouth. (Say a guest tucks a dollar behind the ear of the bride. The groom has to go fish it out with his mouth. No hands. And vice versa.) The bridesmaids are usually standing by with a basket for the money. This is a local tradition that ive seen at every wedding ive ever been to. Even on weddings where the couple didnt put it into their program and just did a first dance, towards the end of the song people began walking up. Nobody thinks its tacky. Its just a fun tradition, brings a little laughter and the couple get a headstart on a joint savings account.
We wont have one in our program but it is a guarantee our friends and family will be walking up during the first dance. Its just the way it is here. They will even get offended if we refuse to take their money. So different strokes for different folks I guess.

If your dollar dance is as common as ours, I say go for it. You know your guests so you know if they will think its great or tacky.

macpatti

Good grief! The dollar dance is not "tacky" if it's a tradition in the family of the bride or groom. Mexican families take it very seriously and often give their wedding gift in the form of money during this dance (I've seen $500 be given to the couple). I've never been to a wedding with a dollar dance and heard people sitting around saying how tacky it is.

Now, if a couple says, "Hey, I've heard of a dollar dance where we can get cash, so let's do it so we have money for our honeymoon" and it's never been a tradition in their family or amongst their friends, then that would be tacky. But, I also think a cash bar at a wedding is tacky, too.

GasMasterFlash

I'm offended by the person who is offended that this 'tradition' is not 'nationally accepted'. Hello? Differences are what make people unique.
I thought that America was supposed to be accepting of ALL people of ALL walks of life, not discriminate because we don't do some silly dance asking for money. I have been to weddings where there was no dollar dance, but the bride went around to each and every table to say hello, and thank their guests for coming to the wedding and chat for a few minutes, in ADDITION to a receiving line.

Nobody has suggested that anybody has to participate. Nor has anyone suggested that it is the only way to chat with the bride or groom. Good lord, people, get over yourselves. In most cases, the folks at the wedding are accustomed to it, and find it normal. If not, why do you care?

mandydoll

I'm from Australia so i don't think its tacky at all, actually sounds pretty fun.

irisheyez718

I live in Texas and I've never been to a wedding that didn't have one!

MommaKit79

DOLLAR DANCE is a traditional dance. My dad was a DJ (in New Jersey) and everyone ALWAYS wanted a Dollar Dance. I havent been to many weddings that DIDNT have them. We had one at our wedding and we actually had a great time. it is actually pretty fun because my girlfriends also danced with me and my husbands friends danced with him as well. It was really fun! But, to each their own!

GasMasterFlash

Good grief! The dollar dance is not "tacky" if it's a tradition in the family of the bride or groom. Mexican families take it very seriously and often give their wedding gift in the form of money during this dance (I've seen $500 be given to the couple). I've never been to a wedding with a dollar dance and heard people sitting around saying how tacky it is.

Exactly. It's a lack of understanding of the tradition and culture around the dance. I was married in a traditional Mexican wedding. 90% of the Mexican guests participated in the dance in lieu of gifts.

Those unfamiliar with the dance, managed to enjoy it and participate, even with just a dollar. They didn't assume that we were pandering for money. They immersed themselves in something new to them -- and enjoyed themselves. Y'all should try it.

joeltroll

We had one at our wedding. We gave the cash to charity. I believe it is more about getting a personal moment with each guest to thank them for coming and to give/get personal well wishes. I guess it's an Indiana/Midwest thing though.