Online Cheating

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Replies

  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
    well just for the record... I am a huge flirt, so is my wife we are very comfortable in our marriage, she has a few gyuys that try and hug her at work, mostly customers. I joke around with my Soccer mom's ( I coach my daughters team) anyway, it really depends on if you are comfortable with your marriage and who you are.

    My friend jokes around that he is dying for a lap dance from my wife, I tell him to bring big bills because he can't afford her.


    we can joke around and be open, I guess we are different then most, I really ahve no problem with her being a huge flirt as long as she lands in our bed at night..lol
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    This is one of the saddest responses I've ever seen for so many reasons
  • ash190489
    ash190489 Posts: 587 Member
    I only add women on MFP - women who are similar in size, age and goals. I don't see the point reading and having some guy read my diary who's eating and doing things completely different to me (and women for that matter) with completely different goals and attitudes. I need supportive, active and similar women in order to get motivated and to help motivate. I'd rather keep to having a small supportive group and mainly people I know personally (however I had a few good MFP gals that are quite supportive that I don't know personally). Also, my partner wouldn't care if I had men on MFP (at least I don't think he would) however I'd rather not for my previous reasons and there really is no reason to rock the boat (just incase I am wrong!) :smile:
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
    Let me explain a bit further......Do you feel that having friends at MFP of the opposite sex is maybe tempting? Not that you would really cheat, but maybe consider it because of your friends? Also, do you feel that online flirting is wrong?
  • Cgirlish
    Cgirlish Posts: 263 Member
    Most of my guy friends here are triathletes or training for tris and are very supportive, a lot are married as well, I often share what is said because my husband is thinking of doing a triathlon next year ...

    My female friends are more of a mixed group
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
    swissmiss, we are friends, I find Online flirting healthy and good for the ego
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    I only add women on MFP - women who are similar in size, age and goals. I don't see the point reading and having some guy read my diary who's eating and doing things completely different to me (and women for that matter) with completely different goals and attitudes. I need supportive, active and similar women in order to get motivated and to help motivate. I'd rather keep to having a small supportive group and mainly people I know personally (however I had a few good MFP gals that are quite supportive that I don't know personally). Also, my partner wouldn't care if I had men on MFP (at least I don't think he would) however I'd rather not for my previous reasons and there really is no reason to rock the boat (just incase I am wrong!) :smile:


    well said :) and I totally agree
  • bacamacho
    bacamacho Posts: 306 Member
    I'm "friends" online with a lot of men of different ages because of our mutual love of a certain football team. The one time I felt one had ill intentions I told him that he needed to stop or he was going to get a "red card" and block from me. He stopped and we're still in communication over our beloved team. Many of them I've been talking to online for the past 3ish years! I even talk to my husband about them calling them my "Juventus friend". I have nothing to hide. If I did, he'd be the first to sniff it out.

    As far as finding friends of similar whatevers, I have found a lot of men to be of my level along with women.
  • TheDreadPirateRoberts
    TheDreadPirateRoberts Posts: 225 Member
    Let me explain a bit further......Do you feel that having friends at MFP of the opposite sex is maybe tempting? Not that you would really cheat, but maybe consider it because of your friends? Also, do you feel that online flirting is wrong?

    Tempting - for me personally no. I guess it would be tempting if you are the sort who would be tempted normally and I guess the relative anonymity would make it feel safer than "the real thing". Also I've known people who have thought an online affair wasn't a "real" affair.

    I "personally" think online flirting is wrong. Why would you want to do it aside from to bolster your ego or to fantasize? Those who do it tend to consider it to be harmless fun, that's their opinion and not mine.
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
    I think its unfair for anyone to say all men have ulterior motives, I certinly dont, If someone is attractive and doing well, I acknollege that but it doesnt mean I am going to give my number so we can arrange to book flights, meet up and have a wild time . . . by the way ladies my number is 077980......haha, but seriously, I would have no problem with my pillow missus having guy friends, I wouldnt even mind them complimenting her as long as they dont cross the line. maybe im to laid back over it but I truely believe if you forbid certain things, those things become desires, so even though they are not talking to other guys/gals, they want to . . .. just go with the flow, have some trust and all will be ok, its ok to have friends with the oppisite sex
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    Put it this way - re Facebook and MFP - I have personally NEVER messaged anyone on here a flirtatious nor provocative email or message that I didn't already know. On both MFP and FB I regularly (esp FB) get flirtatious messages or those keen on sex or the like. It's defo not just men!
  • queenhiphop
    queenhiphop Posts: 286 Member
    My man excites me enough for me to have to do everything from flirt to full on you know what with him and only him.. nuf said.. it's a bit pathetic when people feel they hav to look elsewhere for excitement

    My relationships with other males are strictly platonic/professional

    If men flirt with me I knock them back and they don't bother again - if they do they are cut off, simple

    In past relationships I've got excitement out of flirting with other guys and even crazily tried to say that it was beneficial to my relationship (as long as there was no actual cheating).......but looking back, I did it because I was bored/lonely

    Maybe you guys who say there's nothing wrong with harmless flirting should rethink your motives and reasons

    Just saying

    Mwah
  • Gyoza11
    Gyoza11 Posts: 143 Member
    I've always felt that if you're worried about either yourself or your spouse having friends of the opposite gender, it says a lot more about you than your spouse. Sounds pretty neurotic and controlling to me (and maybe a bit old fashioned?).

    This was a huge issue for me in a previous relationship since I basically have only two female friends (at the time I had none). My boyfriend got really jealous and started pressuring me to stop hanging out with my friends. Needless to say that relationship didn't last long. I'm happy now though, great boyfriend who loves my friends as well.

    As for this website I don't really see the problem. Meet fun people but if someone has an ulterior motive; deleting them as a friend is easy. Otherwise you're just judging an entire gender.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Been there, done that, NEVER again... No no no no to friends of the opposite sex. tyvm. :smokin:
  • Tat2dDom624
    Tat2dDom624 Posts: 1,226 Member
    I have no intentions of an online affair. That's not why i signed up here. Sure i have female friends here, but i don't have any ulterior motives.
  • ChappyEight
    ChappyEight Posts: 163 Member
    I just make it clear in my profile that I'm happily married. I like having friends of both sexes. That way I get the no BS, football coach type drive from the guys and the constant encouragement from the women. It's a nice mix.

    Again, I don't see the problem if you're clear in your intentions, or lack thereof.
  • deanna_bond
    deanna_bond Posts: 104 Member
    Well I treat this site as a weight lose support site not a online datging service. I do not flirt, may have ajoke or to at my expenses but nothing concerning what yho are talking about. I think its tacky to fllirt on a website that is supposed to be for weight loss just sayin. As for Facebook its the same they are family and friends male and female. Thats it and a lot are married engaged etc. If you are experiencing that on this site obviously they are not here for its rightul purpose. I want the male friends especially trainers for their advice and knowledge and the women supporters for the emotional support and advice males cant give. Flirting seems kind of well immature.
  • tadpole242
    tadpole242 Posts: 507 Member
    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    This is one of the saddest responses I've ever seen for so many reasons
    QFT
    It says more about the person, than the kind of people she has met or is likely to meet. :sadface:
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
    I'm going to have to politely disagree on the fact that men and women cannot be friends.


    My best friend that I have known for 16 years, is a male. We have never done anything sexual or ever had the desire to. We are both in seperate relationships, and our partners both trust us.

    I have a few male friends, and it's the same with them.

    As for the online cheating stuff. I don't see the harm in adding people of the opposite sex. It's all about common sense.
  • Kristy713ckm
    Kristy713ckm Posts: 54 Member
    My husband and I have a general agreement for online that we don't befriend people of the opposite sex... innocent "friendship's" can get too personal and an "affair" can sneak up on the best ... But I feel that certain people CAN handle it and not be "tempted". If the other person crosses the line, they delete or stop it. But I feel better knowing my husband isn't chit chatting day & night w/female friends. And I sure feel better he can't "innocently" flirt with other women. Save that flirting for ME! We have 2 kids and are very busy. : )
  • 33neenaj
    33neenaj Posts: 306
    Dr. Drew did a very interesting show on this the other night. He demonstrated that online flirting means alot more when men do so then when woman do so psychologically.

    He explained that men only do things with intent. If they are trolling the web they are doing so to meet and cheat.

    While woman whom are more social can flirt and turn it off and go back to their kids and husbands redirecting the online feelings into their current relationships, kinda like a romance novel.


    While, I believe there is a certain point that it is cheating for both sexes don't get me wrong. I just found his theory on this subject interesting and thought I would share since you brought it up ^.^


    Sounds about right
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    I disagree.. I have a lot of guy friends. I go do things with them that most of my female friends don't like to do.. like car shows, and shooting at the gun range.
    Sex and innuendos never enter into it.
  • Tiff587
    Tiff587 Posts: 264 Member
    Gender doesn't come into it with my friend list.

    I have people with simliar goals and people with completly different goals, this way I can find out about things I would never have known. Thanks to Matt I have leant lots about lifting and protein - Thenks Matt!

    I would delete guys who added me to hit on, just the same as I would delete women who I didn't connect with.

    I have never been tempted to cheat or flirt, my male and female friends alike are awesome, interesting and a great support!
  • JoeD1968
    JoeD1968 Posts: 167
    Variety is the spice of life....
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    Dr. Drew did a very interesting show on this the other night. He demonstrated that online flirting means alot more when men do so then when woman do so psychologically.

    He explained that men only do things with intent. If they are trolling the web they are doing so to meet and cheat.

    While woman whom are more social can flirt and turn it off and go back to their kids and husbands redirecting the online feelings into their current relationships, kinda like a romance novel.


    While, I believe there is a certain point that it is cheating for both sexes don't get me wrong. I just found his theory on this subject interesting and thought I would share since you brought it up ^.^


    Sounds about right

    It's truish, but I would say exactly correct at all.

    What about when the woman actively cheats, the above kinda makes it sound worse as its more of an emotional decision rather than the guy who is just trying to get his end?
  • chezileigh
    chezileigh Posts: 255
    I do tend to feel more comfortable in the company of men too and always have, never been the type to have loads of girl friends. I haven't got any men on my friends list yet but I wouldn't refuse any. My profile makes it clear that I am happily married and as long as that is respected, it's ok.
  • TheDreadPirateRoberts
    TheDreadPirateRoberts Posts: 225 Member
    Something that for sure stops cheating on MFP is giving your SO your logon details. We both have each others in case either is away from the Internet (how do we cope during those lonely minutes!!! :S) and want to check something or update some one. I'm also passing my logon details to my fiancee's niece in a couple of days so she can keep my "days logged on" etc going while I'm in the USA (NY / NOLA and a few other places) with my fiancee. She'll doubtless screw around on it which will make people laugh hopefully.

    I'd be a bit screwed if I was cheating :)

    I've seen Facebook ruin some relationships in the past though. I deleted my account there and I hide behind a mask here..but just because its so comfortable :)
  • cosmoholic
    cosmoholic Posts: 23
    I think its the Pirate brings out the worst in people ;)

    I just snorted into my coffee. Thank you. :)
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    Gender doesn't come into it with my friend list.

    I have people with simliar goals and people with completly different goals, this way I can find out about things I would never have known. Thanks to Matt I have leant lots about lifting and protein - Thenks Matt!

    I would delete guys who added me to hit on, just the same as I would delete women who I didn't connect with.

    I have never been tempted to cheat or flirt, my male and female friends alike are awesome, interesting and a great support!

    Thanks hun :flowerforyou:
  • cosmoholic
    cosmoholic Posts: 23
    I've seen Facebook ruin some relationships in the past though. I deleted my account there and I hide behind a mask here..but just because its so comfortable :)

    Again, thank you. You've just made my morning. :)