Is this jealousy or intuition?

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Replies

  • TexasRattlesnake
    TexasRattlesnake Posts: 375 Member
    Relationships are like investing.

    If I put money into an investment that looks like it's going south, I don't put more money into it. I take what I have left and get the hell out and find a more worthwhile investment.

    Let garbage lay with garbage.
  • lilybear84
    lilybear84 Posts: 57
    Why would he take his EX out to dinner for her birthday?? he should be taking YOU out to dinner..I would ditch his *kitten* and get yourself a nice man
  • sofakingawesome69
    sofakingawesome69 Posts: 149
    I am still friends with almost all of my Ex Girlfriends. My wife knows this and is ok with it because I am an honest and nice guy. Those relationships did not work out as such, but we are still friends. Of course, I would never take one of them to dinner, but I think that if you are just dating it is really not that big of a deal. Plus if something were to happen, you just learned everything you need to know and can move on. It is just whether you can be ok with it happening or not, if not then you may as well move on. If you can, maybe you can go along too. Sounds like it might be fun.
  • Dropitlikeitshotchic
    Dropitlikeitshotchic Posts: 32
    Wow I love you comment..... why do we allow someone to treat us this way. When you see the signs...MOVE ON... You are a beautiful woman that deserves someone that would say... I am not sleeping with her becuase we are together and I care about you. MOVE ON....NEXT!
  • leahrochelle
    leahrochelle Posts: 218
    Okay this MAY BE just me.
    but when It comes to dating guys, after that many dates.
    my logic is that if he really wants to be with me and try to build a relationship...
    He we be with ME. only me.
    if he wants to date around and possibly sleep with other women....its not worth my time.
    (again maybe just me but I dont date just to go on dates)



    Girl you deserve someone who will be commited to you.
    and from the sound of it... he just doesnt look like that guy.
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
    Let him go. It is too early not to be able to trust someone. Don't waste your time. Dating is an interview process. He failed. Tell him you will keep his application on flie for 90 days.

    Best advice ever... lol
  • bergsangel
    bergsangel Posts: 131
    Of course you have a prejudice...she's a stripper and he's a guy! :wink: I'm not even trying to be rude here, but MOST men would be incapable of being friends with a women whom they've slept with that are strippers (lol...in my limited experience). It sounds like you have a different idea of what the relationship is than he does. Maybe you need to chat about that. :flowerforyou:
    I always wonder why women put up with things while dating that they wouldn't like in a man long-term, unless you're not interested in long-term?
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    Do you date other people?
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    If you have had the exclusive talk and he still made the comment (we can't because she isn't coming over to my house :noway: ) Move on.

    In my experience, if any one is still in that much contact with an ex...it isn't completely over. :flowerforyou:
  • xandra
    xandra Posts: 101 Member
    From your description of your relationship it sounds like you two are just casually dating. Meaning you are each free to do what you want with whomever you want. If you desire a committed monogomous relationship you should discuss this with him and come to an agreement. If you have not clearly stated your requirements then shame on you.
  • blair_bear
    blair_bear Posts: 165
    If you are the kind of girl who has no problem with exes or other girls in general I would chalk it up to intuition.
    I don't have a problem with exes or flirty girls with my husband but there is always that rare occasion/person( maybe 2 people in the 15 years since we've been together) that I just don't trust, intuition. One I was spot on to not trust! The other he works with and I think she knows, I'll cut a b***h, haha j/k. I don't talk to him about it because I trust HIM and there is really little he can do about it so I don't want him to feel uncomfortable at work or like I am keeping my eyes on the situation (even though I am haha). I just figure if she goes too far he'll stop it and not say anything to me or I'll catch it and put her in her place.
  • dawnp1833
    dawnp1833 Posts: 264 Member
    You deserve better. 21 lbs lost, right? Take your smoking hot body out and find a guy who isn't a d-bag. There's a guy out there who will treat you right. This isn't him.
  • ladyjeanne57
    ladyjeanne57 Posts: 39 Member
    Ok, this is probably going to sound very cynical. First...are you sure that you are in a relationship that allows for jealousy? Ten dates with a month off? How can you be sure he did not have sex with someone else during that time? And did you discuss that this relationship would be exclusive? If not, then in his mind it may not be.

    To take this further...I know men can be a bit dense, however, this man is not showing much respect to you in the way he handled it. Or perhaps he is using it as a chance to draw his own lines and they don't seem to be along the lines you are drawing.

    It does not matter that she is a stripper who had a threesome with him and his ex, or simply someone he works with...his comment was just wrong.

    Don't waste your time on jealousy. Instead spend your energy on deciding if this man is someone who will give you what you deserve...someone who will support you and RESPECT you as you deserve.
  • futuresize8
    futuresize8 Posts: 476 Member
    I am a big "go with your gut" kind of girl.

    It sounds like your gut is telling you that you don't like several things here - his continued involvement with his ex, the fact that his ex is a stripper and that he's been forthcoming about his sexual history with her, that he didn't give you any comfort when you were cool and said dinner was fine but you're not fine with them having sex.

    If ya don't like it, be scarce. Not mean, but don't pursue. If you want to have a casual date with him here or there and regard him as nothing serious, you're allowed, but stay in control.

    Or just dismiss him altogether. No matter what, listen to your radar. You're a smart girl!
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    Sounds to me like you 2 are in a non-committed relationship and he is being perfectly honest with you.

    Perhaps you feel that you are more serious than he does, but 10 dates over 3 months isn't the sort of number where you should be getting so clingy. I don't even know how you can get to being "on and off" over a 3 month period; that stage of dating is mostly on and off anyway.

    It sounds to me like he was trying to drop the hint that you guys aren't in an exclusive relationship.

    Maybe it will go that way, maybe it won't. It's up to you to decide how you feel about that. I'm guessing 'not good'.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Not cool. He should at least invite you.

    ^ This......Threesome #2 with the stripper.....
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    Hmmmm... the one question the OP continues to avoid is the elephant in the room...

    Did you guys agree to be EXCLUSIVE???

    I don't think he sees it that way, but I think the OP does. This is a HUGE problem because there are feelings there within a potentially (because we don't know for sure) "undefined" relationship which brings with it unrealistic expectations from the one who has the feelings. It's not a good place for either person to be.
  • AlmstHvn
    AlmstHvn Posts: 376 Member
    Is his name Sean, coz this sounds awfully familiar. I thought we were "dating" - he was just fooling around. No fun when the 2 involved aren't even on the same playing field. :cry:

    Good luck to you!
  • Vincentsz
    Vincentsz Posts: 407 Member
    So far every answer I have heard here sounds like these two are married already. They are dating people!

    10 dates. REALLY?

    Moving towards a commitment! REALLY?

    How the hell can you truly know who someone is before a couple of years of watching their patterns?

    That's why this country has an incredible divorce rate. No one is willing to take the time to honestly get to know someone. Everyone wants to stuff there capture in to a personal mold of what they want!

    it's sad!
  • dawnhart77
    dawnhart77 Posts: 52 Member
    They are an ex for a reason... I would move on.

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