Online Cheating

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Replies

  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
    IMO, it's cheating if you hide it. When you do things you don't want your spouse/SO to know about, there's a problem.

    I think we're overgeneralizing. There's a boundary line, and exactly where it's at is a little different for each of us. Not all online flirters are cheaters.
  • Nefetete
    Nefetete Posts: 343 Member
    Lol why is this even a question, someone who wants to cheat will do so online, offline or whatever.  It ur profile and u have all the control who to befriend and who not to. 
    - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    Reminded me of the movie "When Harry meet Sally" I think Harry said the exact same. Ohhh I should watch that movie again 
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    I have a women only rule who sometimes joke about sexy stuff. So What.
    But I do have 1 male friend.. Who never says anything remotely flirtish to me.... Hes completely respectful and very focused in his workout and nutrition routine.... There are a few gay men who I'd like to ask to be my friend here, being that my best male friends throughout life have been gay. And theres never any sexual threats with that. And.... They are fun, positive, help me with my belly dancing, wardrobe, hair.

    I did accept this one males request, when I first started here on MFP... And it turned out he was a major womanizer, and he had all these chicks for friends (With boobie pictures) and he flirted with all of them.. I felt I didn't want him in my friends list, out of respect for my husband. I recently got two requests from guys here.. One.. The shirtless cowboy... The other one... He was shirtless and trying to look sexy... Both had NO NOTE whatsoever to say why they may want to be friends. No thanks.... This stuff here about what I eat and my eating/losing weight struggles, is for me to share only with friends I feel comfortable with... Again..... Its not Match.com here. Thats on a different site... Haaaah.
  • laurenleighlugo
    laurenleighlugo Posts: 21 Member
    I don't have any guy friends on here. Its better not to. Just girls for support. That's really all you need! :)
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    It's like friends any where else. I have male friends and female friends. So does he. Why does having a friend of the opposite sex automatically mean you're cheating?

    The guys that are on my friend list are just as supportive as my female friends, maybe even more so.
  • TonyM1984
    TonyM1984 Posts: 267
    Im a flirt! And I think its so cool that we can flaunt what we have worked for on here rather than go somewhere and actually act on your desires or thoughts! Ladies what's up? JK! haha!
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,079 Member
    having friends of the opposite sex not a problem. talking about anything you wouldn't want your S.O. to hear/see is a problem. you know if your being inappropriate or not
  • TonyM1984
    TonyM1984 Posts: 267
    I don't have any guy friends on here. Its better not to. Just girls for support. That's really all you need! :)

    Aww too bad cause we're from the same city!
  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    That's quite sad really... I have a lot of Male MFPs that and they're all here for the right reasons and not perverts or anything. I have my boyfriend on my MFP list but I didn't use to and he didn't care either because we trust each other. Likewise he has lady MFPs. Don't accept people who are clearly sharking... (semi naked photos and all girl MFPs) and delete those who it wasn't so obvious but it becomes apparent! Happy days!
  • paleirishmother
    paleirishmother Posts: 242
    if your "flirt" wt someone that you don't know online , it seems kind of sad.
  • clintbritt3
    clintbritt3 Posts: 123
    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!


    ^^^^^AGREE^^^^^
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    My male friends on here are nothing but respectful and supportive. Almost like people...
  • sharpeoplepc
    sharpeoplepc Posts: 84 Member
    My two most motivating MFP friends are men! They give me lots of encouragement. There is nothing sexual about it.
  • 75Juniper
    75Juniper Posts: 376
    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    There are many men like that, but there are some decent, kind men out there who get lumped in with the jerks just because they are male. I also don't agree that men and women cannot be friends without sex coming up. Not everyone is looking to hook up.
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
    I do tend to feel more comfortable in the company of men too and always have, never been the type to have loads of girl friends... My profile makes it clear that I am happily married and as long as that is respected, it's ok.

    Same here. I have more girlfriends now than I EVER have in all my life!! And it's only because I have 5 kids... (When you have kids in school, you tend to get to know their friends and their friends' moms and dads. So you naturally build friendships.)

    But prior to children, most of my friends were guys. Not exactly sure why but guessing it's probably because most of my hobbies are not exactly what the majority of women (at least in this area) are fond of.

    And, no, I never slept with any of my guy friends. Ever.
  • Shannon2714
    Shannon2714 Posts: 843 Member
    Yep, I have lots of both. They are all sexy and either sex can flirt with me and get me all horny and ready to jump my HUSBAND!!! I really dont think he cares. :blushing: :tongue:

    Oh yeah, we can just be friends too, if that's all you want. :flowerforyou:

    And this is just one more reason why I love you passionately, Beth! :love:
  • seXxXkitten
    seXxXkitten Posts: 13
    I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all - it's not like it's real life... it's all in fun - why not flirt a little... personally, I wouldn't consider it cheating... it's totally harmless, right?
  • jerbear1962
    jerbear1962 Posts: 1,157 Member
    My best friend other than my wife is a female and I usually get along with females better than males. I'm completely faithful to my wife and she knows about me being on this site and knows most of my friends are female. We have no worries about the other being unfaithful. I know not all guys are like me but I know how I am.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all - it's not like it's real life... it's all in fun - why not flirt a little... personally, I wouldn't consider it cheating... it's totally harmless, right?

    It's only harmless until someone catches a virus.
  • seXxXkitten
    seXxXkitten Posts: 13
    I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all - it's not like it's real life... it's all in fun - why not flirt a little... personally, I wouldn't consider it cheating... it's totally harmless, right?

    It's only harmless until someone catches a virus.

    Too true - too true.. ha ha
  • amrita0286
    amrita0286 Posts: 75
    I don't really understand the question. Mainly because being friends with either sex on an online forum does not mean that you are or will cheat on your spouse. If someone wanted to cheat, they would whether it be online or in real life.

    So I guess I am saying I will be friends with anyone as I am happily married and plan to stay that way. <3

    Agree :)
  • BazAbroad
    BazAbroad Posts: 248
    Hmmm,
    U said on here, well, on here I add both as friends, but naturally get on better with the ladies,
    thats just part of who I am, am the same in real life,
    I did have a female stalker once on another site, that was crazy she had like 10 accounts to keep talking to me as different people, it was a real shock when it all came out,
    there r some real crazies out there.
    When after some 17 years my marriage failed, I was at the time talking to a lady on the net,
    we were both free to meet up and see if there was more to the friendship than just online flirting,
    We met up and got married 2 years later, we have been together now for a further 2 years.
    What I will say is,
    I fell in love with the person b4 I had physically seen her, b4 we had even swapped pictures I was hooked by our connection.
    One of the reasons she kept on talking to me at the beginning was that I never asked her for a photo, be it a rude one or normal, not like all those other blokes.
    We laugh when the subject of online relationships comes up, or even if someone asks how we met.
    I have a few girls on here that I share comments with but we do not flirt.
  • SPARTA1013
    SPARTA1013 Posts: 60 Member
    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    WOW, just wow. Men and women can't be friends without sex coming into it? Maybe you can't have males friends without wanting to jump them, but not everyone is like that.

    I do not WANT to jump any male friends, the only man I'm interested in 'jumping' is my husband.
    I'll repeat again that I was just saying what I had experienced in the past, 3 out of 4 guys who have wanted to add me as a friend were pretty suggestive - FACT! I have no desire to be friends with any guys even to help aid them on the weight loss, if they want female friends there will be plenty of other women out there to support them.

    This seems incredibly closed minded. You won't even consider helping an individual who may need your support??? Think about this for a second, you're fearful tat there MAY be an innuendo so you shut off all support systems to anyone with a penis. That's as closed minded as you can possibly get if you ask me, and very selfish.
  • SPARTA1013
    SPARTA1013 Posts: 60 Member
    I couldn't have said it better myself.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    I've always had guy friends in HS and college and at the workplace. I act more like a guy, I joke around like a guy. I feel more comfortable with guy friends. I have a couple of female friends (inclduing my sister). I don't like the cattiness of most women!

    I am happily married to my husband of 24 yrs and NEVER cheated on him! We have a best friend relationship and he knew that I am more of a guys type of woman.

    MFP is probably the first place that I've had as many female friends as I do and they all are cool and super supportive.
  • ReallyConfused
    ReallyConfused Posts: 20
    I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all - it's not like it's real life... it's all in fun - why not flirt a little... personally, I wouldn't consider it cheating... it's totally harmless, right?

    That's what I thought too. I started chatting online about two years ago. I have been married many years and would have never thought once of cheating. My husband is considerate, supportive, and a really nice guy. He was my first love. I went head over heels and never even noticed another man until I started doing the online thing.

    Very quickly though things got out of control online. I have six different serious relationships online. They all started as flirting and innuendo, but now I care about these other men. :( And I hate myself for craving the excitement and attention. I have shared pics with all of them and they have shared back. Some shared WAY too much, but it was so interesting. They all know I am married.

    I dont want to lose my sweet husband, but these relationships are so exciting. They say and do things I have never experienced. I tried to secretly introduce some of it back to my real life bedroom, but my husband is traditional/restrained and put the kabosh on different positions and stuff. I don't know how to describe what we have other than routinely adequate.

    Chatting online is feeling like an addiction. I can't tell my husband that I want to play and flirt online because it would kill him. I'm trying to go back to how I was before, but i'm struggling since now that I see all the things available, the routine isnt getting it done. I never say no to my husband, but it is so incredibly routine that I sneak glances at the clock to see how much longer before he is done. He is definitely picking up on my increased computer time. He has even joked that he is a little jealous of the computer.

    I wish I had known how bad and trapped I feel now when I started flirting online. I am in trouble, guilty and scared. It doesn't feel so harmless to me right now.
  • rocksyraeis
    rocksyraeis Posts: 194
    I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all - it's not like it's real life... it's all in fun - why not flirt a little... personally, I wouldn't consider it cheating... it's totally harmless, right?

    That's what I thought too. I started chatting online about two years ago. I have been married many years and would have never thought once of cheating. My husband is considerate, supportive, and a really nice guy. He was my first love. I went head over heels and never even noticed another man until I started doing the online thing.

    Very quickly though things got out of control online. I have six different serious relationships online. They all started as flirting and innuendo, but now I care about these other men. :( And I hate myself for craving the excitement and attention. I have shared pics with all of them and they have shared back. Some shared WAY too much, but it was so interesting. They all know I am married.

    I dont want to lose my sweet husband, but these relationships are so exciting. They say and do things I have never experienced. I tried to secretly introduce some of it back to my real life bedroom, but my husband is traditional/restrained and put the kabosh on different positions and stuff. I don't know how to describe what we have other than routinely adequate.

    Chatting online is feeling like an addiction. I can't tell my husband that I want to play and flirt online because it would kill him. I'm trying to go back to how I was before, but i'm struggling since now that I see all the things available, the routine isnt getting it done. I never say no to my husband, but it is so incredibly routine that I sneak glances at the clock to see how much longer before he is done. He is definitely picking up on my increased computer time. He has even joked that he is a little jealous of the computer.

    I wish I had known how bad and trapped I feel now when I started flirting online. I am in trouble, guilty and scared. It doesn't feel so harmless to me right now.


    This is what happens when you blur the line between reality and excuses. Cheating is cheating it doesnt matter if its on the other end of a keyboard just like it doesnt matter if its on the other end of a phone call or text, personally all of you who are saying "its harmless" are giving yourself excuses to cheat.

    Talking about sex, sending pictures, sexting, flirting, they are all the beginning of cheating as they WILL escalate. You FLIRTED with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend before you were engaged in a relationship. Its the beginning of a sexual relationship, goodluck to you and your husband but you nee to tell him its not fair of you to keep this hidden especially when your sending pictures...
  • rocksyraeis
    rocksyraeis Posts: 194
    Now if you have a very open sexual relationship and you both like to indulge in the pleasures of sexual experiences with other people by all means continue not to cheat as its not cheating if your SO is ok with it.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    People hide behind the fact its online like behind the computer there isnt a person they can in fact meet. Above all else, It shows a complete lack of respect for the relationship
  • frankensteinsbride28
    frankensteinsbride28 Posts: 50
    Having friends of the opposite sex is fine (I've lots of them). i would never cheat. If I wanted to I would leave my partner beforehand. I have however removed people from my FL who got overly flirtatious in the past. I think its the Pirate brings out the worst in people ;)

    Really depends on you. If you know you can resist temptation / are not interested and you know your SO is not the insanely jealous type then its all good.

    I completely agree! My two best friends in this whole world are males, so I have no problem finding male friends on this site and keeping it strictly friendly.

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