Online Cheating
Replies
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I've seen Facebook ruin some relationships in the past though. I deleted my account there and I hide behind a mask here..but just because its so comfortable
Again, thank you. You've just made my morning.
Careful Cosmo, you sound like you're hitting on me
Have a great day... I need to get off here and get my lazy *kitten* back to work.0 -
My friends are awesome, male and female. Also my wife is on, too. I wish she were on more, but she can log onto my MFP at any time. I don't have anything to hide.0
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For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!
Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!
What a terribly narrow minded view on life and men you have.
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My husband and I have a general agreement for online that we don't befriend people of the opposite sex... innocent "friendship's" can get too personal and an "affair" can sneak up on the best ... But I feel that certain people CAN handle it and not be "tempted". If the other person crosses the line, they delete or stop it. But I feel better knowing my husband isn't chit chatting day & night w/female friends. And I sure feel better he can't "innocently" flirt with other women. Save that flirting for ME! We have 2 kids and are very busy. : )
QFT!!! The road to hell is paved with good intentions. 0 -
My wife and I are both on here and both have friends of the opposite sex. No big deal.
Oh yeah, commbined weight loss is over 110 lbs!
Well done you! That's what it's all about in the end!0 -
I have no intentions of an online affair. That's not why i signed up here. Sure i have female friends here, but i don't have any ulterior motives.
I made a commitment to my wife that she is my ONLY lover. We have almost the American dream, we're just missing the money part. She flirts with women not men. I tell women they are doing great and look great sometimes. My wife is not bothered by my compliments to other women. She is bothered by the attention I give them because she wants/needs/deserves all of my attention.
I feel great when another compliments me, and even more so if she is very attractive. In return I offer those compliments too. But my faimily is way more important to me than a new piece of pie.0 -
Dr. Drew did a very interesting show on this the other night. He demonstrated that online flirting means alot more when men do so then when woman do so psychologically.
He explained that men only do things with intent. If they are trolling the web they are doing so to meet and cheat.
While woman whom are more social can flirt and turn it off and go back to their kids and husbands redirecting the online feelings into their current relationships, kinda like a romance novel.
While, I believe there is a certain point that it is cheating for both sexes don't get me wrong. I just found his theory on this subject interesting and thought I would share since you brought it up ^.^
Sounds about right
It's truish, but I would say exactly correct at all.
What about when the woman actively cheats, the above kinda makes it sound worse as its more of an emotional decision rather than the guy who is just trying to get his end?
While Dr. Drew felt women could go back to life as normal after flirting, I'd argue that the seeds likely would have been planted outside the relationship. Therefore, redirecting feelings towards her husband may take place in the beginning, but as soon as things stop going well in the marriage (as all hit rocky times), it would likely be those online seeds that were planted that will get watered, not her husband's.
So perhaps a guy's harvest grows a bit faster, but maybe a woman's just needs more time to be cultivated. Eventually, they tend to lead to the same place IMO.0 -
I've been married 11 years and I have a lot of experience being around men online. I used to be a hardcore MMO gamer for around 6 years. 99% of my friends were male and I would talk to them all day long. You could imagine that would have had some kind of impact on my marriage but it really didn't. Of course I had guys who flirted and tried to get me to cheat but I found ****the golden rule***** is to have them become friends with your husband. Almost every single one that I was getting "vibes" from did a 180 and ended up becoming great friends of ours. Most men wont betray friends and when you add the element of friendship, it changed things.
My husband has no interest in this website so I'm on my own. Its okay though, a little flirting is fine but Id never ever so anything and he trusts me 100%. Honestly, no one could compare to what I have at home.
A side note: When people date online (especially without video chat), they are not really dating the other person. They are dating their perception of them. Basically you cant replicate meeting someone in person. Body language, voice tones, facial expressions, seeing their environmental is very very important to really know if you are compatible. I've seen it a 100 times, Ill see it 100 more.0 -
I've made it abundantly clear on my profile that I'm in a serious relationship. Considering the male to female ratio on this site, I'm not surprised or ashamed there are more females on my FL. If someone seems like they are after a bit more than motivation to lose weight, they get a kind but firm reminder. After that I'll just remove them. Easy day.0
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every couple is different
My wife and I are on here and we have friends of the opposite sex. Some couples have "online" affairs, or emotional affairs, which pretty much is almost as bad as cheating in my opinion.0 -
I have a couple of guy friends on here and there has never been anything inappropriate, and I haven't felt tempted to cheat, emotionally or otherwise. My husband means the world to me, there is nothing worth the risk of losing him.0
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every couple is different
My wife and I are on here and we have friends of the opposite sex. Some couples have "online" affairs, or emotional affairs, which pretty much is almost as bad as cheating in my opinion.
agreed.....0 -
- men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!
I think that depends on how ugly or good looking the other person is.0 -
- men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!
I think that depends on how ugly or good looking the other person is.
I am so going to hell for laughing out loud when i read that!0 -
I also think less of people who purposly don't have friends of the opposite sex with a claim like it is out of respect for their spouse. To me, that means you don't have enough belief/trust or confindence in yourself to make proper decisions.0
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men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!
of course they can don't be silly! There's nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex either on here or in real life. It's a bad idea though if you have the urge to make that friendship into something else.0 -
I just don't add men, but not because I'm afraid I'll internet cheat or whatever.
I just respect that since my husband doesn't personally know them, he doesn't trust them.0 -
I also think less of people who purposly don't have friends of the opposite sex with a claim like it is out of respect for their spouse. To me, that means you don't have enough belief/trust or confindence in yourself to make proper decisions.
This ^^^men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!
Hahaha. That's so wrong. Growing up I had 1 girl best friend and almost all the rest were guys who I never had anything with. Imagine that!!! Its about your ability to remain loyal and how trustworthy you are. Its not the where you meet anyone or who other people are, its you.0 -
Most of my guy friends here are triathletes or training for tris and are very supportive, a lot are married as well, I often share what is said because my husband is thinking of doing a triathlon next year ...
My female friends are more of a mixed group
X2 - I can't tell you much about any of my friends on MFP. I can't tell you if they are married, what they do, what they like, etc.. but I do know that several help hold me accountable... I don't really care much about weight, I am more interested in fitness, how I feel, and getting my workouts in. These friends know I have some goals for certain triathlons I want to do and they check in from time to time to make sure I am sticking with the program. That is the real benefit, to me anyway, of MFP friends.0 -
I say we are all mature adults and should be able to have the friends we choose. Its called trust people lol0
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Having friends of the opposite sex on MFP isn't online cheating..
^This!
I've got several guy friends on here and there's never been any flirting or unwanted advancements.
I have a lot of people on my FB too as does my hubby. It's all about trust!0 -
Sorry but I totally disagree with you. So according to your statement, guys souldn't be on MFP? Wow, I came on here to lose weight and get in shape and this is a tool to help me accomplish my goals.For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!
Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!
"Out of respect for my husband" is one of the biggest BS statements I have seen on this site. I am happily married to a beautiful woman and we have 3 kids. I have females on my friends list who are very supportive of me and my efforts and I try to be supportive to them as well and there are no innuendoes involved. My wife is also on MFP and she has male friends on her list and I am 100% ok with it because I trust her. I have female friends in real life and talk to them frequently without any sexual thoughts or desires and some of my female friends are dang good looking.
I am selective of who I ask to be my friend on here and who I accept as a friend and I DO NOT ask a female to be my friend just because she is sexy, cute or whatever, I have better morals and values than that. I friend people who have same interest and goals that I do and people I can relate to.0 -
Hearing all the stories about people cheating on their spouses, what is your take on having friends of the opposite sex at MyFitnessPal?
At the risk of sounding a bit prudish, I think that there needs to be a bit of thought when adding any friend on MFP. There are lots of fit, buff good-looking folks that are proud of what they've accomplished and rightfully want to show off their success with somewhat revealing photos.
More often than not, if I look at the friend list of one of the many male Adonis's that are on MFP that list has a disproportionate number of gorgeous, young women. Not judging, just observing.
Cheating on a spouse doesn't need to be physical, and in fact an on-line relationship, if there is a strong emotional connection, can arguably be more damaging than a fling or one-night stand.
If you find yourself in an online relationship where there is a real emotional connection, you need to reflect on what got you to that point and why your spouse/partner relationship is not meeting your emotional needs.
That said, I have female friends on MFP. The reason is simple. These women are all very knowledgeable when it comes to health and fitness and I learn from them every day.0 -
I only add women on MFP - women who are similar in size, age and goals. I don't see the point reading and having some guy read my diary who's eating and doing things completely different to me (and women for that matter) with completely different goals and attitudes. I need supportive, active and similar women in order to get motivated and to help motivate. I'd rather keep to having a small supportive group and mainly people I know personally (however I had a few good MFP gals that are quite supportive that I don't know personally). Also, my partner wouldn't care if I had men on MFP (at least I don't think he would) however I'd rather not for my previous reasons and there really is no reason to rock the boat (just incase I am wrong!)
This is all well and good, and I can appreciate the focus you have. But you need to open your door and get some fresh air. Seriously, planned communities sound nice but mostly they just breed ignorance, if not arrogance. Be yourself, stand tall, and make a little space inside yourself to learn from the unknown.0 -
I also think less of people who purposly don't have friends of the opposite sex with a claim like it is out of respect for their spouse. To me, that means you don't have enough belief/trust or confindence in yourself to make proper decisions.
This ^^^men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!
Hahaha. That's so wrong. Growing up I had 1 girl best friend and almost all the rest were guys who I never had anything with. Imagine that!!! Its about your ability to remain loyal and how trustworthy you are. Its not the where you meet anyone or who other people are, its you.
Um.... my 2 of best friends are guys, neither is gay, we have been best friends for almost 6 years... sex doesn't come into it..and to be completely honest I have more sexual innuendos come into my friendships with females than males. So I think the person who said men and women cannot be friends is ridiculous. I simply have more in common with guys than I do girls - always have.
As for having friends of the opposite sex on the site. I love it. Guys are generally way less drama filled than females, they are just as supportive, and its no different than having friend of the opposite sex in real life.. I have strict criteria for someone to be on my friends list... but its not just for men, its for women too,0 -
I have male friends on here and facebook. My husband also has female friends on facebook. Is it cheating to have friends? No.
I would never ever do anything that would make my husband uncomfortable, and neither would he.0 -
Sorry but I totally disagree with you. So according to your statement, guys souldn't be on MFP? Wow, I came on here to lose weight and get in shape and this is a tool to help me accomplish my goals.For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!
Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!
"Out of respect for my husband" is one of the biggest BS statements I have seen on this site. I am happily married to a beautiful woman and we have 3 kids. I have females on my friends list who are very supportive of me and my efforts and I try to be supportive to them as well and there are no innuendoes involved. My wife is also on MFP and she has male friends on her list and I am 100% ok with it because I trust her. I have female friends in real life and talk to them frequently without any sexual thoughts or desires and some of my female friends are dang good looking.
I am selective of who I ask to be my friend on here and who I accept as a friend and I DO NOT ask a female to be my friend just because she is sexy, cute or whatever, I have better morals and values than that. I friend people who have same interest and goals that I do and people I can relate to.
@ wing man you cannot come out with a statement that me having respect for my husband being BS! I'm actually sorry I posted my comment, me and my other half had a laugh about the replies regarding this post at lunchtime - all I know is I'm happy and don't give a toss what any of the rest of you do or who you choose to add as friends, we all have our own ideas etc. I might well be touchy on the subject as I am fed up with getting the attention of sleazeballs, they came looking for me not the other way around. Ok so perhaps the majority of men are not like this (my SO certainly isn't!), I've just been very unlucky and had a rant LOL its what us women do at times!0 -
For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!
Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!
Hah!
You women are just as bad.
I agree with both these comments.0 -
Sorry but I totally disagree with you. So according to your statement, guys souldn't be on MFP? Wow, I came on here to lose weight and get in shape and this is a tool to help me accomplish my goals.For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!
Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!
"Out of respect for my husband" is one of the biggest BS statements I have seen on this site. I am happily married to a beautiful woman and we have 3 kids. I have females on my friends list who are very supportive of me and my efforts and I try to be supportive to them as well and there are no innuendoes involved. My wife is also on MFP and she has male friends on her list and I am 100% ok with it because I trust her. I have female friends in real life and talk to them frequently without any sexual thoughts or desires and some of my female friends are dang good looking.
I am selective of who I ask to be my friend on here and who I accept as a friend and I DO NOT ask a female to be my friend just because she is sexy, cute or whatever, I have better morals and values than that. I friend people who have same interest and goals that I do and people I can relate to.
@ wing man you cannot come out with a statement that me having respect for my husband being BS! I'm actually sorry I posted my comment, me and my other half had a laugh about the replies regarding this post at lunchtime - all I know is I'm happy and don't give a toss what any of the rest of you do or who you choose to add as friends, we all have our own ideas etc. I might well be touchy on the subject as I am fed up with getting the attention of sleazeballs, they came looking for me not the other way around. Ok so perhaps the majority of men are not like this (my SO certainly isn't!), I've just been very unlucky and had a rant LOL its what us women do at times!
Fwiw, I think you got more than your fair share of negative replies considering you clarified what you meant later in the thread. I just dont think people read beyond your first post.
Its just a forum and not life and death (unlike Pirating!
), so its all cool. Each to their own and all that. Right I'm off for some lunch... and some run*
*Rum!!! NOT run! Today is my "slob day". Tomorrow is back to it!0 -
@dreadpirate - thank you..! you are restoring my faith in men lol
I was seriously thinking that I would never post a comment again, I do find people can be negative and rude even.0
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