Online Cheating

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  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    I kind of sort of see the OP's point...my husband and I were just platonic friends before we started dating. And I have rarely had a strange man approach me just to be my 'friend'. It's usually to hit on me, and some have been very pushy about it even after I tell them I am married. Creepers! That said, I do have male friends, like guys I know from high school, college, work, hobby groups, etc. and my husband has female friends also. But neither of us has a very very close friend of the opposite sex like we were to each other before we became romantically involved...

    BUT

    I trust my husband, and he trusts me. It would never occur to us to assume the other was cheating or planned to cheat on a fitness site. Really?? How do you go from discussing calories and exercise to having sex and/or some sordid emotional entanglement?? Some of you women seem so afraid that's going to happen, why is that? Some guy flirts with you and your panties come off? Seriously, I'm not understanding this viewpoint at all. If you have strong morals and values no one make you cheat on your spouse, no one can tempt you.

    It's all about establishing boundaries and blocking creepers off at the pass. Just like in real (offline) life when some man hits on you, you say I'm married and walk away. Some guy hits on you online, you say I'm married and walk away. Defriend and block him, it's as simple as that.
  • Missklara
    Missklara Posts: 283 Member
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    I agree! I would be nuts if my boyfriend had female friends on internet and flerted with them!
    It's not cheating but i don't accept flirting of any kind

    What is considered flirting to you?

    i'm usually bad in giving examples but... It's the same like flirting in real life. Some intimate jokes, saying to other that he/she is cute blabla, see? I'm bad in giving examples :) but.. everyone knows what flirting is right?

    It's not like i'm against friends of opposite sex, don't get me wrong! But we're talking about the next level here
  • Missklara
    Missklara Posts: 283 Member
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    I agree! I would be nuts if my boyfriend had female friends on internet and flerted with them!
    It's not cheating but i don't accept flirting of any kind

    How YOU doin?
    :wink:

    haha =)
    nice try
  • Killing_Perfection
    Killing_Perfection Posts: 79 Member
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    I don't see what's the big deal with friends of the opposite sex. I'm quite a flirt sometimes without even intending to and I spend lots of time with guys, simply because my interests are fairly different from those of most women. It's also a matter of behaviour. I don't want someone to reprimand me about my manners when I'm in a small round of friends, drink beer, and burp or run into objects and swear like a sailor. I think there are times for manners and there are times to laugh at the insults you throw at each other - many women my age don't see it that way.

    If there's anything problematic, it's the behaviour of the person trying to cheat, and that has little to do with whether that person has plenty of opposite sex friends or same sex friends (or the other way around if applicable). That, and overly jealous partners.

    People should just draw their lines, explain it to their partner, be done with it. They will either respect it or they won't and you'll have to accept that you were wrong in your picture about that someone and should consider changes if it's getting too troublesome, be it leaving the relationship, making compromises, getting some therapy, sharpening your collection of knive--.... you get it.

    If your partner wants to cheat, there's nothing you can do to prevent it. The best security systems have weak points and all it'll do is making your partner feel trapped - and some react badly to that.
  • msmith2020
    msmith2020 Posts: 365 Member
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    Let's see.. I start MFP for weight loss reasons. I don't friend guys for their looks. If your my friend its bc you have succeed in your goals and you motivated me to succeed in mine.

    I have occasionally flirted a little, I think, but it wasn't intentional. I truly believe that FB (being purely a social sight with no common interest or goals) is susceptible to strangers flirting and teetering on the edge of it being more wrong than right.. (befriending random ppl, personal messages, etc) however when I get on MFP (though I see it happening on here) when I friend someone, asking or accepting a request It is only b/c that person has similar goals, or has achieved a goal I am currently working on and they can help me succeed as well.. MFP is slowly becoming match.com to some ppl.. that's the truth too..

    I think online cheating happens all the time and they can turn around and go home to their spouses b/c their is no physical woman or man to feel guilty about.. its their call... wrong as it ,may be..
  • misslady72
    misslady72 Posts: 37 Member
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    Interesting thread. I am here for support for weight loss. I have friends male and female. Nothing has been said or even implied. I actually want more male friends on my list because I need to gain some insight about weights..have to start incorporating that into my routine. Other than that, its a online fitness support website! Nuff said
  • FuneralDiner
    FuneralDiner Posts: 438 Member
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    My Mrs has messaged other woman in my FL saying I've seen you supporting MY HUSBAND, which was a polite back off I think.
    That's ridiculous.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Hearing all the stories about people cheating on their spouses, what is your take on having friends of the opposite sex at MyFitnessPal?

    You definitely shouldn't do it. All of the boob/butt shots on here it's pretty much cheating just by looking at them.
  • rocksyraeis
    rocksyraeis Posts: 194
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    The approach I take is that if a person is naturally a social butterfly, its going to be that way in all areas of their life - not just online. These kinds of people are going to attract the opposite sex no matter what because of their outgoing nature... It doesn't necessarily mean that they're a cheater or prone to infidelity. They are who they are.

    If you choose to date or be with a person like that, its just something you accept about their personality. If you're insecure then this personality type isnt a match for you. You'll just end up stressing yourself out and making their lives miserable. A waste of time for the both of you!

    I am not and never have been the jealous type, and I believe people should be allowed to be who they are without others trying to change them because they're judgemental, insurece or controlling. In the end a person is going to do what they want to do anyways and you're not going to stop them. If they want to be with you, they will be. If they want to cheat on you and leave you, they dont need the Internet to do it.

    Basically in the end its about knowing yourself and who you're a good match for. Choose wisely and these types of issue wont even be a problem.

    :flowerforyou:
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    You either are the cheating type or you don’t. And if you are, you gonna cheat even with the greeter at the supermarket, you don’t have to be online.

    As far as online cheating, it depends on what you think cheating is. There is nothing wrong with talking to people. Even flirting to a degree is natural for human being and its not cheating.

    My husband knows that I am on this site, he knows I talk to people and he is not worried about it. He knows Im not gonna go F*** anybody. And my husband goes on the sites that interest him and talks to people. I know he is not going to run away with any of them.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    I am cheating with all the hot guys on my FL.......
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    I am cheating with all the hot guys on my FL.......

    How do I join?
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    As long as he knows who he put a ring on and sleeps with him at night, he can have all the female friends he wants. Once he forgets that then I'll drop kick him in his teeth.

    loveyoumeanitbaby.
  • msmith2020
    msmith2020 Posts: 365 Member
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    The approach I take is that if a person is naturally a social butterfly, its going to be that way in all areas of their life - not just online. These kinds of people are going to attract the opposite sex no matter what because of their outgoing nature... It doesn't necessarily mean that they're a cheater or prone to infidelity. They are who they are.

    If you choose to date or be with a person like that, its just something you accept about their personality. If you're insecure then this personality type isnt a match for you. You'll just end up stressing yourself out and making their lives miserable. A waste of time for the both of you!

    I am not and never have been the jealous type, and I believe people should be allowed to be who they are without others trying to change them because they're judgemental, insurece or controlling. In the end a person is going to do what they want to do anyways and you're not going to stop them. If they want to be with you, they will be. If they want to cheat on you and leave you, they dont need the Internet to do it.

    Basically in the end its about knowing yourself and who you're a good match for. Choose wisely and these types of issue wont even be a problem.

    I totally agree with this. You can;t restrict someone from being social, if its in their personality, just b/c your a jealous type.. Ah well. Live and learn with your partner.
  • msmith2020
    msmith2020 Posts: 365 Member
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    Hearing all the stories about people cheating on their spouses, what is your take on having friends of the opposite sex at MyFitnessPal?

    You definitely shouldn't do it. All of the boob/butt shots on here it's pretty much cheating just by looking at them.

    and I agree with this too.. ^ I don't even know if I want to put my success pics up here anymore bc it's all about showing off your body for attention- the type of attention you should go to a bar to get, not on MFP when ppl are honestly just trying to better themselves. I understand your happy with your new body, but sheesh stop showing your *kitten* around...
  • oOMusicBabii
    oOMusicBabii Posts: 494
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    Hearing all the stories about people cheating on their spouses, what is your take on having friends of the opposite sex at MyFitnessPal?

    Do you have friends of the opposite sex in real life?

    Sorry, but silly question.

    Now if we're talking "friends" in either situation, that IS a major problem.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Let's see.. I start MFP for weight loss reasons. I don't friend guys for their looks. If your my friend its bc you have succeed in your goals and you motivated me to succeed in mine....

    which means you look good.
  • mmedjjon
    mmedjjon Posts: 511
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    I'm happily married to the most gorgeous man on earth but I partake in a bit of harmless flirting with both my male and female friends here. Its silly and fun. But it means nothing!
    Simpified perfectly!!
  • July121980
    July121980 Posts: 37 Member
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    I am happily married and have male friends outside of the online realm. I have never seemed to have an issue with just being friends with someone. I don't have any male friends on here because I guess I am not on here enough to have befriended any males. I am not opposed to it. I think it is wonderful to be able to have advice and opinions from both sexes, especially in the weight loss department.
  • Shannon2714
    Shannon2714 Posts: 843 Member
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    Hearing all the stories about people cheating on their spouses, what is your take on having friends of the opposite sex at MyFitnessPal?


    I am not reading through 14 pages of prior comments, although I am 100% positive that this has already been said: Having FRIENDS of the opposite sex, on MFP or IRL, does NOT equate cheating!!

    Innocent flirting and banter are not cheating unless your SO thinks it is. Otherwise, it is harmless and motivational for some.

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