Online Cheating

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  • glengiles
    glengiles Posts: 147
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    You can't generalize that any group is here to cheat. Some guys troll, some girls troll, people cheat. The worst places, for females, on line is where they are in the minority. The flirting on a car forum or a gun forum or a guitar forum is endless. The worst thing about having opposite gender friends on MFP is that women and men loose weight so differently. I can have twice the calorie intake as many women and still loose faster than them so it's hard to relate to the struggles with weight loss when we're so different that way. Binges, cravings, 'cheat days', exercise, etc. are the common grounds. This site has a majority of females and even this thread discussing on line cheating was started by a female. I guess that would make a site like this more attractive to a trolling male but certainly not all males here are on MFP for that reason.
  • jesshall281
    jesshall281 Posts: 219
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    I have no problem with my husband having female friends on MFP, or him having a problem with me having male friends on MFP. If there is a problem with that, how do you let your husband/wife go to work with the thought of them possibly cheating then? or have a facebook account or mobile phone?

    Trust is everything.
  • Maggie821
    Maggie821 Posts: 55 Member
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    Choose your friends wisely, and don't hesitate to drop someone if they cross the line. You can report the activity, but if someone is intent on cheating/stalking, they are going to just come back with a new screen name. Still, there would be a trail, so I say take the time to do it.

    That said, there are good people on here, both men and woman, and they are focused on getting healthy and joining others on the journey. Reach out, make friends - there is much to learn from both sexes!!!
  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    WOW, just wow. Men and women can't be friends without sex coming into it? Maybe you can't have males friends without wanting to jump them, but not everyone is like that.

    this
    common you are not an animal. I have plenty male friends on MFP, and in real life I work with males only (young and single too). Never jumped one of them by accident!
  • BillyC96
    BillyC96 Posts: 7,560 Member
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    My wife and I are both on here and both have friends of the opposite sex. No big deal.

    Oh yeah, commbined weight loss is over 110 lbs!
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,305 Member
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    my wife and I are online swingers, but offline we are not :laugh:
  • twinmama1987
    twinmama1987 Posts: 566 Member
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    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    wow, not true. I have a lot of friends whom are male its nothing like that, if anything, the friends i have that are women make (jokingly; atleast mostly) sexual innuendoes.

    I think you are hanging with the wrong people.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
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    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    WOW, just wow. Men and women can't be friends without sex coming into it? Maybe you can't have males friends without wanting to jump them, but not everyone is like that.

    I do not WANT to jump any male friends, the only man I'm interested in 'jumping' is my husband.
    I'll repeat again that I was just saying what I had experienced in the past, 3 out of 4 guys who have wanted to add me as a friend were pretty suggestive - FACT! I have no desire to be friends with any guys even to help aid them on the weight loss, if they want female friends there will be plenty of other women out there to support them.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    common you are not an animal.

    actually we are animals. sex is what we do. it drives everything. denying that doesnt change it.
  • Ayla70
    Ayla70 Posts: 284 Member
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    If someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat, regardless of forums like this.

    If there is no trust in the relationship, it's already over.
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,305 Member
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    well just for the record... I am a huge flirt, so is my wife we are very comfortable in our marriage, she has a few gyuys that try and hug her at work, mostly customers. I joke around with my Soccer mom's ( I coach my daughters team) anyway, it really depends on if you are comfortable with your marriage and who you are.

    My friend jokes around that he is dying for a lap dance from my wife, I tell him to bring big bills because he can't afford her.


    we can joke around and be open, I guess we are different then most, I really ahve no problem with her being a huge flirt as long as she lands in our bed at night..lol
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    This is one of the saddest responses I've ever seen for so many reasons
  • ash190489
    ash190489 Posts: 587 Member
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    I only add women on MFP - women who are similar in size, age and goals. I don't see the point reading and having some guy read my diary who's eating and doing things completely different to me (and women for that matter) with completely different goals and attitudes. I need supportive, active and similar women in order to get motivated and to help motivate. I'd rather keep to having a small supportive group and mainly people I know personally (however I had a few good MFP gals that are quite supportive that I don't know personally). Also, my partner wouldn't care if I had men on MFP (at least I don't think he would) however I'd rather not for my previous reasons and there really is no reason to rock the boat (just incase I am wrong!) :smile:
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
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    Let me explain a bit further......Do you feel that having friends at MFP of the opposite sex is maybe tempting? Not that you would really cheat, but maybe consider it because of your friends? Also, do you feel that online flirting is wrong?
  • Cgirlish
    Cgirlish Posts: 263 Member
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    Most of my guy friends here are triathletes or training for tris and are very supportive, a lot are married as well, I often share what is said because my husband is thinking of doing a triathlon next year ...

    My female friends are more of a mixed group
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,305 Member
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    swissmiss, we are friends, I find Online flirting healthy and good for the ego
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
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    I only add women on MFP - women who are similar in size, age and goals. I don't see the point reading and having some guy read my diary who's eating and doing things completely different to me (and women for that matter) with completely different goals and attitudes. I need supportive, active and similar women in order to get motivated and to help motivate. I'd rather keep to having a small supportive group and mainly people I know personally (however I had a few good MFP gals that are quite supportive that I don't know personally). Also, my partner wouldn't care if I had men on MFP (at least I don't think he would) however I'd rather not for my previous reasons and there really is no reason to rock the boat (just incase I am wrong!) :smile:


    well said :) and I totally agree
  • bacamacho
    bacamacho Posts: 306 Member
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    I'm "friends" online with a lot of men of different ages because of our mutual love of a certain football team. The one time I felt one had ill intentions I told him that he needed to stop or he was going to get a "red card" and block from me. He stopped and we're still in communication over our beloved team. Many of them I've been talking to online for the past 3ish years! I even talk to my husband about them calling them my "Juventus friend". I have nothing to hide. If I did, he'd be the first to sniff it out.

    As far as finding friends of similar whatevers, I have found a lot of men to be of my level along with women.
  • TheDreadPirateRoberts
    TheDreadPirateRoberts Posts: 225 Member
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    Let me explain a bit further......Do you feel that having friends at MFP of the opposite sex is maybe tempting? Not that you would really cheat, but maybe consider it because of your friends? Also, do you feel that online flirting is wrong?

    Tempting - for me personally no. I guess it would be tempting if you are the sort who would be tempted normally and I guess the relative anonymity would make it feel safer than "the real thing". Also I've known people who have thought an online affair wasn't a "real" affair.

    I "personally" think online flirting is wrong. Why would you want to do it aside from to bolster your ego or to fantasize? Those who do it tend to consider it to be harmless fun, that's their opinion and not mine.
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
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    I think its unfair for anyone to say all men have ulterior motives, I certinly dont, If someone is attractive and doing well, I acknollege that but it doesnt mean I am going to give my number so we can arrange to book flights, meet up and have a wild time . . . by the way ladies my number is 077980......haha, but seriously, I would have no problem with my pillow missus having guy friends, I wouldnt even mind them complimenting her as long as they dont cross the line. maybe im to laid back over it but I truely believe if you forbid certain things, those things become desires, so even though they are not talking to other guys/gals, they want to . . .. just go with the flow, have some trust and all will be ok, its ok to have friends with the oppisite sex