Is this jealousy or intuition?
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Why is it that as soon as people start dating they gain Hooks! What's wrong with someone maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with others when not actually being "in wedlock". Haven't you ever heard the old proverb?
Biblically speaking, there is a lot wrong with premarital sex, but I wont get into that here. Most women replying on here have enough respect for themselves and their bodies that they wont allow men to use them and lose them.0 -
Why is it that as soon as people start dating they gain Hooks! What's wrong with someone maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with others when not actually being "in wedlock". Haven't you ever heard the old proverb?
Biblically speaking, there is a lot wrong with premarital sex, but I wont get into that here. Most women replying on here have enough respect for themselves and their bodies that they wont allow men to use them and lose them.
That's why I stated if you are having sex with him (IDK) meaning I don't know (personal choice) but if you are hopefully it's safe sex!0 -
My jealousy knows no bounds!
I'd have a major major problem with this. MAJOR. And that's an understatement really. It could be completely innocent but in the back of my mind I'd still be thinking "stripper... dinner.... ex...... stripper....."
I mean WHY would you take an ex to dinner for her birthday ESPECIALLY when you're dating someone else? Makes absolutely no sense to me. Are they pretty close friendship wise? Have they known eachother for a long time?
It sounds very fishy to me. Talk to him about it because it'll just eat away at you.
This.0 -
So far every answer I have heard here sounds like these two are married already. They are dating people!
10 dates. REALLY?
Moving towards a commitment! REALLY?
How the hell can you truly know who someone is before a couple of years of watching their patterns?
That's why this country has an incredible divorce rate. No one is willing to take the time to honestly get to know someone. Everyone wants to stuff there capture in to a personal mold of what they want!
it's sad!
It's sad that you are being serious.
I think both men and women would have a problem being in a casual relationship for two years before officially dating.0 -
WOAH!! OP - do NOT listen to these women telling you to run!
First off, you guys are casual.... think about that for a minute. It doesn't matter who he is taking to dinner because you guys are not in an exclusive relationship. On the flip side, if you want an exclusive relationship, tell him. Be honest. Guys do not like mind games. Uncomfortable with him taking out the ex (stripper that likes 3somes - SCORE!)? Tell him! You cannot expect someone to act like they are exclusive if you two have not made that mutual agreement. Totally unfair.
Xoxo0 -
The thing that stuck out most to me is that "you were off for a month." Ding ding that doesn't sound normal and neither does on and off dates for 3-4 months. He's not wanting anything committal. Sounds like he's just having fun. Someone to want him while he dilly-dallies around. I'm not trying to be rude to him or you. I think you need someone who will actually want to be with you and not take 4 months of dates and talk about taking an ex out. To me, that is an instant red flag.
*btw when I say committal, I don't mean talk about marriage and settling down. I mean focusing on you actually becoming a couple and not taking you on "dates" for several months while still taking his ex out for dinner.
I'd tell him he needs to *kitten* or get off the pot.0 -
If sleeping around bothers you, I'd find a companion who isn't going to sleep around.
-wtk
This.0 -
I would like to clarify somethings.
1) The first time we dated was for about two months. I, after two months asked him to meet my son. He was not ready. I took this as him not wanting to be serious. HOWEVER, when I broke it off I did break his heart. He did really care for me, he just wasn't ready to meet my son. He did contact me weeks later and tell me he would like to take me and my son to the park. But I was dating this other guy... sooo I did hurt him, and he did want something serious.
2) We both dated while we were off. I dated a guy I've known for a very long time and we got physical together. He on the other hand dated, but nothing phsyical. I know this because the first time we were intimate when we started dating again, he whispered in my ear that he hadn't been with anyone since me. No reason to sprout lies, since he has always been honest.
3) It's not that I don't trust him. We have talked about where we would like this relationship to go. We just aren't "there" yet. He's been honest enough to say he's cheated before (on this chick that's he taking to dinner!!) because she cheated on him. I've been cheated on... so I think that all plays into how I feel.
So having said that... does it change any opinions.
I think I'm just going to call him and talk to him. Unfortunately we don't have the opportunity to meet up before Friday when he takes the ex to dinner. I appreciate all the opinions and advice. No clue yet where to go from here. But I know I deserve a good man. Based on how the conversation goes, I know I will be able to figure it out!0 -
Perhaps he was just trying to make you feel better by pointing out that it was not physically possible (or at least not convenient) for them to have sex. He might have thought that this would be even more reassuring than him just telling you that they wouldn't have sex.
Also, I don't see why her occupation matters (or why you felt the need to mention they've had threesomes in the past). I'm a statistician, and at times in my life have been at least as slutty as most people assume strippers are.
It sounds as if you *are* uncomfortable with him hanging out with his ex--you should talk to him about this, but make it about you, and your feelings, not his behavior.0 -
oh i'd dump him , all night long while their out having fun , you'll be wondering what the hell their up to ...... i dont care if your just dating , who wants sloppy seconds !!!0
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The thing that stuck out most to me is that "you were off for a month." Ding ding that doesn't sound normal and neither does on and off dates for 3-4 months. He's not wanting anything committal. Sounds like he's just having fun. Someone to want him while he dilly-dallies around. I'm not trying to be rude to him or you. I think you need someone who will actually want to be with you and not take 4 months of dates and talk about taking an ex out. To me, that is an instant red flag.
I'd tell him he needs to *kitten* or get off the pot.
if I may say so... this is a great answer. go with this!0 -
Why is it that as soon as people start dating they gain Hooks! What's wrong with someone maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with others when not actually being "in wedlock". Haven't you ever heard the old proverb?
Biblically speaking, there is a lot wrong with premarital sex, but I wont get into that here. Most women replying on here have enough respect for themselves and their bodies that they wont allow men to use them and lose them.
there's a lot in the bible about a lot of things that we still do anyway...let's use our own moral compass instead of relying on what we are told from a book written 1400 years ago.
Premarital sex is not some big 'sin', and dating multiple people at the same time is not wrong as long as anyone involved isn't under the illusion this is exclusive.
As long as everyone uses protection then there should be no issues as long as all are consenting, mature adults.
also - sex is a 2 way thing - it isn't men using women. The fun goes both ways...0 -
So far every answer I have heard here sounds like these two are married already. They are dating people!
10 dates. REALLY?
Moving towards a commitment! REALLY?
How the hell can you truly know who someone is before a couple of years of watching their patterns?
That's why this country has an incredible divorce rate. No one is willing to take the time to honestly get to know someone. Everyone wants to stuff there capture in to a personal mold of what they want!
it's sad!
It's sad that you are being serious.
I think both men and women would have a problem being in a casual relationship for two years before officially dating.
Really, I was in a casual relationship for 7 years before wedlock, now happily married for over 17 YEARS!!!!! I lived my life before committing it to another! Getting to know the other person I will spend the REST OF MY LIFE WITH!!!!!!!
That's why I don't look elsewhere NOW!!! I didn't miss out on anything, which coming from a man, is why most men CHEAT!!!
They feel they are MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING!
Getting married is the beginning of the COMMITMENT!!!0 -
Why is it that as soon as people start dating they gain Hooks! What's wrong with someone maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with others when not actually being "in wedlock". Haven't you ever heard the old proverb?
Biblically speaking, there is a lot wrong with premarital sex, but I wont get into that here. Most women replying on here have enough respect for themselves and their bodies that they wont allow men to use them and lose them.
Yea but it also says if kids curse at their parents, the kids should be put to death.0 -
I think you should try changing who he is as a person. Look at it as a challenge. Relationships always work best when you try to change the person early on instead of just searching for compatibility. I mean, duh, relationships are HARD WORK! Most of the hard work comes from changing them into what you want them to be. I think you should just stick it out and work harder at molding him instead of moving on to find someone else. That's just my two cents.0
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So I am dating this guy. We've been dating on and off for about 3 months, roughly 10 dates. We have been off for the past month, but are back on currently. We went out yesterday and he informed me that he is taking his ex (who happens to be a stripper, who he had a threesome with) out to dinner for her birthday on Friday. Am I just jealous, or is my intuition kicking in here? Maybe I'm jealous just because her profession. If she were an accountant, would I be feeling the same?
I told him straight up, as long as you aren't giving her birthday sex. BUT instead of telling me I have nothing to worry about, he says "We can't. She's not coming to my house." Am I over thinking that statement? Are guys just that stupid that that is the first thing that came into his head?
And finally... how can I talk to him about this concerning me without sounding whiny, jealous or complaining. I don't want to care if he hangs out with an ex. I just feel very concerned about the situation. And I would like to address it to him without attacking him.
Please help me ... :ohwell:
I suspect the on again/off again deal is because he doesn't want anything serious with you. And who cares if she's a stripper--that's nothing to be jealous of. The real question isn't necessarily is he an idiot (and he most certain is or just really young and stupid because he couldn't come up with a better response) but why is he taking an ex-girlfriend to dinner? And what, he should get brownie points for coming clean to you about it? That's f*ed up. Bottom line--your intuition is right. You're an attractive woman and all guys aren't stupid--he's stupid. If you want something serious, he's a waste of your time.0 -
Big hugs. I love you MFP forums. Even on vacation you always make my day better. No shortage of stupid here.
My magic 8-ball says: All signs point to popcorn.0 -
Maybe you could just talk him into another threesome. You, him & the stripper. That way, no one is left out.0
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Maybe you could just talk him into another threesome. You, him & the stripper. That way, no one is left out.
I love this girl!!!
Not too hard not to soft just right!!!0 -
Big hugs. I love you MFP forums. Even on vacation you always make my day better. No shortage of stupid here.
My magic 8-ball says: All signs point to popcorn.
Thanks for proving my point that men are stupid0
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