Is this jealousy or intuition?

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Replies

  • missmuse06
    missmuse06 Posts: 50
    Run.


    Unless you want to sit up at night wondering where he is and if he slipped and fell into someones vagina.
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
    It's neither jealousy or intuition. It's a big red flag telling you this dude is a loser!

    You have a son; be careful of the messages he is receiving about how to treat women.

    I don't care what year it is - wait until you get married to have sex!

    When you are older and wiser, you will start to get things in the Bible that you never got before.

    You will look back on your life and realize that if you only listened to God's Word instead of man, your life would have been a whole lot better.

    (Let the bashing begin - I'm out of here!)
    Blah blah blah.

    Religion is like a penis - it's okay to have one, but please don't wave it around in public and don't ever ram it down anyone's throat without their permission.

    I've had plenty of "pre-marital sex" (most people just call it "sex"), including with my wife before we were married. It's not a "sin" and I'm not going to "hell".

    Sex is a whole lot of fun and it feels pretty good.

    If you do it right, it's painful and slightly humiliating.
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
    not sure... 50/50 on this one.. run.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Blah blah blah.

    Religion is like a penis - it's okay to have one, but please don't wave it around in public and don't ever ram it down anyone's throat without their permission.

    I've had plenty of "pre-marital sex" (most people just call it "sex"), including with my wife before we were married. It's not a "sin" and I'm not going to "hell".

    Sex is a whole lot of fun and it feels pretty good.

    If you do it right, it's painful and slightly humiliating.
    :flowerforyou:
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    It's neither jealousy or intuition. It's a big red flag telling you this dude is a loser!

    You have a son; be careful of the messages he is receiving about how to treat women.

    I don't care what year it is - wait until you get married to have sex!

    When you are older and wiser, you will start to get things in the Bible that you never got before.

    You will look back on your life and realize that if you only listened to God's Word instead of man, your life would have been a whole lot better.

    (Let the bashing begin - I'm out of here!)

    Wow, reminds me of my grandmother. Pulling the Bible out and using it in EVERY conversation, whether it's relevant or not. *sigh*
  • Schraudt814
    Schraudt814 Posts: 496 Member
    OP- intuition or jealousy- whatever you want to call it...you're unsettled about it. And that is a red flag. If you're weirded about it and he has this kind of attitude about it, it probably isn't going to get much better. Good luck!
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
    It's neither jealousy or intuition. It's a big red flag telling you this dude is a loser!

    You have a son; be careful of the messages he is receiving about how to treat women.

    I don't care what year it is - wait until you get married to have sex!

    When you are older and wiser, you will start to get things in the Bible that you never got before.

    You will look back on your life and realize that if you only listened to God's Word instead of man, your life would have been a whole lot better.

    (Let the bashing begin - I'm out of here!)
    Blah blah blah.

    Religion is like a penis - it's okay to have one, but please don't wave it around in public and don't ever ram it down anyone's throat without their permission.

    I've had plenty of "pre-marital sex" (most people just call it "sex"), including with my wife before we were married. It's not a "sin" and I'm not going to "hell".

    Sex is a whole lot of fun and it feels pretty good.

    If you do it right, it's painful and slightly humiliating.

    Ok, it's not alright for her to express her belief in public, but it's ok for you to tell her not to express her belief.
    In essence, the only view that is valid is yours and it's the only one that is allowed to be spoken. She offered advice that she thinks would help the op. There was nothing wrong with that.

    Maybe you should work on expressing your views intelligently, minus the 8th grade weak attempt at humor, rather than try to silence someone with a different set of beliefs.

    Funny thing is, I'd bet the house you're one of those people who consider themselves to have an open mind.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    If he was serious about having any chance at a relationship with you, he would NOT be taking his ex out.
    If you want a long term relationship, this is not ok, and it doesn't sound like he is in that frame of mine.

    personally, I would take that as a HUGE red flag and move on.
  • MrsRadder
    MrsRadder Posts: 207 Member
    You have been on 10 dates...with a man who has 3 kids with a stripper...who is still dating her.....
    WTH sister.... tell him to forget your number.

    You can option #1 Move on NOW

    or

    Option #2 Start practicing your surprised face for the Jerry Springer show.
  • meglynne1987
    meglynne1987 Posts: 382 Member
    I think its time to move on
    agreed.

    dont say anything,if you do, you'll feel silly and regret it.

    he could be telling you to get a reaction,but that's not important because either way,his made his intentions towards you clear, just move on.

    when people show you who they are ,believe them.

    Well said!
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
    Ok, it's not alright for her to express her belief in public, but it's ok for you to tell her not to express her belief.
    In essence, the only view that is valid is yours and it's the only one that is allowed to be spoken. She offered advice that she thinks would help the op. There was nothing wrong with that.

    Maybe you should work on expressing your views intelligently, minus the 8th grade weak attempt at humor, rather than try to silence someone with a different set of beliefs.

    Funny thing is, I'd bet the house you're one of those people who consider themselves to have an open mind.

    The woman is in an open relationship with a man who is also having one with another woman. What about this does the Bible apply to? It doesn't. She just took an opportunity to interject religion to try to make other people feel bad about the way they live their lives. Religion is good for that.

    I hope you're not too sophisticated for my "8th grade humor". Maybe you should try having an open mind instead of being so pretentious.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Ok, it's not alright for her to express her belief in public, but it's ok for you to tell her not to express her belief.
    In essence, the only view that is valid is yours and it's the only one that is allowed to be spoken. She offered advice that she thinks would help the op. There was nothing wrong with that.

    Maybe you should work on expressing your views intelligently, minus the 8th grade weak attempt at humor, rather than try to silence someone with a different set of beliefs.

    Funny thing is, I'd bet the house you're one of those people who consider themselves to have an open mind.

    The woman is in an open relationship with a man who is also having one with another woman. What about this does the Bible apply to? It doesn't. She just took an opportunity to interject religion to try to make other people feel bad about the way they live their lives. Religion is good for that.

    I hope you're not too sophisticated for my "8th grade humor". Maybe you should try having an open mind instead of being so pretentious.

    I'm sure she wasn't trying to make people feel bad about the lives they're living. In fact I'm pretty sure what she was trying to say was; Having casual sex can be destructive. Incidentally that's what her religion teaches.

    Which... is true. It can be.

    Really. Relax. She was sharing her view of things, that's all. Nobody needs to take it seriously just like no one needs to take your advice seriously. It only becomes a big deal when some douche makes it a big deal.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Ok, it's not alright for her to express her belief in public, but it's ok for you to tell her not to express her belief.
    In essence, the only view that is valid is yours and it's the only one that is allowed to be spoken. She offered advice that she thinks would help the op. There was nothing wrong with that.

    Maybe you should work on expressing your views intelligently, minus the 8th grade weak attempt at humor, rather than try to silence someone with a different set of beliefs.

    Funny thing is, I'd bet the house you're one of those people who consider themselves to have an open mind.

    The woman is in an open relationship with a man who is also having one with another woman. What about this does the Bible apply to? It doesn't. She just took an opportunity to interject religion to try to make other people feel bad about the way they live their lives. Religion is good for that.

    I hope you're not too sophisticated for my "8th grade humor". Maybe you should try having an open mind instead of being so pretentious.

    Don't you know? Every conversation can be made into a religious guilt trip for some. I deal with it every day at home. :/
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    OP- intuition or jealousy- whatever you want to call it...you're unsettled about it. And that is a red flag. If you're weirded about it and he has this kind of attitude about it, it probably isn't going to get much better. Good luck!

    ITA. If its intuition, you need to run. If you're jealous, it's because you feel for him something stronger than he seems to feel in return, you need to walk away. So it's really just about how fast you should go, walk away or run away
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    OP - Sorry, I haven't read all the pages so I don't know if you've come to a decision or not.

    1. We're VERY casual observers who haven't met you or this man you're dealing with. We're not privy to your conversations, your relationship or any of the little details you may not have shared. So we can't really give you well-informed advice.

    2. From a very shallow perspective it kind of looks like this guy doesn't consider your relationship exclusive. Maybe it's time to 'have the talk' to clear the air. If you're not okay with a fellow who's going to sleep around outside of a committed relationship then he's not the right guy for you. If you ARE okay with people sleeping around outside of commitment then you can't judge him for doing just that.

    3. Good luck.
  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
    Casual or not, telling you he's taking his x GF stripper out for her special day is disrespectful. I would have been so offended! If you're interested in him at all he just told you he doesn't feel the same way with that. He's stringing you along. It's about respect and PS, if he was REALLY into you he would be all over you and shut the rest of the female "noise" out. You deserve better. I'd send him a text next time he makes contact first and respond, "It's been fun but I'm not really interested in guys who spread themselves so thin so good luck no hard feelings!"

    Yuk.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Teell him straight out that if he is seeing her you aren't interested, you will soon see what his decision is!!

    Basil


    ^ This! If it bothers you then tell him.

    Even with your clarifications my previous statement stands. If exes are in that much contact it isn't completely over. :flowerforyou:
  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
    OMG! I shoulda read the whole thread! Lol wow, if you're ok with all that then I will just awkwardly back away....

    You have been on 10 dates...with a man who has 3 kids with a stripper...who is still dating her.....
    WTH sister.... tell him to forget your number.

    You can option #1 Move on NOW

    or

    Option #2 Start practicing your surprised face for the Jerry Springer show.
  • _Sara_A_
    _Sara_A_ Posts: 113 Member
    My boyfriend and I have an agreement, I can not go for breakfast, lunch, supper, or coffee just me and another guy, and he can not go for breakfast, lunch, supper, or coffee just him and another female. That way it reduces the risk of jealousy or paranoia. IF either of us wants to get together with someone from the opposite sex we have to include each other so we can see that there's nothing to be worried about. IF it's a group setting then that is different, and we're fine with it, we just don't want each other to be "dating" someone else.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    absolutely not.. 100% ditch him.
  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
    think you are just hung up on the whole "stripper" thing. i don't think the guy is an *kitten*, he was upfront. the comment, i would just ignore. you mentioned that you don't care if he hangs out with his ex which i think is cool on your part, most girls would not even tolerate that. the "stripper" part concerns you? listen, strippers are regular people too they are not walking around all super hyped up sex machines AND have you seen this girl? Cause, not all strippers are these super hot chicks either. AND, he is your bf's ex. Must be reason f& that he is with you now. So, they have a friendship now, think that says a lot about a person. i hate it when guys i date bash their ex gfs.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
    Ok, it's not alright for her to express her belief in public, but it's ok for you to tell her not to express her belief.
    In essence, the only view that is valid is yours and it's the only one that is allowed to be spoken. She offered advice that she thinks would help the op. There was nothing wrong with that.

    Maybe you should work on expressing your views intelligently, minus the 8th grade weak attempt at humor, rather than try to silence someone with a different set of beliefs.

    Funny thing is, I'd bet the house you're one of those people who consider themselves to have an open mind.

    The woman is in an open relationship with a man who is also having one with another woman. What about this does the Bible apply to? It doesn't. She just took an opportunity to interject religion to try to make other people feel bad about the way they live their lives. Religion is good for that.

    I hope you're not too sophisticated for my "8th grade humor". Maybe you should try having an open mind instead of being so pretentious.

    No, she was not trying to make other people feel bad, she said her life would be better if she lived according to the bible. What's wrong with that? Tell me what religion or secular set of beliefs would ever gain traction if people kept it to themselves? There is nothing wrong with telling someone that they could improve their life if they follow a certain way of life. Offering religion/faith as a means to improve a persons situation shows more compassion than hate. What would have been selfish would have been for her to keep silent out of fear of ridicule.


    You tell me to get an open mind when you are telling someone who holds a belief that you don't agree with to shut up. Stop being a hypocrite. She has every right to offer advice as you do.
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
    You have been on 10 dates...with a man who has 3 kids with a stripper...who is still dating her.....
    WTH sister.... tell him to forget your number.

    You can option #1 Move on NOW

    or

    Option #2 Start practicing your surprised face for the Jerry Springer show.

    REALLY?!?! He has 0 kids.... go back and read again
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    3 months of casual on and off dating doesn't scream 'committed relationship' to me. I think he's given you as much honesty as he should be expected to with your relationship being where it is.

    This. You're not monogamous until you actually have the talk, and both agree to be monogamous. Has this happened yet? Or you just hoping?

    I would say any man who can pull threesomes and date strippers knows *exactly* what he's doing.


    You obviously have not seen the strippers in this town. :sick: Depending on the establishment having all of his teeth could have him pulling threesomes. :indifferent:
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    Sorry but on again off again on again does not seem like a relationship. Sorry but it sounds like he's got you where he wants you and knows that if he dumps you all he has to do is say "but baby I miss you! I haven't been with any one since we were together!" and you'll get all misty and happy and take him back.

    As for his taking his ex out for her birthday be happy that they're friends and civil! Hell my husband used to visit his ex wife when he was on business in the state she lived in. They used to talk in the phone every now and then. Didn't concern me one bit. I think (as someone else here pointed out ) its the fact that the ex is a stripper that has your panties in a bunch. If you are that concerned then tell him he can't go.
  • jillica
    jillica Posts: 554 Member
    You don't address it! YOU MOVE ON!

    Have some self respect.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    You have been on 10 dates...with a man who has 3 kids with a stripper...who is still dating her.....
    WTH sister.... tell him to forget your number.

    You can option #1 Move on NOW

    or

    Option #2 Start practicing your surprised face for the Jerry Springer show.

    REALLY?!?! He has 0 kids.... go back and read again

    I think she confused the "threesome" comment with the number of children he (does not) have. :laugh:
  • Nikki_42
    Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member

    No, she was not trying to make other people feel bad, she said her life would be better if she lived according to the bible. What's wrong with that?

    Not to get in between your debate...but what if you change the wording? "Your life would be better if you were...gay...white..straight...black...etc." She just happened to use the word religious/live according to the bible. That appears to be why the other poster took offense. Because it was offensive the way it was thrown out there.
  • Nikki_42
    Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member
    You don't address it! YOU MOVE ON!

    Have some self respect.

    :flowerforyou:
  • lexingtonjane
    lexingtonjane Posts: 11 Member
    It's neither jealousy or intuition. It's a big red flag telling you this dude is a loser!

    You have a son; be careful of the messages he is receiving about how to treat women.

    I don't care what year it is - wait until you get married to have sex!

    When you are older and wiser, you will start to get things in the Bible that you never got before.

    You will look back on your life and realize that if you only listened to God's Word instead of man, your life would have been a whole lot better.

    (Let the bashing begin - I'm out of here!)

    Wow, reminds me of my grandmother. Pulling the Bible out and using it in EVERY conversation, whether it's relevant or not. *sigh*

    She must be so proud! I feel sorry for her as a grandmother.