Online Cheating

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  • TheDreadPirateRoberts
    TheDreadPirateRoberts Posts: 225 Member
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    I've seen Facebook ruin some relationships in the past though. I deleted my account there and I hide behind a mask here..but just because its so comfortable :)

    Again, thank you. You've just made my morning. :)

    Careful Cosmo, you sound like you're hitting on me :D

    Have a great day... I need to get off here and get my lazy *kitten* back to work.
  • schpanks
    schpanks Posts: 471 Member
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    My friends are awesome, male and female. Also my wife is on, too. I wish she were on more, but she can log onto my MFP at any time. I don't have anything to hide.
  • casperuk
    casperuk Posts: 195 Member
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    For me its a women only rule as any of the guys I've come across so far usually have ulterior motives even being on a site like MFP!

    Also out of respect for my husband as well as I wouldn't be happy about him having women friends - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!


    What a terribly narrow minded view on life and men you have. :(
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    My husband and I have a general agreement for online that we don't befriend people of the opposite sex... innocent "friendship's" can get too personal and an "affair" can sneak up on the best ... But I feel that certain people CAN handle it and not be "tempted". If the other person crosses the line, they delete or stop it. But I feel better knowing my husband isn't chit chatting day & night w/female friends. And I sure feel better he can't "innocently" flirt with other women. Save that flirting for ME! We have 2 kids and are very busy. : )

    QFT!!! The road to hell is paved with good intentions. :smile:
  • Kyrosh
    Kyrosh Posts: 238
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    My wife and I are both on here and both have friends of the opposite sex. No big deal.

    Oh yeah, commbined weight loss is over 110 lbs!

    Well done you! That's what it's all about in the end!
  • Briski1411
    Briski1411 Posts: 296 Member
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    I have no intentions of an online affair. That's not why i signed up here. Sure i have female friends here, but i don't have any ulterior motives.


    I made a commitment to my wife that she is my ONLY lover. We have almost the American dream, we're just missing the money part. She flirts with women not men. I tell women they are doing great and look great sometimes. My wife is not bothered by my compliments to other women. She is bothered by the attention I give them because she wants/needs/deserves all of my attention.

    I feel great when another compliments me, and even more so if she is very attractive. In return I offer those compliments too. But my faimily is way more important to me than a new piece of pie.
  • devodev44
    devodev44 Posts: 50 Member
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    Dr. Drew did a very interesting show on this the other night. He demonstrated that online flirting means alot more when men do so then when woman do so psychologically.

    He explained that men only do things with intent. If they are trolling the web they are doing so to meet and cheat.

    While woman whom are more social can flirt and turn it off and go back to their kids and husbands redirecting the online feelings into their current relationships, kinda like a romance novel.


    While, I believe there is a certain point that it is cheating for both sexes don't get me wrong. I just found his theory on this subject interesting and thought I would share since you brought it up ^.^


    Sounds about right

    It's truish, but I would say exactly correct at all.

    What about when the woman actively cheats, the above kinda makes it sound worse as its more of an emotional decision rather than the guy who is just trying to get his end?

    While Dr. Drew felt women could go back to life as normal after flirting, I'd argue that the seeds likely would have been planted outside the relationship. Therefore, redirecting feelings towards her husband may take place in the beginning, but as soon as things stop going well in the marriage (as all hit rocky times), it would likely be those online seeds that were planted that will get watered, not her husband's.

    So perhaps a guy's harvest grows a bit faster, but maybe a woman's just needs more time to be cultivated. Eventually, they tend to lead to the same place IMO.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
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    I've been married 11 years and I have a lot of experience being around men online. I used to be a hardcore MMO gamer for around 6 years. 99% of my friends were male and I would talk to them all day long. You could imagine that would have had some kind of impact on my marriage but it really didn't. Of course I had guys who flirted and tried to get me to cheat but I found ****the golden rule***** is to have them become friends with your husband. Almost every single one that I was getting "vibes" from did a 180 and ended up becoming great friends of ours. Most men wont betray friends and when you add the element of friendship, it changed things.

    My husband has no interest in this website so I'm on my own. Its okay though, a little flirting is fine but Id never ever so anything and he trusts me 100%. Honestly, no one could compare to what I have at home. :)

    A side note: When people date online (especially without video chat), they are not really dating the other person. They are dating their perception of them. Basically you cant replicate meeting someone in person. Body language, voice tones, facial expressions, seeing their environmental is very very important to really know if you are compatible. I've seen it a 100 times, Ill see it 100 more.
  • dirtydmvkid
    dirtydmvkid Posts: 184
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    I've made it abundantly clear on my profile that I'm in a serious relationship. Considering the male to female ratio on this site, I'm not surprised or ashamed there are more females on my FL. If someone seems like they are after a bit more than motivation to lose weight, they get a kind but firm reminder. After that I'll just remove them. Easy day.
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
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    every couple is different

    My wife and I are on here and we have friends of the opposite sex. Some couples have "online" affairs, or emotional affairs, which pretty much is almost as bad as cheating in my opinion.
  • StrengthIDidntKnow
    StrengthIDidntKnow Posts: 568 Member
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    I have a couple of guy friends on here and there has never been anything inappropriate, and I haven't felt tempted to cheat, emotionally or otherwise. My husband means the world to me, there is nothing worth the risk of losing him.
  • queenhiphop
    queenhiphop Posts: 286 Member
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    every couple is different

    My wife and I are on here and we have friends of the opposite sex. Some couples have "online" affairs, or emotional affairs, which pretty much is almost as bad as cheating in my opinion.

    agreed.....
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    I think that depends on how ugly or good looking the other person is.
  • TheDreadPirateRoberts
    TheDreadPirateRoberts Posts: 225 Member
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    - men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    I think that depends on how ugly or good looking the other person is.

    I am so going to hell for laughing out loud when i read that!
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    I also think less of people who purposly don't have friends of the opposite sex with a claim like it is out of respect for their spouse. To me, that means you don't have enough belief/trust or confindence in yourself to make proper decisions.
  • TheLessOfMe
    TheLessOfMe Posts: 71 Member
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    men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    of course they can don't be silly! There's nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex either on here or in real life. It's a bad idea though if you have the urge to make that friendship into something else.
  • kwin91
    kwin91 Posts: 128
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    I just don't add men, but not because I'm afraid I'll internet cheat or whatever.

    I just respect that since my husband doesn't personally know them, he doesn't trust them.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
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    I also think less of people who purposly don't have friends of the opposite sex with a claim like it is out of respect for their spouse. To me, that means you don't have enough belief/trust or confindence in yourself to make proper decisions.

    This ^^^
    men and women cannot be friends without sex or innuendoes coming into the equation!

    Hahaha. That's so wrong. Growing up I had 1 girl best friend and almost all the rest were guys who I never had anything with. Imagine that!!! Its about your ability to remain loyal and how trustworthy you are. Its not the where you meet anyone or who other people are, its you.
  • volleypc
    volleypc Posts: 134 Member
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    Most of my guy friends here are triathletes or training for tris and are very supportive, a lot are married as well, I often share what is said because my husband is thinking of doing a triathlon next year ...

    My female friends are more of a mixed group

    X2 - I can't tell you much about any of my friends on MFP. I can't tell you if they are married, what they do, what they like, etc.. but I do know that several help hold me accountable... I don't really care much about weight, I am more interested in fitness, how I feel, and getting my workouts in. These friends know I have some goals for certain triathlons I want to do and they check in from time to time to make sure I am sticking with the program. That is the real benefit, to me anyway, of MFP friends.
  • Alma_Sana
    Alma_Sana Posts: 453 Member
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    I say we are all mature adults and should be able to have the friends we choose. Its called trust people lol

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